Part 4At two at midday on the seventeenth of December, Sarah fought her way back to consciousness from a very deep sleep. Her eyelids felt heavy, her whole body was aching and numb at the same time. She could hear voices, but they were faint. A wave of panic and disorientation washed over her. Something was wrong and something bad had happened. She needed to find out what was going on and where she was.
When she finally managed to open her eyes, her vision was blurry and a piercing pain shot through her. Sarah struggled through the pain and tried to concentrate on the fuzzy shape that was most likely a face, blinking several times until she was able to focus her vision. It was John, sitting right beside the bed and worry was etched into his features.
"Welcome back," her son said with a relieved smile, squeezing her hand.
The panic subsided immediately; she was at home and her son was safe, that was all that mattered.
Slowly, also the rest of her room became clear. Sarah could make out Derek, standing right behind John, his arms crossed over his chest, looking as grumpy as always.
As for Cameron, the brunette girl was nowhere to be seen. It gave Sarah's heart a small twinge, making her wonder what she had expected of the girl in the first place. To show concern that she was hurt or relief that she was conscious again?
Well, she had to admit to herself that she would have liked it if Cameron displayed some solicitousness. It was disappointing as it had been only a day ago that the terminator had baked cookies for her and had hugged her to comfort her and was now not even in the room to check on her. It confused her.
Sarah had to ask herself for the hundredth time how much of it were real and how much was wishful thinking or simply part of the girl's programming. John had claimed that Cameron had feelings and nonetheless feelings for her, which Sarah had come around to accept after a while. But wouldn't Cameron be here in the room with the boys to watch over her and to wait until she regained consciousness again when those feelings were genuine?
Those thoughts made her feel like she was in an infinite loop, contemplating over the same subject over and over again without making any real progress.
"What…," Sarah started, not wanting to think about Cameron right now, but found her voice raw and weak. She forced herself to finish the question. "What happened?"
John brushed a strand of hair from her face. "You hit your head pretty bad. I don't think it's a concussion, but you were out for a while." He took a glass of water from the nightstand and handed it to her. "How are you feeling?"
Sarah gladly accepted the glass and sat up. "Like I was hit by a truck," she admitted, taking some cautious sips. She heard Derek snort, but ignored it and stayed focused on her son. "I'll be fine."
"Do you remember what happened?" John asked her. He already knew the answer from Cameron; she had told him right away when she had walked in the front door, the seemingly lifeless body of his mother in her arms.
She's dead, John had thought and for a few seconds he felt the world crashing down on him. "John, calm down," Cameron said, obviously picking up on his blood pressure or something like that. "She's alive and she's going to be okay." He could've sworn that he saw how Cameron had pressed Sarah harder against herself; anxiety was clearly visible on her face. The girl knew that she hadn't had to hide her emotions for his mother behind an expressionless mask; he was her confidant and co-conspirator. "She will be fine," the girl repeated as if to assure them both and then she had told him the rest of the story.
Rubbing her forehead Sarah tried to recall the events before she had blacked out. Images were flashing in her mind, too quick to make out anything specific at first. Maybe it would help if she started a little bit earlier, before something didn't go like plan.
"Cameron and I were in an alley, checking out an abandoned building. The address is related to one of the names on the wall." Sarah remembered also how her gaze had constantly drifted downwards when the terminator had walked in front of her, appreciating how nice fitting the jeans and her shirt were. Of course she kept that information to herself.
"And suddenly there was someone on a motorcycle, heading straight for us. There wasn't anything nearby where we could've taken cover," Sarah continued. The shots, which fell afterwards echoed in her head. It all had happened so fast. "I remember pulling out my gun and starting to shoot, but that's about it," she said shrugging helplessly.
"You wanna know why?" Derek asked sulky, joining the conversation. He didn't wait for her reply. "Because that damn machine knocked you out! The truck that hit you was her!" The anger and hate was clearly audible in his voice, it was always there and when Cameron gave him an actual reason to blame her for something, his general irritation with the machines immediately took the opportunity to burst out.
Sarah winced at his loudness, the knocking between her temples increased as well as the worry for the girl. Was Cameron malfunctioning again? Did they remove her chip? She imagined her lying motionless on the ground, her skull cut open. It made her stomach churn. "What are you talking about?!" Cameron wouldn't turn on them again, wouldn't betray her, would she? This just couldn't be happening once more.
