I'm done with my classes for today but I don't feel like going back to my shitty apartment. Mostly because I feel a magnetic pull trying to take me back to a different shitty apartment. Well, actually, it's not that shitty. It's tidier, smells better, and the lights work better.

As I was leaving the campus, I was stopped by an upperclassman in the boxing club. I think his name is Tadashi or something. I can't really remember. But I do know that he is one of my clients and personality-wise, he's a piece of crap. But he is oh-so-good in bed. Hey, I give credit where credit is due.

"Hey, Kanbara!" he calls out to me.

I restrain myself from giving him a rude response. "What is it?"

He drapes an arm around me but not in a flirtatious manner. It was more shady and confidential, like a pot dealer trying to hide the fact that he was selling drugs by pretending to be friends with the buyer. "Listen, the team has a match on Friday but we've been having a bit of a losing streak. We're all really stressed so I figured that we'd use you to let out our pent up frustrations. You think you could drop by on Thursday evening for a little motivation training?"

This guy is literally inviting me to a gangbang on school grounds. And people say I have no shame. Also, notice how I say gangbang and not orgy. The thing about sports teams is that they're generally all straight, meaning with a male partner, they're tops. How else do you think everyone knows me as the school slut?

"It's fine," I reply nonchalantly. What am I supposed to do? Reject the boxing team? They'd pulverize me. Besides, I don't expect to be having a good fuck in a while. And no offense to Tomoki but he wasn't very good at being a top. I may have been moaning to be polite.

"Good," he pats my shoulder. I think he may have dislocated it. "We'll be expecting you in the locker room at six."

"Sure," I mutter before escaping him. "I'll see you then!"

The commute to Tomoki's apartment was an uneventful one so I won't mention any of the unnecessary details. When I got there, Tomoki wasn't home so I let myself in. I have a spare key but I always knock anyway. It wasn't until five PM that Tomoki actually came back.

"Shinya," Tomoki greets me as he takes off his shoes.

He doesn't seem that surprised to see me but he doesn't seem all too happy either. It was like he was hoping to avoid confronting me. Crap. Does that mean he's going to try to avoid me because of what we did last night?

"Um… Hey," was all I could say. I was suddenly parched. Usually, I'm really good with words but I get so tongue-tied around Tomoki.

An awkward silence fell between us. Not good. Our silences are usually comfortable, not the opposite. I knew it was a mistake to have sex with him.

Tomoki moves over to the kitchen and started pouring rice into the rice cooker. "I'm going to get a head start on dinner. You can just watch TV while you wait or something."

I don't like this. I want to talk about something. About last night. About something that would break this awkwardness. "I saw Izumi today, before she headed off for her other shoot. She told me that her photographer is actually gay. Can you believe that?"

A pause and I see him press his lips together as if he has some sort of guilty secret. "…I saw Junpei today. And I told him about what we did," Tomoki confesses.

That explains it. Junpei must've freaked out or something and he's probably had some reaction to Tomoki that made Tomoki even more self-conscious! I've never disliked the old man before, mostly because he is serious masculine eye candy, but for once, I do.

"And let me guess, he was disgusted," I huff.

Tomoki shakes his head. "Actually… he told me some interesting things. I'm not quite sure if I'm allowed to share."

"What?! That's not fair! I told you about Atsushi-san!"

"Who?"

"Izumi's photographer, that's his first name."

"Oh…"

I couldn't take it anymore. "Do you regret what we did last night?"

Tomoki seems startled that I even brought it up and now I knew for sure I made a mistake last night. I grab my bag and was about to push my way through the door so I won't have to hear his answer but he stops me. He pulls me back and kisses me on the mouth. Like before, there was no playing, it was a pure and innocent kiss that I still wanted more of.

"You're an idiot," Tomoki says breathlessly when he pulls back.

"Then what was that for?" I ask.

