He is nothing more than a mere reflection in the water, once touched you'll realize that he is intangible, imaginary, and almost non-existent.

It happened all too fast. He was watching them waving goodbye. And as the carriage neared the gate, he saw him fall. If it were not of Keigo's support he might have hit the ground. Choutarou felt his blood run cold. He froze, but Aiko's scream woke him from his reverie. Choutarou looked once again and heard Keigo shout out for help- for the first time, Keigo seemed nervous and scared. Choutarou opened the carriage doors, and ran, ran towards him as he was swarmed by the servants trying to come to his aid. Choutarou kept on running, felt as if he was not nearing him at all. His lungs burn. He knew something was wrong but he chose to ignore it. Believing him everything was fine. How stupid… he was his best friend. He should know him inside-out and there has been a sixth sense inside Choutarou especially made for him- for Ryou ONLY. Finally, he reached his side and knelt down, Ryou looked at him and then he finally fell unconscious and unmoving.

Choutarou stared at the limp body and noticed the trail of blood in his chin. He began to reach for it, trying to decipher whether this is true and he is not just merely dreaming. Just a few centimeters away, almost scared to touch and feel Ryou's blood. As the tips of his finger felt the thick liquid, he cannot help but look at Keigo to search for answers to his questions. Keigo just looked back for a brief moment and tried to check Ryou's breathing and heart beat. As the in-house doctors came, Keigo let go and he have to drag Choutarou away because he was too stupefied by what happened, by what he saw. The doctors instructed to transfer Ryou inside the house to be properly examined.

The carriage returned, and Aiko went down and directly went to Choutarou's side. Choutarou did not bother to look at her. He was staring at the opened doors, hoping that Ryou will come out and tell everyone that it was one big stunt. He still does not know what is really happening but he is giving his instincts some credit that it is something is seriously wrong with him. He does not like to ask anyone what happened. He is not ready to face such confrontation.

"Atobe-san, what happened?" Aiko asked out of pure concern.

Keigo remained silent, his lips tensing, forming a thin line. A very rare response from Keigo since he always have to say something in everything. Keigo then looked at them, he seemed composed and unaffected after what happened but Choutarou knew better- he is trying to hide his anxiety and he is hiding something from him. Keigo left without saying a word, almost like dismissing their presence. Choutarou looked at Aiko who is confused and continuously ignored.

"Aiko-san, I am deeply sorry for I cannot accompany you home. Please take the carriage and I'll see you when I can… I hope you understand."

"… I do. Please tell me if there is anything that I can do to help, Choutarou. "

"Thank you, Aiko-san"

Choutarou guided her inside the carriage and waited until the carriage is out of sight. He then guided himself to Keigo's room where he knew he will be. The walk towards Keigo's room should be amusing because of all the expensive and exotic artifacts displayed along the way but he cannot bring himself to enjoy because there are far greater things that he is thinking about. There are so many questions that lingers his mind but he does not know where to start. He is not even sure whether he wants to start.

Not bothering to knock, Choutarou opened the door and found Keigo looking outside the window. Choutarou walked towards Keigo. Keigo, not bothering to look at him just continued staring outside- he seemed to be avoiding this conversation. Choutarou raised his hand and firmly placed it in Keigo's shoulder.

"Keigo, what is wrong with him?"

Keigo slowly looked at him.

"It is a matter that I shouldn't be the one discussing with you; I am not in the right position to disclose such delicate matter."

"Then you know what is wrong with him then?"

Silence answered him.

"How come you know?"

"He is trying to protect you, Choutarou."

"Protect me from what?"

From all the possible agony you'll experience once you knew he is dying.

Sensing that is hopeless to push things further.

"Where is he?" Choutarou asked.

"I'll accompany you."

They proceeded to the room where the doctors are tending Ryou. He was stripped off his clothes and replaced by one of the more comfortable sleep wear. Choutarou hurriedly went to the bedside while Keigo instructed the doctors to discuss the diagnosis with him- outside the room. If Choutarou will ever find this out, he wants it to come directly from Ryou and not through the scientific blabber of the medics.

Choutarou never saw him this pale before. Ryou was never this sick. What happened to him? How come he never noticed this? He sat down on the bed carefully. Taking Ryou's hands and massaging it unconsciously. He then reached out to brush a stray hair from his face and his hand lingered in his cheek long enough. He can feel the steady but heavy breathing of Ryou. He silently watched him sleep, hoping for him to wake up soon. His questions can wait; all he wanted now was for him to wake up.

Keigo watched the silent scene. Finally closing the door, he cannot help but feel worried with the progress of Ryou's condition. He is not getting any better. The doctors advised that the medications will only ease the pain and not to miraculously cure him. There is no way out for Ryou this time. His attacks were more frequent. He is thinking how Ryou's body will handle all these pressure and fatigue. He has to stop his pretention and just concentrate more on resting and giving his body the much needed care. He has to stop this game, before it is all over.

Choutarou felt Ryou's fingers moving. He did not notice that he fell asleep while holding his hand the whole time. He straightened himself and waited for Ryou to open his eyes. Ryou stirred, reached for his head to rub off the pain he is feeling. He then opened his eyes, blinking for a few times- adjusting his vision. Ryou realized that he was not alone and someone was watching his every move. He looked at his side and caught the worried eyes of Choutarou. He was surprised and worried at the same time. He cannot escape this time. He has to say something… or anything. But what is the use of keeping it now when Choutarou already saw everything. His unconscious state, cough outbreak and he is quite sure that he also saw him coughing blood. He cannot tell him of that it is just because of the changing weather. He is feeling that Choutarou already knew that what is happening to him is already serious and something to be bothered with. He waited for Choutarou to ask him but it seems the other party is also waiting for him to speak first. But he decided to just stay silent until Choutarou goes first.

