EDIT: 18 JUL 2015
4 : The Confusion
"Are you kidding me?" Tony exclaimed. "Nobody has two soulmates."
"That's what I'm trying to say. She's not my soulmate because I've already found mine." Steve yelled.
"Then what could be an explanation for why I saw the fucking color again after I met you, Rogers." Natasha's voice had gone cold. She didn't want to be the only one to get hurt by those cruel words especially the cruel words from her 'soulmate'. She had to bring this asshole down with her too.
Steve's face contorted in pain for a second. He stared at her and he knew he didn't want to accept the truth. The woman in front of him wasn't his soulmate. He didn't even know her. For god's sake, he didn't even remember her name.
"This is more complicated than I can handle, Tony." Bruce told
"Doc, you gatta know what this is!" Steve said.
"JARVIS, get us Director Fury and inform him about our current complicated situation." Tony told the AI.
Tony couldn't solve this mystery either. All he could pray for was that Fury would find a fast solution to this before Natasha and Captain America decided to rip each other's head off.
The billionaire could clearly sense the hostility between them. Steve was in denial over everything that had happened while Natasha looked like she wanted this shit to be over as soon as possible.
Well, they were all in one hell of a ride from now on.
Fury's solution was a pretty dumb ass move in Tony's opinion. The director sent a specialist over to the tower and arranged a therapy session for the captain and the widow. He said the specialist was someone who had witnessed the phenomenon of soulmates at first hand and had studied in this area for years.
"I don't need a therapy session." They both said at the same time when Bruce informed them.
"You guys need this. It is the only way to solve this mystery. Otherwise, we have to ground both of you until we have figured out the best way not to send you to your death because you've been away from your soulmate for too long." Bruce replied. The doctor was a bit irritated by the stubbornness of the two heroes.
"She's not my soulmate." Steve still insisted the same answer.
Natasha sighed and turned away because Steve Rogers was pissing her off right now. They barely talked and that had resulted in the fact that they hadn't learnt anything about each other yet. All Natasha got was the impression that he was cold, rude and maybe a little cruel for rejecting the fact that she was really his soulmate.
It hurt her but he didn't seem to care.
"Please, Cap." Bruce asked nicely and Steve stepped inside the room where the therapist was waiting without waiting for Natasha. "Natasha, please do this. I don't want to ground you inside the tower either."
Natasha pouted at the doctor before entering the room too. She sat down on the armchair next to Steve with the therapist in front of them. Natasha knew her. She was Dr. Samantha White and Natasha seeked her out for some advice sometime ago. She's a good woman.
"So I heard you two have a problem with adjusting to your soulmate." The doctor inquired.
"She's not my soulmate! Why isn't anyone listening to me?"
"Stop saying that!" Nat yelled back because she hated to feel the physical pain every time he was saying all those things like she wasn't there. "What is wrong with you with accepting reality? That the past of you is all gone?"
"Because I don't want to admit it!"
The two of them looked like they were about to kill each other and Dr. White had to stop them.
"Take a deep breath." She said "And try to focus."
Steve did as the doctor told while Nat just sighed and leaned back into her chair. Her eyes fixed at the doctor while she took some notes on her clipboard.
"Captain Rogers, I can sense that you're a bit frustrated."
"Yes, doc. I am frustrated because I was supposed to die, not to have a chance to live again or to walk this earth again when I decided to leave my soulmate behind and let her face all the pain to save this world!"
It was the moment of pure pain and anger and survivor's guilt and it hit both women at the same time. For the doctor, she could clearly see that Steve was mentally unstable and was compromised by his old flashbacks and the guilt he carried on his shoulders. For Natasha, she felt the same pain because she experienced the same thing. She should have died so many times.
"How can you be so sure that the woman you left behind was your soulmate?" Dr. White calmly asked.
"I saw the color again because of her."
"Please tell me the whole story. Since you first met her."
Nat was intrigued about this too. She wanted to hear why Captain America couldn't let go of this woman. The woman he so believed she was his soulmate.
Steve inhaled deeply before he started, "As you may know I was just a little guy with all the asthma and stuff that made me not qualified to enlist. Dr. Erskine met me at the fair and accepted me into the super soldier program. That was when I first met her, Agent Peggy Carter of the SSR."
"Did you see the color right away?"
"No, I knew her for some time before I saw the color again when I lost my best friend and she found me at the destroyed bar in London."
"Captain, you may not like what you are about to hear but Peggy Carter wasn't your soulmate." Dr. White said.
"What?" Steve asked. Eyebrows frowned "How could that be? I saw color again, doc."
