Ready! Get Set! Cook!

We have decided to come back to life! And it has been like what, more than one year! And it's all thanks to Wassermagierin for bringing us back to the existence of this fic! Your review alerted us to see how lonely this fic was. Anyway, we will still be following the old storyline before Sai and Yamato appears. And before all of them got their image change. And Gaara still has Shuukaku! And be ready for even more OOCness!

Thank you for all the reviews! They made me sooo happy!

Disclaimer: Nope the situation's still the same. I still don't own Naruto.

Chapter 4 – Step 1: Decide on your dish… simple right?

Naruto suddenly stopped in the midst of running ninja. He saw no need to rush. After all hadn't his team decided to cook the ultimate dish? Naruto grinned to himself. We're one step ahead of everyone! The thought of all his dishes was starting to make his mouth water. Thinking of his lovelies made him excited.

"Oi Naruto! What are you doing there, giggling like a mad idiot?" came Kiba's holler from near the entrance.

His two temporary team members- no wait, fellow chefs were standing near the exit, Kiba giving him a weird look with the aura of impatience oozing out of him and Shikamaru just sighing and folding his arms as he stared at Naruto in a bored fashion.

"Let's go! I can't wait!" cheered Naruto as he sped towards them.

"You were the one lagging behind!" retorted Kiba, as he followed after Naruto.

Shikamaru had a bad feeling about the way Naruto was acting but Kiba did not seem affected by it so he just shrugged and followed after the two morons. After minutes of walking, Kiba finally realized something was wrong. Weren't they supposed to be discussing what they were going to cook? Well, he couldn't cook even if his life depended on it but hey, a guy's gotta keep up the image.

"Oi, Naruto. Where are we going?" he asked.

Naruto turned back to look at him. Now he was the one giving Kiba the weird look. "Did you hit your head or something, Kiba? Of course we're going to the supermarket."

At that, Shikamaru's suspicions were confirmed. He sighed and handed their future over to fate. It was too troublesome to do anything about it. Kiba seemed to be thinking it over. "Well, ok, reasonable enough, but how do you know what to buy if we don't know what we're going to cook?"

Naruto gave him an even weirder look. "Didn't we already discuss it?"

Shikamaru sighed. When it comes to that, Naruto sure likes to warp fantasies with reality,

Kiba raised his eyebrows. "Huh? When? All we did was follow you here!"

"How could you forget about RAMEN!!!" burst out Naruto, indignantly.

Kiba stared at him. Then he started laughing his head off. Even Akamaru became worried. Wiping his tears away, Kiba patted Naruto on the shoulder. "Good one Naruto. Now seriously, what are we going to cook?"

"I wasn't joking! Why would I joke about Ramen??"

Kiba fell silent at that. Oh yeah. Why would Naruto joke about Ramen? He lived and breathed ramen. But that means….

"NO WAY!!! YOU EXPECT US TO WIN WITH RAMEN???!!!"

Passers-by gave Kiba a weird look as they edged away from him.

"STOP GIVING ME WEIRD LOOKS!! I STARTED THE TREND, NO ONE SHOULD FOLLOW!!!"

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. Then why do you call it a trend?

"RAMEN IS THE BEST! BAA-CHAN WILL LIKE IT!"

Kiba took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down. He looked at Naruto straight in the eye.

"All right Naruto. Picture this. There are girls in the other groups. Girls are generally great in the kitchen. WE are a bunch of guys. NO GIRLS. ZERO. You got that?" Naruto slowly nodded and was about to say something but Kiba cut him off. "All right. They will probably come up with something extravagant like all those weird dishes with those funny names. All right? And now, we, the bunch of guys, come up to Hokage sama and present her with a cup of instant noodles. Do you think we will win Naruto? Do you want to be stuck with Hokage sama being your slave driver?! Do you seriously think we'll win?"

Naruto raised an eyebrow at him. "Of course not. Don't be stupid Kiba."

Kiba sighed with relief. "I'm glad you finally-"

"You pour the ramen in a bowl first to make it more presentable and you need three types of ramen! It's a three course meal, did you forget, Kiba? Man, you're too forgetful today!"

"AAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

……………………………………………………………………

"Sakura-san! Please impress us with your youthful culinary skills!" beamed Rock Lee, as he suddenly turned to Sakura…. who was apparently not there.

He blinked and looked around. He then turned to his other fellow group member, whose presence could be easily ignored as one of a wall, but a very scary wall at that. "Gaara-kun, have you seen Sakura-san? She seems to have lost her way in the crowd."

Gaara stared at him for a while and then swept his gaze over the streets where the non-existent crowd was. He then settled with another stare at Lee before promptly looking away. Lee did not look daunted by his lack of response.

"We have to search for her! SAKURA SAN!!!"

Meanwhile, Sakura was watching her two group mates from above a building. She winced when Lee started calling out her name. She quickly started to jump away to get further from them. I don't care whether our team loses. Anyway I have to see shishou everyday, it doesn't make a difference. I'm embarrassed to be in that team! I HAVE to get away!

Sakura quickly headed towards a secluded spot in Konoha. When she landed, she checked her surroundings before sighing in relief. She slowly started to walk over to a tree.

"I see. This is a great place to get inspiration, Sakura-san!"

Sakura screamed in shock. She whirled around to see Rock Lee giving her a huge, gleaming grin. Why didn't I sense him?!!! she thought, horrified. Suddenly, behind him loomed a dark foreboding aura. She gulped, audibly. Even Rock Lee's gleaming smile dimmed a little… but it still shone. No one could mar the smile of Konoha's Green Beast, apparently. Gaara came into view, walking slowly and stopping a few metres away.

"H-how did you find me?" asked Sakura, still stunned by their sudden appearance.

Rock Lee smiled. "The youthful beautiful flower will never be able to hide her beauty!"

Sakura gave him a blank stare. "Um… okaaayy…"

"Yes, Sakura-san, continue your valiant efforts in helping our team!"

Sakura gulped again. I don't want to be embarrassed! But there's no way out of this!

"Uh… I didn't exactly come here to get inspiration, as what you think Lee-san." At that, Lee nodded slowly. "Perhaps you have come to gather the essence of your dishes?" Sakura shook her head slowly. "You see… Um… I can cook…"

"As expected of the beautiful flower of Konoha!"

Sakura shuffled her feet awkwardly. "Water."

At that, Lee stopped. He stared at the red-faced Sakura and then he burst out into smiles again. "Water and…?"

Sakura's face flushed a deeper shade of red. "Just. Water."

There was silence. Even Gaara seemed to be staring at her. The birds stopped chirping and stared at her. So did the grasshopper near her feet. And the dragonfly flying past them and the worm crawling out of its hole, just for that reason. And Shuukaku. And –

"OKAY! FINE, I GET IT!!! STOP STARING AT ME YOU RANDOM CREATURES!!!"

Rock Lee finally seemed to recover and he burst out into smiles once more. "It is just fine, Sakura-san! You need not be embarrassed about it, we can work together as a team and overcome all obstacles!"

Sakura stared at him. "Really? I mean… actually… boiling water is a problem for me too. I don't know why it always bursts into flame whenever I put it over the stove… And even with instant ramen and with the boiling water ready to be poured in, the instant ramen can still catch fire… I wonder why… It can't possibly be my fault can it? Oh and I haven't told you about the time when I wanted to make oatmeal…"

At that, Rock Lee suddenly felt a cold chill. He turned to Gaara. Gaara just gave him the usual impassive look… but somehow mixed with that was some amount of fear, as his gaze rested on the still rambling Sakura. Rock Lee felt the cold chill again.

She can even burn water… What is going to happen to us….?

……………………………………………………………………

Stare….stare…stare… twiddles fingers… glare… stare…

"A-ano… I-I – "

"Wait, don't need to say it. You can cook," cut in Kankurou.

Hinata flushed a deep scarlet. "I-I'm sorry but… I d-don't know how to…"

Kankurou sighed in exasperation. " You were supposed to deceive me and say yes!"

Hinata grew redder as she hung her head even lower. "I-I'm sorry…" Kankurou sighed again. "Well I can't cook for the world. Someone else in the family does that," he turned to Sasuke, "Well, what about you?"

Sasuke gave him a pointed stare. "Do I look like a cook to you?" Kankurou groaned. "Great. Then what are we supposed to do, stare at each other till our eyes bleed?"