"To make sure you know that I don't regret it," he states firmly. I could feel the heat from his body because he was so close and I could see the tint of red rising to his face. "I'm just afraid that something is going to go wrong and we can never go back to being friends."

"Don't be stupid," I reply. "I'm supposed to be the idiot in this relationship, not you." Izumi told me to stay away if I really valued our friendship but something about Tomoki just made me gravitate towards him. I can't ignore my feeling for him any longer. "If you enjoyed it, if you feel like you like me, then just say so."

"Wasn't that kiss enough?" he inquires. There's the humor I was missing.

I pressed my forehead against his and caressed his cheek with the back of my hand. "I need to hear you say it. I need to have it out in the open so that I know for sure that this is real and not some cruel dream my mind has made up."

There was a short pause but Tomoki wasn't about to risk having me walk out on him again, I could tell. "I like you Shinya. I really like you."

"Good," I say before kissing him again, more passionately this time and he reciprocated. We kissed each other for what felt like hours before pulling apart, gasping for air. "I've liked you for so fucking long that it hurts to let it all out now."

I was about to drag him into his bedroom but he quickly slips out of my grasp. I was still in motion so I almost fell over but I caught myself.

"Wait, Shinya!" Tomoki says. "I'm not ready to do… it… again."

He can read me so well. "But I thought you said…"

"I said I like you," Tomoki explains. "But if we're actually going to be lovers then I don't think we should be having so much sex. We'll just end up with a purely physical relationship rather than an actual one."

I'm impatient and horny, Tomoki knows these things about me but I could tell he was serious about this. And seeing his face, there was just no way that I could simply say no to him. "I guess so… But if we're going to be lovers, then don't we need to go on dates? Are you sure about going out in public as a gay couple?"

"Well… No, not really" he admits. It should sting, even a little, but he is just too cute.

"Well, I guess stay-at-home dates aren't uncommon nowadays," I chuckle before coming up with another idea. "Lovers also tend to live together, so how about if I move in? I can pack up my bags and be back here in about an hour at most." I knew I was rushing things but like I said, I'm impatient.

"Uh, well, I don't really mind you living here. That's not much different from everyday life honestly," Tomoki says. "But there is one thing that definitely has to change."

Uh-oh, he sounds real serious here. "And what's that?"

He takes a deep breath as if he's about to go on a long rant. "You can't be acting like a plaything for other guys anymore. If you're going to be my lover then you should know that it's not right to do things like that."

Of course I know that! It just slipped my mind that I would have to stop visiting clients. But now that it's back in my mind, I realize that I have to somehow cancel my appointment with the boxing club. I don't think that's going to go over so well. "I can… do that…"

"You don't sound so sure about that," Tomoki points out.

I don't want to tell him about the boxing club because he'd just get worried and put himself on the line just like he's always done before. The first time when I started behaving like the local whore, I ended up stupidly asking out an upperclassman in the basketball club. He was generally nice to me but it was only when I asked him out that I realized he was just taking pity on me because he was disgusted that I had done that. He actually tried to physically harm me and if it weren't for Tomoki, I actually could've gotten seriously hurt.

"It's fine," I laugh, trying to put up a believable front. "I just have a couple clients lined up and now I have to cancel on them. No big deal, just a couple of desperate boys who need to relieve themselves of stress or a couple others who are curious." My curious clients are always my secret ones so hopefully, Tomoki will stop asking.

"Oh, okay then…," Tomoki nods understandingly. It worked!

It's time to change the topic of conversation. "So, about this morning… Were you able to sort out your confusion? I know you were really worried about whether or not you were actually gay."

"…I lied this morning," Tomoki confesses. Lots of that happening today. "I said I didn't know about the kiss and if it really affected me but the truth is, it did work for me. I enjoyed the kiss about as much as I enjoyed the sex, maybe a little less because I am a hormonal teenage guy."

I still love that humor of his. "So, are you saying you're gay or bi now?"