"What happened between you and her is qualified as 'lifemate', captain. Not a 'soulmate'." Dr. White explained. "You and her didn't see the color right away but instead you two saw color again after you experienced a certain situation together."
"It cannot be." Steve denied. He wanted to deny the truth and stay with his old believes.
He didn't want this woman. He didn't even know her. She seemed like a person who keeps all her secrets, who lies and manipulates, Steve fell into his deep thoughts again. Natasha could sense his mistrust toward her and she felt the need to make her point very clear.
"It's my job to lie and manipulate people, Rogers." She said and made Steve startled. "I'm a spy."
Dr. White observed their reactions and everything pointed out to the only answer.
"Captain, Natasha is really your soulmate. Everything already pointed out that way. The way you two saw color again after you looked into each other's eyes for the first time, the way you two felt pain when you were away from one another, the way Natasha could sense your current emotions and how she could see a glimpse of your memories."
"How can you be so sure?"
"For fuck's sake, Rogers! It's not that hard to figure out!" Natasha yelled in frustration.
"I experienced the phenomenon first handed, Captain." Dr. White replied "My husband and I met when I first joined SHIELD and the moment we saw color again is also the moment we started to bond our soul together. A Soulmate is something deeper than a lifemate could have or share."
Steve was in silence for two minutes and tried to let everything sink in.
"You may believe all you want, Captain but this isn't something you can fight or ignore without hurting your soulmate."
The session ended better than everyone expected. At least there was no blood bath or Natasha already reduced Steve into ashes. Dr. White informed Director Fury that they were not in any condition to work as they still needed time to adjust as soulmates. Another suggestion was that they had to help the Captain find peace with his past as soon as possible so he could move on and let Natasha in. The more he holds on to his past, the more it's going to hurt Natasha.
Fury took her advice and grounded them inside the tower and ordered them to adjust as soon as possible. Fury knew it wasn't going to be an easy task when two of the most stubborn people had to work together.
Fury had Hill deliver every file necessary for Steve so the captain could catch up with everything. Hill also told Natasha to help Steve with everything. Much to the spy's dismay, she couldn't stay away from Steve for, according to her experiment, more than 7 meters.
It sucks to have to stay close to someone you despise, not to mention helping him coping with the change of the world. Bruce said it was her duty, not as an Avenger or Agent of SHEILD, but as his soulmate.
The first day Steve dug into the mountain of files, they sat in silence most of the time. Nat kept her eyes fixed on him, to study him and to watch his every little tiny reaction. She needed to know how to break the ice with him which seemed too hard to do now.
Yeah, the Captain had a giant fucking wall of ice like the one in Clint's favorite TV show, Game of Thrones. Natasha hated it, too much blood, war, dead and deception. It was like she was watching her own life on that show.
Steve was now reading the files of his friends from the Howling Commandos. His face was blank but his eyes were filled with grief and guilt that Nat knew because he left them behind. The fucking survivor guilt.
"They are all gone." He mumbled, voice broken.
"It's the way of life, Rogers. They didn't have a super serum like you to live eternally."
"You don't know a thing." He replied.
"They lived their lives doing good things after you went under. They were founding members of SHIELD. They helped protect the world after you were gone. There is no need to be ashamed because you left them behind."
Steve didn't reply and got back to read the rest of the file. Natasha could feel everything. It stung her sometimes when all the feelings overwhelmed him. She wanted to reach out and help him through the pain but she couldn't because he didn't let her in.
He never let his guard down when he was around her.
Natasha was in the communication room at stark Tower trying to reach Fury but Hill told her that Fury was busy dealing with the World Security Council.
Fury contacted her again two hours later. He said he would stop by at the tower to see the progress the Avengers had made with the captain. Natasha warned him not to set his expectations too high because they were getting nowhere.
"What's your urgent matter, Agent?" Fury asked as he entered the living area of the Avengers Tower.
"Sir, I request getting back in the field."
"Are you sure?" he asked again. A bit concerned about her current situation with Captain America.
"Yes, sir. I'm sure. I don't want to sit around doing nothing anymore."
"Did Captain Rogers adjust yet?"
"He's doing alright, sir. He seemed like he didn't need any help from any of us."
"Romanoff, I advised you to take this situation seriously." Fury warned "It could be a life and dead situation if you are away from him."
"How could it be a life and dead situation?"
Fury could see that his number one agent was so confident that she would take the pain from separation. The director knew everything about this too. He found his lifemate and it almost jeopardized the whole thing because he thought he could stay away from her without strengthening the bond between them first.
The only way to make Natasha realize the seriousness of this matter was to let her experience it first handed.
"If you insist." He said. "Follow me"
Fury led Natasha to the quinjet. Everything went smoothly until Natasha flopped down on the floor and began to feel the pain growing stronger every inch she was further away from Steve.
