DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN GLEE OR ITS CHARACTERS

A/N: So sorry for the long wait :/ But school is out for me tomorrow! I will soon be a Junior :D And this is super short, I know, but I promise for sure this time that future chapters will be up to normal standards! Enjoy and please review!

4.

"I-I," Rachel slowly stuttered, freezing up when she saw that folder. The bright pigment of yellow screamed loudly in her face, taunting her at her failures she had experienced musically. Of course the ordinary person she sounded beautiful when she sang the content in that folder… But to someone musically inclined like herself, or a NYADA representative it sounded like a complete disgrace.

Finn's lip curled into his signature half smile as he thought that he totally had nailed this. He found Rachel's enemy, her challenge. For a while there he had a feeling that there wasn't anything remotely close to a challenge in her life. She was pretty much perfect in general, even if you went down deep to who she is and what her life has been like and is like. Things were always easy going for her because she was a natural at so many things and had a supportive family. Her only flaw would probably be the fact that she had a rough time fitting in, but honestly the only reason why people disliked her was because they were jealous. Jealous of how fantastic she was at everything she did because they could never in their lives amount to her entire being.

But now by the flustered look on her face, he knew that this was it. This 'attempt' folder was Rachel Berry's weak spot when it came to her musical genius.

"You've got to choose something from this folder, Rachel!" He exclaims.

She stands up and hops around to get out of the maze they had made with sheet music before sitting down at her vanity, looking into her mirror at herself. She was nervous. Her lip quivered and her hands shook.

It felt like forever before they said anything. He just watched her handle this all. He wanted her to... to accept that this was real and that this was happening.

However she was still in denial.

"You know Don't Rain on my Parade… I really do that song justice," She meekly speaks.

He sighs in frustration.

"Yeah, you do, but you can't do that song, Rach. You know how many people are going to audition with that song? If you choose a song from your… attempt folder, you'll really hit it off with the judges. You can't back out of this," He straightly tells her, getting up too and walking across the room to where she sat. He kneeled down behind her so he could make eye contact with her in the mirror for she refused to look away from her reflection.

Rachel shakes her head softly, looking into her own eyes.

"I just…"

"You're a star," He interrupts her trailed off sentence. "And I've known a lot of talented people. Just look at glee club; everyone in there is a great singer… well, except for Sugar, but whatever. Most people in there are great singers. But no one, and I mean no one can outshine you. You just need to, and I can't believe I'm actually telling you this, but you need to take more charge."

Her eyes widen and her gaze transfers to his, holding his eyes with her own. For him to suggest she be more flamboyant than she already was was a huge long shot. If anyone were to here Finn's suggestion they would probably slap him and tell him off for trying to ignite even more fire to the engulfing flames Rachel is. To give her permission to be more of a diva.

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah. I'm one hundred percent serious. Because you're at your best when you're being outgoing and courageous. You're at your best when you're being you."

She looks away from him and at herself yet again, inhaling very slowly, very deeply. Her eyelashes flutter as she blinks. A few moments later a smile has stretched across her beautiful face.

"I can do this. Hand me that folder, Finn."

XX

"Finn, it's nice to see you again," Ms. Pillsbury greets.

Finn offers a weak smile before sitting down in the squishy chair in front of her desk. His stomach was churning as he knew why he was being called into the counselor's office; he had yet to be accepted into a college.

"Well, Finn, we haven't heard anything back from any colleges yet, have we?" She places her elbows on her desk to prop her chin atop her folded hands.

"No. Well, a bunch of declines," He admits.

"Can I ask you a question, Finn?" She squints her eyes.

He nods his head for confirmation.

"Have you thought about what you might do if you don't get accepted into any colleges?" She hesitantly speaks, eyeing Finn with wide eyes.

Finn looks down at his lap and shrugs. Clearly Ms. Pillsbury thought that he wouldn't make it into a school. It's his own fault, anyways, so he's not mad at her lack of belief in him.

"I mean, I guess I'll work… But I just… I can't stay here in Lima."

"Why not?" She prompts.