"No…," Tomoki shakes his head. I try to hide my disappointment and puzzlement. "If you phrase it like that, it implies that I suddenly became gay or bi. No, I think I was always bi because I've had interests and temptations before you but I was simply too afraid to admit it. So, I'm not 'saying I'm gay or bi now', I'm saying I've always been this way."

"That's… great," I exhale. I couldn't believe how happy I felt when I heard him say that. Maybe I was scared that I pushed him into making this decision of going out with me. "One more thing, how long will it be until we can actually have sex again?"

The look he gave me showed disapproval but I knew that he expected this from me. "When I feel like I'm ready to do it again," he answers. "You can't possibly be that impatient can you? If you're horny, then just jerk off like a normal guy."

Oh? "So, how often did you jerk off considering you've never had sex before last night?" I decide to ask. I love seeing how flustered he looks when he realized what I asked. He's just too cute! "Do you do it to porn? Hentai? Doujinshi?"

"That's not important!" Tomoki coughed. "Why don't we go to your place to bring your stuff here?"

"Wait, so you really want me to move in with you?"

"Is that wrong?"

"No… It's just that… Right now?"

Tomoki tilts his head to the side as he tries to figure me out before dead panning. "You're turned on right now, aren't you?"

I looked away. "Maybe…"

"How?"

"Your cute face."

"I don't think that would be enough."

"When we kissed, it really excited me and now… I can't bring it back down," I chuckle nervously. That was when Tomoki notices the tent I've pitched in my cramped jeans. For any of the ladies reading this, that is not comfortable in the slightest. Probably one of the worst feelings but it's worse if we're out in public. Adjustments are not easy to do out there. Or at least not stealthily anyway.

Tomoki sighs and kneels down, his face only centimeters away from my crotch. He unhooks my belt and unzips my jeans. He's not actually going to do what he's about to, is he? He must've been able to tell that I felt confused again because he pauses and looks up at me.

"I'm not ready to have full-out sex again but I can at least fix this little problem," Tomoki shyly tells me.

God, he is just too cute! "Are you sure?" I question. "I mean, as far as I know, this is going to be your first time…"

Tomoki gave a slight nod as he unveils my hard cock. I could tell that he was really nervous so I decided to guide him through it a little.

I brushed my hand through his brown hair and gently pulled him closer to my hot, throbbing member. "Just take it slow. I'm not expecting you to deep throat or anything."

Tomoki nods as he tenderly grabs my cock with one hand and puts his lips around it. In all honestly, it's been a while since I last had a blowjob too and he wasn't that bad for his first time. I could feel his tongue wrapping around my dick as he moved forward and back along the first half of it.

I release a couple moans of pleasure which was a good enough signal as any to show Tomoki that he was doing a decent job. About another minute into it and I realized that he was no longer sucking but licking around the base which felt just as good, if not, better than before. He even decided to suck on one of my balls a little before going back to sucking. I realize a little too late how close I am to reaching my climax.

"Shit! I'm–!" Too late. But it's enough of a warning for Tomoki to pull his head back but not before I came all over his face and a little bit into his mouth. "Sorry…"

Tomoki rubs my seed off of his face and starts spitting. "Ugh, that tastes awful…" He rubs his mouth, trying to get the taste of my semen out of his mouth.

"Really?" I blink. I help him up and lick some of my markings off of his cheek. "I like the taste, even if it is my own."

"It's too salty for me…," Tomoki coughs as he goes for a towel in the kitchen. "Next time, give me an earlier warning."

"Sorry…," I say again as I grab a tissue and wipe off the rest of the leaking cum off my dick before putting it back in my pants. "I zoned out. You're not half bad with giving blowjobs. Are you sure that was your first time?"

"I'm pretty sure," he nods after washing his face. "Do you actually swallow that stuff though?"

"Usually," I nod before planting a small kiss on his lips. "I don't really care if you hate the taste of my semen but what about my cock? Did you at least enjoy tasting that?"