"Are you alright now, Ryou?"

He just nodded his head slowly, taking his time to answer him. If this will prolong this confrontation then, so be it.

Choutarou noticing that Ryou is being his hard-headed self, he sighed and just tried his luck to ask him outright.

"Are you sick Ryou?"

Ryou closed his eyes because this is his dreaded moment. He don't want to see Choutarou's reaction when he is about to tell him that he doesn't have much time to live. HE doesn't want to tell him this in the first place. IF there is anyway to avoid then he'll gladly take that course.

"Yes"

Choutarou's silence suggested him to continue. He does not want to but he has to. Choutarou is looking at him intently, urging him to enlighten him about his condition.

"I have been recently diagnosed with lung problems by the doctors. At first they thought it was due to the cold weather and unpredictable snow storms we experienced last winter but when I coughed out blood they confirmed their speculations that it is something more than the normal winter cough and sickness. They prescribed medications which at first helped me. But I knew I am not getting any better until the doctors told me that I…" Ryou cannot bring himself to continue. But these are the moments that he has to be brave. Face reality and firmly hold on to his resolve that he already accepted death as natural occurrence in life. His hands tightened in the sheets. He can do this, he is GOING to do this.

"I don't have much time to live, Choutarou." Ryou said outright. He lowered his head s that his hair will cover his face, to save him from seeing whatever emotion reflected on Choutarou's face. He did not realize that Choutarou was holding his hand the whole time. He just felt the tight hold right after his revelation. He looked up and immediate regretted it because there are trail of tears in Choutarou's face. His lips are forming a straight line- an indication that he is upset and absolutely distressed. Choutarou is fighting his tears back but he cannot hold it any longer.

"Why did you keep this from me?" Choutarou said almost close to a whisper.

"I was going to tell you but in the end I decided not to. I don't want you to bear this burden. I don't want you to worry."

"What? I am your best friend Ryou. I am supposed to help you. I WANT to help you. Why are you shunning me out?"

Ryou cannot hold it anymore. This is what he is avoiding in the first place, Choutarou's involvement. He is removing all reasons why he wants to live. He is slowly detaching himself from his family, he is closing himself to his acquaintances and he is turning his back to Choutarou. If he will be leaving permanently, then he wants to do it silently with no memories of how his life has been happily spent. It will make everything easier, much less…painful.

Ryou did not notice that he was crying too. Silent tears trickled down his cheek. He did not cry when the doctors told him that he will die, he did not shed a tear when he has his outbreaks and he did not weep when his family mourned over his fate. He did not expect this; all his preparation and resolve just easily vanished in the air.

"If I'm going to die then I want to do it silently. I don't want to bring everyone down with me. If it is going to hurt them then I better do it on my own."

"It will hurt us more because we know we cannot do anything to change your fate's course but at least don't completely carry this burden alone. Don't shun us out. Let ME share the burden you are carrying. Please…"

Choutarou was closed to begging. He cannot restrain himself from embracing Ryou tightly. He is crying and trying to engrave this feeling in his mind. He stroke the silky hair, the hair that he much wants to touch and feel. He cannot believe the circumstances- here he is, embracing Ryou but cannot really enjoy the moment because he is comforting and afraid. Ironic isn't it?

"It is a bad thing already that I did not sense anything peculiar from you the past months. Let me make it up to you, Ryou. Please let me spend time with you, I am really a horrible friend."

Ryou cannot help but shake his head.

"You are not horrible and you are not obligated to make things up to me because there is nothing to be worried over. I tried to keep this away from you in the first place. And I am not expecting anything… not expecting anything."

"You cannot stop me, and you know it."

"You don't have to do this. I don't want you to do this. Subjecting yourself in accompanying me. I was able to do it alone before and I can do it now."

"There is no way I am changing my mind."

"Don't forget you have Aiko-san now. Don't ignore her. You should be spending more time with her than laboring yourself in accompanying my."

"You are far more important, Ryou." I am not leaving you because I love you.

"You have obligations that have to be fulfilled. You cannot just turn your back from your responsibilities." It hurts so much for you to be beside me, I want you to live without me.

"Yes I do have obligations and what matters now is fulfilling my obligations to myself." …obligations to my heart.

Ryou did not argue with him anymore, it will be a futile attempt. He just decided to relish the moment. He decided to be selfish just for the time being. Letting Choutarou comfort him endlessly, letting him feel a few good moments of his ending life. He closed his eyes and just let everything take its flow.

Choutarou slowly moved back to take a view of Ryou. Sensing his distress and submission to his death, he cannot help but feel the same way. Tears are fighting its way back to Choutarou's eyes. Choutarou closed his eyes and let them flow freely. He gently kissed Ryou's forehead, not knowing exactly what he has done. He is just following his instincts and it seems doing that will lift their downtrodden spirits. He again embraced Ryou, this time cradling him in his chest. Choutarou don't want to let go because he is afraid that if he did, he might not get another chance to do this again.

"You are not alone Ryou. I am here."

They stayed in silence. One is hoping this is only a dream and the other is hoping that this dream will never end.