Thank you, Pillow of Winds by Pink Floyd, for inspiring this chapter. I only wish I got more feed back on this story. I feel like my writing is going to waste. Then again, this is a small section of FFN to be writing for ;A;
I can't believe this took so long to get out. I blame school. Yup. School needs to crawl in a hole and die and then vomit all over itself then drown in said bodily fluids so I can write more.
...Maybe I'm being over dramatic.
OPAQUE:
A Foggy Emotion of Despair
"Let's have a party," My memories echo.
My head slowly raised from my plate to shoot my husband a quizzical glance. He returned the gesture with a small smile.
"Of course! Yes, we totally should!" Aubrey clapped her hands, squealing loudly. Hannah nodded enthusiastically. I remember that I innerly rolled my eyes.
"For our anniversary, right?" Bay's calm voice quickly quieted the room. Hannah and Aubrey stared at her as if she was from another planet.
Jeremy dipped his head. "Exactly."
"Okay," was my only response. I excused myself and headed upstairs...
About a month or two had passed since my buying; I honestly wasn't sure for time seemed nonexistent here. Days came and went fast with Bay, night and day mixed into one ugly muddle of information. We were never called down to dinner unless invited by Jeremy, which was rare. We were told he was out and about. I could only wish that I was out and about.
My pain for my family ached inside every bone, every heart beat sung for them, every breath whispered their names. But as the time passed I started to forget their faces. Their voices. Their smiles. They were my past life, and this was my life now, no matter whether I liked it or not. And, scarily enough, a tiny part of me did.
I stood by the pool, sipping on a glass of sweetened raspberry tea, twirling the little umbrella in my hands. I wore a deep blue party dress that Marie claimed made my eyes even bluer with matching flats. I was glad the fabric flowed and didn't cling to my body and was at a modest length just above my knees. I hated any sort of skimpy outfit.
Bay stood by my side in a matching pink dress and shoes. Somewhere, Hannah was dressed in green and Aubrey in red, but they didn't matter to me. They were on another man's arm, dancing the night away, searching for the elusive Jeremy. Even though Jeremy promised more time to his wives, he was failing miserably.
"At least he hasn't been trying to...you know...have children." As always, Bay seemed to read my mind. I nodded in agreement.
"You ladies want to dance?" Two gentlemen asked, offering their hands. They reeked of whiskey and wine.
"No thank you," I shook my head. Bay quickly agreed. But, despite our protests, we were swept up onto the dance floor.
The huge gazebo served as the dancing area, twinkling with strung up rainbow lights and vibrating with a violent, resonant beat. I knew somewhere in the crowd were the other wives, but the outskirts were only men and the odor of intoxication as the darkness descended upon us, twinkling stars mere pinholes in the ebony curtain of night.
The drunk man rubbed his body against mine, muttering incoherent things in my ears, laughing at his own stupid jokes and cackling every time he stepped on my feet. His hands rubbed slow circled up and down my body, one hand traveling higher and higher while the other traveled lower, down towards my hips-
I tore away from him, stomping down on his feet. He let out a roar of pain and fury and moved to grab me but I was too quick.
When I finally escaped to the fringes of the dance floor I rushed off of the gazebo, fighting for breath. I strode towards the pool, hand in my hair while the other rested over my heart. I couldn't take it here. I couldn't stay here. I had to leave. I had to leave. I couldn't leave. I would never leave-
I sat down, folding my feet beside me as I tried to calm my mind which was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I twirled my hair, taking deep breaths. I needed to breath. To bath in the pale glow of the moon now that I was away from the chaos unfolding on the gazebo.
"Are...are you alright?"
I looked up to find Jeremy standing over me, a worried look on his face. I swallowed, not replying.
Jeremy sat down next to me, looking me in the eye. "You look so pretty tonight. I've been trying to dance with all of you but every dance Hannah and Aubrey want me all to themselves," he smiled sheepishly.
'Then go find them,' I wanted to tell him. 'They'll love you much more than I ever will.'
"Thank you," I responded. "You look very nice too."
"Do you want to dance?" Jeremy asked.
"I'm not the best dancer," I said honestly.
A grin spread across his face, lighting up his handsome features. "Neither am I. We can suck together,"
Like my life here, I was pulled to my feet and plunged back into the mayhem that was the dance floor. I shivered involuntarily as we passed the drinking session and Jeremy offered his arm. For once, I gladly took it.
Once in the heart of the throng, Jeremy started off with a pitiful boogie. It was enough to bring a smile to my face. Jeremy's smile widened even further when he caught me grinning at him.
'I'm laughing at you, don't you know?' I think. 'But...you make this kind of fun. Maybe I will play wife...'
My hips started to sway and my head nodded with the beat. As the beat quickens and the bass thumps, I gradually beginning to emerge, memories swirling through my mind.
My little brother took my hand, attempting to twirl me under his arm. I duck, spinning underneath his grasp before he reaches up to place his hand on my hips and we waltz across the room to the downtempo.
The colors are swirling faster and people are whooping and shouting as they dance. Jeremy and I move in synch, not perfect dancers but not totally sucking either.
My little sister took her turn with Kaleb. My father twirled me about as we stepped, perfecting our dance.
