Author's notes: This chapter is fairly artless; just me making stupid jokes that no one will laugh at. And for my friends the fangirls, a lovely smattering of Cedric. Also, Cat comes out and into her own a bit. Girl power baby.
Oh, and today I watched the entire series of Mai-Hime, so this is probably riddled with anime clichés. What can you do?
I dedicate this chapter to the lioness, because I can. After I wrote it I thought about Juice, so this one's for you.
Chapter Four: Queen Bee and Baby Duck
"You look like a regular ray of sunshine," chirped Hannah, meeting Catherine in front of the Defense against the Dark Arts classroom. It was the last subject of the day, and while Cat had continued to join her sister for meals at the Slytherin table she was slightly apprehensive of Lizzy's new blasé attitude.
Well, perhaps not new but certainly misdirected.
"Hey, I wanted to ask you something." Cat fiddled with the strap on her bag, leaning against the cold stone wall.
"Alright." Hannah looked at her expectantly.
"Right. Well… I was just wondering about the Houses here. And the rivalry. And… Slytherin," she finished lamely.
"To be honest rivalry around here can sometimes be taken a bit far, usually around Quidditch season. But most of us have friends in other Houses, if that's what you're getting at. Gryffindor, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff all seem to be fairly amicable most of the time; it's really only the Slytherins that go out of their way to set themselves apart. Because of the affiliation the House has with Pure Blood families and the Dark Arts, the hostility goes a little bit deeper than merely Quidditch or House points. It's about social and magical superiority at whatever cost." Hannah leaned next to her, crossing her arms.
"Hmm. They have a lot of ties with Death Eaters too, don't they?"
"I suppose. The founder of the House believed that magic was for Purebloods only, and the sentiment has always resonated with members of the House. A lot of the kid's parents are supposedly Death Eaters, but you can't really make an assumption like that about all of them."
"How very equitable of you Hannah." Cedric approached with a large group of classmates. Cat supposed they followed him around, waiting for him to shed a stray hair so that they may frame it or add it to a mannequin created in his likeness.
"Afternoon Catherine." Cedric bowed his head a little.
"Cedric." Cat obligingly acknowledged him.
"Hannah. Catherine." Ernie joined them.
"Ernie!"
"Big nose."
"Pardon?"
"I said… 'Big nose'," Cat repeated slowly.
"Oh. Steady on, it's not that big!" Ernie defended himself, self-consciously touching his nose.
"Nah mate, it's huge." Cedric grinned.
"Well. You have a girly haircut." Ernie fumbled for a retort.
"No need to get defensive. Your nose has been my greatest companion these six years past," Cedric stated sincerely.
"No, wait. I think you misunderstood me… Your nose is very large. It's almost like a beak, it's beautiful. A matchless great amongst inferior contenders." Cat stared at him earnestly, tentatively outstretching her hand to touch it.
"You're really serious," Ernie stated incredulously, backing away.
"Of course." It was at this point that Catherine found the conversation all too tiresome and so began to occupy herself by looking out the corridor window, catching snippets of conversation like a gentle breeze.
"I heard the new teacher was Finnius Fighorn, from the Seventh Order of the Rising Capsicum," Ernie shared conspiratorially.
"He wasn't at the sorting ceremony," Hannah mused.
"Maybe he was fighting a banshee, I didn't see Trelawney there either," one of Cedric's male followers joked. Odious creature.
"Actually, I was speaking to our new professor a few minutes ago at a Heads meeting with the Hogwarts teaching staff."
"Well? Who was it? It is Fighorn isn't it." Ernie confirmed himself.
"Of course it isn't. Why on Earth would he come here?" Hannah rolled her eyes.
"He's not entirely wrong you know. Fighorn is officially our new Defense teacher, but was unfortunately leaked on by the seventh year practical for Care of Magical Creatures."
"Leaked on?"
"Yes, nasty bit of acidpox on his arms. Completely wiped them off."