Derek started to pace up and down. "I told you before, that that thing is dangerous and that she can't be trusted. She's a liability and we have to avoid any unnecessary and additional risk. We should tear her apart and burn her down." It didn't sound like a suggestion; it was more an order as anything else. He stated it like it was the only logical reaction to the events and as it had already been decided.
"No!" Sarah said forcefully, maybe a little too quick and too definitive. Both Derek and John looked at her taken aback. "Cameron isn't a threat. She could've killed me easily if she wanted to, but I'm not lying dead in an alley. Besides I don't see any bullet wounds on me, do you?" She was grateful that she was able to think a little clearer by now, realizing that Cameron couldn't be malfunctioning, because otherwise she wouldn't be alive. So either Derek was lying, which certainly wouldn't be the first time, only to get rid of the terminator or it wasn't the whole story.
"Don't you see how she has twisted you around her metal fingers?" Derek wanted to know, his voice still raised and aggravated. "I don't get you and you know what? I really don't give a damn anymore. If you wanna trust a terminator blindly and let yourself be infiltrated by her, your call, but when she has another glitch and kills John, you can't say I didn't warn you." Then he stormed out of the room and shortly after that they could hear the slamming of the front door.
Sarah looked at her son, who had kept himself out of the discussion and she wondered why he hadn't defended Cameron, his protector, the only one who was really capable of keeping him safe. "Please tell me you don't agree with him." She felt a bit sad for Derek. His hatred was eating away at him from the inside and it wasn't a future Sarah wished for her son and also not for herself, even though she had been already halfway down that road. This was before Cameron had entered their lives.
"Of course I don't, but there's no point in arguing with him about it. There's nothing that would make him change his mind," John answered, shaking his head. "But I can understand, why he behaves the way he does. He has spent almost his whole life fighting the machines, so I guess it's not easy to suddenly trust one of them."
They fell silent, both lost in thought and trying to imagine what it must be like to fight in a war you couldn't possibly win, always on the verge of starvation, living underground in constant fear and the earth burnt. It was awaiting them too. It would become their own future when they couldn't stop it from happening.
It wasn't long until they heard footsteps coming up the stairs and as soon as Sarah saw Cameron a small smile crept on her lips and she sighed in relief. She had been foolish to picture the terminator deactivated and with her chip removed. They were both alright, which probably wouldn't be the case if Cameron were human.
John had watched the change in his mother's facial expression and turned on the chair to find out what had caused it and shook his head slightly in amusement. It was so obvious how much she was into Cameron and he wondered how she was still able to deny it to herself. "Well, I should get going. I've got a study group in twenty minutes. Cameron can keep you company and will have an eye on you." Even though he tried to keep his face straight, he wasn't completely successful and his delight was also audible.
"When will you be back?" Sarah asked, deciding to not respond to his remark. She watched him stand up and lean over to her to place a kiss on the top of her head.
"I'll be home for dinner and I don't think Derek will come back very soon, so the two of you'll have the house all to yourselves for at least five hours," John whispered the last part conspiratorial while he was still close to her and said then somewhat louder: "Should I bring some Chinese take-away with me?"
"Sure," was all Sarah was able to reply, too stunned by his suggestive tone and still too woozy to come up with something smart or sarcastic to retort. Why did he enjoy it so much to banter her about Cameron?
John winked at her and walked out of the room calling over his shoulder: "See you later, Mom."
"Yeah, later! Be careful," she called after him, her eyes on Cameron, who hadn't entered the room and stood on the doorsill rigidly. Usually the girl didn't show such a reservation when it came to privacy. It was weird. "Why don't you come in?"
Cameron thought of answering, but dismissed it, interpreting the question as an invitation. Besides, she had her reasons, why she hadn't entered Sarah's room without permission; she just would prefer the other woman to not knowing them.
When she walked across the room, the girl kept her gaze straight forward without glancing at Sarah for once. "I have brought you some painkillers," she said uninflected, placing a bottle of pills on the nightstand and turning away almost instantly to leave the room again. The ache, which she was experiencing since the incident in the alley, had gotten worse since she had entered the room and was highly unpleasant.
