Nine years later…

It was dinner time at Mt. Olympus. The Olympians were at the dining hall, waiting for a certain goddess before they start dinner.

During those nine years, the once six Olympians have become eleven. Hestia had retired from being an Olympian and gave way to her new nephew. Now, she was studying different cooking techniques and recipes somewhere on earth. Poseidon was at his domain and he only goes to Olympus when needed, so there were only nine at the dining hall.

Zeus was sitting at the head of the table and at his left side were Hera, Demeter, Athena, and skipping to one seat was Artemis. On his right side were Ares, Apollo, Hermes and their newest member, Dionysus. They were one big happy family, or that's what Zeus thought because for his wife, she was in a room full of bastards.

It's been twenty minutes after six and still no one has spoken.

Hera breathed deeply. It was always like this every dinner, and they have to wait for that bastard! And why was she always late? Well she has to freakin' choose a robe to wear every night which took her three hours! And don't get me started with the make-up!

"DADDY!~"

Oh great. What's the b*tch's problem now?

"DADDY!~"

One day Zeus. One day.

The door to the dining hall slammed open, revealing the much awaited goddess. She ran to her father while shouting "DAAAAADDYYYYY~!" It's like a cat was screeching into their ears.

Zeus sighed and rubbed his head. "What is it now Aphrodite?"

The goddess sobbed. "M-My robe! My robe!"

"What's happened to it?"

Aphrodite showed a tiny hole on her robe. "It's ruined!" And then she wailed.

Zeus noticed the looks of his children, telling him they were freakin' hungry, and of course, the glare from his sisters. He turned to the sobbing goddess on his lap. "Daddy will get you a new robe tomorrow. So please stop crying and let us eat."

The goddess looked at him and smiled. "R-Really?" She received a nod. "Yay!" She jumped up. "I also want some lilacs from the Elysian fields and new make-up!" She quickly headed for the doors.

"Where are you going?!" asked Zeus.

"To change duh!" she said as she went out, and everyone groaned.

"Why do I have to suffer like this?!" exclaimed Hermes.

Apollo said "You can say that again." Then he felt his stomach grumble. "If this continues, I'll be thin like a stick."

Artemis muttered "That spoiled brat! This is why I'm often late for my nightly huntings!"

"Can we just eat now?!" asked Ares.

Demeter humphed. "Well, well, well! I thought you boys are courting her? If one of you is going to make her your bride, then you better get used to her, especially every night!"

"Ohhh~. I know what you mean, Auntie.~" said Dionysus with a grin on his face. His brothers laughed.

Their Aunt and sisters were disgusted, while Zeus was smirking. Hera glared at him and he cleared his throat. "That's enough boys. Mind your manners."

Minutes later, the goddess returned from her "ordeal" and sat between her sisters, who were glaring at her. During dinner, instead of discussing the usual things like Olympian politics, news from earth or the underworld, they were forced to listen to Aphrodite's rant about her clothes, that she needed more personal servants, how her room is too small and she needed a bigger one, and that Artemis' chest was too flat.

The goddess choked the asparagus she was eating and glared at Aphrodite. "And why is my chest a part of your problems?!" She heard her brothers snicker and glared at them.

Aphrodite said "Well remember last week, when you, Athena and I bathed together at the spring and I touched your breast and it felt like I was touching the marble floor we are stepping on right now-"

"Stop it! Just stop it! One more word about my chest and I'll stab you with this spoon!" Then she turned to her laughing brothers. "And all of you! If you don't want your heads to be displayed in my room, better shut up!"

"Speaking of chests…" She turned to her older sister. "Athena! I still can't believe that you have humungous breasts!"

Now it was Athena's turn to choke the nectar she was drinking. She automatically glared at the goddess beside her.

Aphrodite continued. "They are so big! Well, we have the same size but it's so bouncy! And when I touched it, it's so squishy like a baby's butt! It's like boom! And boom! And if only there's a third one it will be like a boom boom boom!"

Athena was trying so hard to keep her cool and stop herself from stabbing this-, this creature!

At the other side, the boys were red, and they were laughing so hard while ichor gushed out of their noses.