Tomoki pauses and kisses me again. "Admittedly, I did. It was really warm and smelled really musky, not bad for someone who prefers to sit around the couch rather than do actual exercise." Ouch. A compliment mixed with an insult, how typical of him.

"You can be such a tsundere," I chuckled.

"I know," he replies before throwing my keys over to me into my open palm. "Now come on, I thought you wanted to move in."

I almost forgot. "Right." I threw an arm over his shoulders but unlike the previous arm draping, this one was intimate and flirtatious. "So, out of curiosity, where do you want me to sleep? I was thinking there was enough space on your bed for a cozy cuddling before sleeping."

"Don't get your hopes up," he shoots back but I could tell he was perfectly fine with having me sleep in the same bed.

-X-

I heave a sigh of relief once I was done talking to my landlady about letting me out of my lease. Lucky for me, she had a niece who was a major fan of Izumi and guess who had a couple of autographed Izumi merchandise in case a situation like this ever arose? Indirectly thanks to Izumi, I was able to get out of my lease and now I can go back to my (former) apartment to finish packing everything up.

I walk back into the apartment to find Tomoki sitting on the living room floor staring at an assortment of my belongings in front of him. Many of the belongings were incredibly perverted meaning gay porn magazines, dildos, other various sex toys including ropes used for bondage, and of course, porn DVDs. I actually forgot that I had all of this stuff just lying around but then again, I didn't exactly have the time to hide any of this.

"Why the hell do you need all of this stuff if you go around having sex with random guys all the time?" Tomoki asks me as I kneel down beside him.

"I'm a pretty big pervert," I respond as if he doesn't know that already. "But hey, none of this stuff counts as cheating on you if I use them, so it's okay for me to keep them, right? And if you want, when you're ready, you can go ahead and use these too."

I just love seeing him blush like that. "I don't want to use these! Why do you have harnesses for bondage anyway?"

"Some of my clients are into some sadistic shit," I reply. "And well, I'm not light on masochism. Sometimes it gets into the opposite roles but I'm not much of a sadist. Well, I like having people beg but that's pretty much it."

Tomoki looks like he's having a migraine and I knew what he was thinking. He was thinking that he fell into the world of Fifty Shades of Grey. Hey, the only fantasy scene I want to reenact from that book is the part where the protagonist is getting a job right out of college. Besides, it's a straight couple, as if I could keep reading that crap without wanting to puke.

"Please… Throw these out… I'm fine with you keeping the rest but put it someplace where I don't have to see it," Tomoki sighs.

"No problem," I promise. I can live without BDSM material anyway.

And with that, we move along, packing my stuff into boxes and moving them into the trunk of our cars. I handled all of the perverted stuff and decided that my S&M stuff would be given to a pen pal as an early Christmas gift. He's an extremely masochistic American boy who I've never met in real life but always wanted to fuck. He wanted the same but he'll just have to take my gift as an apology for not being able to have sex. Eh, he'll understand, he knows all about how hopelessly I've fallen for Tomoki.

"What are you looking at?" Tomoki asks as he put the last box in his car.

"You…," I said in response as I walk up to him and kissed him right in the middle of the street, not caring who saw us together. "I love you Tomoki. I don't expect you to reply with the same but I just wanted to let you know."

Tomoki pulls away from me, not because he didn't want to be near me but unlike me, he's not comfortable with PDA yet.

He doesn't reply to what I said and that's okay with me because I don't expect a reply from him yet. "Let's go back to the apartment," he says quietly.

I'm not afraid of ruining anything just yet. It's too early to think about that. I know how I feel and I now have some idea of how Tomoki feels about me. One day, I hope he'll say that he loves me too but for now, I'm just so happy to have him in my life.

"Yeah…," I nod as I get into my car. "Let's go home."

Let's go back home and stay there forever. Those are the types of things I want to say to Tomoki but I can't because I know he's not ready to hear them just yet. I'm impatient but for him, I can wait. I will wait. Because I love Tomoki Himi.