Chapter 4 - The true face of the first human
Welcome back to this small fanfic of mine! For those who read the story before this chapter: You surely (or not) noticed some changes in the number of chapters. That's because I decided to make some changes. The first one would be the fusion of the first and second chapter. I noticed that the former first chapter wasn't really convincing and counted more as a prolog. The second change would be new story-related stuff in the former second chapter and some changes in some theorys. Skeletons aren't immune to determination anymore, because a new idea popped into my head that combines all (future) elements better. Also, I changed the theory about Flowey, because I played the game again and noticed how my theory doesn't match with the game. Now everything should be relateable to the original source! At least I hope so… Please tell me if something isn't right and I will see if I can change that. No promises though. Now, where were we? So looking at my surroundings, it seems like I am in the room to the right of Sans' sentry station in Waterfall-
Suddenly, two small hands clasp around me. Well, at least I could say everything I wanted to say. I recommend reading the first and third chapter again when you read it before the release of this chapter! I also want to thank GermanAntasma and Cr4zyKitty for favoriting/following this story! Now to my attacker. I make myself untouchable and float out of the hand of the unknown person. Wait, isn't that…
°Frisk!
When my small companion realises that I recognize them, they throw their little arms in the air and bounce with happiness. They really are glad to see me and their wholehearted laughter just underlines that fact.
°How have you been, my friend?
The young human says that they got a good night's sleep and that everything is alright. Then they suddenly stop their actions and stand still. It's like the child just noticed something. They turn their attention to me with a serious expression and ask me if I changed something in the timeline. Wow, I expect nothing less from someone who is familiar with resets!
°Yeah, I changed some things, so that this story stays true to the original game. To be honest, I really am happy that my ideas slowly connect to each other and my new thoughs spare Sans a lot of pain. Very much pain.
Not knowing how to respond to my explanation, Frisk decides to remain silent. Then, their consciousness fades abruptly and Chara comes out.
*You really are a fool, aren't you? How do you imagine that utopia of yours? Will you live with monsterkind without confessing your crimes-
°Of course I will tell them. I want them to accept me as who I am.
*How do you think will that work?! Will you just say, "Also, in the past I killed you many times, sorry about that.", and think that they will forgive you-
°I also thought of a solution to that.
*…I don't understand you. Why are you working so hard to make them happy when you made them unhappy so many times? You murdered them. You literally murdered them. Something must have driven you to kill them, right? Was it because of another person? Was it because of curiosity? Was it because of hatred?
°It was because of curiosity and love. Not the boyfriend-girlfriend kind of love, but the I-like-the-characters kind of love. Sometimes with and sometimes without LOVE.
*Love? How can a sane person kill other people because of love. Love from all things.
°Ever heared of yanderes? Anyway, that's not the point here. In the game, the player's knowledge about the characters is limited, because, like Flowey once said, they are nothing more but a few lines of code. There are people like me, who would like to learn more about their favorite characters and do everything possible. "How would they react when I am nice to them? How would they react when I am mean to them? How would they react when I kill them? I want to know!" You could say that it's the player-language for asking the characters, "Can I get to know you better?" I don't know if it counts for other players out there, but at some point it became the main reason for my resets.
*… So… It wasn't because of hatred? It was because you can only communicate with us that way?
°In my case, yes. That only counts for Undertale though. I replay games for various reasons.
*So… It's wrong to kill people? Was my plan to kill humanity… wrong?
°Of course it's wrong!
*Even if I harbor, in my opinion, justified hatred towards humanity?
°Even if you hate humans with your whole being.
*Even when monsterkind betrayed me?
°Even when the monsters betrayed you in not having such a strong grudge against humanity like yourself.
