Story Title: Somebody's Fool
Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon. Irwin would have made a few more calls or been given the option to join the player on their journey.
Author's Notes: Thanks to Nocturne of Eclipse, Dark Angel, and DarkTyphlosion for reviewing.
Basically this story can be summarized in battle terms as such: Irwin used Attract! Wild Kris is Oblivious! Irwin's Attract failed… Yep, the author is still a dork.
Thanks for reading.
-o-
Chapter Four: Irwin the Provider
-o-
"You could battle a few trainers. I'm sure it would take you no time to win," Irwin suggested as they sat on a bench in Goldenrod's small city park. Irwin hadn't been so convinced by the old man's info—the geezer had looked pretty crooked to him—but after watching the sky go from bright and blue to a very miserable gray rather quickly, he had to reconsider.
Kris sat cross-legged beside him. She stared pensively out at nothing particular, her mind no doubt fixated as much as his on coming up with an answer to their definitely-going-to-be-stuck-out-in-the storm problem. So far, battling trainers had been his best yet. Her, not him, since their objective was to earn money, not lose it, and well, Irwin didn't exactly have any money to lose.
She shook her head no. "It wouldn't be fair. I'm the Champion and there are only little kids around. I'd feel like a bully."
Ah, so just and considerate… Irwin thought in admiration as an ache panged in his chest at seeing her so consumed with worry. He wondered if she would think it weird of him if he hugged her and told her he'd make sure everything would be all right. He thought against it, at least for right now.
He could see her point though. With the annual youth tournament going on, there were many young trainers running about the park, meeting one another, showing off their Pokemon. Even though it would be like fishing Magikarp for her to raise enough cash by wins, it wouldn't be right.
"Hmm… Then there's no other choice," he said, as he rose from his seat. Quickly dropping to one knee in front of her, he laid one hand on his heart, the other he outstretched to her palm facing up, and said gallantly, "Fear not, fair maiden, for I, Irwin the Juggler, will earn enough and shield you from the storm. I promise on my honor as your sidekick, I will not fail you!"
Kris blinked at him as he smiled at her. She looked like she didn't quite know what to make of his grand gesture, words and all. She seemed…confused, which definitely wasn't the kind of reaction Irwin was going for. He knew he didn't have a chance to get the reaction he actually wanted and fantasized—her practically leaping into the safety of his arms to hug him and tell him how she knew he would make everything all right—but he hoped to at least earn a smile. Unfortunately he didn't even receive that from her.
"Okay, but how are you going to do that?" she asked, curious to know.
"Follow me and I shall show you!" Irwin said, making a broad swoop of his arm in a large come-with-me gesture as she hopped up from the bench and trailed after him.
Technically, it was not illegal to perform on the streets but cops cracked down on street performers during quiet times, falsely accusing them of disorderly conduct or resisting arrest, but occasionally turned a blind eye if the performer was good enough.
Since he was a minor, Irwin mostly received warnings, stern lectures, and fines in lieu of jail time when he was caught. Still his face was pretty well known down at the station. He was friendly with most of the officers—one always took him out for ramen (and lectured him through dinner)—but a few treated him like dirt. No matter since he always got back at them whenever they were mean to him.
Since the police recognized him too well, he mostly performed out on Route 35 now. It had been a while, two months shy of a year in fact, since he had been out on his old street but nothing had changed, except the Meowth that slept in the bakery's storefront was now a Persian and it looked like it ate a cake a day, but the street itself looked the same.
And to his surprise, no one had moved in his spot. Which was strange since it was a pretty good location and the street was fairly well traveled. Normally, there was a tight claim on spots, petty feuds fought over choice locations, and when a good spot came open it was usually snatched up pretty quickly. Luckily, Irwin had never needed to go through such drama.
"Okay!" Irwin was full of energy, not sure if it was out of anticipation or nervousness, as he handed Kris a hat and directed her to her spot. "Kris, you're my bottler. All you have to do is go through the crowd and take collections and if you can, encourage people to watch. Never ever forget to smile. It's very important to smile. The rest is all up to me. I promise I won't let you down."
"Irwin, are you sure this will work?" Kris asked, quite unsure.
"Well, it kind of has to, doesn't it?" Irwin said. "But nothing to gain and nothing to lose in trying!"
Kris gave an uncertain but agreeing nod in return.
"All right, big smiles!" he said, double pointing to his own big grin as she mirrored him. Her smile was more nervous than he hoped for but he was certain she would cheer up once her initial flutters stopped.
As soon as he turned around with a big sweeping arm gesture, the show was on.
"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, gather around, quickly gather around!" Irwin called, waving his hands encouragingly. "Today is a lucky day for I, Irwin the Juggler, have a show that will astound and amaze you! Feast your eyes on my graceful ball dexterity!"
