Author's Note: zomg, yay! New chapter. ;) I see no point in saying much else. It's hot, and you all know how much 4persephone and I love you all.
Pepper's worried, and in physical pain because of it. Her throat's so tight she can barely force sips of water down it, much less anything more substantial. Her hands have been trembling for the last half hour and no matter how often she tries, she can't drag her eyes completely off of the building's front door..
She understands that she overloaded Tony Stark with a massive amount of information, and she knows that six months of silence has just compounded that weight and turned it into a veritable wrecking ball of honesty.
She understands his reaction to the information and the reason that he stormed out, even if she also thinks it indicates she's destroyed her only hope of seeing things mended between them.
That isn't her problem right now. It isn't why she's worried. What does have her worried is that Tony's been gone for nearly three hours now, and it's the hottest part of the day. What haunts her are the bags he's already got under his eyes – like he hadn't slept for days. There was a pale tint to his lips before he left the house that made her worry and wonder whether or not he was getting enough oxygen.
The fact that Jarvis is concerned as well just makes her concerns seem all the more justified.
She'd thought that Mick would have enough sense to drag Tony's ass home before he strained himself beyond his limits. Well, that or after giving him a few minutes to calm himself down, out there in the stifling heat. Now she wasn't sure if Mick just wants the bragging rights to hauling the unconscious bastard home or if he falls within Tony Stark's ability to manipulate any Potts, like they have some kind of weird genetic anomaly.
Of course, Mick doesn't answer his cell phone when she calls it and she can hear Tony's ringing in the bedroom when she tries that one. She's on the phone with Happy, ordering the other man home when the front door to the beach house creaks open. Mick's standing there, Tony half leaning against him – clearly more than half supported by her brother, who's looking pretty stressed himself.
Pepper's heart drops alarmingly before rebounding and jumping into her throat where it starts pounding at double speed.
"Happy, find that doctor that Tony's been avoiding and get him here now. Do you understand me? NOW." Then she hangs up and she's on Tony's other side, helping Mick to get him to the couch.
"Water," she snaps at her brother as she turns the A/C down a full five degrees.
"No need for a doctor. I made a call to my friend from the local pub. He doesn't usually take house calls, but for Iron Man I'm thinking he'll make an exception." Mick waves off any help she might have offered moving Tony to a bedroom, opting for the couch right under the window. "I'm sorry...I would have called to let you know what was happening, but I realized about the time he started puking that my cell phone is still in my car."
The blond man eases Tony onto the couch, slapping his cheeks a little lightly. "Man, you so owe me a new pair of boots. Why didn't you tell me your stomach isn't handling solid food? I would have stopped trying to force feed you."
Tony sighs a little, apparently conscious enough to speak if not conscious enough to move. "It only happens that way about half of the time. I tried to stick with water but someone insisted on ordering those damn pineapple slushies." He opens his eyes and literally whines at her brother, "Can you please get out of my fucking face for ten minutes? I mean you're worse than a date...at least they listen when I decide it's time for them to leave."
Pepper ignores all of this, even though it's pretty much her worst fear come to life. 'God, they like each other.' Which meant sooner or later they were going to end up as friends. She's not prepared for the idea, or the trouble such a relationship is inevitably going to cause her. Instead of letting herself dwell on the subject though, she concentrates on making Tony comfortable. She brings two pillows from the bedroom and stuffs them behind him whether he wants them or not. She strips him out of his t-shirt – ignoring Mick's gasp of shock at the sight of the arc reactor embedded in Tony's chest.
Then she plants herself at Tony's side with a basin of water and a kitchen towel and starts wiping him down.
She assumes she doesn't have to tell Mick to forget about his idiotic bartender-friend-alternative-to-a-doctor plan.
She doesn't meet Tony's eyes. Not when she's this angry. There's too much fear, frustration, and concern curdling in her gut. So she washes him down with hands that tremble and a set of tightly pursed lips, and she tries to decide what the hell she's going to do now.
Tony's obviously incapable of taking care of himself. She used to joke about it but it's no longer funny. It's an inconvenient time for him to lapse back to infancy.