*… You know… When you spared everyone in the first timeline of this AU… I thought… that my actions were wrong…that it's not right to murder people… that Asriel didn't betray me… but… then you started killing everyone… and I thought… that I was right… and that Asriel betrayed me… like my parents… I thought that everything nice in my life, that every moment of happiness, that every single ray of hope is a lie! I lost myself in hatred and started following your actions. I… murdered everyone… everyone who was nice to me! I murdered the only people who cared for me in even the slightest way! I am the one who betrayed them! I am the despicable one here! I-I didn't want to- didn't mean to…! I just wanted a normal life, I just wanted people to love me, to accept me, I just wanted… I just… I… I'm so sorry guys...! I'm so sorry! Please…! Please forgive me!
In the middle of their latest paragraph, Chara falls on their knees and hold their tiny hands in front of their eyes, blocking the view of their face. Tears can be seen rolling down their slightly red cheeks and one can hear small hiccups now and then. Chara is crying.
I summon a blue-glowing body of a female teenager, so that the little human can act with it, and embrace the weeping child in front of me. You know, I really feel sorry for Chara. At least this Chara. They didn't say it yet and I'm sure they didn't realise it either, but they didn't just want to kill humanity because of their hatred, it also was to repay monsterkind. During their time in the underground they got to see the hardships the poor monsters had to face and wanted to free them. Chara didn't have the best parents and the people inside Mount Ebott were the first ones to actually show concern for the small child. They just wanted to thank the monsters for everything the long-forgotten race gave them.
It was us players who planted the seed of confusion inside the mind of the clueless child. Children learn from the adults around them and we taught Chara that killing is okay. We taught them all the evil things. It's our fault. So, of course it's my responsibility to righten my wrongdoings.
°It's not your fault, Chara. I am the one who has to take responsibility. You're just a victim of wrong teachings. You learned from the wrong person and I really feel guilty about that. I already planned how to make it up to you.
Chara wipes their eyes with their sleeves and look up to face the head of my summoned body. Their expression is still filled with negative emotions, but now there also is a small spark of curiosity in their eyes.
°I will give you a new start.
The little human tilts their head in confusion. Seems like my words are too vague, but that was intended.
°There is one thing that has been on my mind though.
Chara perks up at that and looks at me with curiosity.
°Do you remember the soul I gave you in our first killing spree?
The little kid twitches once and looks down to avoid my view, but despite their effort I can still tell the guilt in their hidden eyes.
°Can you do me the favour and give it back to Frisk later? You should know by now that they're innocent.
Chara looks up again and answers with slight panic in their voice.
*I-I can return it right away!
I can understand that the little human child wants to fix their mistakes right away, but there is a reason why I want the two children to share the soul for a little bit longer.
°Chara, I have a question for you.
Said person suppresses their nervousness quickly and listens carefully.
°Why do you feel emotions?
Everythings stops for Chara. That question is justified. They don't have a soul. They shouldn't be able to feel because of that fact. So why…? Now it clicks!
*I can feel, … because… I have Frisk's soul, … right?
°Did you ever consider the possibility of you forgetting this feelings and becoming a demon again?
*… No…
°Do you understand now?
*Yes, but…
°Yeah?
*When will I be able to return the soul? Isn't it impossible… without losing my true self?
°Good question, Chara, but don't worry. I said "later", right? I already have a plan.
*…
Seems like our conversation came to an end with my last sentence, so I let the poor child calm down in the arms of my summoned body.
°Anyway, can we continue? Or else we'll never reach the surface.
The change in topic catches the young human off guard, but what picks their attention is the fact that I'm speaking to them and not to Frisk.
*Wait, shouldn't you say that to Frisk?
°A short walk doesn't hurt and I'm sure that they won't have anything against that idea. Can you ask them, please?
A few seconds pass where the two only humans in the underground speak to each other and it doesn't take them long to come to a conclusion.
*Frisk says that it's fine.
°Great! But there's an important thing I have to say about that matter.
Chara looks up at me with curiosity in their eyes. They look so innocent now and I feel really guilty when I see the tear stains on their small face, so I raise one hand to wipe them away.
°You're not allowed to meet anybody, let alone let them see you.
Chara's body stiffens up, a look of pure shock on their childish face. Their eyes become coulded with sadness and focus on me, threatening to let a new set of tears loose. I'm not bullying a little kid to tears here, am I? Don't you dare judge me, dear readers! There is a reason for my last statement!
