Angel of Mercy
As much as Lucifer loved the massive impenetrable rainforest, it was not an ideal place to take care of a child. For one thing, almost everything Natalie found colorful and attractive was poisonous. More importantly, she was under the constant threat of predators because of her small stature and inability to defend herself without him. The fact that she loved the things that kept trying to eat her wasn't helping matters either.
Even under his watchful eye, Natalie had a habit of wandering off and getting lost, leaving him in a constant state of paranoia. Lucifer was determined to change things when they moved on to another section of the Garden. After pestering his brother relentlessly, Michael granted his request and sectioned off a part of the Garden for her to explore without the inherent dangers present elsewhere in the area.
This particular section of the Garden was steeped in flowers of all kinds. Lucifer liked flowers. Most of them were harmless while being equally bright and attractive. A quality that he'd learned to appreciate the longer he stayed with Natalie. Michael had given him a list of flowers in the area, partly to reassure him that he didn't have anything to worry about and to subtly ask him to keep track of how they were fairing.
When Natalie brought him a flower, he would tell her the name, and she would learn it immediately. At first, he'd been impressed, but the more he thought about it, the more it became increasingly obvious that she was mispronouncing his name on purpose.
"I call bullshit on you being able to say chrysanthemums but not Lucifer," he said sourly. This was his own fault for tolerating it for so long.
Natalie gave him a mischievous smile and said, "Bullshit."
Crap, of course, she'd pick that up right away. Doing his best to keep a straight face, he considered his options. Okay, Lucifer, don't make a big deal about the stupid word or she'll keep using it to spite you. Lucifer was sure that was the real reason she kept running off on him. She only ever did that after he'd ignored her for a particularly long time or if he'd yelled at her for doing something dangerous.
"If Michael asks, I didn't teach you that," Lucifer said. Tilting her head to the side, she gave him a curious look. This was the first time he'd asked her to lie.
"Why?" she asked, using the most annoying word she'd learned so far.
"He doesn't like that word," Lucifer explained.
Before she would have accepted that and did what she was told, unfortunately, the more she learned the more she questioned him and his previously absolute authority over her and what she did.
"Why?" Natalie continued. He could tell by her grin that she was messing with him.
"It's a bad word," Lucifer grumbled reluctantly, unwilling to explain the concept of cow manure right now.
"Then, why did you say it?" she asked.
He'd found the word funny at the time, not so much now. If Michael found out, he'd skin him alive. His brother was rarely angry with him, but when he was, it never ended well.
"How about you drop it or I'll feed you to the medic angels," Lucifer said, making a move to snatch her.
Natalie dodged and proceeded to run around like a maniac while screaming at the top of her lungs through a field of pastel purple flowers. As grating as the sound was, he didn't have the heart to shut her up. This place was hers. He was just along for the ride. That didn't mean he wasn't going to scare the sass out of her.
"Come here, you little brat," he shouted, chasing after her.
She giggled, not taking him seriously in the slightest. He went easy on her, letting the game last longer than it otherwise would have. She would occasionally look back to see if he was still following her. He would make a show of running even faster in these instances, making her panic and scramble to get away before she got caught.
Getting bored of the chase, he was about to grab her and end it when Zadkiel flew down in front of them. Natalie stopped in her tracks as her path was blocked by his mighty merciless sister. Instinctively, he picked her up, annoyed when the girl kept staring at her in awe. She wasn't that great.
"So, this one's yours. She's a cutie, " Zadkiel said, daring to grab a few strands of Natalie's hair and rub it between her fingers as if she were admiring a particularly fine piece of cloth.
"This one?" Lucifer said, catching what she was implying. Zadkiel gave him a playful smile.
"Father plans to make more right? I'm sure he would have already except-" Zadkiel trailed off.
"What? " Lucifer growled.
"You don't like them, and he's handling you with kid gloves for some reason, " Zadkiel said, puffing her cheeks.
