Author's Note: I'm very grateful for the amount of hits, favs and alerts this story is getting (hurrah, guys!), and I wanted to thank all those reading and enjoying. I also wanted to take the opportunity to say that it is OK to review as well! I don't hate reviews! Quite the opposite! (helpful hint of the day: to review, click the big blue button at the bottom of the page. The one that says Review on it. Yup, that one!)
Chapter 3 - Feros, Prothean Cipher
Feros is a complete and utter mess of a planet.
A massive geth invasion force, a heartless interstellar corporation for planetary exploration and colonization, conducting inhuman experiments on its own people, and an ancient and powerful plant-based life form, able to take control and dominate other organic beings.
That is pretty much the summary of what makes Feros such a complete and utter mess.
Still, it has not been all for naught. The geth invasion force has been repelled. The mind controlling plant, the Thorian, has been destroyed, freeing the colonists of Zhu's Hope from its insidious influence. And the reasons why Saren sought out the Thorian have been revealed. He was after the same knowledge that now rests in Shepard's mind, courtesy of an asari commando freed from Thorian's grasp. The Cipher is a collection of the entire cultural knowledge of the Protheans, assembled by the Thorian when Protheans were still alive and busy colonizing Feros. It is the very essence of understanding what makes one a Prothean.
Saren has used this knowledge to comprehend the visions of the beacon from Eden Prime. Now, Shepard will have to do the same, but with time running out for them, she still can't make any sense of the images. They seem to be a little clearer, but still, there is nothing definitive.
During the mission debrief back on SSV Normandy, Liara offers her help. "Perhaps my knowledge of the Protheans can help you understand those visions," she says. "If you will allow me to join my consciousness with yours, perhaps together we can decipher the message."
"Is it something similar to what Shiala did to me when passing on the Cipher?" Shepard asks, remembering the asari commando they had freed from the Thorian.
"Yes and no," Liara explains. "She merely passed information between you. To help you understand its meaning, I will have to go deeper."
"Alright, if you're certain you know what you're doing," Shepard nods, standing in front of Liara, the asari placing her hands on her shoulders and leaning closer, almost brow against brow. "Remember that I trust you, Liara."
"Close your eyes and relax," she hears Liara's voice. She tries to calm down, freeing herself of all thoughts, clearing her mind completely. Slowly and inescapably, she can feel a growing presence inside her very being, reaching closer and deeper into her thoughts, gently trying to sort through layers of her mind in search of hidden knowledge. Reflexively, she fights the alien presence, trying to guard her secrets.
"Do not struggle, Commander," Liara speaks softly. Shepard looks at her briefly, only to see that the asari's blue eyes have gone completely pitch black. "Embrace eternity," she says, and Shepard obeys, stopping her struggles, feeling the probing essence of Liara flowing past her mental defenses. The intimacy of the act is overwhelming, but she is no longer afraid. Just as Liara has free access to her thoughts, her consciousness, Shepard can explore the asari in turn. With enough concentration and effort, she can feel Liara's entire being, wrapped and intertwined with hers. She senses trust. Respect. Loyalty. And the presence of feelings more tender and intimate, that she decides against exploring, until the time is right.
Shortly after, she can feel their merged consciousness unwrapping, Liara is sliding away, out of her grasp, and with great reluctance she releases herself from the intertwining union. With their squadmates looking on in concern, they both fall down heavily in their respective seats, exhausted from the effort.
"Did that help any?" Ashley asks, looking suspicious, perhaps believing that Liara has exercised some kind of mind-control over Shepard.
"I don't know... I'm a bit too winded to make sense of anything right now," Shepard confesses.
"Yes, I think I need to go lie down in the medbay for a while," Liara agrees, struggling to her feet, Kaidan quick to help steady her.
As Liara leaves, Shepard rises too. "I know that time grows short and Saren is still a few steps ahead of us," she says, to Williams in particular. "But I am doing all I can to track him down. We know about the Mu Relay, but not much beyond that. If this... Cipher does not give us any new leads in two days, we will head for the relay and go from there. Clear?" Everyone nods in approval, even Chief Williams looks satisfied with the plan.