Mick meanwhile is gaping. "You have…what in hell is that you have in your chest, Man?"
Tony cracks one eyelid and smirks. "What? You disapprove or something? Why? You looked like the type who'd be into piercing to me."
Mick frowns, leans forward and sniffs him suspiciously. "Pepper, get me your glucose kit. Now. Man, for a guy you're smelling suspiciously sweet."
'He thinks Tony's in ketosis,' Pepper realizes, though even that isn't enough to make her leave Tony's side right now. "It's in my car." She runs her cloth over his face again, more gentle than she has been up to now.
"Is it unlocked?" Mick pushes himself up from where he kneeled down till he's back up on his feet. "Wait...never mind. I can pick it if I have to."
Her brother turns, then, and hurries from the room. He's moving at too fast a pace for her to believe he's only minorly worried. Tony meanwhile, grimaces up at her in a half assed sort of way. He raises a hand to his forehead. "For the record Pepper: time to call a doctor. 'Cause I pretty much feel like shit."
"I already told Happy to find that cardiologist you've been avoiding. Damnit, Stark! You're too old to actually need a babysitter!"
He manages to look a little hurt, which is actually ridiculous. He's the one who put himself in this situation, so he should get no sympathy. "In case you didn't notice, Pepper, I was a pretty damn pissed, which according to my shrink and my doctor is something that might actually kill me." His eyes narrow. "Thanks so much for sic'ing the queen of the damned on me, by the way. You might have warned me that the bastard would try and hit on me just for shits and for giggles when you told me he was your brother."
"Yes, well, if you'd been reasonable, I doubt he would have resorted to that. You know what's reasonable in this heat? Fifteen minutes. Maybe a half an hour. Not almost three hours, Tony."
He sighs, deeply. Sort of melts into the coolness of the towel she presses into his face.
"I was really, really pissed, Pepper. And you're kind of occupying my only other place of retreat. I had to take a walk and cool down. I couldn't..." His Adam's apple bobs and she can see the guilt on his face. "I scared you, physically, and I could see it. Under the circumstances, I couldn't very well come back until I knew I had it tamped down enough not to blow up again."
There it is again, that almost razor edged honesty he kept throwing at her in unswallowable amounts. And like she's been doing, she ignores the important part of what he just said and focuses on the mundane details.
"Tony, I'm pretty sure you've got heat stroke. That's about the last thing you need. Next time tell me to get my ass out the door. I'm perfectly capable of calling a taxi."
He shakes his head, and clenches his jaw. "I don't know where you live, Pepper. How in hell was I supposed to have found you after I came back, if I'd done that? Because there is no way in hell I'm giving you another opening to pop-smoke on me." He grimaces and closes his eyes. "Once was more than enough."
"Fine," she snarls, because while her first instinct is to take care of him, her second one is to run like hell before she can hurt him more, which she is obviously doing. That urge to retreat is screaming at her right now, and it's also making her shaky. "Then you're perfectly capable of calling a goddamned taxi!"
"Whoa..." Mick's standing in the doorway, Pepper's kit in his hand. "You are in serious shit, man, if she's started swearing."
Mick walks over and puts a hand on his sister's shoulder. "Breathe, Ginny, and take a load off. Or you're going to be the one with the coronary and I can barely handle him at the moment." He sets the open glucose kit on the end table, points a finger at Tony. "And as for you, Stark, I told you to go easy on her. If this is your version, you're a serious need of some smacking around." He reaches out and grabs Tony's wrist a little too roughly. "You need your sugars checked, now give me your hand."
"Knock it off, Mick. Stop being such an asshole." She takes the device from him and pulls Tony's hand into her lap with far more tenderness than her tone indicates. For a moment she massages his index finger as if to ensure there's actually blood flowing, and then she presses the button. He doesn't much react, which disturbs her. Of course, as far as invasive procedures go, he's faced much worse.
Then she pricks his finger, wets the strip and feeds the data into the handheld machine.
