Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Batman the animated series, Batman, Teen Titans, etc

Note: (for the benefit of those who do not know certain things)

Robin's real name Is Richard (Dick) Grayson, he's about 4 years younger (in this fic he's 19) than Batgirl, Barbara Gordon, he sometimes calls her Babs for short.

In this fic the other Titans do not know that Robin is Richard Grayson and any part of his past, except what they heard from news (such as: he works with Batman, Boy wonder...etc)

Okay? If there's any more questions don't hesitate to ask.

The Titans looked at each other.

Cyborg shrugged. "We wanted some answers."

"You can't get rid of us that easily!" Beastboy bursted.

Robin staged a laugh. It was short. No one else laughed. "You thought I was trying to get rid of you?"

"Well, you suddenly want out, what else does that mean?" Raven said matter of factly.

Robin crossed his arms and shook his head. "No, I just had something I had to do all of a sudden that's all…and...In fact it was Batgirl who called for me."

"I did?"

Robin nodded. Go with it. he moved his head to face her. That look. she knew it.

"O-oh…I-I did, yeah. Sure."

"Oh yeah? " Beastboy.

"Yeah, Batman's out of town, and…she needed back up. That's it." Robin concluded dismissively. The rest of the Titans totally bought it; the weights of worry in their hearts were lifted. Starfire's sadness quickly faded away. But only Batgirl noticed how wrong his tone was. He was lying to them. And he made her lie to them as well. But she just smiled like an idiot, probably giving them the impression that she wasn't really in the conversation and that she was just an extra. She stepped back a bit, letting it all in, their faces. Analyzing. There was this big guy, half human half robot, and most of his metallic robot parts glowed blue, there was an odd short green boy, it was obvious that he wasn't the serious one, a girl that gave of a dark misty aura, she wore a cloak, and underneath, something that looked like a purple bathing suit. And the last girl looked too good to be true. She looked like a princess. Batgirl's smile faded slowly into a frown. So that's her…

Boy, Robin's got some guts at her, she's way past Miss Universe, and she looked out of this world drop dead gorgeous! And Batgirl was overwhelmed with self pity and jealousy. She floated about an inch off the ground, which she seemed to have done so gracefully,

Her hair was beyond salon comparison, her facial features seemed like it was carved by a genius artist, and every bit of her seemed perfect. Though her speech seemed odd, and quite alien. Looking at her and how she looked at Robin made her heart sink. She felt as if she can't fight. She felt obliged to give him up to her, since she seems more rightful, no matter how long she was friends with Robin, and even if she was first. It was an odd feeling. It was depressing. She never really gave up on anything before, but right then, she felt out of place. I don't belong here.

She walked out, soundless. She was Batgirl; she had to be a master of stealth as well. So she was out of there, without any of the other Titans noticing. They were all too indulged with their conversation. So happy. She felt even more horrible. Now she even lost her title as his best friend. She heard laughter. She can't relate, and she never can. She knew this was bound to happen, it wouldn't take long before he realizes that they can no longer really understand each other, and he'd stop even trying to communicate with her, by the end of this he'd be back in that stupid city, in that stupid tower, with his stupid friends and stupid girlfriend!

She felt bad. This is not Batgirl anymore. Batgirl was strong, witty; graceful…this was Barbara Gordon, weakly and pathetically crying over spilled milk. This was the past; she should have gotten over it. But she didn't, she waited, and expected that he'd be back, and she'd be back in his arms or whatever. But what did she expect? Their relationship was a joke, a game, never to be taken seriously. He's changed, she changed. They can never even be together to begin with, right from the start. she's like a 4 years older than him, what would he see in old dull girl like her? Seeing princess over there made her loose all her self confidence that she built up throughout the years of being Batgirl. It was stupid. The stupidest thing of all was falling in love with Robin…no, not Robin…Dick Grayson.

Robin tried not to suddenly jump and run after Batgirl, being the only one who noticed her absence. Even Raven didn't notice she was too busy being annoyed at Beastboy. He considered this, but then maybe she had better things to do than hang out with him and his

Friends. Starfire came over and started talking delightedly about how they got there, and how Beastboy made a remark about Gotham's grim features. He smiled. Honestly. She was sweet, nice and amazing. And very pretty, she helped him out tons of times, she was an extraordinary girl…so what's wrong?