°D-Don't cry! It's not like I don't want to be seen with you! It's just… Can you imagine the reaction of monsterkind when they see one of the dead, royal children walking on the street?
The young human's eyes widen in realisation and they calm down quickly, nodding in understanding. Then a new thought comes to their mind.
*W-What about Alphys' cameras?! Wait, she didn't witness our conversation just now, did she?!
°I already turned the cameras off.
*How-
°It's pretty handy to have total control over the timeline, you know?
*Oh, right… Sorry, I forgot… somehow.
°Phew… Let's get going then. I will tell you two when you should switch, okay?
Chara looks down like they are in deep thought before nodding, so I assume that Frisk agrees too.
°Now that everything is settled, let's go!
Suddenly a light-blue light surrounds the human's body and they start levitating. I carefully guide them through the water and let them pick up the Old Tutu behind the waterfall before the two of us go to the next area.
Following my expectations, Papyrus is already giving Undyne his daily report. I tell my human companions to switch places before we hide in the tall gras. Well, the conversation is the same as always and Papyrus quickly disappears to the left. Frisk makes some noise to catch Undyne's attention and after the fish woman vanishes in the shadows, we leave the gras to the right and have a short talk with Monster Kid who trips afterwards. I quickly save and tell my young companions to change everytime we encounter a monster. Frisk deals with the fights while Chara accompanys me outside the conflicts.
In the next room, I expertly place the Bridge Seeds in the right places and Chara just sits with their back against the wall. Their legs are dragged to their chest and their arms rest above the first mentioned limbs. Their head is placed on top of the folded arms, a sad expression adorning their young face.
*You know, I just wanted them to be happy.
I don't respond, silently telling the young human to move on and Chara continues.
*I thought that what I did was right. That I would do my family a favor. That I could make them happy. They gave me everything I wanted: A normal life, a family, friends. I wanted to give something in return…
The little child now stares at the ceiling, their facial expression clearly showing that their mind is far away. I just finished the puzzle, so the two of us move to the next area. Neither one of us speaks a word.
The next puzzle is like the previous one with a little more difficulties, but I already know the solutions anyway. I firstly make a path to the right, so that Chara can sit on the bench and pick the Abanboned Quiche up. That way they won't get in any fights. I let them enjoy the silence and quickly finish the puzzle in the previous room. When I return, the young child still stares at the ceiling mindlessly, but this time they have tears in their eyes.
*It was just an excuse, right? I used the heroic reasoning to justify my terrible actions, but deep down I knew that I just wanted revenge. Revenge for the horrible life the humans gave me. I wanted to let my judgement befall them and rob their lives.
The small child slowly turns their head in my direction. Their face is void of any emotions and the young human looks like they fell in deep depression during my absence. They look ready to give up, to give up life, to commit suicide.
*I'm a bad child, aren't I? I'm so selfish. I was craving for the extinction of humankind. I wanted to hold them in my hands and squeeze them to death. I would tear their limbs off, maybe slowly pulling on them until they fall off. Their screams of terror would be my favorite music and the scene of humans running away in a panic would be the best show I ever saw. I would eat the flesh of their limbs and drink their blood from headless corpses. I would squash their body until the last drop of the red fluid came out. It would run my hands down and I would like it up, enjoying the taste. There would be so much of it that it would start raining blood under dark clouds. I would bath in my victory, covered in their red essence and savor the moment of satisfaction. That was my true desire. The saddest fact is that I wanted to do these horrific things, not because of my debt for monsterkind, but for my own hatred against humans. I want to die so badly, but fate just won't let me go. I climbed Mount Ebott to commit suicide and ended up with a family. This time I died together with Asriel, but was resurrected. Life punishes me with pain after pain, but when even death doesn't want me, where am I supposed to go?
Chara is sitting on the bench with their legs dragged to their chest and their arms around their legs. Their head faces me with the young child's face covered in tears and a dishonest, but still crazy smile on the lips. Their posture screams despair and hopelessness, but fate always refuses to grant them one single wish. Seems like Undertale isn't just Sans' hell anymore.
