This chapter and the next chapter will focus on season 4, I will do the same thing for each season for 2 chapters as the story goes on. I wanted to do a story with not much dialog and so far I enjoy writing this because it's a little different than my other fics. So, I loved season 4, Barney being in love with Robin was great to watch, their relationship in that season was great so I wanted to show where their feelings are and how they came to be and why they decided to try a relationship at the end of that season.
Also, I want to make it clear that Robin was NOT having any feelings for Ted during this season and wanted to really give her a POV because she never got to have that much in the show. Robin has feelings for Barney, during the entire season 4 season and I wanted to show that she did have feelings for him when you don't see those feelings be returned until the end of the season. But, I have this headcanon that Robin was having feelings for Barney during season 4 and after but I will get to that in later season chapters. But, I believe Robin doesn't have any feelings for Ted after season 3, at least. So I wanted to give her an opinion and show her feelings in her own way. She, I believe only starts to think about or go to Ted when she's feeling alone, lonely or is losing Barney and everything she does between season 3 and season 9 is because of Barney. I want to believe that she doesn't have feelings for anyone except Barney after they sleep together.
I also love that Robin is the type to latch onto someone as a crutch and that's why she let's herself let Ted do whatever he wants for her but isn't truly in love with him and I don't think she ever really will be. Her focus is on Barney after they sleep together and that's another headcanon I have.
Through the summer of 2008, Barney and Robin had found themselves becoming more closer, not just as friends but they really started to understand each other more than both thought already. After, they decided to make their own pact with each other by agreeing to always never lose each other. They high fived in their Barney & Robin way but it didn't feel like their other high fives because this highfive had a promise to it, the other high fives were simply for fun or in the heat of a conversation or excitement but this one was much more important. After, they high fived Robin left Barney's apartment and went home.
Before this happened, Robin had been really depressed and unhappy for days. Of course, no one knew that she was feeling this way, she did her normal thing and didn't let her feelings show in her daily routines. She would go to work, act like everything was fine and normal, do the news, either go home or go to the bar but she tried to not let her unknown feelings for Barney show. She, meets up with the gang at the bar, Barney would also be there but neither of them really talked to each other or looked at each other much during that time. The more she and Barney had kept a distance from each other, the more she felt like she was losing him. Losing their friendship, losing just having an easy lighthearted conversation with him, losing the ability to look at herself in the mirror whenever she needed to and most of all she thought that she was losing her best friend.
So, that's why Robin ended up at Barney's door hoping that he wasn't mad at her or regretting their night together or is sad or sick, other than him getting hit by a bus and breaking almost every bone in his body that is. She wanted to know, she had to see him because all she knew is that there was some part of her that really missed him. She missed seeing him, missed talking to him, missed laughing at his jokes rather it was a dirty joke or just an on the cuff kind of joke, she missed sitting next to him at the booth and him sitting so close that she could literally feel his body heat up against herself, causing her mind to start going to that fantasy place in her mind. The place where her fantasy and her reality start to mess with her mind. She just missed being around him, for some reason she felt like she already lost him and if she let this odd tension and awkwardness go on she thought that she just might end up losing him, that's the last thing she wants so she ends up kind of apologizing to Barney about what had happened between them and after that the days, weeks and the short three months went by and before they knew it they were both feeling easier around each other and like their friendship was still intact.
That summer, they hung out almost everyday, Robin would go to Barney's to help him in his recovery from his accident. They would talk and hang out, Robin would cook and clean for him because he couldn't do that himself, and he never cooks anyway so that was a plus.
During the summer they discovered new things about each other, like why Barney doesn't have any food in his refrigerator and why he doesn't like to show his real self more rather than his fake self or selves. They talked about everything from their pasts to what they both have been up to recently. They talked about everything but the elephant in the room regarding their feelings for each other.