"Yeah, your eyes will bleed all right 'cause I'll dig them out if you stare at me with those beady eyes of yours," spoke Sasuke, in a threatening manner.

"You're just waiting to get your ass kicked, you snake pervert!" growled Kankurou.

At that, Sasuke froze. His brow then creased into a deep glare as his hands itched to reach out for Kankurou's neck and wring it. Kankurou almost shrank back in fear. He could almost hear the hissing of snakes. ALMOST.

"Wait, you're not up to his standard yet. I didn't hear the snakes hissing…" pointed out Kankurou.

Sasuke lost his murderous intent. "What?"

Kankurou shrugged. "I dunno… I figured since you're his successor, you should have like, some theme song with snakes hissing when you go into some ultra scary mode or something like that."

Now Sasuke really wanted to wring his neck. Just as he was about to do so, Hinata decided that it was the right time to cut in.

"I-I can try to c-cook something…"

The two other ninja turned to her. "You're like the princess of the house. What can you do?" asked Sasuke.

"Uh…I…"

"Wait a minute. Princess of the house, you say? Then can't you like ask one of those cooks of yours to cook for us?" asked Kankurou.

Hinata was about to answer when suddenly with a puff of smoke, Orochimaru appeared beside them. Kankurou and Sasuke clutched each other's hands and screamed. "ARGH!!! PERVERT!!!"

Then suddenly, Sasuke caught hold of himself and roughly pushed Kankurou out of his way. Kankurou was still covering his eyes and looking away, refusing to look back. Sasuke rolled his eyes, trying to calm his rapidly beating heart and trying to regain his pride. "It's just Orochimaru, coward." At that, Kankurou turned back a little. He dropped his hands. "Oh. So it is."

Orochimaru just stood there wearing a sour look on his sallow face. He chose not to comment on their previous actions, instead clearing his throat. Just as he was about to speak, Kankurou cut in.

"Hey, wait. I didn't hear the snakes hissing when you appeared just now."

Orochimaru, stared down his nose at Kankurou. "What nonsense are you babbling about, you insignificant ninja?"

Kankurou looked pissed but he wisely chose not to rebut. "You know, your theme song? You're a snake pervert, you should have some theme song that has to do with snakes shouldn't you?"

At that, Sasuke almost slapped his forehead. That's it, that idiot's gonna get it.

To Sasuke's surprise, Orochimaru chuckled. "Very observant, boy. No, for today, I left them back at Sound. They were feeling a little ill, those poor things. Must be due to the excessive hissing…"

Kankurou wanted to say "But you don't appear much in the anime anyway." But of course, Kankurou was smarter than that. And as for Sasuke, he just realized that Orochimaru was not the weirdo he thought he was. He was much more than that. How horrifying.

"Anyway, Tsunade has instructed me to tell you, you cannot receive external help from people. Now goodbye. Oh and Sasuke kun, you had better win this, or else I will never ever let you touch or even see the greatness of my mirror."

Sasuke almost laughed himself silly, "Like I care."

Orochimaru then disappeared in another puff of smoke. Kankurou gave Sasuke an "I told you so" look. "Told you, you're not up to his level yet."

Sasuke almost punched him into the ground. "Mention that sicko one more time and I'll make sure your face looks like his!"

Kankurou grimaced. "Eugh. Then there'll be like two Orochimaru! Do yourself and us all a favour man!"

Sasuke pondered this. He was right. That wouldn't be a good thing.

"Wait, Hyuuga's been rather quiet, don't you think?" pointed out Kankurou. Sasuke finally realized that too and he turned to look at Hinata. She was standing frozen, eyes wide.

"Don't tell me… she's still shocked over Orochimaru's appearance?" Kankurou went over to her, waving a hand in front of her face. "Oi, he's gone already."

There was no reaction from Hinata. Then Kankurou tapped her shoulder in an effort to try to get her out of her shocked state. Hinata suddenly swayed and…. BAM!

"O-Oi! Hyuuga? Hyuuga!"

To be continued…

Sorry for the lack of humour here, but it's not the right part for most of the humour to come in. That'll come later! And sorry, there won't be any pairings in this.

Please review!!