I can't breathe.

I just sat there, staring into space. Nothing even mattered any more. Mrs. Knight had taken Katie out for a drive around. That usually made her feel better, and the doctor wouldn't let you have visitors. Not that it mattered. You were going to die anyway.

I killed you.

It was like one of those moments like this in a movie, where you see the broken main character stand up like they're in a trance and walk into their room, or walk to the car and drive to the nearest cliff. I was getting up and walking over to the kitchen. I opened one of the drawers and saw your mom's huge bread knife. I held it tightly, feeling beads of sweat slide down my forehead.

I walked into the room you and I used to share. Your bed is still a mess, the way it was when you got up the morning of the crash. It was almost as if you never left.

I looked at the knife, choking on my own sobs as I held it in my right hand and held out my left hand. I told you I loved you, and looked where it got us. You didn't love me anyway. I know what you were going to say

I don't love you.

I don't like guys.

I don't feel more than friendship for you.

There are more options but they all mean pretty much the same thing. Maybe you didn't love me the way I loved you, but you cared. You always cared, no matter what.

I remember when we were twelve; I was spending the night at your house when your mom got a phone call. It was about your cousin phoebe. I'd met her before, and I though she was a lot like you. Even though she was two years older, you were really close.

Your uncle told your mom that Phoebe had slit her wrists. When he found her it'd been too late. No one had ever expected it, but she had obviously felt there was no point in existing anymore. Maybe the same thing that's happened to me happened to her.

You cried all night after your mom told you. You couldn't understand how she would do something like actually killing herself. I remember even when I woke up in the middle of the night, you were still crying. I just held you while you cried for Phoebe. I'm glad you can't see me now.

Slice. Slice.

I watched the blood fall all over the floor. I didn't do anything to stop it. My head was starting to spin.

I didn't realise I was on my knees until I heard the door open and a frightened yell, then two hands pulling me off the floor. I hear someone screaming my name before everything went black.

I woke up to see white. Everywhere. White walls, white ceiling, and white bed sheets. I knew I wasn't dead. I was angry. Who interrupted me? Then I saw a flash of green mixed in with all the white.

Then a voice.

"Logan?"

I know that voice. I know you.

I sat up so suddenly my head hurt. "Kendall!" You were sitting there, in a wheelchair. But you were alive. That was good enough. "You're alive!" I whispered, feeling tears slide down my cheeks. It was so much to take in, and I can't really explain why.

"Yeah," you grinned. "I'm ok. What about you?"

"Yeah I'm alright."

"Does your head hurt?"

"No, why?"

I was surprised when you smacked me across the back of my head. "How about now? What the fuck were you thinking?"

I just shrugged, rubbing the back of my head.

"Don't you ever do that again! You know James is still hyperventilating? And Katie is in floods of tears! And . . ." you stopped, breathing hard.

"I swear to God," you continued slowly. "If you ever do that again, I'll bring you back to life and kill you again. Don't think I won't do it!"

I couldn't help smiling at you. You were so perfect. Too good for me, really. Maybe it was best if you didn't love me.

"Logan, remember what happened before I blacked out?"

I gulped. Oh no. "Yeah?"

"Did you . . ." you trailed off, looking at the floor. "Did you mean it?"

I shut my eyes. "Yes. I meant it."

"That's . . . great."

"WHAT?" My eyes flew open. "You said you didn't love me."

"When did I say that?"

"You were like, 'I don't' then you just passed out. I know what you were going to say."

"Oh. That." You nodded slowly. "Yeah, that's not what I was gonna say."

I was so severely confused. "So, what were you going to say?"

"You said you didn't want to exist without me, right? Well, I was going to say that . . . I don't want to exist without you either."

You stopped for a minute. "Logan, I love you too. And it wasn't your fault that I passed out. I was already really dizzy. Honestly, i could barely hear what you were saying."

"Oh." I sighed. "Well, then. Do you want to consider going out with me, at some point?"

You laughed and lightly kissed me on the forehead. "i wouldn't miss it."

Now the story is over! Please review!