A dented black pick-up with its headlights off slowly rolled up to the curb across the street from the seemingly abandoned warehouse. The driver put it in park, then turned to her companion and said, "I don't know why you won't drop this, Varric. I wouldn't have told you if I'd know I was going to face an interrogation."
Varric shook his head in mild disbelief and then raised the pitch of his voice in an almost-passable impression of Hawke's plucky Fereldan accent. "I just happened to run into the leader of the Qunari military on a moonlit beach and flirted mildly as we swapped playlists. How was your evening, Varric? Tee-hee-hee!" Hawke groaned at the dwarf's high-pitched giggle and fluttering eyelashes. His voice dropped back into his normal husky tone. "C'mon, Hawke, give me something more. You're not usually so close-lipped!"
Fenris, relegated to the back seat for this outing, piped up. "I, for one, wish to hear no more about it. My mind is still reeling from the shock of Hawke having stumbled upon one of the most influential military leaders in all of Thedas and not having somehow goaded the man into declaring war on the Free Marshes. I am adrift in a sea of confusion."
Shaking her head, Hawke exited the vehicle, her companions doing the same. There was a moment of silence as each of them readied themselves for the coming confrontation. Hawke made a minor adjustment to the straps of the amps on each of her forearms. Isabela had modded the amps so that even if she expended a high enough level of mana to be deemed an Offensive Use of Magic—which she most certainly would be this evening—the tracker embedded in her arm would relay none of that information to her Templar officer, thus preventing a visit from an angry Cullen. To her side, Fenris loaded his assault rifle while Varric whispered sweet-nothings to Bianca as he lifted his favorite M-5 Viper sniper rifle from her immaculate case.
In a strident whisper, Hawke hissed, "I think this is not the best time to discuss this, gentlemen. Perhaps after we finish our business here, we can all go back to my place, get in our jammies and talk about boys while we braid each other's hair? Whadaya say?" She gave them both A Look then turned to the warehouse on the opposite of the street.
As they walked, Fenris muttered, "I didn't want to talk about it at all, I don't know why you directed that to me." He received another look from Hawke for that remark.
Though it looked deserted at this time of night, the warehouse was actually the base for a group of criminals that had been committing a series of armed bank robberies throughout Kirkwall over the last three months. Hawke and her associates did not normally bother themselves with bank robbers but the group had grown increasingly bold and violent in the manner of its operations. Three days ago, a bank security officer and two hostages had been killed during the heist. The group had caught her attention with that little snafu; within 48 hours, Hawke's contacts had found the location of their hideout and the last 24 hours had seen the planning of tonight's escapade.
Glancing at the time display on her amp, she motioned to her small team to follow her. Aveline was expecting her call in 15 minutes, which left them just enough time to get in, subdue the gang of six criminals, then get out before the Kirkwall Police Department arrived on scene.
They reached the back entrance to the warehouse. Hawke and Fenris stood at each side of the door, scanning the area with vigilant eyes, while Varric worked his particular kind of magic on the lock. At his nod, Hawke silently opened the door. She could hear the faint sound of voices echoing from the front of the warehouse. She nodded at her two companions and stepped inside with the white-haired elf and her dwarven sniper close behind.
Back in the driver's seat of her truck, Hawke leaned against the steering wheel with a satisfied smirk on her face, as she watched the gang of bank robbers being manhandled into the back of a police van. Five of them would get to go directly to the station, while one would be making a stop at Kirkwall General first. That unfortunate fellow had been taking a leak while Hawke and her team had made quick work of restraining his compatriots. From his ranged position, Varric's sharp eyes had seen the shaggy-haired criminal creeping up behind Hawke as she was zip-tying another man's hands behind his back. A sharp crack sounded from Bianca and Shaggy had fallen to the floor behind Hawke, grabbing his blown-out kneecap in agony.
Hawke's phone vibrated at her waist. She unclipped it, glanced at the caller ID and answered with, "Aveline, my sweet, Varric, Fenris, and I have decided that we will be accepting your gratitude in the form of copious amounts of alcohol purchased for us at the Hanged Man tomorrow evening. I'm assuming you'll be done with your paperwork by then?"
She listened to the police captain's reply and smiled. "No, none of that blood was ours. We are unscathed. Just very, very thirsty." She paused again to listen. "Very good, tomorrow. See you then." Hawke replaced her phone in its holster on her belt.
Turning to Varric and Fenris, she said cheerily, "Aveline sends her warmest regards and thanks us for a job well done. As usual, we accomplished in three days what would have taken Kirkwall's finest another three weeks to get around to. I swear, that poor woman will die buried under reams of paperwork and red tape. She'll be meeting us for a round at The Hanged Man tomorrow."
Varric slumped back in the passenger seat, with what might be deemed a pout on a face less manly. "Hawke, that was almost too easy. Bianca's been complaining that I hardly ever take her any place fun anymore. Since that last time we cleaned out a Carta hide-out, it's been nothing but small-time losers like these dipshits tonight."
Fenris leaned forward and draped his muscled arms along the top of the front seat. "Dwarf, you are aware that by uttering those words you've now assured that our next job will be a study in blood, tears, and fuck-ups?"
"Yes, way to jinx us, Varric," Hawke agreed sarcastically. "How about you try to sweet-talk your lady into being satisfied with having blown off someone's knee cap tonight?"
Varric grumbled, "Fine, fine."
Hawke's phone vibrated again. She unclipped it once more and glanced at the text message on the screen. "Huh," she grunted bemusedly after reading it.
"Aveline again?" Varric wondered out loud.
"No," Hawke murmured. She glanced at her friend out of the corner of her eye. "The Arishok's assistant, Tallis. The Arishok wants to see me at the embassy tomorrow." She looked out the driver's side window and waited for the reaction.
There was a loud silence from her friends.
Unable to restrain himself further, Varric exploded, "Okay, NOW can we talk about it?"