Entry #3 (cont.)

So, having gathered all of the necessary ingredients, all that remained was for Rin to actually make his sukiyaki. Now it was time to move on to Phase Two of my plan: sabotage. A carton of eggs had been included among the sukiyaki-ingredients that we'd purchased, so during the drive home, I decided to implement the special driver's training I'd received from Father; namely, the fine and distinguished art of burning rubber around every single turn and going just the right speed to achieve temporary weightlessness over hills. This also includes not slowing down for railroad tracks, potholes, or squirrels. Of course, I had no way of knowing precisely how many eggs the jarring drive had broken, but even if they'd all managed to remain miraculously intact, Rin's shell-shocked expression more than made the whole exercise worth it.

Once we arrived at the house, Rin had stumbled out of the van with the face of someone who is about to upheave the entire contents of his stomach. I took the opportunity to offer to carry the grocery bags, and as soon as we entered the house, I unpacked all of the ingredients onto the kitchen counter, deftly pocketing the bottle of soy sauce as I grabbed my Pocky and Amaimon's lollipops. I then wished Rin luck (ha!), left the Pocky in my room, and went down the hall to Amaimon's room to look for Behemoth. Strange name, I know, but that bulldog is HUGE. Technically he's a family pet, but he seems to hate everyone except Amaimon, so we all acknowledge that he's basically Amaimon's dog.

Amaimon smiled (which is his version of having a fit of ecstasy) when I brought him the Dum-Dums, so he was more than willing to let me lead Behemoth outside without asking any questions. I practically had to drag that dog by his collar, but it was worth it; after all, the best accomplice is always the one that can't implicate you. Once we reached the patio, I pulled out the bottle of soy sauce, took off the cap, and sat it on the ground. I then had to do quite a bit of maneuvering to make sure Behemoth knocked it over. As soon as he started lapping up the sauce and chewing on the bottle, I reentered the house as furtively as possible, taking off my shoes in order to avoid unwanted noise, and made my way over to the kitchen to check on Rin's progress…

Mephisto sauntered into the kitchen, doing his best impression of someone that was definitely not sneaking around. Upon entering the room, however, his face broke out into a wide, devilish grin; in an extraordinary stroke of luck, the room was empty. Rin had most likely gone to the bathroom or been called away by someone, and the frying pan full of vegetables that he'd left sitting on the counter was simply begging to be tampered with.

Mephisto chuckled silently and padded over towards the counter. There was also a small bowl with something he couldn't readily identify in it, but the frying pan was definitely more tempting. He studied the pan of ingredients, briefly torn on what he wanted to do to them. Ultimately, he settled on opening one of the kitchen cabinets, retrieving a bottle of vanilla extract, and pouring it all over the unsuspecting vegetables. He also added a couple of dashes of cinnamon, a little bit of Asmodeus' unfinished iced coffee, and a probably-non-toxic amount of liquid hand soap. The mixture looked obviously disgusting, so he grabbed one of the spoons Rin had apparently already used and stirred it around a bit; the liquids he'd added were close enough to transparent to vanish, and the cinnamon dispersed into tiny flecks of brown that no one would notice unless he was looking for them.

Mephisto grinned; so far, everything was going splendidly. He allowed himself the pleasure of opening the egg carton to see how much damage his driving had done; it looked like only three of the eggs had made it through unscathed. He was just closing the carton, when suddenly…

"What are you doing?"

Mephisto recognized Rin's voice and turned around slowly, looking contrite. "Oh, I'm sorry…" He scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "Father's the one who taught me how to drive, so I'm afraid I can be a bit of a maniac at times." He glanced at the egg carton. "I felt so bad about how I handled the drive home, so I wanted to make sure the eggs were alright." He held a hand over his heart in a mock swoon. "But alas, it looks as though most of them didn't make it…"

Rin frowned. "Yeah, I know." He shrugged and smiled a bit. "Luckily, though, I think I can still make it work with three eggs. Plus, there's one or two that only cracked a little bit, so they'll be okay to use, too."

Mephisto smiled in 'relief.' "Oh, good… I was worried that we wouldn't get enjoy your sukiyaki…" Inwardly, he was a tad disappointed. He'd thought for sure that three eggs wouldn't be enough for all nine of them, but Rin seemed like the type to work with what he had.

Rin grabbed a package of beef and started to open it with a pair of scissors, grinning. "Hey, I promised to make this, didn't I? There's no way a couple of cracked eggs is gonna make me give up."

