A/N – I am so so so sorry about the delay. Real life has been pretty busy and I couldn't make myself to write. I watched the 3x12 ep and what the hell? The end? Come on... I hope he won't just welcome her back just like that... after everything she has put him through... how come he never points that out?

I know some of you wrote stories along the similar lines as this one – so hopefully it will match the equals! There are still few chapters to go here and I doubt it will be finished before 3x13. Sorry...

Allie walked with Jane, there was a little Inn about 15 minutes away from the house. She knew the owner, it was very nice old lady who could cook like nobody else. She called her and made sure she had room available – which she had. So she took Jane there.

The beginning of their walk was silent but then Jane stopped and looked at her friend.

"If you have any questions..."

"No, Jane, I shouldn't. It's your private business."

"You're family. So if you want to ask something, then do it." Jane offered and Allison knew it was a big step for her. They resumed their walk and after a minute she gathered up the courage to speak up.

"Look, Jane, I know that you left to protect him and to protect Beth. And I know how much it cost you. Leaving him and your life. I just wish you..."

"What? That I should have trusted him to help me out and stay here and..."

"Yes. Exactly. I don't know how come you haven't realized yet but you two are invincible when you're together. Separation kills you both."

Jane didn't know how to respond to that. They kept on walking and Jane decided to open up. And so she told her about what happened between them. And this time there was no blame from her part to put on Kurt. This time she knew they were equally in the mess they've created. She told Allison the facts.

"... and so now it's up to him." She finished and Allie was taken aback a bit.

"You're stupid. Both of you." She said and Jane chuckled at that. What a summary of their situation.

"Yeah, it seems so. But I love him, Allison. I really do. I always have." Jane said and her voice trembled.

"I know. I knew it since the first moment I saw you two together by that elevator." She confessed and it took Jane by surprise.

"You know, he has never – not even once – looked at me the way he was looking at you back then. And when he talked about you... he loved you even then but didn't realize it."

"Allie..." Jane was about to object.

"I never thanked you." Allison stepped in.

"What for?"

"For saving my life..."

"You don't have to." Jane answered.

"It had to be killing you. I know how they treated you, he told me. I know how hard it was on you because I could see that. And then you found out I was pregnant and it HAD to be killing you. And yet you risked your life to save mine. And the baby." And the deep emotion in her voice told Jane that it was important to talk about this.

"We never talked about it and I am sorry. I should have thanked you and apologized a long ago." She added and Jane suddenly stopped and looked at her.

"You're welcome." Jane said and Allie smiled at her. "I would do anything..."

"I know."

"You know, that day... he trusted me to keep you safe. I couldn't break that trust."

"And you think your life didn't matter." Allie added and Jane nodded. No point in lying there.

"Well, it does. And you have to promise me to keep that in mind."

"Okay..." Jane answered.

"Now, you have a long road ahead if you want to fix your marriage as we both know Kurt is very stubborn."

"He's behind his walls again." Jane said and Allie knew she was right.

"You found your way how to take them down before. You will again."

"If he lets me."

"Jane, he loves you."

"But I hurt him badly."

"So help him heal and let him help you heal. Stop hiding from each other, marriage doesn't work that way."

"I know... I really hope we can start over."

"Me too."

And as they reached their destination Allie showed her in and introduced her to Maggie.

Back home she found Kurt watching over their sleeping daughter. She came to him and put her hand onto his shoulder to let him know she was there with him. She knew him well enough to know she just had to wait for him to open up to her. If he was ready for it.

Kurt looked at her and she was surprised to see the tears in his eyes. She could count the times she had seen him cry on the fingers of her hands.

"Kurt?"

"I love her, Allie." He said softly.

"I know you do."

"I don't know what to do. It's tearing me apart."

"So, are you giving up?" She asked him and watched him think about the answer to that.

"No."

"Good."

"Did she tell you anything?"

"Well, everything I guess... are you okay with that?"

"By everything do you mean everything?"

"Well she told me about the bounty, Roman's involvement, you and Avery, about Clem..." She stated just the few important topics. It surprised him.

"She loves you."

"Is that enough?" And he sounded so small that it hurt her.

"It's a start." She said and left him there with their daughter.

The next morning Kurt went for a walk with Bethany in the stroller and after being awake whole night he needed coffee. And there was one place where they made the best coffee in the area. And yes, he knew it was close to the place where Jane was staying and it was part of the reason why he had decided to go there in particular.

Their talk yesterday – both with her and with Allison – made him think and come to terms with his feelings, thoughts, wishes and wants – and needs. He had to come up with a plan and he had to sort it all out to know what to do.

Jane had a sleepless night as well but for the first time in days, well maybe weeks, she didn't feel all numb and empty. When she came here she was scared and didn't know what to do. But after talking to Kurt she actually felt some sense of peace. He stopped guarding his heart and let her see the raw pain at least for a moment and it helped her to understand.

She went out for a walk in the morning and she walked around the areas they used to walk through when they lived there. She felt the loss of her old life but she knew that all the steps leading them here were important.

Jane stopped in a park and sat down on one bench. It was the bench where they stopped on their walk through the park the first evening they spent in Colorado, it was the day they arrived with the truck full of things, when they were ready to make a home there. And they took a walk, holding hands, they stopped there, sat down and she could still remember how he hugged her close to his side to keep her from the chilly evening breeze and how he smiled and how they kissed. A lot has changed since then.

And with that sad dreamy look she was found by Kurt. He walked there only partially hoping to find her there in the park. Of course he remembered the bench as well. Bethany was asleep, she had a rough night – teething can do that.