"Why do you care? " Lucifer asked. His sister was a warrior. Her sudden interest in child care was disquieting to say the least.
"Father has been acting strange as of late. Rumor has it that he left because of you. Are the rumors true?" Zadkiel asked, watching for any weakness as she'd been trained to do. She smiled pleasantly when he flinched.
"Buzz off, Zadkiel. I'm not going to tell you anything, " Lucifer said, flashing his teeth at her. Whatever she was up to, it couldn't be good, hanging out with Zadkiel was only fun if you weren't the target.
"Buzz off?" Zadkiel asked, for once looking uncertain.
"I want you to go away, like the annoying insects that keep buzzing around my face," Lucifer explained.
Zadkiel laughed, covering her mouth as if he'd told her a particularly juicy piece of gossip.
"Oh my, you really like earth. Don't you?" she asked knowingly.
Lucifer stiffened, unsure what to make of the comment. Why did everyone keep telling him that?
"What makes you say that?" he asked.
"You're here all the time now to the point where we haven't seen you in weeks. It's even affecting the way you speak, " Zadkiel said.
Nothing she said was untrue, and yet he still felt the need to justify himself.
"You've got me all wrong. I'm just stuck here because of this brat, " Lucifer said, holding her up for emphasis.
Natalie let out a high pitched whine, having become aware over time that brat was not a term of endearment. Zadkiel chuckled as her eyes glowed in obvious mirth. And yet, the look still came across as predatory.
"If that's the case, I can take her off your hands if you'd like," Zadkiel said, removing the dried flowers from Natalie's tangled hair with tender care. The kind he was rarely capable of showing.
Lucifer didn't say no right away, despite the sudden angry paranoia surging through him. He would not let his warring soul make his decisions for him.
"May I?" Zadkiel asked, placing her hands around Natalie's waist, waiting for Lucifer to let go. He tightened his grip on her as she began to squirm, ready and willing to launch herself into his sister's arms. She'd always been a horrible judge of character.
"Just for a little while," Lucifer said, reluctantly releasing Natalie. It wouldn't hurt to have an idea of Zadkiel's child rearing skills if he ever did decide to get rid of her.
Zadkiel effortlessly carried Natalie without a hint of discomfort or uncertainty, using her left hip as leverage as she secured her by the waist with only one arm. She was annoyingly good at this.
"You poor thing, your hair is an absolute mess. Is that a dead bug? Ew. I suppose the boys wouldn't know how fix it," Zadkiel said, combing her fingers through Natalie's hair, carefully untangling it with far more patience than he'd ever have managed for the stupid repetitive task.
Lucifer gnashed his teeth and said nothing, unsure why Zadkiel's jibes actually managed to pierce through his tough exterior for once. He didn't care what Zad thought of him. So what if he didn't think to fix Natalie's stupid hair? She was alive wasn't she? Why did he suddenly feel so utterly inadequate?
He watched as Zadkiel set her down, murmuring for Natalie to hold still a moment for a surprise. The girl eagerly did as she was told, even closing her eyes. Zadkiel separated Natalie's hair into three sections and began to twist them together into a braid. When she finished, Zadkiel gathered pink peony flowers and expertly weaved them into a flower crown for her, placing it on top of her head. Easily pleased, Natalie let out a happy squeal, running to show him her new toy. Still bitter, he did his best to muster some enthusiasm.
"You look great, kid," Lucifer said, resisting the urge to take the flower crown and chuck it into the stream. Michael had been nagging him to be more supportive so he'd hold his tongue for now.
"Make one for Luci," Natalie suggested, clapping her hands excitedly. He instantly regretted showing any interest in the stupid flower crown.
"I have a better idea. How about I show 'Luci' how to make them?" Zadkiel asked, using air quotes around his unfortunate nickname.