I have to help them somehow, so I summon the light-blue body once more. It takes a seat next to the suicidal child and motions them to lay their small head on its lap. Since the little human doesn't respond, my body slowly moves one of its arms around the shorter person and lightly tugs them in its direction. Chara drops on its lap like a lifeless puppet. That's a slightly alarming sight, because now even my fake body appears more like a living being than that young human. In hopes of calming Chara down even a little bit, I command one hand to stroke the little child's hair.
°Everyone can be a great person if they try.
That line finally catches Chara's attention and they look up to my body's face.
*Isn't that line from…
°Yes, Papyrus always says this. You are like Alphys, living in lies because you fear the judgement of other people. Chara, I'm saying this now because I want to help you, so listen carefully.
They nod, showing me that they understand.
°Tell them everything.
The little human abruptly sits up because of pure shock. They look at me with disbelief and panic written across their face.
*I-I could never tell them! T-They will never forgive me, they will kill me! I failed to free them, murdered their only prince and let them fall into deeper despair… T-They will hate me!
I shake my head in disapproval. They will always carry that burden with them when they don't speak about it.
°Tell them everything from the beginning to the end. How you life was before you met the monsters, what lead you to commit suicide, what made you eat the buttercups and why you commited genocide on them. Don't let anything out or they won't be able to understand you.
*T-That's impossible! I-I could never… tell them my terrible story… They will despise me. They won't understand me.
°Monsters are very understanding creatures and you know that, but they won't be able to put themselves in your position if you don't tell them everything.
*What if you won't?
°Then they will have to deal with two killers, after all I will tell them about me too.
Chara's eyes widen in realisation. They nearly forgot that I plan to confess everything myself.
°You won't be alone, I will be with you. Let's back each other up, alright?
The young child sits there for a few second, letting their mind process my words. When it finally clicked, they instantly tear up and nod before the waterdrops fall down. They hold their hands up and try to wipe the tears away in an unspectacular way. I laugh lightly at the sight and embrace them, making the little human lean on me. In that moment, Chara gives in and let's their long stored despair out. They don't fight the tears anymore and their crys can easily be heared in the whole underground. Their tiny hands grip the light-blue mass of my body, which gives in like a shirt, and they burry their head in my chest.
What I'm seeing in front of me now isn't a demon, but a crying child that needs comfort. I hug them closer to me, letting my hands pet their small back and head. We're just sitting like that for a few minutes, so that Chara can let loose of the pain they always hide inside their way to tiny soul.
When the young child finally calms down, I let them snuggle up to me and enjoy the embrace of another person. After all, they really need this short break. A couple of minutes later, Chara gets enough courage to face me again.
*I'm sorry that I wasted to much time. We should continue.
°To be honsted, dear, I think it's better if you change places with Frisk for now. You need time to rest.
*Sorry.
°Don't be sorry. I'm sure that Frisk is worried about you too.
*…Thank you.
Those are the last words before Chara closes their eyes and their face takes a blank expression. Not long after that the same face smiles up to me with its eyes closed. That was definitely Frisk.
°Welcome back, Frisk.
I pet their hair a few times before I make my body disappear and settle on their head with my glowing lightball. The young child looks up to me, a troubled expression on their face.
They ask if everything is going to be okay.
°Don't worry, I got everything under control. Don't forget to follow our routine, yeah? Well, let's go!
Finally, the whole Chara-drama ends and we can continue our way to the "WISHING ROOM". The beauty of the sparkling stones never cease to disappoint me and the music "Waterfall" just underlines the atmosphere perfectly. Here are the hopes and dreams of the whole underground. Admiring the scenery, we slowly approach the first echo flower.
*A long time ago, monsters would whisper their wishes to the stars in the sky. If you hoped with all your heart, your wish would come true. Now, all we have are these sparkling stones on the ceiling…
Frisk suddenly walks away in a slightly faster pace than normal and we arrive at the other flowers.
*Thousands of people wishing together can't be wrong! The king will prove that.