All of a sudden my father stooped down to kiss my forehead, his paternal gaze sad.
"We miss you, Charlie,"
My memories shatter before me as grief swells through my body. "I have to take a break,"
"You sure?"
I try to look out of breath for Jeremy's sake. "Yeah, I'm just going to sit down over there,"
As I move to a nearby bench, I spotted my husband heading over to the bar, offering his hand to a waiting Bay. She downed her glass of wine, took his hand, and the two are just in time for a slow dance.
I buried my face in my hands, trapped in swirling recollections.
I sat on my bed in the darkness, the only light pooling in through the open door. A door creaked open nearby, two shadows spreading across the ground. They were followed by Bay and Jeremy, holding hands, giggling and shushing one another. I got up, moving to the doorway as they teetered down the hall, interlocked hands swinging. Jeremy pressed Bay against the wall and she smiled as their lips met in a drunken exchange of love. Again and again they met till Bay gave a tiny moan and grabbed his shirt, pulling her lips to his ear. He nodded and gave her an inebriated, lopsided grin and they both entered her room, shutting the door behind them.
I slowly returned to mine, crawled under the covers, and grabbed a pillow to smother my screams.
The next week I spent alone. Bay occasionally joined me, but I couldn't look her in the eye and gave her a cold shoulder. She didn't understand why.
It was the morning after the party. I sat at the piano, slowly tapping out high plinks in a lonely tune. Hannah strode in, her arms folded with a cross expression with a blonde companion close behind. Bay walked in a way I could only describe as somewhat dreamy. She winced slightly whenever she took to large of a step.
"She's been following me all morning," Hannah complained. "She won't leave me alone,"
Bay sat down in a chair and picked up a book. I quickly noticed that it was upside down.
"Maybe she wants to tell you something," I replied softly.
"Or rub something in my face," Hannah snorted with a frigid glimpse at Bay.
Bay ignored us, a small, amused smile toying on the corner of her lips as she tried to figure out why she couldn't process her book properly.
Sure I loved Bay, but at this moment I couldn't muster up the urge to forgive her. Or pity her.
"Cheer up, Charlie!" Kiri chirped as I helped her tend to the flowers. "You've seem so down lately."
"Sorry, Kiri," I apologized, plucking a shriveled bud from a luscious bush. I rolled the bud between my fingers, tucking it away into my pocket.
"There's nothing to apologize for, sweetie. Maybe you just need some more time outside or with your dear in-law."
"Where has Jeremy been lately?" I asked suddenly. Kiri smiled, taking a moment to water a flowering plant before she responded.
"Helping his father with work. We have been selling lumber lately, and it's a bit chaotic. I never thought cutting down and selling trees and plants would be so time-consuming. He hasn't had much time for you girls has he?"
'For one he's had plenty,' I thought bitterly. Instead I responded, "No. He hasn't."
"I'll make sure he does," Kiri said sweetly.
I was dismissed and sent to dinner. When I entered the room, Aubrey and Hannah were conspiring on one side of the table, their whispered debate quick and choppy. I sat down next to Bay but she didn't look up.
"Sorry I'm late," I told Jeremy who sat at the head of the table.
"No problem," Jeremy assured me before he dove back into his pile of paperwork by his plate. I began to eat. By the time dinner was over, Bay had hardly even touched her food. Bay was always hungry. I examined her closely. Her face was a but paler than usual and there was a fine sheen of sweat on her forehead. My hand brushed my pocket.
"Bay, are you-?"
Before I could even finish my sentence, Bay got to her feet with a dazed look on her face. Spun around with a ragged gulp and vomited.
"Bay!" I cried.
"Ewwww!" Aubrey squealed. Jeremy leaped to his feet, screaming at the staff and wrapped his arms around Bay before she collapsed in his arms, her head lolling about.
"Oh my gosh, Bay!" I whispered in shock, unable to say anything more. Tears pricked hot at the back of my eyes and overflowed, streaming down my face.
"What's wrong with her?" Even Hannah was worried.
"I don't know!" Jeremy shouted, his voice tight with fear. "Dad?! DAD?!"
Member of the staff rushed into room along with Jeremy's father. Together they laid Bay carefully onto the ground away from the puke. The wives and I were ushered up to our rooms to wait. In the elevator I noticed even Hannah was fighting back tears. Aubrey was sobbing and clinging to me, terrified for our sister wife.
I sat with Aubrey in her room, Hannah shutting herself up in her own as Aubrey cried into my shoulder. The small thing was much frailer than she pretended to be, sniffling and hiccuping with little animal-like noises.
About an hour of waiting torture Marie finally came up to Aubrey's room, followed by Aubrey's domestic; a small girl with black hair and dark pale eyes.
"Charlie," Marie muttered close to my ear. I was surprised at the informality. "Charlie, Bay's-"
"Is she alright?" I uttered. Marie leaned close to my ear, her lips brushing my skin.
"Charlie...Bay...Bay is expecting a baby."
There was hidden glee in her voice, coated by the fact that she probably wished it was me having the baby. She wished she could be the domestic that got to help care for the next little heiress.
I could only watch as my vision spun and grew opaque before I tumbled into darkness.
- Prism Fire -