"How terrible, you mean he has no arms?"
"He's growing them back. It should take a month or so for the complete rehabilitation, so for the mean time we'll be instructed by-"
"Hello Catherine." Remus Lupin gave her a worn, crinkle-eyed smile.
"Remus. Are you teaching us?" Catherine's lips twitched with excitement.
"For today. Dumbledore roped me into it on a routine visit I'm afraid, I'll be here until another substitute can be found. Anyone who has a problem with me teaching the class may present me with their concerns directly." Remus addressed the class. No one spoke.
"It's nice to have you back, Professor." Ernie offered.
"Thank-you Mr. Macmillan." Remus ushered them into the classroom.
"Alright seventh years, Professor Fighorn left a lesson outline that indicates we should be starting with an introduction to advanced dueling. However, due to the fact that many of you are inexperienced in this subject for various reasons I suggest we start with the basics. Everyone, move the desks to the side and find yourself a partner." Remus stood in front of his desk.
"Hannah?" Catherine asked.
"Sorry, I promised Ernie we'd partner for classes. I'm coming to regret that promise though." Hannah smiled kindly.
"Hey Ced, partner?" Justin Finch-Fletchley asked. Cedric cast sideways glance across the classroom.
"Next time mate, I think Megan's trying to get your attention."
Cat frowned and chewed on her lower lip, she hated group work. Her thoughts were broken as a human shadow loomed over her.
"What do you want?"
"A cleanser that won't leave my skin dry. You?" Cedric grinned.
"Your absence."
"Well. This is a partner activity, and neither of us have the option of finding another partner so I suppose we're stuck together," he stated matter-of-factly, though there was something defiantly awkward about it.
"I find that very hard to believe. Why do you want to be my partner anyway?" Cat crossed her arms, staring at the front of the classroom.
"Diplomatic immunity."
"What?" Cat screwed her face up indignantly.
"As Head Boy I relegate all questions to be deferred to such a time as… Simon says pancakes." He smiled abashedly.
"Hilarious. I'm wetting my pants as we speak," she mumbled.
"I'm glad. It took me a whole three hours to think of that one."
"I'm sure." Cat sighed, pushing herself up from the desk.
"Alright students. We'll begin with disarming only. Susan, would you care to demonstrate?" Moving to the front of the classroom, Susan faced the Professor and bowed before yelling, "Expelliarmus!"
Lupin's wand flew to the side of the room.
"Easy. Now, take turns and do the same."
"I'll start," offered Cedric. Cat nodded.
"Expelliarmus!" As soon as he had pronounced the spell, he fell backwards. Cat walked over to him, offering him a hand.
"What did you do?" He ignored her hand. Standing he brushed imaginary dust off his trousers, a faint red staining his cheeks.
"I blocked." Cat's tone indicated that it was fairly obvious.
"Ye- but-… You weren't meant to do that."
"Are you saying I don't have a right to defend myself?" Cat asked indignantly. Sensing the need for a mediator Remus stepped between them.
"He's right Miss. Hardgrave. You weren't meant to block. This is only practice," he stated evenly.
"That's ridiculous. It's a complete infringement upon my rights, only creeps and perverts would say otherwise." She eyed both of them skeptically.
Remus reddened a little, a smile tugging at his lips.
"Well. How about you swap positions then. Miss. Hardgrave, you may disarm Mr. Diggory," Remus cast him a slightly humored apologetic look.
"Right."
"Expelliarmus." Cat announced the spell like she was casually telling someone the time. Nonetheless, light shot out from her wand and was instantly deflected as another spell was cast in her direction.
Reacting immediately Cat set up a shield and averted the spell.
"Furnunculus," Cat shot at Cedric. It was at this point the entire class seemed to have been drawn into the duel, whispering predicted outcomes and suggesting different moves.
Cedric dodged, countering with a hurling hex which was repelled by Cat's knee-reversing hex. He managed to physically dodge it, moving to her left side.
