"How to say goodbye"
Miranda was in her room facing herself in the mirror trying to figure out how she could have turned from a happy and loved woman to this empty silhouette. She still could not believe what happened! How could she? How can she be expected to live without Andrea? For whom is she going to take the strength to get up from bed and face the day? And more important, how can she look at her two beautiful baby boys without feeling the pain of loss. How can she hold on to the knowledge that they were given to her by the one person she loved and can never truly thank her for everything she'd given her. Looking at them was like looking into Andrea's eyes, and she didn't know how she could do it.
Caroline came into the room and brought Miranda to face her.
"Mom, the memorial service is about to start. We have to get going." Caroline said gently.
"I don't know what to do." Miranda whispered looking with lost eyes at her daughter.
"Mom, you have to be strong, for all of us and for yourself. Andy wouldn't like to see you like this."
"How are the boys?" Miranda asked trying to smile at the thought of her children.
"They're sleeping, the nanny just fed them. Joanna said they are just like me and Cassy when we were a baby". Caroline said smiling to her mother.
"Thanks honey. You and your sister have helped me a great deal," Miranda paused, "through all of this."
"Mom, Andy was family and the boys are our brothers." Caroline said gently hugging her mother.
Miranda hold Caroline closer and added. "I know baby but thanks for it all anyway"
"Mom, Andy's mother asked to talk to you before we go." Saying that, Caroline´s expression became a little more concerned.
"What does she wants? I don't think I have the strength or time to deal with her now." Miranda snapped.
Giving a deep sigh, Caroline tried to make her mother calmer "Just try mom. You know Andy would like for the two of you to have a good relationship. Especially now."
"Alright. I will talk to that woman in my study." Miranda said, though she hate the idea of facing Andrea's mother right now.
"Thanks mom", Caroline said while kissing Miranda on the cheek.
-Miranda's study-
Miranda entered her study to find Andy's mother, Kate, looking at the family pictures lined along the mantel. Especially the frames which held a brightly smiling young journalist.
"What can I do for you Mrs. Sachs?" Miranda tried to use her icy tone towards that woman.
"As I always say Miranda, there is no need for formalities. You can call me Kate." Miranda wondered when their voices had begun to sound so similar.
"What can I do for you...Kate?" Miranda asked obviously irritated.
"I just want to let you know that when the funeral is over, my family and I are going back to Ohio."
"I understand, let Emily know if you need anything. I already told her to buy first class tickets and assist in every and any need you may have." Miranda said trying to be calm.
"Thank you."
"I will try my best to that your family gets to know and has a close relationship with the boys when they are old enough to fly." Miranda added thinking that Andrea would have wanted that way.
Kate face went harder and explained gently "I don't think you understood. What I meant was that my husband and my grandsons, my daughter's children, and I are leaving to go home."
Miranda felt her blood begin to sizzle the moment Kate corrected her. It began to boil as Kate continued. Being the kind of person she naturally was with Andy´s family, she tried to avoid conflict, so she remained calm and composed on the outside. She gave new meaning to as stiff as a stone.
"I beg your pardon?" An incredulous Miranda asked.
"You didn't possibly think I would let YOU of all people raise my grandchildren in this house of sin." Kate said.
"I will pretend I didn't hear that last phrase." Miranda grinded her teeth together as she spoke. Perhaps it was time to change the kind of person she was.
"Then it's best if you listen again, closely this time." Who did this woman think she was? "I will take these boys with us and raise them the way they should be raised. I made a mistake with their mother. One I will save them from."
"Save them from..." Miranda couldn't believe what she was hearing
"From this kind of life." Kate snapped pointing to Miranda.
Miranda raised her voice "These boys are my children too! Andrea and I planned everything. From their conception to how they would be raised. So Kate," Miranda gave emphases to her name, "I don't have much left from that plan, except them. But I can guarantee that neither you nor any other person will ever take my boys from this house. They are my children, under my responsibility and safety and they will remain here with me and their sisters! Do you understand, or is it beyond your ability to comprehend?"
"We will see Miranda. Let us see what the law has to say about this. I already called a lawyer to discuss my rights over the boys."
"I don't care about what you are going to do, even if I have to make Johnny Cochran come back from the dead, you will never, ever take my children away from me." Miranda was getting angrier by the second.
"I know you will come to your senses. Those boys have the right to live a normal life. In a house full of love and respect, with a man they can have as a model, I don't want my grandchildren be raised like your girls!"
Miranda slowly walked across the study and stopped when she had invaded Kate's personal space leaving barley two inches between Kate's face and her own.
Miranda took a deep breath and said "Don't you ever talk about my girls as if they are anything less than two—intelligent, compassionate, loving children—or I will make sure you regret each word you utter in the slowest painful manner."
With that Miranda turned around and stopped by the door and through this over her shoulder.
"Now if you excuse me, I have to say goodbye to the love of my life, my partner, and the mother of my children." Miranda added as she slowly closed the door even as she imagined slamming it off its hinges.
-Frank E. Campbell Chapel-
When Miranda and girls arrived at the funeral service the chapel was already crowded with members of the press. All of whom wanted pictures and headline credits. When they sat the service began.
Nigel started to speak about Andy and paid a solemn homage to the memory of his good friend. When he finished, barely able to contain the sadness in his heart, he called for Miranda so she could say her speech to those gathered to celebrate the memory of the one person she cherished and adored. Miranda slowly moved to the front and sighed heavily before she started to speak.