"Yes, let's make Luci look pretty," Natalie said, before covering her mouth as she accidentally broke her promise. Zadkiel laughed, gently removing Natalie's hands from her mouth and stroking her hair in an effort to calm her.
"I suppose 'Luci' is quite the pretty bird, huh?" Zadkiel asked, looking at him smugly, perfectly aware that their little chit chat would have devolved into a brawl by now without the girl to hold him back. Even so, he only had so much patience.
"That's it. Leave before I make you," Lucifer said, purposely placing himself between her and Natalie. Eyes flashing dangerously. For most angels that wouldn't have been enough to scare them off, but Zadkiel would not be so easily intimidated. There was a reason she was put in charge of the deadliest missions.
"If you insist, I guess I'll just come down here next time she wants one," Zadkiel said with a shrug, making a move to get up. Natalie grabbed her hand.
"No, don't go," Natalie whined, dramatically falling to the ground. Zadkiel's eyes widened, caught off guard, before covering her confusion with a melodic laugh.
"Look at that, I guess she doesn't want me to go," Zadkiel said, sitting back down.
Lucifer shot Natalie a look. She just grinned sheepishly, not sorry in the slightest.
"Fine, show me how to do it," he grumbled, aware he was playing right into her hands. Even so, he refused to give her an opening to return. Zadkiel had to have an ulterior motive for dropping by. She'd shown far too much interest in the girl for him to tolerate her presence any longer than he had to.
The process was simple enough, all you really had to do was pick out some flowers with flexible stems and cut or trim away the unnecessary parts and braid them together. Zadkiel also used a fair bit of magic to keep the crown from falling apart in places but the same could be accomplished with bits of metal or string. He'd ask around and acquire some, if only so he'd be prepared when Natalie inevitably wanted to make her own down the line. When Zadkiel finished, she gently placed the crown on his head.
"There, now he's perfect," Zadkiel said, smirking at him as she patted his cheek, taking full advantage of the fact that he was all bark and no bite when the girl was involved.
"We're pretty," Natalie said, jumping into his arms before he had a chance to come up with an appropriately sarcastic response.
As he looked her over, he had to admit that Zadkiel's simple tricks had worked wonders. Perhaps, he could put a bit more effort into making her presentable. Her long thin hair wasn't optimized for living in the wild like this.
"You always look pretty," Lucifer assured her, kissing her forehead. Natalie beamed at him, immediately pecking him on the cheek in return.
"How sweet, who knew you were capable of actually showing affection?" Zadkiel asked, twirling a stolen flower between her fingers as she watched him, a smug smile on her lips. Lucifer scowled, more than ready to kick her out of the Garden.
" Get out of here," Lucifer said in what he thought was a fairly intimidating tone. She laughed and made herself comfortable, daring to leave herself exposed as she lay peacefully in the grass.
"I will in a moment. Do you mind if I ask the girl a few questions?" Zadkiel asked, playing nice. He sighed, not seeing the harm in it. There wasn't much else the girl could do to embarrass him at this point.
"Go ahead," Lucifer said, letting the girl run over to Zad.
"What's your favorite color?" she asked. He raised an eyebrow. It's not the kind of question he'd been expecting her to ask. She paid him no mind, studying the girl closely.
"Orange," Natalie said without a second thought. He wouldn't have guessed that from the few weeks he'd spent with her. Considering the way she fawned over his wings, he found himself disappointed.
Lucifer would have almost preferred for her to have said blue. That was Michael's signature color. And despite his tendency to neglect her for long periods of time, he was caring and thoughtful in ways that Lucifer never would be. Instead, somewhere along the way she had developed a fondness for the color orange and he'd missed it.
Then again, he could be reading too much into her response. If he asked her again in a few hours, she'd probably name half a dozen other colors instead.
"What about your favorite food?" Zadkiel asked casually, gesturing for her to lay down beside her. Natalie flung herself onto the ground, lying flat on her stomach and kicking her feet in the air gleefully.