Mephisto smiled wryly. Still persistent, eh? It would seem he needed to step up his efforts a bit. Of course, it was only a matter of time until Rin discovered that the soy sauce was missing, but Mephisto thought it best to be thorough in all things, sabotage included. He would have to be careful from now on, though… since Rin had caught him in the kitchen, it wouldn't be good for too many things to go wrong when he was present.

Mephisto left the kitchen and headed back down the hall towards Amaimon's room. Perhaps it was time to enlist the help of an accomplice that was slightly smarter than the dog…

Amaimon blinked at him, dull eyes uncomprehending. "What do you want me to do?"

Mephisto sighed; he was getting a little impatient. "Look, it's not that difficult to understand, is it?"

Amaimon shook his head slowly. "But why do I have to knock Rin's stuff on the floor?"

Mephisto turned his gaze away from Amaimon with a worried look. Time to put his acting skills to use. "Well, earlier this morning, I saw Astaroth mixing… things in one of the bowls. It smelled like chemicals, and I didn't think much of it at the time, but…" He turned back to face his younger brother, expression grave. "I don't think anybody washed it. And now Rin's using it to cook… I just don't want anyone to get food poisoning, or worse!" He folded his arms, hugging them against himself. "But Rin just seemed so excited, I couldn't bear to tell him. That's why we have to get rid of the stuff in that bowl, and make it look like an accident." He turned on his finest puppy-eyes. "You understand, don't you?"

Amaimon's expression was as blank as ever, but his eyebrows crinkled together slightly. "Yeah…" He unwrapped a lollipop and stuck it in his mouth. "I'll help you, Big Bro."

Mephisto nodded solemnly, but inside he was grinning fiendishly. Like putty in my hands… He stood up, reaching out a hand to pull Amaimon to his feet. "Now remember, you have to act like you accidentally bumped into him," he said, looking Amaimon straight in the eye to make sure he followed the instructions. "And whatever you do, don't tell him about what Astaroth put in the bowl… it might scare him."

Amaimon nodded, twirling the lollipop around in his mouth. Together, he and Mephisto stepped out into the hall, Mephisto sliding warily along the wall in order to keep out of sight of the kitchen. Amaimon stopped at the end of the hall, glancing back at Mephisto as if unsure of what to do. Mephisto motioned brusquely towards the kitchen with his hand, frowning in impatience.

Amaimon seemed to take the hint, as he left the hallway and headed into the kitchen; from his position, Mephisto couldn't see what was going on, so he closed his eyes and listened. Sure enough, in a couple of seconds, there was a loud thud, followed by a yelp and the sound of something crashing gloriously to the ground. Mephisto grinned. Ah, such sweet music…

Rin was shouting, almost incoherently; Mephisto could barely make out Amaimon's dull and insincere-sounding apology. Although he'd been reluctant at first, Amaimon was probably enjoying the excitement of their little trick. Mephisto smirked. Even though his kid brother's default temperament seemed to be "bored," it really didn't take much to amuse him.

After a moment or two of continued shouting from Rin, Amaimon hurried back into the hall, looking slightly crestfallen. Mephisto raised an eyebrow. "Didn't it work?"

Amaimon blinked. "No, it did, I just…" He stared at the ground, looking immensely disappointed. "My lollipop fell out of my mouth and got stuck in Rin's hair…"

It took a second or two for that statement to sink in; once it did, it took literally every ounce of whatever limited self-control that Mephisto possessed to keep from dissolving into wracking sobs of laughter right there in the hallway. As it was, he had to retreat swiftly into his own room and close the door before allowing himself to roll around cackling like a maniac. He wasn't even sure how long he laughed, only that he'd barely begun to regain control of himself when he heard Amaimon's muffled voice coming from the kitchen.

"Aw, Behemoth… that's Rin's soy sauce!"

The guttural wail of pure misery that followed immediately after that statement had Mephisto doubled over, laughing so hard he was practically crying. Oh, this had to be the best prank he'd EVER pulled off…

Rin wiped his forehead with the back of his hand, beaming tiredly. "I have had the freaking worst luck in the world for the past hour or so, but it was WORTH IT." He gestured to the large pan in the middle of the table with a bit of a flourish. "Dinner is frickin' SERVED." He then collapsed into his chair with an exaggerated sigh of exhaustion.

Amaimon eyed the finished sukiyaki with wide eyes. "Woww… it looks really good…"

Mammon snorted. "It'd better be, considering all the effort and resources that went into making that. Why anyone would work themselves so hard over food is beyond me."