She couldn't be serious with that, though, could she? Didn't adults here understand, or were they so far gone down the line too that the lameness of Lima has brainwashed them? They all lived day by day the exact same way and it really bugged the hell out of Finn. He wasn't going to become them! He refused to be them!

"Because I'm not going to allow myself to be a Lima Loser!" He explodes, standing up and practically running out of the office.

He's sprinting down the halls and he's just trying to get away from it all. Why hasn't he heard anything back from the last three colleges he applied to? More importantly, why hasn't he been accepted into any of the handful of colleges he applied to? Why isn't he good enough? He thought that maybe once in his life things might be falling into place for him, that he might have just a little chance to prove to himself that he's not a piece of shit. Apparently he was way off base with that assumption because it's pretty damn clear that that's exactly what he is. He's garbage, a loser. He's meant to stay in Lima.

Finn had somehow made it to his old truck, and he's sitting in the driver's seat, clutching the steering wheel with both hands and dropping his forehead to balance it along the top of the arc. Why do things have to be so complicated now? He pulls away from the wheel and looks up towards the roof of his car. By his sun visor that's folded up, a corner of a piece of paper or something peaks out.

Pulling down the visor, a small rectangular photo is revealed and it floats down and lands directly in his lap. His large hand picks up the fragile photo and holds it up in front of his face to see what it is.

Finn's eyes scrunch together when he realizes it's his father's photo. His military photo. The small smile that graces Specialist Christopher Hudson's face is identical to the one Finn usually sports. His strong, broad shoulders angle towards the camera and he looks completely official in his Marines uniform. His father was a hero. His father had lived in Lima and had turned out to be someone of great honor. A man who was willing to risk it all, his own life for God's sake, for his country. A real man.

A sick feeling settles deep down in Finn's gut. He should be like his father; he should be a hero. Finn should be able to take risks and be the man that his father would have wanted him to be. But instead he sits in his truck sulking over the fact that he doesn't have a college acceptance yet. Throwing a pity party over something that is so… so measly into comparison to serving for the military.

Suddenly the idea is floating in his mind. What if he were to join the military? To follow in his father's footsteps. Make something out of himself. Be a hero. What if he were to do that?

It scared him out of his mind, being a part of something like that. He'd be signing his death certificate once he enlisted, and his family and friends would be so worried for him. Rachel would be devastated. His mother… he doesn't even know how she would react.

But above his fright was something that just felt right. Like pride. He felt great, actually, to do his father justice.

It's not like he'd be gone forever. He'd just serve for his term of four years. Then he could go to college and get his teaching degree. Everything would work out perfectly. Plus after his time in the military he'd have some money and a few benefits. More security in his adult years.

It would be his best shot at proving who he is and what he is capable of.

XX

Rachel had been working extremely hard on her song choice. She's still iffy at it, which gives her a good sign. Finn was totally right, Kurt was right; she needed a fresh start and a new attack. It would be her only chance.

Life was just really stressful lately; Finn's college hiatus, their friendship on the rocks, her nerves over being accepted into Carmen's class. It was all too much and she needed to back off and take a break, which is exactly why she was at the Hummel/Hudson house at this moment.

"What movie did you choose?" She asks, sitting down on his bedroom floor with her fuzzy pink blanket wrapped around her body.

"Uh… I actually chose Flyboys," He answers tightly, putting the movie into his DVD player.

"Oh… Isn't that movie about war? Don't you think that's a little depressing?" Rachel scrunches her nose slightly and looks at him.

"Yeah, but I… I like the movie a lot actually," He awkwardly explains.

Rachel's eyes narrow into two small slits.

"What's wrong?"

She had known Finn forever. She knew when he was stressed, upset, angered, et cetera. And by the way he was acting right now, the weird overcast in his eyes and the tight sentences he was feeding her, proved that there was something wrong.

"No!" Finn shouts too quickly, only raising the petite brunette's suspicion even more.

"Just drop it," He adds quietly, sitting down on the floor next to her.

So she does, which kind of scares the shit out of Finn.