Shepard gets to her quarters and then collapses on the bed, for once being able to enjoy long and uninterrupted sleep. She wakes feeling fresh and rejuvenated and the first thing she does is to try and access those visions locked in her mind one more time. They seem... different, somehow. What were brief flashes of split images before, now feel more like several seconds long recordings. She sees an ancient race of organics, the Protheans, ruthlessly wiped out by deadly machines, the fabled and mythical Reapers. The visions together convey only one thing, a dire warning. But there still isn't anything tangible, like a set of coordinates or something like that.
Frustrated, she decides to get off the ship, hoping that spending some time back on Feros might help focus her thoughts. As she is about to get into the Mako, she feels a hand on her shoulder, stopping her. It is Liara, asking whether she can join her. Shepard smiles and nods, and together they set out on a drive on the ancient Prothean skyway. This planet is a miserable deathtrap with nothing worth salvaging left on it, but the sights of the crumbling Prothean architecture surrounding them are still amazing and breathtaking. They stop at the side of the skyway and climb out of the Mako, sitting with their legs dangling across the edge of the miles high skyway, trying to imagine what the planet would have looked in its glory days, a busy Prothean metropolis, civilization likely far more advanced than theirs, even if it had thrived fifty thousand years ago.
"I've been meaning to ask you something, Liara," Shepard says thoughtfully. The asari turns to face her, eager to hear the question. "This Prothean knowledge I carry with me. First the imprint of the beacon, now the Cipher. Does that... not bother you?"
"What do you mean?" Liara seems confused.
Shepard hesitates. "Well... I'll try to explain with an example. Imagine if I had served the Alliance loyally for twenty years and were considered for a promotion. And then, a complete newcomer to the military comes along and somehow, due to a lucky break gets picked for a position in High Command ahead of me."
"Oh, you mean if I thought that because of the time I spent studying the Protheans, I was the one more deserving to find the beacon and the Cipher?" Liara asks. Shepard nods. "I... truly hadn't thought that way. Perhaps because you have never denied me the opportunity to study the knowledge within you. You... would not do that, would you, Commander?"
"I would never deny you that, Liara," she answers. "Well, as long as you promise not to dissect me in some lab, of course."
"What? I would never!" Liara is shocked, but then notices Shepard's grin. "Oh... you were joking! Goddess, I am so dense," she puts a palm to her face, shaking her head. "Besides, Commander, there are no guarantees that I would have been able to withstand the energies stored in the beacon. There is a good chance I would have been evaporated on the spot."
"And that would be a great shame," Shepard agrees. They fall in silence for a while again, just looking in the distance, at the Prothean skyscrapers, rising high above the clouds, still standing tall and proud in the bluish light of the Theseus star. "So... that joining of our consciousness we did during the debrief," she starts talking a while later. "It was certainly... intense. Is it anything like the mind-melding part of asari mating practices?"
"Shepard, this was nowhere near as intense as a true union," Liara explains, shaking her head.
"You're kidding, right?" Shepard blinks, unable to at first imagine anything even more draining.
"Think about it, Shepard. Our... uh, well, the nervous systems of those involved become like one. It is like essentially becoming one being," Liara explains. "What we did now was nothing like it. We both retained a degree of control. You were able to block me quite effectively, until I told you to stop fighting. During union, there would be no barriers between us, or well, I mean the partners involved."
"Or so you have heard," Shepard adds with a wicked grin.
"Or so I have heard, yes," Liara nods. "I suppose I am not doing a good job at hiding my lack of experience." Silence sets in briefly, before Liara speaks again. "Shepard... does that still feel like something you might consider? When the time is right, I mean?"
Their eyes remain locked. "Yes, Liara. Without a doubt," she says, feeling her heartbeat increase. "I want to embrace eternity with you. When the time is right."
Shortly after, they set on the road back to Zhu's Hope and Normandy. On the way back, Liara mentions having heard more gossip amongst the crew about what has happened during the mission debrief, whispers blowing through the ship about Liara's mind control abilities holding the Commander on a leash. Shepard decides that it's about time she cleared the air with both Kaidan and Ashley.
She runs into Lieutenant Alenko first, pulling him aside for a quick private chat in a quiet corner near the forward batteries. "Lieutenant, I feel that I owe you an apology," she starts. Kaidan looks at her, a little surprised. "I fear that during our previous talks I might have conducted myself with deplorable lack of professionalism."
"I must confess not remembering any such behavior, Commander," Kaidan offers supportively.
"Do not mistake me, Lieutenant, I enjoy talking with you off the record, but..." she hesitates. "I do not wish to convey the wrong signal. I worry that I might have done so, causing some... tension."