"Mangoes," Natalie said. That made sense, she always asked for mangoes when he went to gather food. He'd be sure to keep bringing her mangoes, even if he had to go out of his way to get them.
"Hmm, interesting," Zadkiel said, glancing at Lucifer for some reason.
"Not really," he said, feigning disinterest, all while making careful note of her answers like the hypocrite he was.
"What do you like to do for fun?" Zadkiel asked.
"Play with Luci, sing, draw, you know fun stuff," Natalie said. He'd never seen her draw anything, but then, he remembered he'd left her drawing supplies with Michael. Lucifer would retrieve them for her when he had the chance.
"Now, tell me. Why do you like Luci here? Between you and me, he's kind of mean," Zadkiel asked. Lucifer rolled his eyes as her motives became clearer. She was just looking for another way to get under his skin.
"Luci's not mean. He loves me more than anything," Natalie said with startling confidence. Overall, their interactions had been a mixed blessing at best.
"Oh really? What makes you say that?" Zadkiel asked. He found himself leaning forward subtly in anticipation of her answer. Why did this little human think so highly of him?
"I just know," Natalie said with a shrug. He was unsatisfied with her answer and decided to provoke her a little, if only to tease her a bit.
"What if I just gave you to Zadkiel? Would you still think I love you?" he asked.
"You won't," Natalie said, smiling secretively as if she knew him better than he knew himself. He scoffed and rolled his eyes. She was way too cocky. He made the decision on impulse.
"Zad, you can have her," Lucifer said, turning around and walking away. He ignored the way his soul burned in protest. Lucifer wouldn't go through with the exchange so his stupid soul could suck it up and stop interfering.
"Great, we'll start by giving you a bath. You're filthy," Zadkiel said, scooping her up.
As reality hit her, Natalie panicked, practically screaming her head off as she struggled to get out of Zadkiel's grip. His sister was far too competent to actually let her escape. He could easily fly away and never have to see her again. Part of him wanted to free himself of the suffocating responsibility of caring for her, he wasn't good at it anyway. She'd be better off with Zadkiel.
"Lucifer please," Natalie said. He stopped in his tracks. Heart beating savagely.
"What did you just call me?" Lucifer said, still not quite believing what he was hearing. After all this time, it was dirty trick to pull. He hated that he was falling for it.
"Lucifer," Natalie said. He turned around and instantly regretted making eye contact as he found himself staring into her big watery eyes. She desperately reached out for him, and he found himself sprinting to catch up as they headed toward the nearby pond.
"Wait, I changed my mind. I want to keep her," Lucifer said, grabbing Zadkiel's shoulder. Any other time, she might have broken his arm for daring to touch her, but she humored him and returned Natalie without any prompting. Natalie clung to him, trembling all over as she let loose tiny broken sobs.
"What a shame and here I thought you'd give her up without a second thought. You really are a softie after all," Zadkiel said, an egotistical smirk on her lips.
"Just get out of here," Lucifer muttered, far too preoccupied trying to console Natalie to take the insult personally. Perfectly accommodating now that she had nothing to gain, she called forth her wings and spared him one last glance.
"Very well, I'd still give her a quick rinse if I were you. Dirt sticks to humans," Zadkiel said. Before he had a chance to ask how she could possibly know that, she took off, leaving him with a sinking feeling. He needed to act quickly.
"I'm leaving you with Michael for a little while. I'll come back for you later," Lucifer said, willfully ignoring her distracting sobbing. Michael would be better at comforting her anyway.
"No" Natalie shouted, practically clawing at his neck to stay close to him. No longer confident he would come back for her. He only had himself to blame, and yet, he couldn't stop the frustration from seeping into his voice.
"What do you mean no? I'm in charge, and I'm leaving you with Michael. That's final," Lucifer said, prying her loose. She was just a child. He was stronger and smarter in every way, and he would not let this girl control his life.