Hera kept on eating while giving Zeus the look. "They're your bastards alright."

Demeter said "Oh come on Hera! We used to do that when Hestia was still with us!" The room quickly filled with protests.

"No! Sweet Chaos no!"

The horror! Oh the horror!"

"Stop it! You're embarrassing me!"

"Ahhh! ~Old, wrinkled, saggy breasts!"

"My mind! My mind! It burns~!"

"Stahp it!"

Demeter and Hera gave them the death glare.

Zeus chuckled. "Oh I remember that! Poseidon and I used to sneak and hide behind the bushes and spy at you girls! We also dragged Hades sometimes from the underworld and make him join us!" He grinned at them.

…

…

Awkward.

Zeus cleared his throat, while avoiding the glares from his sisters. "Aphrodite! Continue with what you were saying! Do you also want some jewelry with those clothes?"

The goddess gasped. "Really Daddy?! Why yes! Yes! I would love some. Well maybe more, but yes! Oh and BTW, have you seen the clothes and jewelries that Eurynome and Thetis have been wearing these past few years?! I want those! They are so b-e-a-utiful!~"

Demeter agreed. "I actually saw them, and she's right. They were beautifully made, and especially the ornaments. The metals and the jewels were combined together so perfectly! And the details! Oh Zeus, if only you have seen them."

"They must be made by a professional jeweler." said Hera, who was intrigue with the jewelry.

"Well, then. We'll just have to call the one who made it and make you goddesses some!" said Zeus.

Athena said "You don't have to, father."

Ares dropped his chicken drumstick on his plate and said "Hey! What about us?!"

He shook his head. "Nonsense! I'm feeling generous! And Ares, you're a god, but maybe he makes weapons or instruments, then we'll see. So Aphrodite, tell Eurynome or Thetis to send that craftsman over here."

"Alas, Daddy! For years I have been trying to get them to tell me where this craftsman is! But those greedy b*tches won't say a single word! They kept on telling me that he seldomly visits them! But I know they know where he lives!"

Zeus rubbed his chin and turned to his son. "Hermes, find this craftsman! Go to Thetis and Eurynome's place tomorrow."

Hermes saluted him. "Yes sir!"

Aphrodite smiled at her brother. "Do whatever you can Hermy poo!~ I'll give you a kiss if you succeed!" Then she winked at him.

The god flashed his seductive smirk. "Like I always say to my ladies, I ride the wind, but you can ride me, baby~."

"Boom!" exclaimed Dionysus. The gods laughed.

"Ugh! That's it!" exclaimed Artemis as she dropped her spoon.

Ares said "Babe! Why ride him when I can stab you with my dagger!"

"Boom!" exclaimed Hermes. They laughed again.

Athena muttered "I have, officially, lost my appetite."

"Stab? I'll swing my light saber!" said Apollo.

Ares exclaimed while laughing "Boom!" followed by another wave of laughter.

Demeter rubbed her head. "Dear Chaos."

"Bros, bros! You're all too straight!" Dionysus turned to the goddesses. "Ladies, want some of my, nectar?" Then he winked at them.

"Oh! Ohh! He went there!" said Ares.

Apollo exclaimed "Oh no he didn't!"

Hermes said in a sassy way "Oh yes he did!"

They were laughing while the goddesses were now really angry and were giving the gods glares of a thousand men, except for Aphrodite, who was so flattered for some reason.

Hera directed hers to her husband. "They really are your bastards."

Zeus hit the table a few times to silence them. "Boys, boys! That's enough! I don't want to hear anymore from any of you! Finish your food and go to your rooms! You should all be ashamed of yourselves!… Wanna see my thunderbolt?"

JenniePearl2013: The son of who? - The son of the Ice Queen! (...Hera)

The Blue Priestess: Isn't Hephaestus supposed to be 'lame' after Hera threw him out of Mt. Olympus? -True, but there's another myth pertaining to his lameness. Zeus threw him off of Olympus when he was arguing with Hera, and that's how poor Hephaestus lost his leg, well, for me that is. I prefer this story better than the other.