She lets Mick get all commanding when he pulls the results out of her hand. She would walk out of the room now and let him deal with all of this if she thought her legs wouldn't fold up on her after a few steps. Mick takes in the whole thing with a disgusted shake of his head. "Do you have any idea how fucking messed up your dynamic is? You're tearing holes into each other, and yet I talk bad to either of you and you're both threatening to murder me. Tony our address is 871 Savannah Lane, and I will give you my cell phone number, before you two leave for Malibu. I guarantee with my contacts, she can't possibly find a place on the planet she deep enough to hide from the whole damn agency."
The glucometer beeps and he frowns at the result. "Shit man, 47? Why are you even conscious enough to be giving us this kind of crap?"
"Tony excels at giving crap," Pepper replies before Tony can. She stands up, ignoring the way the room blacks out for a moment. It's nothing new. She's just getting hungry. "There was a can of Sprite in the fridge. You," she says, pointing at Tony, "are going to drink it. Understood?" It's the best she can come up with on short notice to get some sugar into his bloodstream.
She makes it as far as the nearest chair before her knees go all loose. She curses, and ignores it. Maybe it's time for a slice of Mick's cake, even if she doesn't particularly feel like eating.
Tony protests. "I just threw up a whole god-damn slushy. Forgive me if I don't think that's going to be a good idea."
Mick actually slaps him upside the head as she leaves the room. "I didn't realize you hadn't eaten anything in at least twelve hours, you dumb ass. A high sugar, totally non-nutritional cup of processed frozen sugar was not the way to force your stomach back into the game."
Pepper comes back with a clear glass of liquid which she's stirring, a sleeve of Ritz, and bowl. It's obvious she's pretty serious about getting something in him. "You're going to make me drink flat pop?" Tony whines, as he reluctantly starts to nibble on a cracker.
Her eyes narrow at him. "Don't push me, Stark. Until you start showing some sense, I'm going to do it for you." And she meant it.
She didn't know how he'd ended up such a moronic imbecile, but they would be talking about it later.
Mick shakes his head. "You're looking for miracles, Ginny. Until he eats something and gets some sleep there are going to be some house pets out there with more sense than he has right now." Mick scowls. "You had a heart attack sometime Stark, and now you're treating your body like crap. Are you trying to kill yourself or is this just a case of outright idiocy?"
Tony catches Pepper's eye, and she hisses at him. He raises his hands in object surrender. "Just keep in mind I'm not the only one you should be asking that question, Michael. I didn't get here alone. I did the best that I could. Now if you're done insulting my mind, my personality and my manhood, I'm going ignore you and pass out."
Mick nods at that, rolling his eyes as he does so. "Good, then I can bitch at Ginny without distraction." This time her brother doesn't take no for an answer when he grabs Pepper's hand and tests her with the glucometer before she can protest. "Yeah, I saw that wobble," he informs her as she snatches her hand back the moment he lets her. "Loverboy over here probably can't see more than a few feet away, but I've been keeping an eye on you for months."
"I'm fine, Mick." She tries to growl but it comes out like a squeak. He smiles tightly and waves the glucometer in front of her face.
"If by fine, you mean better than Stark, you are absolutely correct. If you mean healthy, you're deluded. When's the last time you ate?"
The fact that Tony says nothing from the couch is proof quite positive that he's finally actually gone to sleep.
Pepper glances down at his unconscious figure, then meets her brother's eyes. "I've been too sick with worry to eat." Her tone is much less combative now that Tony's actually asleep. "I'll get something in a minute. I want to call Happy and see where he is. He'll know when the doctor can get here."
"Ginny, I told you it's already covered. Phillip from the pub should be here in another few minutes. He'll look at Tony."
"I don't want 'Phillip from the pub', I want the cardiologist who already knows about the glowing blue disc in Tony's chest." She pokes Mick directly in the chest to drive her point home.
"For God's sake Pepper, stop being an idiot. Phillip is a cardiologist, not to mention a trauma surgeon with the US Marines." Mick sighs and points her back to a chair. "You need to start listening, Ginny. If this is your typical pattern, it's no big surprise you're practically killing yourselves trying not to kill each other."