"Damn it" The spy muttered. "Fuck…"
"Take us back to the tower!" Fury told the pilot before he turned back to Natasha "I told you."
"I know but you know me."
"Yeah, you are one stubborn woman."
Fury took Natasha down to the living room where they found out Steve had reacted the same way as the spy.
"I do believe that this makes my point very clear for you two to stay together."
They both nodded but didn't even look at one another.
Everyone else on the team was trying to help Steve back on track as fast as he can. Tony spent his time teaching the good captain how to operate the latest daily technology like a Starkphone and a laptop. Steve picked everything up very fast, thanks to his enhanced memory.
He always watched Bruce and Tony working in their labs or he would sit quietly in the corner reading old files. He also picked up some of the things that the two geniuses exchanged with one another about science.
Thor helped him get back in shape by sparring with him. The god of Thunder was the only one who could handle the captain's strength while Clint taught him how to use the modern and sophisticated weapons.
"Cap, you're a natural." Clint praised when Steve could use every single firearm correctly.
"Thanks." The Captain said "But I think I cannot become better than you in sharpshooting."
"That's why they call me Hawkeye."
Steve began to feel a little relaxed when he was finally okay with being around them. He found that they were all genuinely friendly and welcomed him as part of their team and family.
The only one Steve was trying to avoid was Natasha. She always put him in a bad mood and he also didn't quite accept the fact that she was his soulmate.
Why? Because he didn't even know her. Because he had already fallen in love with someone else. They've been through thick and thin together, they fought together. She saw him as who he really was, the skinny kids who wanted to join the Army and protected people. Peggy saw the real him.
On the other hand, He didn't know Natasha and what gave her the right to claim herself as his soulmate. He didn't want to spend his life with her. He didn't want her.
He kept his distance from her, locked himself inside his bedroom and read all those files. He could sense her presence, it must have something to do with all the soulmate things. She snuck onto his floor, just lounging around his living room like it was her own place.
He would let her do that if she didn't bother him.
He read most of the files. Until he decided to open the last one. The file about Peggy. He wasn't sure what he would discover. He just had the courage to do it today.
The first page in the file was the summary of her dossier. She didn't have a big 'DECEASE' stamped on her dossier. His heart lifted up with that fact, she's still alive!
He was looking for her address or a phone number to make contact but it didn't appear in the file. The only way he would find out about this was to ask someone.
Someone who knew all the information.
He stepped outside of his room and found Natasha watching some random TV show on his couch. He stood in front of her and looked down at the spy.
"She's still alive." He said "Why didn't you tell me? You knew about this, right?"
"I don't know anything about her." Natasha casually replied "Why would I be interested in a retired old woman from the past?"
Steve grabbed her arms and pulled her up on her feet, he squeezed her arms too hard which made her wince a little.
"Stop lying!"
"I only act like I know everything, Rogers."
"I don't believe you."
"I can tell you one thing, that she's in DC."
"Just find the information for me. You're the spy."
"You can't give me orders."
"Fine! I will just do it my way then."
"Cool with me!"
Steve let go of Natasha and stomped back into his room. He gathered everything in his duffle bag and went out of his floor. Natasha quickly followed behind.
"Where the hell do you think you are going?" She asked.
"DC."
"Are you crazy?"
"I have to find her and I don't need your approval."
They reached the garage and Steve went to his motorcycle. He took off without saying a word to Natasha. Nat had to run after him because she knew the pain would kill her for sure if he went further than a specific range. Steve was disappearing from her line of sight and she fell to the ground as she felt like thousands of knives stabbed into her body.
"Damn it, Rogers." She muttered while she dialed his number.
"What do you want?" He harshly asked.
"Come back here, you asshole." She replied with the same level of hatred "Come back and pick me up! I have to go with you too!"
"I don't want you with me."
"Damn it! Don't you feel the pain?"
"Yeah, I do! But I can handle it. I don't want you in DC with me."
Nat screamed with pure pain. People walking on the street looked at her but they couldn't help. It wasn't normal pain that they could just call the hospital but it was the pain that was caused by the soulmate.
Fuck! She hates this shit. To be more specific, she hated him as much as he hated her.
"Just come back and pick me up, please." She begged because it was all too much for her right now.
Fuck, and now he broke her first. Steve Fucking Rogers, the good old Captain America reduced the famous Black Widow into begging. FUCK!
"Fine, I will pick you up at the tower." With that Steve hung up.
Natasha slowly got up and walked back to the tower. Pain was subsiding as she felt Steve's presence. He didn't say anything and she got up on the bike with him and headed to DC.
Beta read by captain-romanogers