He struck a dramatic pose intended to convey mystery and wonder as he held up three different types of Pokeballs between his fingers.
"Please, please, hold your ovation…" Irwin said, flapping his hands in a please-settle-down gesture, despite the complete silence of the meager crowd. "But if you must, give all your applause to the maiden, my lovely assistant, Kris!"
And the audience erupted into a fit of cheers and whistling. One fellow even gave a catcall.
"Umm, hi…" Kris said, waving and smiling uneasily.
"Please, from now on until after the show, please offer a collection," Irwin said. "You can do so simply by giving what you can to Miss Kris."
Holding up the jester's hat, her voice and manner pleading, Kris said, "Please do. We have no money for a place to stay out of the storm."
"Er…yea," Irwin said, trying not to let his astonishment show itself on his face.
Well, generally, a street performer in need didn't broadcast their dire situation to their audience as a matter of personal dignity and not wanting to be called out for pulling a pity card by their audience—after all, the heart of their act was the show itself, not the financial gain. Even when he had been half-dead from starvation, Irwin had never let his audience know. He was a performer, not a beggar.
He probably should have told Kris not to be so blatantly honest about why they were out here. But then again, her innocence and sincerity might work for them. Their audience might not see it as a pity ploy but as a genuine request for help. Irwin hoped so, because they really did need the help.
Irwin started the show, warming up with a few basic skills before showing off some of his tricks. He was determined to make this his best show yet, not just because of the necessity for his success but also to impress Kris and show her his juggling wasn't just a hobby but an honest profession to him. This was the first time she would actually see his act and he was not going to have a bad show in front of her.
He had more skill than just spinning in place as he tossed, his circles growing faster and tighter with every revolution, and kicking back his supposedly dropped balls. As he juggled one-handed, Irwin quickly pulled out a red handkerchief and then tossed each Pokeball onto his covered hand. Tying up the cloth and then throwing it for a single circle, Irwin unknotted the handkerchief to reveal the three Pokeballs had turned into a Lure Ball, Heavy Ball, and Love Ball. The mildly impressed crowd politely applauded.
Blinding his eyes with the folded up handkerchief, Irwin proceed on with juggling. To his knowledge, there were only a few Jugglers around that were confident enough in their technique to try juggling blindfolded. Though muscle memory had a lot to do with it, Irwin had pinpointed his timing and kept a strict count off in his head. He could even do his spins and kick backs blindfolded.
As was the nature of such shows, people came and people went, leaving when their attentions swayed or their schedules demanded it. Long as they left entertained and didn't sneer at him, Irwin was happy. Of course he was happiest if they paid but there was always that small percentage that watched but did not compensate him for his effort. A bit frustrating, yes, but it was just something one had to deal with as a street performer.
The trick ball he had added popped open with a burst of confetti and glitter, revealing the Igglybuff plush hidden inside. Though he thought about tossing it to Kris, a little girl, no older than five, with short red pigtails in pink overalls stood out in front.
He recognized her entrancement. It was the same bright-eyed wonder he had expressed years ago at his first experience with seeing the circus. He felt lucky if he could draw that kind of awe in a child's face—contributions were always welcome but bringing a smile to a kid's face was often his real reward of performing.
"Catch it," he said and tossed the plush to the little girl.
Surprised, she scrambled forward and grabbed it just before it hit the sidewalk. She was hesitant to keep it at first until he told her it was hers. The little girl smiled, gave thanks, and stepped back into the crowd, hugging her present.
Irwin felt like everything was going well. Of course, Kris knew better if the show was drawing any profit but from the steady stream of spectators and Kris doing her best and keeping up her smile, their prospects could not be that hopeless. Sure their luck today could not be described by any terms of good but how could they not succeed here? They had an entertaining show and a cute bottler girl and could anyone really look at Kris and give nothing for the show? Only if they didn't have a pulse.
"Hey, look at this," Irwin overhead a young man say and raised his head high in pride of his skill and love of providing unexpected entertainment to passersby.
"I didn't even know dorks still did this," the other boy said. "Thought they all went on to computers or band camp."
"This one didn't get the memo," the first boy sneered. "Along with the one that any idiot can toss and catch balls. So lame."
"Only reason he's tossing Pokeballs is 'cause he can't catch anything with them! …Oh look, the loser dropped one!"
Sure there was usually one heckler or two in every Juggler's crowd and normally Irwin ignored them pretty well. But he hadn't performed in the city in a while and with Kris there, he had accidentally let the jerks distract him a little and yea, he had lost track of one of his props—not as if he hadn't had an otherwise flawless show. Well acquainted with guys like these (partly because they were boys his age), it would not have mattered if he had the best show in the world, they still would have ridiculed him.
Irwin paused to pick up his dropped Pokeball and saw Kris, well, her sneakers and legs jostling her way through their remaining audience.