He sighs and run a hand back through his hair. "Admittedly, I have no clue in hell what Phillip will make of that...whatever in the hell it is that's sticking out of his sternum. Still," he shakes his head, "you thought Phillip was a bartender? God, Ginny, I know you are in love with him, but start using your brain."
The words burn like acid, and she feels the tears well in her eyes. "Stop lecturing me, Michael! I know what I'm talking about! Mick, the fewer people who know about that thing, the better off he is, trust me. It's not just a body modification; it's what's keeping him alive."
"Ms Potts, Happy has not been able to reach Tony's doctor in Savannah yet, and the town's almost 45 minutes away. If Mr – I'm sorry I have not been formally introduced, but I believe they call you 'Michael' – knows a person who is closer it is advisable we use them. Especially if he's military and Mick has said he's a Marine."
Despite everything, Pepper almost laughs at the way Mick jumps and spins around, looking for whoever had spoken. "Jarvis, this is Michael Potts, my brother. Feel free to call him Mick. Mick, this Jarvis."
"Freaking hell! You guys are seriously creepy. Though thanks for the support, I guess...now are we all now agreed on letting him see Phillip?"
From the couch a very tired voice speaks. "The patient agrees at least. I already have a clearance code that will work in putting a gag on just about anyone who works in the military. And if I need help with that, Jarvis can put a call in to Rhodey."
That settles it, though Pepper still isn't happy. But if Tony's willing to contact someone he's been mad at for months over this, then she's willing to give in. She leaves her seat and walks around Mick before regaining her seat on the couch at Tony's hip. "You're sure?" she asks. He hasn't opened his eyes, but his right hand finds her knee. She holds it there when he would have pulled it away. "Eat something, too, Pepper." His voice is soft, but authoritarian. She wonders how he can pull off that tone so well when he can't even walk.
His eyes crack open and he looks at her though, and she knows...knows absolutely that if she does anything but nod he will become very, very "unhappy."
"Jarvis, I want you to pull up every relevant file on Tony's health that you have. Be prepared to brief the doctor when he gets here." Her shoulders slump and she meets Tony's eyes. "Can I eat in here where I can at least listen in, or am I being banished to the bedroom until he's left?"
"If you keep your head down...this Phillip doesn't know they're looking for you. He can't be held accountable if he doesn't know he's supposed to turn you in."
Tony squeezes her hand. "I want you to stay..."
The hunger in his eyes leaves a knot in her stomach. He's not talking about this visit with the doctor anymore, so she redirects him. "You need to drink some more of your Sprite," she orders him softly, and to her amazement, he actually complies.
Mick looks from him to her, a little confused now. "Okay, why the heck do I get the feeling there was an entire conversation I don't know about in the last two sentences spoken? What do you mean 'bring her in?'"
Pepper sighs. "Whoever was in charge of fashioning a background for me after I left the CIA only made a half-assed attempt, apparently. People started digging while I was away and Tony handled a lot of contracts for the military." She knows that Mick can put the pieces together. "They think I might have breached national security."
He turns to Tony. "Just how paranoid are you? I mean she resigns and you start checking her background? Sounds a little obsessive to me."
"Tony didn't set this in motion. And I didn't resign," Pepper sighs. "I left. I told you I left. Nobody really knew how to find me."
"Left in this case being a one sentence note and two months of no contact," Tony speaks up quietly from the couch. "If I'm obsessive for being afraid she'd been taken, well then you can draw and quarter me."
Mick turns on his sister, and now he's angry, like he's ready to strangle her himself. Like he can't believe what he's hearing. "You said you were on leave, Ginny. You sat there on our living room couch when you came here and you told me."
Her eyes drop to the floor, and then rise up to her brother's. "Yes, well, I hadn't decided whether or not I was going to keep the baby at that point. Once I made the decision, I did resign."
Mick makes an aborted move like he's going to reach out and shake her. Then he drops his hands and turns his head.
"You have no idea, Virginia, how badly I want to strangle you right now."