This was totally unlike Rachel Berry. She always loved to elaborate on her own thoughts. It didn't matter what kind of situation anyone was in; she loved putting her personal opinion in on it. Even if the awkwardness of the setting was inevitable, like right now. So why the hell was she quieting down? Something about the way he was acting was making her… nervous. Like he had bad news or… or something along those lines.

The sickness started to swirl around in her stomach. She shouldn't be thinking of this now. She came to Finn's place to relax and shove away her nauseating feelings of her audition for the NYADA representatives. She came her so she could make herself feel better, not worse.

The movie credits are rolling and she tries to calm down, but she just can't. And then Finn speaks up and smoothly pats over that awkward five minutes they had just experienced.

"And you're kind of a hypocrite. War is depressing, but a husband being addicted to gambling and leaving his wife and child isn't?"

Rachel looks at him with wide eyes and bursts out into laughter. He lifts his arm up and places it around her shoulders, and she gladly leans in against his strong frame, inhaling the sweet and musky scent that Finn defined.

"He didn't leave her… He just was taken away to go to prison. Those are two totally different things. If he left her he would have had the choice."

"But… what if he left her because he had good intentions?" Finn offered in an odd tone.

Rachel just snuggled in closer to his embrace.

"That wouldn't happen. If you love something enough you wouldn't just leave. Even if the intentions were to benefit themselves or the other."

XX

He felt like a douche. The movie played for a good two hours and Rachel was bawling throughout most of it. Not to mention what she said earlier. About people leaving being bad even if they had good intentions. It was all screwed up. He wasn't going to tell her about what he had been thinking, though he thought playing military related movies would sort of "warm" her up to the idea… And that itself was just plain sick. That he wanted to prepare her for his news.

Finn knew no matter how easy he approached the subject that it would still be a nearly impossible one. And this was just Rachel he was talking about. His mother was a totally different story. Everything was just really screwed up in his life, outside of his mind and body. But inside everything seemed to be falling into place. He had his plan.

A week later confirmed everything for one hundred percent surety when he received his last two college letters, both declining his acceptance. It hurts that he didn't get in anywhere, and he wonders why he was that bad of a person, but then settles for the idea that it obviously wasn't his destiny to go to college.

His future lied in the military.

And now he was busy in his room filling out applications to enlist. So much information, way more detailed than any of his college applications. The seriousness of the situation weighed down on him but he didn't doubt his decision. He was eighteen years of age and was very well capable of making a damn good one.

He decided to break the news to his family after he sent his formal enlistment. Because then they couldn't stop him from doing this. They really couldn't before either since he was a legal adult, but he knew that his mother would sway his opinion with her crying and Rachel… Rachel would… yeah…

Reading the fine print, he lifts his pen once again to sign his name on the final line. The final line that confirms that Finn C. Hudson is ready to sign his death certificate under all circumstances. Just as his ink is dotting the 'I' to his name, the last thing he always does when scrawling his signature, his bedroom door opens up and his middle aged mother waddles in with a laundry basket attached to her hip.

Quickly, Finn jumps up from where he was seated at his desk, knocking over a crap load of stuff on the surface, and scraps the papers behind his back.

Carole looks at him, appalled by his unnecessary abruptness. But there had to be a reason. The mother knew that she shouldn't press him about what he was doing. The last time she did that she found out that her son had been looking at porn online and she really didn't want to know about his hormonal cravings.

But that was years ago… He couldn't be so careless as to be looking at something so promiscuous when he knew the entire family was home.

"What the hell?" Carole comments.

"Oh, hey mom," Finn offers a huge ass fake smile. "Thanks for doing my laundry."

"Yeah," She trails off, looking at his arms that are leading to behind his back. "Say, Finn, what do you have there?"

Finn's eyes widen a little and he swallows thickly with a quite loud gulp.

"N-Nothing, mom."

"Finn," She warns.

He looks down with shame. This was the moment. He didn't have time to prepare an explanation and he didn't even feel the confidence bubbling inside. He was raw, bare.

Pulling the document in front of him, his mother steps forward, drops the laundry basket…

And he watches as his mother falls to the floor, a hand clutching her chest in desperation.