The impulse to reach out and grab Cameron's wrist to keep her from leaving tugged at Sarah. "Wait."
It was strange how unaffected Derek's words had left her, well not in the way they probably should have affected her. He had told her that the terminator was the cause of her pain, reminding her about how dangerous Cameron really was, what incredible strength lay hidden in her petite body.
But Sarah wanted to trust her, needed to trust her to keep going on with all of this. And something inside her just knew that Derek was toying with truth, trying to influence her and she wouldn't let that happen. She had a mind of her own and she certainly didn't need anyone to tell her what she should do. And furthermore Cameron had shown that there was more to her than just her programming and John wouldn't have left her alone with the girl when he wouldn't be sure that she was safe with her.
"Tell me what happened," Sarah said, looking at her hand with a puzzled expression. She had actually reached out to Cameron, but her fingers were hovering in the air an inch away from the terminator's skin. Cameron stood motionless, whether proceeding neither turning back. "In the alley," the raven-haired woman clarified. "Please. I have to know."
"Derek Reese already told you," the terminator retorted, still not looking at Sarah. The guilt about the events in the alley was getting worse the longer she stayed, it was stretching across her chest. Though she could easily block them out by activating the emotional suppressor, she didn't do it, because the girl knew that she deserved to feel guilty.
"What I meant was that I want to know your side of the story," Sarah said, not letting Cameron drop the issue. So was it true what Derek had told her or did the terminator prefer to leave it at that?
There was an odd pause, in which Cameron seemed to consider her options, before she finally looked at the other woman, not understanding why Sarah wanted to hear her version of the events when Derek Reese had used the opportunity to tell her first.
Sarah pointed with a nod of her head at the chair. "Take a seat." The girl followed her order and Sarah was able to look at her directly at last. Something in Cameron's eyes wasn't quite right, they were different somehow and it took the raven-haired woman a minute to identify it. Was that actually sorrow she saw in them? "How did I get hurt?"
"Derek Reese is right. It was my fault that you did get hurt," Cameron replied and despite the sad expression in her eyes, her face was blank and she was sitting bolt upright, her hands folded neatly in her lap. "I'm sorry."
Yesterday Cameron had also evaded Sarah's questions as to avoid causing her any further emotional pain. Today she evaded answering as to avoid making herself vulnerable by letting the other woman know what effect she had on her. John had assured her that she had only reacted humanly in the alley and that it was understandable, but Cameron herself didn't understand it. She had failed.
Now Sarah was sure that something definitely wasn't alright with the girl. Terminator's answered questions always immediately and honestly unless they were programmed differently. Especially Cameron answered sometimes too frankly. "How was it your fault?" the raven-haired woman pressed ahead with the subject. The rare opportunities in which the girl evaded answering questions, it still only took very little to get her to answer.
Cameron blinked and she had a far-away expression on her face when she was processing something or replayed a file from her memory bank, but when she spoke her voice wasn't distant any longer. "When the motorcycle came closer and the shooting started I calculated the paths of the bullets. Those of the attacker would've hit you and they would've been fatal. The possibility that you'd die was 99.9 %."
The girl paused briefly before she continued, her fingers twitching. "I pushed you out of the way and operated as a cover for you. But I used too much strength. You crashed into a wall and hit your head, what resulted in immediate unconsciousness." She only stated the facts and hid the emotions, which were lying behind it. Fear had been one of them. The fear for Sarah, of getting killed and that she couldn't protect her.
Sarah took a slow, deep breath. So it really had been Cameron who had hurt her. If the girl were human it would have been easy to say that it was unintentionally, an accident. It didn't apply for a terminator though. The machines worked precisely and Cameron should have calculated the exact pressure she could use at most to push her out of the way without smashing her into a wall. "I see," Sarah breathed out, resuming rubbing her temples. She needed time to think this through; all those pieces weren't falling into place yet.
After a few moments Cameron realized that this was all Sarah was going to say and that their conversation was over. She hadn't told the other woman everything, her story wasn't finished, but Sarah seemed to have enough to think about for now. "You should rest," the terminator said resolutely, getting up and walking across the room. Again she hesitated briefly on the doorsill. "I really didn't intend to hurt you. I was worried about not being quick enough and I only wanted to get you out of the line of fire."