"Is this about Doctor T'Soni?" Kaidan asks, unexpectedly direct.
"The nature of my relationship with Doctor T'Soni is off limits for discussion," she snaps defensively. "Discussion with me, with Doctor T'Soni, or amongst the crew. Is that clear?"
"Aye aye, m'am," Kaidan salutes. "Commander, I want you to know that even if I have heard the rumor, I had nothing to do with it. I have only the greatest respect for you and for Doctor T'Soni. Beyond that, it is not my business." He looks slightly disappointed as he talks, but it passes quickly. Above all, his words are earnest.
"I believe you, Kaidan," she replies. "I respect you as a person and always value your input. That's why I brought this up, I thought we needed to clear the air, I do not want anything to linger between us that might distract us from the goals of the mission."
"I appreciate that, Commander," Kaidan smiles. "I'm one hundred percent behind you and completely focused on the mission. You needn't worry about me, Shepard."
"Good," she nods, satisfied. "You're a valued part of the team, and in time, I hope we will become good-" she hesitates, hoping that she doesn't sound too corny.
"Commander, unless the word you were planning to say was 'friends', I will be very insulted," Kaidan says, his eyes shining with amusement.
"I planned to say exactly that, Lieutenant," she smiles. "I should let you go now. Pleasure talking to you, Lieutenant, as always."
Kaidan nods as she slips by him, towards the elevator down to the armory, where Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams is busy cleaning the rifles for what is probably the fifth time today. "Got a minute, Williams?" she says, startling the Chief slightly.
"Sure, skipper," she turns around to face Shepard. "What's on your mind?"
"I'm more interested in what's on your mind, Ashley," Shepard replies. "I know you're not happy and frustrated about some things that have happened. I'm giving you the opportunity to lay it on me right here and now, so that it doesn't get in our way moving forward."
Ashley takes a deep breath. "Alright, Commander. If that's what you want."
Her grievances are many. Garrus and Wrex having access to Normandy's weapons. Tali poking around Normandy's engines. Liara doing strange things to Shepard's mind, perhaps manipulating the Commander somehow. One way or another, it is always about aliens.
Shepard feels irritated when faced with such paranoia and distrust, but at the same time, she realizes there has to be more about it. Ashley is not stupid or close-minded, she is a reasonably intelligent and well-educated young woman. Slowly and carefully, Shepard pulls at the threads of their conversation, until the full truth finally comes out.
She had thought the name of Williams sounded familiar when they first met. Ashley's grandfather is the infamous General Williams, the first human to surrender to an alien force, when he allowed the turians to capture Shanxi in order to limit civilian losses. Dishonorable discharge and blacklisting of the entire family name was the legacy of an act of mercy. Struggling against impossible odds, her transfer requests always denied without explanation, in spite of perfect technical scores, it all reveals a side of Ashley's character that Shepard can sympathize with.
"I can see where you're coming from, Ash," she says, having considered everything said between them. "I see your point. But we can't let it get in our way. Things are slowly coming to conclusion, we are in the home stretch now. We've got Saren on the run, we can't allow any distractions."
"Understood, Commander," Ashley salutes. "I have never questioned a single order, despite my feelings. That will not change."
"I know that, Williams. But I still hope that you will change your mind about working with aliens," Shepard says. "I'm not holding your grandfather's legacy against you. Do not hold their origins against them. They have already spilled their blood for us many times. Ashley, at some point, you have to let go."
Gunnery Chief Williams hangs her head, looking a little ashamed. "I... will try, Commander. Thanks for not making me pack my bags. Anyone else would have done that just as soon as they learned about my grandfather. Much appreciated, skipper."
"You're very welcome, Ash," Shepard nods, feeling pleased. One conversation cannot completely change a deeply ingrained outlook, but somehow she feels Ashley has already been well on her way.
She is about to excuse herself and leave, when suddenly the pilot's voice startles her over the comms. "Commander? The Council want to see you in the briefing room. Seems like they have a lead on Saren."
"Thanks Joker, I'm on my way," she replies, exchanging looks with Ashley, both of them sporting predatory grins.
"Well, it's about time we caught a lucky break, Commander," Chief Williams says. "Let's find that turian son-of-a-bitch and kick him hard in the nuts."
"You got it, Chief," Shepard agrees emphatically. "It's high past time we ended this..."