"Evanesco!" Cedric yelled. Everyone was silent, staring at Cat. Or at least, where she would have been seen standing if Cedric had not just turned her invisible.
Remus stepped forward, clapping slowly.
"Well done Mr. Diggory. Now if you please, perhaps you could escort your dueling partner to the infirmary to have the spell reversed," Remus suggested in that vaguely patronizing tone which most teachers seemed overly fond of.
"Yeah. Well done Diggory," Cat grumbled. The entire class had erupted in laughter.
"Just come on." Cedric rolled his eyes and flushed a deep red, reaching out for her arm.
"HANDS!" Cat yelled, smacking his arm away and audibly stomping out of the classroom.
"Catherine?" Cedric called once he had escaped into the hall.
"If you're coming hurry up already," Catherine huffed.
"Come on. I didn't mean to do that, I couldn't see-"
"Yeah whatever. Just shut-up about it."
"Okay." Cedric sighed, though his discomfort was lessened slightly by the firm pinch on his sleeve, alerting him to Catherine's presence.
As he ascended a flight of stairs to the infirmary Cedric noticed she was no longer clutching his robe. He tentatively stuck his hands out in the space around him, feeling for his lost companion.
"What on earth are you doing?" A voice asked from the top of the stairs.
"Catherine?" Cedric asked in relief.
"Nope. Her sister."
"Oh."
"What were you doing-OH!" Lizzy jumped into the air.
"Cold hands!" She yelped, hugging the sides of her body protectively. A soft, maniacal sort of laugh reverberated beside her.
"Cat?" Lizzy called into the empty space.
"Yes?" a highly amused voice replied.
"You little fiend. Where are you?" Lizzy turned around.
"Here." Cat placed her cold hands under Lizzy's jumper and on her waist.
"What happened?" She pulled Cat's hands out and cupped them together in her own.
"Ask the genius over there." Cat pointed their hands in Cedric's direction.
"Ah… Casualty of war," he stated uncertainly.
"Where are we going then?" Lizzy asked, linking her arm in her sister's. To the average onlooker she appeared somewhat like a teapot.
"Infirmary. Are you coming or not?" Cat called in Cedric's direction before walking off with her sister.
"Right." Cedric caught up, surprised when Cat pinched his sleeve again.
A/N: Aside from chapter one, if you can tell me the name of each band that sings the songs which are coincidentally the titles for my chapters, I will shower you with devotion. Next chapter: There will be Cedric, but I'm going to try to focus on the story of the sisters a little more. :D
Cait: Never smug dear, always with a face of… dulcet divinity. Har har har.
It's you of course: Welly welly well. High praise mistress (for someone who doesn't even read Harry Potter). To start off with I had the idea of basing L on Krissi and C on me, but as the chapters progressed the characters came out on their own. I'm not that emo or stoic and K isn't the type to ditch a sister. Though I suppose when Cat is really blunt, I'm expressing my desire to tell people what I think (it's like therapy- I'm always sooo witty in my head). And Lizzy gets on with everyone and is really affectionate, like Krissi. As I was reading the first few chapters back to myself, it sort of sounds like I have some sort of inferiority complex with Krissi if you take the characters literally… but that's why they're not really us. I think there will be some U-R.S.T, but I want this story to be more character-centric, and less based on a particular romance. Though it's always fun to include. Cedric did die in the fourth book, but in the land of fanfiction writers can resurrect the dead, rewrite history and RULE THE WORLD! FUCKIN A!
As for the eye thing, there really isn't any significance whatsoever. The eye doesn't shoot lasers or anything. It plays on the theme of physical superiority I suppose; even though they're identical twins one of them looks superficially better and is treated differently because she has a matching pair of eyes. Also, I suppose deep down I hold a real fondness for the deranged protagonist. I'd like to see the freaks win the battle for once (make of that what you will). ONWARDS BIGNOSE! ONWARDS WEIRD-EYES! FORWARDS CLOWN CHEEKS! Conquer!