The summer went by and soon it was the fall, as the seasons change so does Barney demeanor when it comes to holding his true feelings in. He started to say and do things that were out of character, but nobody noticed. He tried to be his normal/natural self while being around the gang, the only one who did notice was Robin, but she didn't say anything and acted like there was nothing going on with Barney or herself. She knew, though that he had been acting quite oddly in recent days but didn't want to ask him what's going on and she didn't want the gang to ask questions either. But, she knew why Barney was acted unlike himself, it's the same reason why when they all meet up at the bar earlier she tried to stay calm and not show any feelings or ask any questions.
When, Robin comes to the bar after a long work day she has had it with her job. She hated it, that was saying a little. She couldn't stand the people at the station, she hated the puns they make her do all the time, she hated how little her boss cared about the news or being professional. She just wanted out of this job, but knew she had to stay out of loyalty and the fact that this job is all she has at this time.
So, when she got to Maclaren's she was pissed, started to ramble on about how much her job sucked. Everybody, didn't really seem to care about her ramblings except for Barney. Who without her noticing, had been staring at her since she sat down at the table and started to talk about her job. He wanted to help her, but didn't know if he should do something so he himself started to ramble on about how great she is and how the joke that wasn't so much a joke was funny. Nobody, caught onto his rambling but he noticed that Lily was looking at him weirdly when he went on about how great Robin's joke was.
That's when he made up his mind that if he doesn't talk to someone about these weird feelings for Robin then he will burst. He hated this feeling, the feeling that he wanted to avoid and told himself to never do… Have feelings for a girl again.
The last time he put himself out there for some girl was Shannon when he first met her but after she dumped him he told himself never to have those feelings again for anyone no matter who they are or how much he has been dreaming of her smile every time he sees her rather it was in real life or in his dreams. There's no doubt in his mind, he has these feelings for Robin, feelings he can't hold in any longer, feelings that he told himself years ago never to have again, feelings that makes him want to say something or run away, so far away that he would forget that Robin Scherbatsky existed. But, he decides that he can't hold this in any longer or he will do something he will regret.
When, Lily comes by after he blows up her phone with calls during the night before. He wanted to just come out with it, right then and there at his front door but instead he let Lily in and started to do the thing he did yesterday at the bar, ramble on about nonsense until Lily stops him.
"I think I'm in love with Robin." He looks pained to say this aloud, but it feels good to get it out, he feels like a load is off his back. He's held this in for so long, he knew that he felt something for Robin but he never admitted to anyone let alone himself that he's in love. The feelings he's feeling is love, deep, yearning love, the kind of love he told himself never to do again. He's in love, if he's really thinking of it as love, he's never actually felt like this before, not even for Shannon.
The moment he said it though, he wanted to take it back but he couldn't so Lily paused and then a minute later smiled and said "that is great" causing Barney to look dumbfounded because he didn't expect her to think his feelings are great. He thought she would say that he is crazy, that Robin doesn't feel anything for him besides friendship but instead she tells him it's great.
"It is not great." He says sitting down on the couch in a heat feeling like someone's just punched him in the stomach. He feels deflated in someway, he just doesn't know what to feel.
Now, Lily knew that Barney was serious about his feelings for Robin and after he tried to ask her out after he embarrassed himself by saying when she got her period. Lily, knew for the first time since knowing Barney, that this new Barney, this new feelings/type Barney, the crazy Barney she knew wasn't there and this new Barney was very present and very serious. She's never seen him like this, ever and that's when she puts a plan into action and calls Robin herself, setting up a secret/blind date for her and Barney without either Barney or Robin knowing it was a set up.
Luckily, Robin agreed to meet Lily for a lunch date but it wasn't her that Robin was meeting with. Instead, she dragged Barney out of his apartment, and to the restaurant where Lily told Robin to meet her there.