"No," Natalie yelled, still blubbering pathetically. He felt his resolve weaken, but with everything at stake, he didn't have time to pretend he had any nurturing instincts that could possibly improve the situation.
"I need to see Gabriel. Stop being difficult," Lucifer said, gritting his teeth as every shaking breath reminded him what horrible guardian he was.
"Why?" Natalie asked softly. If the rumors were true, Gabriel was still in contact with Father. He needed to know if his suspicions were correct.
"I need to ask him something," Lucifer said, keeping his answer vague. The last thing he needed was her to freak out on him again.
"Why?" Natalie asked again, starting the insufferable chain of questions that always left him wondering why he did anything at all.
"It's important," Lucifer said, stubbornly avoiding the subject. She wasn't the human he was concerned about at the moment.
"Why?" Natalie asked. No longer crying uncontrollably as her curiosity got the best of her.
Giving up, he slumped against a tree and put her down, deciding it was better to address the problem now than have her bring it up in front of one of the other angels later. Absently stroking her back, he picked his words carefully.
"I think there might be someone new around. We want them to go away before they cause trouble," Lucifer said, twisting the truth a bit. He'd rather she didn't meet this new human. That would complicate matters.
"But, new people are just new friends you haven't met yet," Natalie said, resistant to his line of thinking thanks to Michael's obvious influence.
"Look kid, that's just not true. I need to fix this before it's too late," Lucifer said. If he let this new human run free, Father was bound to introduce more sooner or later. One was enough.
"Why? If you just give people a chance, maybe-" Natalie said, annoyingly defiant. He missed the days when she would just do what she was told.
"I hate humans. Stop trying to change my mind," Lucifer snapped, instantly regretting the way he phrased that. He berated himself, thinking I don't like humans, except you. You are always the exception.
"So, you don't like me," Natalie said, getting the wrong idea.
"I never said that," Lucifer said with a scowl, holding onto her more tightly.
"But I'm human," Natalie insisted, already tearing up.
"That doesn't matter," Lucifer said. She should now by now how he felt. He shouldn't have to say anything.
"Why?" Natalie asked. Her high pitched saccharine voice barely audible as she trembled in his arms.
"Because you're my Natalie," Lucifer said, feeling the warmth rush to his cheeks as he spit out the words. He hated how his heart battered against his rib cage, desperate to escape. He felt so exposed. She was nothing. So, why? Why did she mean everything?
"And, you're my angel," Natalie murmured, triggering a ghost of a memory.
Unbidden, sensations of a place long since lost to time, hit him. He could practically taste the salty air and feel the grainy sand give way to the cool touch of the ocean as the gentle waves reached his feet. For a moment, he could picture it, and he found himself breathless. She was there as tall and beautiful as any angel. The setting sun bathing her in a heavenly light.
"I'm scared of Hell. But I have faith that you'll save me," She said.
Immediately, he realized that he hadn't, tainting the memory. Lucifer didn't register he was crying until he felt a teardrop fall onto his hand. So, this is why he couldn't give up the girl. He'd failed her once, and some part of him couldn't bare the thought of losing her again.
"Why are you sad?" Natalie asked, patting his cheek to get his attention. He blinked disoriented as he snapped back into reality.
" I don't know anymore," Lucifer said, pinching the bridge of his nose, willingly the feelings to fade. What even was Hell? Why did it fill him with such insurmountable dread?
" I'll help you. Come with me," Natalie said, taking hold of his arm and gently pulling him forward. He indulged her, getting up and faithfully following along without complaint.
"Heh, where are you taking me kid?" Lucifer asked, amused by the grim determination on her face.
"The pond. Michael says, you need to wash your face and take deep breaths when you're sad," Natalie said.
"Of course, he does," Lucifer said, unable to hide the irritation in his voice. Leave it to Michael to actually give her good advice. All he ever seemed to do was make her cry or almost get her killed on a daily basis. That seemed to be true no matter what reality he was living in.