*C'mon, sis!
*Make a wish!
*I wish my sister and I will see the real stars someday…
Now the young child leaves the room in an obviously faster pace and we find five texts with ancient writing.
*(Ancient writing covers the walls… you can just make out the words.)
*"The War of Humans and Monsters."
*Why did the humans attack?
*Indeed, it seemed that they had nothing to fear.
*Humans are unbelievably strong.
*It would take the SOUL of nearly every monster…
*… just to equal the power of a single human SOUL.
*But humans have one weakness.
*Ironically, it is the strength of their SOUL.
*Its power allows it to persist outside the human body, even after death.
*If a monster defeats a human, they can take its SOUL.
*A monster with a human SOUL…
*A horrible beast with unfathomable power.
*(It's an illustration of a strange creature…)
*(There's something very unsettling about this drawing.)
My little companion grips their shirt above the place where their heart is. Holding that spot with a slightly shaking hand, the two of us use the small raft to cross the water and enter the next room. There, Undyne is awaiting us and we escape with ease. Dodging the spears and hiding in the tall gras, the female warrior only finds Monster Kid and gives up for now. After she leaves, we exit the gras and have another talk with the child monster. Afterwards, I save in the next room and we meet Sans in the room further ahead.
Upon spotting the skeleton, Frisk instantly runs towards him and tackles him with a hug. The weird part of this cute act is how Frisk insists on hiding their face in Sans' shirt. Said monster raises a skeletal eye-brow and returns the hug carefully.
*hey, kiddo. what's wrong?
The child refuses to reply and I decide to task them with buying Nice Cream from Nice Cream Guy.
°How about you buy some Nice Cream for us? I'm sure that the vendor will be very happy to have some customers.
They smile at the opportunity to please someone and quickly sprint into the cavern to the right. When they are out of sight, Sans drops his mask and sighs before facing me.
*what's wrong with frisk?
°Don't worry, I'll take care of that. I know that you have more important questions.
*all knowing like always, aren't you? the change in the timeline aside, you should know that a certain name catched my attention in the last chapter.
°A certain former royal scientist, I assume?
*bingo. what do you know about him? or wait, that's the wrong question.
Sans closes his eye-sockets and opens them again to reveal darkness.
*Tell me everything about him.
After that sentence, his eye-lights return.
°Now, now, Sans. Still distrusting here, aren't we? Tell me your part first.
*i already told you in the thrid- wait, now it's the second chapter, right? anyway, i already told you.
°You didn't tell me the whole story, Sans. I need to know if it's the right time and it will be easier to let you tell the readers.
*why don't you do it yourself?
°I'm too lazy and you are aware that the decision to give you information lies in my hands, right?
*… fine. where should i start?
°How about from your birthday?
*… you like to make other people suffer, don't you?
°Depends.
*… alright.
The skeleton sighs and braces himself mentally for some unpleasant memories. He sits down on the ground and I land on his telescope.
°Don't be so stressed, Sans. You can prepare yourself until the next chapter. I think that this chapter is long enough and I'm slightly amazed at the unexpected length of Waterfall. This is the first time where I have to split an area up. Well, I really am sorry that it took me so long to write this chapter and I don't really have an excuse. I was just too lazy! Well, that isn't entirely true. I just have too many ideas for future events that I lack the inspiration for the current progress of the story. But hey, I hope you stay tuned for more about this Sans' past! To be honest, I'm not sure if I should tell it now already, so it can be that I will make slight changes in this chapter and delay the rest of Sans' past. I will say this in advance, Sans' view of his childhood is only a small piece of the whole picture. At least that will be the case when the story progresses in the way I think it will. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and don't forget to reread the chapters I mentioned at the beginning! Sans!
*yeah, yeah. to be honest, i'm curious myself, because you said that "my view" is only a small part of the whole. i really recommend reading the next chapter, at least when q decides to let the story progress this way.
°Hey, it will still be readable, even if I decide to change things!
*okay, okay! well, hope to see you guys in the next chapter.
°till the next chap!