Robin wouldn't find out that Lily set her and Barney up on that lunch date for another few month, after Barney and Robin decided to stop ignoring their feelings for each other. Barney told her one day when they were out to dinner, which was at the very restaurant they had their 'first date' in. Robin wasn't at all surprised that Lily set them up on a date, but she didn't mind having lunch with Barney alone. They hadn't been alone together in weeks. Robin had been busy with work and didn't have time to see Barney but by then Barney was fully recovered from his accident and was healing really quickly so she didn't need to help him anymore. While, Robin focused on work Barney needed to find an a distraction so he did what he normally does, sleeps with whoever he gets to sleep with while still fantasizing about Robin. Robin's hair in between his fingers, Robin mouth kissing him everywhere on his body, their bodies connecting in such a way that he knew that he never had that type of feelings with anyone or allowed himself to have that kind of feeling for anyone.
But, Robin. She was different, there hasn't been a moment since that night together where he hasn't thought about her. Fantasized about her. Wanted her. In such a way that whomever he slept with he thought of Robin and tried to forget about her in the same. He simply didn't know how to feel.
Then, their date came unexpectedly from Lily and after that he really couldn't deny it anymore. He was in love, what he told Lily was absolutely the truth. He wanted to tell her that day that he was in love with her, but she left without him getting out what he wanted to tell her.
Robin, however left the restaurant feeling regretful about leaving the way she did. The reason she left him the way she did and pushed that waitress to him was because she knew that he was about to tell her something, something that would change their relationship even more but she didn't want to hear what he wanted to tell her so she chicken out like she usually does when it comes to feelings and left.
She knows, however that she does have feelings for Barney. That fact has been true and real for months, she knows that Barney seems to be feeling the same way. So, for months she denied it, ran to Japan just to get away from her own feelings, it had nothing to do with Ted or him getting married but she told herself that it was because of that just to stop and ignore all the feelings she has for Barney. Deep down, she knows now that Barney has feelings for her and she has feelings for him, that's why she went to his room when everything with Ted was awkward and weird.
She knows she shouldn't have put her feelings for Barney onto Ted especially when he was about to get married. It had nothing to do with feelings for Ted it was because of her feelings for Barney. It's what she always does when it comes to feelings for Barney, she tries too hard to find this crutch to lean on and at times she finds Ted and puts all her feelings onto him when there is no feelings whatsoever for him anymore.
Robin Scherbatsky, by Christmas of this year had finally came to the conclusion that she is in love with Barney. Every problem she has had, rather it was work, a distraction, or Ted was her trying to ignore her feelings and that's why she ran to Japan and why when Barney called to get her to go to Ted's wedding she didn't stop herself from running back home just to see him.
When, Robin needed to get a job in order to stay in the country that has become her home in the last four years. Barney was the one to step up and got her a job "Come On Get Up New York" was an up and coming TV news show it would premiere in the Summer of that year. The summer when Barney and Robin were seeing each other, they still denied being in a relationship, hadn't defined anything between them, but they were in love and there was no denying that that summer truly awoken them both to realize that they are in love.
But, the job Barney got for her had brought her feelings even more to its surface and that's why after that day Robin wasn't sleeping around much as she did before falling for Barney. In fact, the reason why she didn't jump into another serious relationship after her breakup with Barney is because of Barney. No matter what she did or who she was with after they slept together the first time, there was no doubt at all she was in love and only loved one man for along time.
Barney, however found himself any distraction he could before he and Robin got together and after and a few times he tried to commit suicide over his feelings of never stopping loving Robin Scherbatsky. Both, of them even admitted that every guy or girl and distraction was because they never stopped loving each other.
After, their unexpected blind set up date. Both left feeling even more weirder than they were after they first slept together. Realizing, that their feelings were just as strong as ever and after finally getting together neither truly were invested in other relationships, even though both had serious relationships with other people. They both knew that nobody would ever be them. Nobody would be Barney for Robin and nobody would be Robin for Barney and they both tried desperately to forget each other and move on but neither could or wouldn't allow themselves to truly love anyone else.