"If you're just going to be mean, why don't you leave!" she said, face pinched tight and glare sharp. The guys looked on wide-eyed and yet still smirked in amusement at her sudden flash fire reprimand.
"Kris, Kris, it's all right…" Irwin said, fanning his hands in another please-calm gesture as he stepped over. "So my usual tricks not enough for you gentlemen? Well, I have one more special technique that might be of interest."
"Doubt it…" the second boy, the one with his sunglasses perched on the bill of his cap, snorted derisively.
Irwin turned to the audience and announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, I will now at great personal risk juggle four live Voltorb! This is a dangerous act, one that very well will endanger my life, so kiddies, please don't try this! Ever! Not at home, school, friend's house, the mall, nowhere!"
"This ought to be good. I'd pay to see the idiot blow himself up," the first boy, the more handsome one of the two, said and his friend agreed as they and many others in the crowd gave money for the act.
"Irwin, no…" Kris said, concern ringing clear in voice.
Not to fret, my dear, Irwin thought as he released his team, for the threat of danger is more in their minds than is actually present. These are, after all, my Voltorb and I am a very good juggler. It will all turn out for the good in the end, I promise.
"Okay, we'll start with three," he said, tossing the pair in each hand and the one waiting on his foot, building up his rhythm and getting a sense of his timing.
Despite the whole being a living time bomb that could explode at a moment's notice at the creature's whim or at reaching its anger peak, Voltorb were not that different from any other prop he had ever juggled. Sure, Pokeballs were less temperamental but not as thrilling to a crowd. Even if the jerks had not shown up, Irwin had been planning on juggling his Voltorb for his finale or outright if his opening act had not drawn a crowd.
When ready, he ordered his fourth Voltorb to roll onto his foot. "Okay, now four!" With only a little flub in his timing, he caught the last one and his pace evened back out.
Although normally his Voltorb were quite agreeable and willing to perform, each one had their moments of unexplained, unpredictable sudden irritation at the world, which usually made for no Voltorb-juggling that day, a just prevention in case the foul one decided to explode on him. As far as it seemed from their expressions and obedience, his Voltorb were up for being tossed but of course, their minds could change. Of course, Irwin had a pretty good estimation on how long and how far his team's patience went.
"Looks like more of the same…" the guy with the shades groaned after it became obvious there would be no immediate explosion.
"He your boyfriend?" the pretty boy asked Kris.
"Just friends," she said. "We started traveling together today."
"Like a traveling circus?" the shades guy said, smirking.
"No," Kris said, shooting a look at the other boy that left no doubt that she thought his comment was very rude.
"Why are you out here then?" the pretty boy asked. "You're supposed to be hitting the streets but not like this, right?"
"There's a storm coming in and we have to stay the night."
"So you need a place to crash?"
Irwin didn't like the way he was grinning at her.
"For tonight," Kris said.
The pretty boy flipped his long, shoulder-length dark green hair away from his face and put on the charm. "Well, you're welcome to stay the night with me. I'm having a party and there's gonna be a lot of cool people there. Come with us. We'll have fun together tonight, I promise."
"Really?" Kris said, her voice and expression brightening. "Let me tell Irwin—"
"Sorry, honey," the pretty boy snorted as he grabbed her arm. "He can go have fun with himself. We just wanna hang out with you."
"Then I'm not coming," Kris said, jerking her arm out of his hold. "I won't go where Irwin isn't allowed."
"You've got really weird priorities, chick," the shades guy said, as he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him. "If you wanna be popular, ditch the loser and come with us."
"Your argument stinks!" Kris shouted and shoved the shades guy away. "Get your hands off me!"
For the most part, Irwin's attention was placed where it was supposed to be with his Voltorb but he had overheard most of their conversation and as the hecklers became more aggressive toward Kris, contrasting with their polite tones and their appeals that Kris calm down, and no one else in the dwindling crowd seemed to be alarmed by what was unfolding, his attention wavered.
"We'll have fun, I swear," the pretty boy said, still with that all-too-charming and rather-slimly smile of his.
"I'd rather sleep out in the storm," Kris said, stepping away from him only to hit the smirking boy with shades' chest.
"Come on, doll face, you don't mean that—"
Unable to stomach their behavior toward Kris not a moment longer, Irwin looked at them and shouted, "Hey! Get away from her!" And then he felt a Voltorb slip off his fingertips. "Oh sh—"
The bright flash of the detonating Voltorb momentarily blinded his sight but soon everything in his vision seemed to be whooshing past him as the blast threw him back and against the building behind him, the back of his head making sharp, sudden contact against the brick.
On the concrete sidewalk, he was disorientated and the explosion left a ringing in his ears but despite that, he still managed to pick up the muffled sound of Kris shouting his name as the blurry world faded to black.