I woke up the next morning feeling as if I had been in a fight with a brick wall and the brick wall had won. I ached all over - my throat, my head, my stomach, my legs. Mom came in to wake me up at around half eight, with a breakfast tray. She had woken me up on my birthdays every year I could remember like that, and it made my eyes prickle with tears all over again.
"Are you OK, sweetie?" she asked, setting the tray down next to my bed and pulling my curtains open. The sun streamed down onto my face; a harsh reminder of the power my little electric mouse contained.
"No," I said.
"I know," she said softly, and I knew she had been hoping desperately I would be alright. "I phoned the Professor; you don't have to go into work today."
"Thanks Mom," I said quietly, and picked up the tray. Mom left the room, and I looked down at the food.
She had made my favourites - bacon, eggs, tomatoes, hash browns, orange juice.
I speared a tomato on my fork and twirled it around. The red reminded me of Pikachu's cheeks. I tried the orange juice - a reminder of a Raichu, what Pikachu had comtemplated becoming many times. Bacon - the pale pattern was the exact shape of Pikachu's tail. Hash browns - its favourite breakfast treat. I was left with the eggs. I ate them, and then looked at all the rest.
"Mom," I called. She came into my room quickly - evidently she had been waiting outside. "Can you take my tray?"
"Oh, Ash," she said, tutting. "You haven't eaten much."
"I know," I said, hanging my head. "I can't."

I thought about my other Pokemon. I had released all of my original 'team', and now only owned a Cherrim, who helped with my berry collecting. I fumbled about in my jacket pocket and withdrew the Poke-Ball. I threw it lazily into the corner of my room, and Cherrim hopped up beside me on the bed. "Chrim," it chirrupped.
"Hey," I said wearily, getting out of bed and dressing.
Cherrim watched me for a while, then hopped over to my bedside table and nudged aside one of the Pokemon action figures the 8-year-old me had put there.

Once I was dressed, I headed downstairs with Cherrim at my heels.
"Hey honey," Mom said, carrying a watering can out to the garden. She was closely followed by Mr Mime, who was carrying some plant pots and a shovel. Cherrim chirped excitedly and hurried after them.
"Alone again," I muttered, self-indulgently. I sat down on the sofa and flicked through channels on the TV. There was a cookery show, which didn't interest me at all; a water sports show, which I guessed Misty would like, and thinking about Misty gave me a pain in the chest; a cheesy little kid's cartoon featuring 'Buddy' the Pichu, which almost made me cry again. I changed the channel to the cookery show and sat back, eyes closed.
"So, Pikachu," the cook said, turning to his Pokemon, which was wearing a little chef's hat. I didn't want to watch any more. I stabbed viciously at the remote and the television blinked off.

I moped around for weeks.

Mom was patient at first, giving me anything I wanted, being there if I suddenly got upset. After a few temper tantrums, she began hinting subtly about me maybe "going off on a little expedition" aka starting my Pokemon journey all over again. I knew she meant well but I honestly didn't want anything to do with Pokemon any more. She then suggested I head off to Fallabor Town to visit my cousin, Kat. I declined all offers of a plane ticket, a train ticket, even a hired car.

I took to hiding in my room, which soon became bare of all Pokemon posters, all action figures, all the things I had purchased with my pocket money as a young, over-exciteable kid. I re-painted the walls to black, messily streaking the ceiling with the emulsion.
I didn't eat much - usually just a chocolate bar if I was peckish, or occasionally I would branch out and walk to Viridian City to buy some instant noodles to cook sneakily in the kitchen if Mom was in the garden with Mr Mime and Cherrim.

I had no idea what Mom was planning for me.

"Ashley Ketchum," she said, as a way of waking me up. It was winter now, and there was a thick layer of fluffy snow covering the ground outside.
"Mmm," I mumbled, still half asleep.
"Ash!" She marched across the room and pulled my duvet back off me. I yelped as the chilly air hit me and clawed the duvet back. She shook her head and sighed, but perservered, pulled the duvet off me again. I frowned darkly at her and sat up, my sleep-mussed hair sticking up in all directions.
"What," I snapped.
"Get up right now," she said, returning my scowl.
"Why," I challenged.
"Because you are going on a much-needed journey, that's why," Mom snapped.
"No I'm not," I said, but I was getting up, sensing the excitement this journey might bring. I had been wallowing about in bed for days, still mourning the loss of Pikachu. Every so often I would have a crying fit and crawl back under my covers, fall asleep, eat some chocolate or instant noodles, and basically get in Mom's way.
"I even found someone to accompany you," Mom smiled. "A little lady."

"Hi!"
The girl standing in front of me smiled brightly and shook my hand. She looked around my age, with long caramel coloured hair scraped back under a bandanna. She had six Poke-Balls clipped to her belt. I couldn't help staring enviously at them, and she saw me looking.
"Wanna meet them?" she asked, with a grin.
"Whatever," I said despondantly.
"You should meet each other first!" Mom said, laughing. She took the girl by her shoulders. "Ash, May, May, Ash."
We nodded at each other. May's eyes sparkled at me.
"Now can I meet them?" I asked, hopefully. May giggled.
"Sure you can," she agreed, and, as Mom bustled into the kitchen to make us some breakfast, she released six Pokemon. A Skitty, a Glaceon, a Wartortle, a Venusaur, a Beautifly and a Munchlax appeared in six threads of scarlet light.
"Wow," I commented appriciatively, patting the Venusaur as it nudged my sleeve. "I'm just glad you don't have a Pikachu... or I would be... you know. Upset or something," I blustered.
May nodded understandingly.

That was definately the word for May. Understanding.
We set out that very day, after I had called Cherrim into its Poke-Ball. May was a good companion - she listened, she laughed. I felt myself warming to her instantly, though I tried to hide it under a frosty demeanour. She perservered (very much like my mother) and soon we were friends. She fought battles with me - winning mostly, but occasionally I would beat her. We trekked across mountains, up to Snowpoint, down to Cinnabar.
I lost her, too.