Yukio smiled. "Don't worry, it's definitely worth the effort. Rin's sukiyaki was practically the best in our whole neighborhood back home."

Rin scratched his head nervously. "Yeah, well, so many weird things went wrong today, I can only hope it tastes alright…" He folded his arms angrily; this was evidently still quite the heated subject. "First, that clown over there was driving so badly that all the eggs broke except three. Then, I get tackled out of nowhere and all the meat ends up on the floor, and I wind up with a lollipop IN MY HAIR. So I had to cut that out with frickin' scissors…" He shot a glare at Amaimon. Apparently, the two of them were no longer on good terms. Rin cleared his throat. "And then, I look outside and the dog is rolling around in my soy sauce! And as if that weren't enough, somehow the stove turned off by itself while I was in the bathroom, and I had to reheat everything!" He snarled. "And don't even get me started on whoever was blasting that stupid classical music…"

Mephisto smirked. What, you don't like Franz Liszt at 120 decibels?

Asmodeus eyed the food hungrily, licking his lips. "Well, I can't wait to taste the results of your suffering…"

Mephisto grinned wickedly. "Indeed ~ !" He reached across the table and scooped some of the sukiyaki onto his plate. "Well, dig in!"

Mephisto watched everyone else at the table fill their plates with the dish; the tabloid showcasing Bigfoot's latest escapades through the exotic wilds of Canada was temporarily folded up and tossed onto the kitchen counter as the old man served himself a heap of the stuff. Even Belphegor was apparently sufficiently interested to crack open an eye and reach for the food. Mephisto felt himself smirking. After this, they were all going to BEG him for his instant ramen…

Astaroth took a huge bite of sukiyaki, and his eyes widened. "Oh my god…" He turned to Rin, eyebrows raised so high that his piercings were practically covered by his hair. "This is… AMAZING!"

Mephisto blinked. Come again?!

Mammon took a bite, and in an instant, his eyes were just as wide as Astaroth's. "Woah… I hate to admit it, but this was definitely worth the effort…" he muttered in amazement. He turned to Rin. "How on earth did you do it?!"

Mephisto felt a certain tightness beginning to form in his chest. How could this be happening?! How could that sukiyaki possibly taste GOOD, after all the… stuff… he'd put in it?! There was HAND SOAP in there, for Göthe's sake! And yet...

Asmodeus was chewing with his eyes closed, shuddering a little and moaning. Amaimon was already more than three-quarters of the way through his first plateful, and… even the old man had a certain glint in his eye…

Rin positively beamed. "Ha ha, I'm glad you like it!" Although, to be honest, he looked a little bit more than glad. Ecstatic might be a better word for it.

Yukio smiled warmly. "I told you, Rin's sukiyaki is the best."

Mephisto hid behind an insincere smirk, but he could feel his fists clench with rage and frustration. There's no way Rin could have possibly bested me so easily… the rest of them must be mad… He picked up his fork and scooped up a little piece of the sukiyaki. He then hesitantly lifted it to his mouth…

Mephisto's eyes widened slightly. It was good… inexplicably good. Nothing short of an honest-to-goodness miracle could have crafted such mind-numbing deliciousness out of the disaster he'd wreaked on Rin's cooking process. He found himself staring at Rin, unable to quell the flood of terrible frustration rising up inside of him. Fine; you may have won today, but I will have retribution for this insult… He smirked. They were officially rivals now.

And so, my attempts at sabotaging Rin's cooking may have gone horribly awry, but I'm not going to let that deter me in the slightest. I have a score to settle with him now, and I never rest until I get my sweet revenge…

At any rate, it would appear that I will have to be more careful in planning my next endeavour, whatever that may be. Although, to be honest, talking at length about this subject is making me want to toss my computer out a window, so I suppose I'll just end it here. Wiedersehen... tch.

Author's Note: Franz Liszt actually wrote four pieces entitled the Mephisto Waltzes... I'd imagine the one in this chapter is the third. It's full of adorably frivolous trills and embellishments, all atop a subtle fiendish dissonance; just like our King of Time and Space, ja?

Of course Behemoth is a bulldog. That was the closest ordinary household pet I could think of. Plus, bulldogs are big and slobbery and cute.

So, Mephisto is a subconsciously good cook? O_o

Also, thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. Chibi-Amaimon is grateful. He's still hungry, though... so please feed him more reviews!