Pepper ignores this. It doesn't matter what Mick thinks. Hesitantly she meets the eyes of the man whose opinion does matter. He looks...disappointed. "You would have just come back like nothing had happened?" he asks her in a voice that tears at her heart.
"For awhile. I would have tried to," but they both know she's lying. She wouldn't have been the same person any longer, and she suspects he would have seen straight through any attempt at deception. It was one of the main reasons she'd just bent to her fate in the end. "Just long enough to train my replacement."
Inside her the baby kicks, and she put her hand on her belly. It's a silent apology to the most vulnerable victim to come out of this mess. "I...I just didn't know, Tony. I had to sort my way through it. By the time I let myself think abortion, there was a heartbeat and a sonogram to check my progress. I just couldn't go through it."
"Damn right, you couldn't," Mick growls in her general direction. "Whether you like to admit it or not you're Catholic. And you actually care about this shit."
Her brother had always hated when she went against her own basic belief system. He'd always claimed it was her version of rampant self destruction.
"This really isn't your concern, Mick."
It goes unsaid that it is Tony's.
It's dark when the screen door slams shut behind Pepper. She's been after Mick to do something about it since she moved in, but he hasn't, and probably deliberately. She suspects he likes having an extra way to keep track of her movements. It's also the price she's paying for not agreeing to go with Tony to the Hilton this evening.
He wanted her to of course, and if she was honest it was mutual. But she can't escape the thought that in one sense or another they'd needed a little distance between them. The last twelve hours have been absolutely devastating for both of them. Though probably in different matters.
His health is in shambles and she's exhausted beyond description emotionally.
The air is heavy, almost as pregnant as she is, but the clouds coming in off the coast are sparking with flickers of lightning. They're in for a storm tonight, and Pepper intends to watch it. Thunderstorms – real thunderstorms, not the occasional weak bang!crashes that the West Coast gets – are one of the few things she's missed about living in Georgia it's the storms…and the lightning bugs.
It's late, she realizes as she takes a seat on the porch swing. Past ten o'clock. She ought to be in bed – something Mick reminded her of just moments ago – but she's got too much to think about. And Mick…well, he's still too pissed off at her to do much more than remind her of all the things she ought to be doing.
It's funny. That's almost exactly how she used to treat Tony…
Tony had been asleep when she and Mick left his house. Happy was going to be taking him back to the hotel as soon as he woke up. In fact, he'd slept most of the afternoon away. Mick's buddy Phil had taken one look at Tony and said he didn't care what the hell was wrong with his heart. Tony's problem was exhaustion, dehydration, malnutrition, and a nearly debilitating case of stupidity…and not necessarily in that order.
Pepper had been amused to actually hear a doctor actually say the words, "Take two aspirin for the headache and call me in the morning." Then he'd hung an IV.
Tony had bitched and she'd informed him he had two seconds to stop bitching or she was going to…
Well she hadn't specified. It wouldn't have been pretty.
Of course, she hadn't been nearly as amused when Mick had then turned Phil loose on her. She apparently wasn't eating or resting enough. He'd told her to "go take a nap with your boyfriend. You'll both be better off for it." She doesn't even want to think about the awkward silence that comment had caused. Instead she closes her eyes and inhales deeply, relishing the sharp tang of ozone in the air. The air is cooler than it's been for several days now, though not cool enough to make her regret wearing nothing but her pajamas out. Her cotton shorts and tank top do absolutely nothing to protect her from the elements, but since she doesn't plan to go dance in the rain or anything, that's not really a problem….
She just wants to sit, and be at peace, and feel her baby.
A light sweeps across her closed eyes, and she sighs. Yes, Tony would have to come along and prove her wrong about her choices in wardrobe. Well, that's too bad for him. She's comfortable and she isn't going to get up to change. To hell with her swollen ankles and her too big for the tank-top belly.
"Who's that?" Mick's voice comes out through the screen door. He's standing squinting at the car as it arrives.
"My baby daddy," Pepper says with a heavy dose of sarcasm.
Mick chuckles lightly at that, and taps his fingers on the wiring. "I knew it! Whoa…nice wheels. Think I could get him to let me drive?"