"Good morning." He said and watched her take a breath and open her eyes. She smiled at him.

"Hey... taking a walk?"

"Yeah..." And as she didn't say anything else he continued.

"I was about to get some coffee, do you want to join me?" And after a moment of uncertainty she smiled at him and said yes. And so they walked together to the shop, he was telling her about Beth and they kept the conversation light.

And both were surprised that it wasn't strained or weird between them.

With the coffees in hand they resumed walking and after some time Kurt knew that he should probably tell her what he had on his mind.

"Jane?"

"Yeah?"

"I want to fix it." He said and she stopped in her tracks and turned to look at him.

"You mean us?"

"Yes. I want to make this work."

"Me too."

"But we can't just pretend everything's okay because it isn't."

"I agree. So, do you have a plan?" She asked and was proud of herself to keep the tears at bay.

"As you said. We start over. From the beginning."

"How?"

"I think... I think we need to learn how to trust each other again. So we have a lot to talk about. And no holding back this time."

"No hiding behind walls and no lying to protect each other." She supplied and he nodded.

"Yeah, exactly. We need to be honest with each other."

"Okay. That sounds good."

"Jane... it won't be easy."

"I know. We both made mistakes and we're both hurting right now." She said and he couldn't agree more.

"Kurt, do you want me to leave the FBI for now?"

"Oh, well, no I don't think so." He said and had to think about it for a moment. "I trust you to have my back in the field. You've always had my back even when I was a bastard to you and you should have probably shot me yourself." He said and she had to bite her lip as there was a small smile threatening to show up.

"So we continue to do our job. As before."

"Yes. We try to keep the personal stuff outside the office. No arguing about things that have nothing to do with cases."

"That sounds good. And if it can't be avoided?"

"I don't know. I guess we deal with that once the situation arises."

"All right... and outside the office?"

"I need to get to know you again, Jane. I want to get to know you. You're a different person now." He said and she could tell it was tearing his heart apart.

"Kurt... I want to get to know you as well. We start over. We can meet for walks or coffees, like friends in the beginning..."

"And it might turn into dating..." Kurt added.

"It might..." She said and it gave her hope.

"Okay." He confirmed and they resumed walking.

"Jane there is one thing..."

"Name it."

"If we're doing this I need you to promise me that you won't run away. Not ever again. And I mean it."

"I promise." She said and she meant it. "I'm done with that. I want to build a new life. With you. No matter where. But with you. I'm done being lonely and alone." Jane added and he smiled at her sadly.

"Kurt can I ask you something?"

"What is it?"

"My ring. Did you keep it or is it gone?" And she sounded as scared as she felt.

"I kept it. It's in the safe in the apartment." He said.

"Okay. Let's keep it there."

"You're okay with that?"

"Yes. I mean I want it back on my finger but when the time is right. You know what I mean?"

"Yeah, I think I do." Kurt replied and although in the beginning he didn't like the topic at all – now it made sense.

"And if you want to take yours off and put it there as well..." She offered and he had to admit she had a point. They were starting over.

"I don't know Jane."

"I just don't want you to feel uneven." She said. "I know how you feel about me but after everything I would understand if you would want to wait for the right moment to make the decision about spending the rest of your life with me."

And he hated himself for being that weak – he couldn't take the ring off, could he? It was the biggest possible commitment for him, the ring was a symbol and he was not comfortable without it. But there was something about what Jane had said that made him consider it. But then another thought came to him and Jane could sense the moment it happened as he suddenly stood still with jaw firmly set and there was something cold and icy in his eyes.

"Are you saying this because you don't want to be married?"

"What? No." She answered. "Kurt? Honesty, remember? So what are you asking me?"

And he took a deep breath. Here they were...

"Is Clem still in the picture?" He asked and could slap himself because he could see plain and open how that hurt her. She looked at him sadly and this time she had tears in eyes.

"I guess I deserved that question... No, he is not around. I haven't seen him since we brought back Avery from Germany."

"Are you two in touch?"

"No, we're not. Although I do have his number should we need his expertise again. But that's all. I'm not involved with him. There is nothing going on. I promise." She said and he nodded.

"Jane I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you but it just..."

"I understand. And I am glad you told me. That's good, right?"

"Yeah, I think it is..." And although he knew it was a bad idea, he reached for her and hugged her. She melted into his arms.

They continued their walk then, she told him about Avery and how her unofficial interrogation went and how she was holding up, she told him about Zapata and Patterson and their help... and so they talked and it was nice and comfortable.

"So, we're doing this, right?" He asked her.

"Yes, we are." She said as they reached Allison's house.

"I think I should go back to New York." Jane informed him.

"I'll see you at work then." Kurt replied. "And we're gonna grab coffee together." He added and she smiled at him.

"Jane, about the ring..." and he had to take a deep breath. "I'll add mine to yours in the safe. So we're on the same page."

"Okay." She replied and to her surprise there was a shade or regret in her heart.

"But as far as I am concerned, I'm still your husband." He clarified and she looked into his eyes and nodded.

"And I am your wife." She told him. He reached out to caress her face and she let him. It was a beautiful moment.

"Kurt, about New York. How do you want to do it with living arrangements?" She asked.

"Well you and Avery should keep the apartment. I'll talk to Reede and we'll figure something out so I wouldn't have to stay in the hotel. How does that sound?" He offered as he knew living in a hotel was not possible for longer periods of time. And he just couldn't come back there to live with them.

"It sounds good." And she could only hope he would call the apartment his home again.