Even he wasn't sure. What he said was a lie, and he'd have to thank Batgirl for backing him up back there. There was a reason for going here. He didn't even tell her that…yet. He had no idea how to explain himself. And it didn't help that Starfire and the others came after him, he needed peace, some time to think…some time alone with… but they're here now, he made the lie, he can't get rid of them that easily, and if they leave, they'd want to drag him back with them. They don't understand.

"Oh, Robin I missed you." Starfire hugged him tight. He hugged back after a moment, staring out, blankly, thinking…

Robin…

That's the me you know…

That's who you love…

But…

Does Robin really exist?

He's just a name, a mask, a costume I put on to hide myself from those who could harm me and those I love. How could you love him? I know it's my fault for not being open enough…but it's getting too complicated.

(Flashback)

"I love you Robin, do you love me too?" Starfire said while she felt comfortable leaning on his chest while they sat on top of Titan Tower watching the sunset. He had no idea where the hell that came from, but it came and it hit him right in the face. He felt suddenly uneasy, like he wanted to shove her off of him, but that would be wrong, rude and would hurt her feelings. She was silent, expectant. She waited. Why couldn't he answer her? Didn't he love her too? Of course he did…but…so what's the problem? It's just a stupid phrase, just say it! He felt his eyebrows knot in frustration. I love you…that's just a tongue roll away, go ahead, say it. It's no battle field; it's not Slade, what's keeping you? say it!

But…

But what?

There's…

Something bothered him. He couldn't respond. Something was holding him back. or rather something made him hold back. but he wanted to tell her…how she meant to him, how special she was, how lucky he was to have her, but…love?

She couldn't wait any longer, it was getting to awkward, and the sun was hardly even there anymore. She wriggled lose, she had tearstained eyes. She ran off.

_! Robin swore under his breathe. He kicked nothing in particular. Wanting to beat himself up.

(-)

No. she doesn't know…me.

Cyborg patted him on the back. "Well, it's good to see your doin'fine."

"It's getting late." Raven announced. "We should leave."

"Aw. But I wanted to go look around!" Beastboy said.

"This ain't your House Bb. Cyborg said. you think we can make it back in time before dark?" Cyborg asked Raven, who shrugged.

"There's a hotel downtown, you guys can stay there." Robin suggested. Since they can't stay here. I would've let them..but my secret won't be so safe with them around.

Barbara Gordon sat on Dick Grayson's old bed, staring out into space. It was made, and looked as if it hadn't been noticed for years. She wondered if he slept at all the previous night. On his side drawer was a picture frame, a picture of his parents…another had him and Bruce, and…the two of them showing off goofy smiles. She smiled, fighting off tears threatening to escape her eyes.

Everything was so easy back then, they were like kids in their playground, having fun, kidding around…when did it get so complicated? So painful?

Too late, the tears ran down, and she let them. She wasn't going to hold back anymore, she sobbed. It hurt. It was so seriously horrible. Barbara Gordon, she can't cry, the Dick Grayson she knows would laugh at her, he'd call her a wimp, she'd have to protest. Her heart felt empty…as if sinking down into nothing…cold...

"There you are? Waiting for Alfred to read you a Bedtime story?"

She sat up quickly. She hadn't realized that she was curled up, lying on his bed. how embarrassing, and worse her face was flushed, and her eyes were probably red. She felt stupid.

Dick Grayson without the mask, still in the suit stood by the doorway. His smile faded, seeing her face like that. He quickly walked over to her. Reached out both hands to touch her face. "Babs, what's wrong?"

She shook her head. No…

"I'm fine." She choked.

"Doesn't seem like it."

"I am."

"Well, whatever, if you're gonna be a wimp, might as well give me the whole back story, y'know so I could-"she cried again. Burying her face in his arms, leaving wet tearstains on his costume. She was letting it all out…letting the tears of pain and longing all out…she couldn't stop. It was too late.

Yaha! I think that was the longest chapter I've ever made, some questions were answered, and new ones are made. (*cue background music DUNDUNDUN!*)