"I was joking," Pepper hisses at him as she looks over the sporty little coup parked in front of the house. It's definitely Tony. "Don't tell him I said that."
There must be something in her voice that alerts Mick to trouble. "You told him, didn't you?" he asks. There's no telling what he thinks or feels about the fact Tony knows who the father actually is.
Michael has tolerated her secrets up till now, but knowing he's been replaced as her primary confessor might well invoke an actual pity-party.
"Mick…he's really the only one who has a right to know. Though I haven't completely ruled out telling you yet, eventually. I'm hoping twenty years and a few thousand miles between us might keep you from overreacting if I finally give you a name."
When Mick speaks up again, there's a hint of amusement in his voice. Apparently he's willing to forgive her eventually. "Just remember – no sex."
"Gee, Dad, thanks for the reminder." Pepper just looks down at her belly. 'Sex. Right.' She's the size of a whale and feels about one eighth as pretty. Still, she's glad it's dark out since she doesn't want him seeing any of this. "Just don't wait up for me."
Tony's finally getting out of his car. She'd wondered if he was going to, or if he was just doing a drive by to verify the address Mick gave him. "Let me guess: you forgot how to sleep," she calls as he shuts his door. There's a sense of finality to the movement.
"You laugh," he replies, but he doesn't sound like he's joking. Pepper watches him climb the steps and cross the porch. He stands in front of her, watching her, and finally she can't take it anymore. She's scared of what he might see. After today she knows he has absolutely no reason to care for her, trust her, respect her, or even like her.
But here he is.
She pats the seat of the swing, inviting him to join her and he takes the invitation. He's still staring, but now it's easier to avoid his gaze. She watches the lighting moving closer and pretends to ignore his eyes.
They don't speak, but the silence isn't necessarily awkward. It actually feels more…expectant. Like somehow the storm is a reflection of their lives. A smile flashes across Pepper's face almost too quickly to be caught. She knows that it's more likely that they're reacting to the storm.
The first growl of thunder reaches them when Tony reaches over and palms the back of her neck. "Com'on, Pep." He manages to shift them both without dumping them out of the swing. They're laying along the bench now, Tony against the arm, Pepper resting a little awkwardly against his chest. She's glad she keeps pillows out here because it's probably the only thing saving his back. Still, when she shifts, trying to make herself comfortable, he makes her lean up so he can put one behind her back.
Pepper leans back again and settles with one hand at her side and the other on her belly. She can feel his chest move up and down behind her. He's got one leg braced against the opposite arm and one foot on the ground. Slowly he begins to rock. The gentle rhythm of it helps her relax, and she draws in a deep breath. It's scented with ozone, moisture, and something she eventually recognizes as Tony. It wasn't familiar at first because there was no metallic undertone to it.
One of his arms lays along the back of the swing. Eventually the other one comes up so that his hand is laying over the one she's got on her stomach. It rests there, and she waits.
Lightning flashes, thunder growls….
"Pepper…"
'One one thousand. Two one thousand. Three one thousand…' She waits for the rest of whatever drove him from his own house.
"I'm done, Pepper."
Though she's been preparing for something like this, it still hurts more than she'd imagined.
"Oh." Her voice is high pitched because she can barely force the word past frozen vocal cords. She clears her throat and tries again. "Oh." And why shouldn't he be? For all of her complaining in the past, Tony at least had some example of how a couple who loved each other worked. His parents had at least demonstrated proper loving behavior.
She was the one with no clue about anything. Tony had one night stands because he didn't want more. She had one night stands because she didn't know how to do anything else.
His forehead is resting against her shoulder, and he's laughing – laughing – against her ear, a little ironically. When she shivers at the sensation he moves so that his chin is resting on his shoulder. "You just missed everything I said, didn't you?"
"You're done." Saying the words doesn't hurt any less than hearing them. "I suppose I can't blame you, and I appreciate that you came to tell me. It's more than I probably deserve –"
He turns her head and softly presses his lips to hers.