Miranda began "Andrea, there are so many stories I wanted to live with you. Many dreams I wanted to share with you. There are so many 'I love yous' I wanted to say to you."
Miranda felt her whole world falling apart, as she spoke. She had never imagined something so painful. Standing here would be this painful.
"You were my angel, you were my strength. Your smile could brighten the darkest places. Your free spirit filled the air and you will remain in my heart forever. I'm hidden behind the pain and tears. My sorrow guides the way I cannot see where I have gone nor where my life shall go. That journey will be painful without you. I pray to God, He will heal my saddest hours, and keep our memories alive..."
"You were more than just my partner, you were my lover, you were my friend, and you were my life. You gave me love, you gave me comfort when I needed it the most and, you gave me a future. You gave me a family with the girls and our precious treasures, our sons." As tears started to flood down Miranda's cheeks, the flashes of the cameras lit the small chapel. "I promise you to love and cherish them as you would have done. I wish you could be here to see them grow and help me in that journey."
"I will miss you forever, and live with the promise we will be together again when the time comes. I love you Andrea, I always have and I always will."
xxxxxxx
-1:58 pm-
In her haze, Miranda could hear a small cry getting louder with the approach of someone. She feels drained and her face was strained with tears.
"Mom, mom … wake up!" Caroline shouted.
"What Caroline?" Miranda asked starting to awake.
Dr. Blake looked worried and was holding a small baby "Miranda, are you alright? Have you been crying?"
Miranda was still trying to focus on the reality around her. As she comes to she shot up from her prone position and looked expectantly at Dr. Blake. "Oh God, where is Andrea?"
Dr. Blake smiled and explained "She's ok. She's in recovery and will come down in a couple of hours."
Miranda started to cry and sob "Oh thank God, Andrea…"
"Andy had minor internal bleeding but we were able to take care of it and she is perfectly fine now. She will be able to have more children in the future." Dr. Blake explained to Miranda.
"Can I go and see her?" Miranda asked eager to see her wife.
"As I said she'll come back into her room in a couple of hours. The nurse will inform you as soon as she's back, ok?"
"Fine. Thank you, Christian. How is the baby?"
"The other baby is in ICU for obvious reasons, but he is fine. It's just a precaution. This little one...," he nodded to the baby in his arms, "seems to want the comfort of his mother," he said as he handed the crying baby to Miranda.
Holding her son for the first time, Miranda couldn't find the will power to hide her obvious relief. It was only a dream or better say, a nightmare. The baby soon quieted down, cuddling into Miranda's chest.
"Two baby boys." Miranda said smiling at the thought of her newly expanded family.
Bending to look at the baby, Cassidy whispered "Oh my god, mom, he is soooo...cute."
"Yes he is, indeed." Miranda nodded smiling at her daughter.
"He has to be fed but Andrea is unable to do it for now, the nurse will bring you a warm bottle so you can feed him." Dr. Blake informed
"Yes of course, how is the other baby?" Asked a concerned Miranda.
"He's fine Miranda", Dr. Blake smiled at Miranda's recurrent question. "You don't have to worry. He didn't suffer any serious injuries. He just needs to stay a few hours in observation."
"When can I go see him?" Miranda couldn't wait to see her other baby boy.
"As soon as 'Sachs-Priestly number one' is fed, you can go and give 'Sachs-Priestly number two' his first bottle as well. It will be good for him to feel his mother's warmth. The nurse will take you there later."
"Christian, are you sure Andrea and..." how she hated the phrase she was about to utter. "Baby number two, I mean my son, are perfectly well?"
"Yes Miranda, everything is fine; you don't have to worry anymore, I promise you." He added giving a reassuring smile.
"Thank you Christian, I don't know what I would do if something had happen to them", she said caressing the baby's cheek.
"Can I hold him?" Cassidy asked looking at her mother and then at Dr. Blake looking for an answer.
"Yes you can. Just be careful with his head." Dr. Blake answered her.
"Mom?"
"Sure baby", Miranda affirmed slowly handing the baby to her.
The baby stirred a little and started to cry again, making Cassidy worry and Caroline make fun of her. She'd take an opening where she could get one.
"You already scare him with your ugly face." Caroline said teasing her sister.
"Should I have to remind you, we are twins?" she replied making Caroline stop immediately.
"It seems he wants his mother Cassidy, he is a little agitated. He needs to get used to his new world!" Dr. Blake said trying to comfort the young girl.
Cassidy handed over the baby, gently, back to Miranda who seems to have a powerful calming effect. How odd that was, she could calm a child but cause the opposite in adults.
"Miranda, people at the nursery would like to know the names of the boys; can you give them to the nurse?" Dr. Blake asked her.
"Well, I would like to talk with Andrea, we haven't really decided, can it wait? We can do with 'Sachs-Priestly number one' and 'Sachs-Priestly number two' for a few hours, isn't it?" Miranda added smiling.
"I already have at least 10 options." Caroline said becoming excited.
"Coming from you, I'm sure you bet with Emily about the names too." Cassidy added with a wicked face.
"Sorry mom." Caroline answered looking guilty as charged.
Dr. Blake smiled at the eyebrow maneuver Miranda directed at her daughter. "Ok my mission here is completed. I have to go see other patients. The nurse will come in a few minutes to assist you with feeding him. Then you can come upstairs to the UCI and meet your other child."
"Thank you very much", Miranda added looking very grateful. She'd have to find a way to repay this man.
"You're welcome and good luck. I will pass by later when Andy comes down to the room." Dr. Blake said before leaving the room.
TBC…