Taking a deep breath, Lucifer splashed water on his face. The cold water was a pleasant distraction from the sudden intense emotion surging through him. He splashed even more water on his face, attempting to rub it into his skin and purge the crippling shame from his body. How long until he failed this little girl?
"Do you feel better?" Natalie asked, a small frown forming on her lips as she tugged at his robe. He stopped scrubbing, realizing that his sudden frantic need to cleanse himself of sin was upsetting her.
"Not really," Lucifer said, sighing as he looked at his reflection in the water. What even was sin? He had such a headache. He rubbed his temple, deciding it would better to reflect on what little he'd learned later when the girl wasn't with him.
"It's okay. Michael says it's because you bottle up your feelings," Natalie said, smiling brightly, not quite comprehending what she'd just told him.
"And, why would Michael tell you this?" Lucifer asked, extremely vexed, blood practically boiling. Wasn't it enough he was doing his best to appear competent in front of the girl when he was taking care of her? Why would Michael undermine him like this?
"He was explaining why you're mean sometimes. He says you have trouble expressing yourself so you lash out," Natalie said, again repeating what Michael said without quite grasping the meaning behind the words. He sighed, annoyed as the anger ebbed away. Michael was just trying to prepare her for his inevitable temper tantrums. The shame returned ten fold.
"What? Why are you looking at me weird?" Natalie asked. She wouldn't understand, even if he explained. He made up an excuse. Doing his best to force a smile, he ruffled her hair, causing a few strands to escape her carefully constructed braid.
"It's scary how fast you're growing. A few weeks ago, you were barely able to say anything," Lucifer said, slightly guilty. No matter what he did, Natalie kept remembering random bits of her past. Even when he erased the memories, the knowledge itself wasn't really lost, just buried, causing her to mentally age at a significantly faster rate than her tiny body could ever manage.
"Michael says, I'm a smart cookie," Natalie said, beaming at him. He let himself relax at the sight. She was still a child for now. Lucifer would try to keep it that way, at least for a little while longer.
"Yeah, he's right about that much, " Lucifer said, lifting her up and materializing his wings in one swift motion. The trip wouldn't take long. Michael was working in a nearby forest with Gabriel. Natalie began to pout as she realized what was happening.
"Do I have to go? I want to stay with you," Natalie asked, encircling his neck with practiced urgency. Her bottom lip quivering in a calculated move to guilt trip him into keeping her for a few more hours. As always, the temptation to give in to her demands was hard to resist, but Zadkiel could cause a lot of trouble in a few hours.
"I'll come back for you," Lucifer promised. Lately, this was all he needed to say to reassure her that he'd be back. Unfortunately, he'd ruined that with the stunt he'd pulled earlier. She practically had a vice grip around his neck.
"But-" Natalie said. Eyes widening in fear, clearly convinced he wouldn't return if she let him go.
"You're my Natalie. I'm just letting Michael borrow you for a while. We don't want him to get jealous," Lucifer said, aware that Natalie already knew Michael desperately wanted to be the favorite.
Unfortunately, Natalie was already adept at manipulating Michael into getting her anything she wanted. Once, he'd found her playing with a spear unsupervised. When he'd confronted Michael about it, he tried to pin the blame on Natalie, saying she told him that Lucifer let her play with weapons all the time. After several screaming matches and one or two brawls, Lucifer had given up trying to teach Michael not to take what Natalie said at face value. If he had something to gain, his brother was more than willing to overlook common sense.
"Yeah, he's really insecure," Natalie whispered as if this was a closely guarded secret. He choked back his laughter.
"Where did you hear that?" Lucifer asked. She'd definitely overhead one of the other angels saying that, most likely on one of the rare occasions Michael pawned her off on someone else besides him. No way, they'd tell her something like that while Michael was in earshot.
"Gabe," Natalie said. Lucifer couldn't say he was surprised.