Rain starts to fall. She can hear it hissing against the grass. Tony's lips are perfectly still; his kiss is warmth and pressure and…and patience. Pepper draws a ragged breath, breaking the kiss. For a moment his nose brushes against her cheek and then he pulls her back against him and rests his check on the crown of her head.
"You weren't listening. I don't like this role reversal, Potts. You are supposed to be the focused, detail-oriented, patient one. I'm the one who's supposed to pay attention only when I feel like it."
She doesn't know what to say to that, except, "I'm confused. If you're done, why did you just kiss me?"
His hand tightens atop hers, and the one on the swing drops. He brings both hands together until he's essentially cradling her belly. "Because I meant it. I'm done listening to you blame yourself for all of this. I'm done getting angry at you because you come at everything like it's the only option for response I have. Do you want to hear me say that you screwed up? Well you did. Drastically and spectacularly. And yes, after those first few weeks it started to feel as if the only thing you'd left behind was a knife in my gut and the numbness was just starting to wear off. It did. It was hell, Pepper." His voice is rough with emotion now, and he stops. Just stops.
And then he sets them both free.
"It was hell because the only thing I could focus on was my worry for you. And today was hell because now I can see that at least half of my worries were justified, another quarter are probably justified, and I'd lay even bets that there's at least another third that I never even thought to worry about that I'll get to in the future." He leans forward and kisses the side of her temple. "That's the reason I'm done. However badly you hurt me, you've done worse damage to yourself."
Pepper's muscles ache with the force it takes not to run. It doesn't matter that she wouldn't get far because, frankly, she can't run in her state. The need to hide is still overwhelming. So she turns to words that have always hidden her before. "I'm f-"
"If you dare tell me you're fine, I'm going to go inside, wake up your brother, and give him Delaney's home address." There's dark satisfaction in Tony's voice. "Don't think I won't. Don't lie to yourself, and do not lie to me."
She's never considered that Tony has never been tricked by her words, just convinced it was alright to turn a blind eye.
"I'm not in as bad shape a as you." He hasn't said she can't imply that she was fine by comparison.
"You heard your brother's army buddy –"
"Marines." He shakes his head.
"The only reason I'm so sick is because I'm a goddamned idiot." 'Who didn't want to live without you.'
She can't help but laugh, even if it is a weak laugh. "After that stunt of yours this afternoon, I'm inclined to believe him."
Still, it can't be as easy as all that. He can't just decide that he's not going to get mad at her anymore, and if she acts as if he should it's because, well…he should. Why else would she be stuck in such an awful purgatory?
"Tony –"
"No!" he growls in his ear as his arms tighten, his free leg lifting to enfold her. "No. I am tabling this discussion, Pepper. I'm not saying I won't slip, that I won't have my moments. That this isn't going to be the hardest fucking thing I will ever do. Or that you and I will ever do for that matter. But I lived for six months without you. I lived six months without knowing if you were alive, or dead, or even the woman you'd always seemed to be. It upset everything, Pepper. I had nothing. I am not going to voluntarily go back to that hell. Do you understand? I am through with being without you.
"I quit," he says, and he waits for an answer.
Lightning flashes, and thunder rolls through the air, but Pepper is absolutely still inside. Tony's passionate defense of his decision has left her paralyzed. She doesn't understand. No, she does understand. She does, because the thought of him flying back to Malibu at the end of the week is enough to bring her to her knees in every meaning of the word.
She gasps, realizes that she hadn't been breathing, and draws down another deep breath.
His hand ghosts up to press against her sternum. "Breathe, Pepper. Breathe. None of this passing out business." Her chest makes his hand rise again. "Good…that's it. I really appreciate this because honestly, I get a little freaked out when you lose control."
She breathes deeply again and her muscles start to get all weak and shaky. "The Pepper I know hardly ever loses control. Sure, there are extreme circumstances, like her boss admitting on live television that he likes to dress up in a metal suit…" He laughs as she groans softly. "However, I'm beginning to suspect that I was stupid to assume Pepper and Virginia were the exact same person."
He kisses her temple again. "It doesn't matter though. Because I'm taking them both."