Song: Torn to Pieces by Pop Evil

Chapter 4: Torn to Pieces

Rey had to admit, after going out and getting to know Ben they worked together much easier. It had been a few weeks and they worked together better than she thought they would. They were almost getting along too well, which scared her more than she thought it would. The problem wasn't that they were friends; it was that she was starting to see him as more than a friend. It turned out that Jessika was right, once you got passed his walls, Ben could actually be sweet and encouraging.

"My mom has been bugging me and Jason to figure out a name for the band," he admitted. "I have a name in mind, I'm just not sure I can use it," he bit his lip, which Rey found incredibly distracting. "I'm just not sure what my mom will think of it, which is the biggest thing."

"Why? What's the name?" she asked. In the past week they had become more confortable with each other, opened up more. She hadn't told him her entire backstory, but neither had he. Rey could tell it had something to do with his past and was worried she was prying too much.

"Millennium Falcon," there was a sad tone to his voice. "In honor of my dad," he started to explain, but it seemed difficult for him. "It was the name of his prized possession, some classic car that I never bothered to learn more about. Sometimes it felt like he loved that thing more than me honestly."

Rey found it endearing that he wanted to honor his dad. While she knew very little about his family, she knew that they didn't have a great relationship and his failure to reconnect with the man until it was too late was one of his biggest regrets in life. "That's really sweet," she smiled. She couldn't help but reach for him in an attempt to comfort him. They were already sitting so close; it was practically instinct for her to place a comforting hand on his kneed.

Ben tensed for a moment as he stared at her hand, making her think she made a huge mistake. However, he relaxed and smiled at her before she could pull it away. She told herself it was an innocent enough gesture. It wasn't as if it were on his thigh, yet it felt oddly intimate. "I'm going to talk to my mom about it later before I suggest it to Jason," he said, trying to act as if nothing was different, yet she noticed his eyes drifting back to her hand.

When the door to the room opened Rey quickly pulled her hand away. While they weren't doing anything wrong, it felt as if they were getting caught doing something they shouldn't. "Hey Jason," Rey smiled as he walked in the room.

"I thought you two would be done by this time," Jason said looking at Ben with a knowing look. "But I can come back later," he said, turning to leave.

"Actually, Ben's pretty distracted today so we were going to call it a day, pick it up again tomorrow. Right Ben?" Rey wanted to run for the hills with the look Jason was giving them. Then again, her reaction probably didn't help the situation.

"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow," Ben nodded before Rey grabbed her things and practically bolted out of the door.

"So, you and Rey?" Jason didn't need to finish the question, they both knew what he was insinuating.

"It's not like that," Ben bit his lip, not sure if his statement was true. "I just have a lot on my mind, she was being a good friend," he added lamely.

"I'm sure she was," Jason teased. "I'm sure she'd be an even better friend if I hadn't come in," he winked, though they both knew he didn't approve of the idea of Ben and Rey dating. "We'll talk more about this later. First, I need you to see this drummer on YouTube," Jason pulled out his phone, the video already ready to go.

Ben hit play and watched as the woman completely killed it on the drums. "She's good, but why are you showing me this? We've had information available for weeks and scouts from the label looking for people, if she were interested she probably would have contacted us by now."

"Not everyone is going to come to you, sometimes you have to go to them. Plus, she's local," Jason argued. "It's time to take some initiative rather than torturing ourselves listening to the terrible people the so called scouts send our way. Plus maybe she knows a good bassist and we could actually get started on this," Jason's eyes lit up in excitement.

"How the fuck do you know she's local?" Ben asked with a raise eyebrow. "You stalking her? Because that's more than a little creepy."

"Shut up, she posts on YouTube about where she's playing and she plays at some local bars. She said she's going to be at some dive bar, Jakku, tonight. I've never heard of it, but we should go," Jason was too excited for Ben to say no. He knew they needed a drummer so it was worth a shot, even if he had a feeling she wouldn't be interested. Part of him wondered if he was the problem, the reason why people didn't want to be part of their band. It wasn't as if he had the best reputation to anyone that knew him as Kylo Ren and no one had ever heard of Ben Solo as a performer.

"I know where it is," Ben said. "I've gone there with Rey," he explained, which only made Jason give him a concerned and disapproving look. "Don't give me that look, it's not like that," he didn't even believe himself at that point, but he wasn't exactly sure what it was. Their relationship was odd, it felt like more, but he wasn't sure if she felt it too or if he was crazy. "Guess we should talk to my mom, I want to run a band name by her and if she's okay with it you can be the deciding factor," Ben got up, quickly trying to avoid the topic of Rey.

"If we're going to try to get someone in the band then we should probably have a name, " Jason agreed as he followed Ben out of the room. They walked down the halls of the studio headquarters in silence but Ben could tell that Jason wanted to bring up Rey. Jason finally broke a few minutes later, "You know if you're going involved with Rey, which is a terrible idea, you're going to have to tell your mother."

"I'm not getting involved with Rey," Ben growled. "There is nothing going on and we both made that very clear the first day we started working together. Therefore, there is nothing to tell my mother about. Okay?" Ben paused in front of the door to Leia's office, making sure Jason wasn't going to say anything to her.

"Okay, if you say so," Jason clearly didn't believe a word Ben was saying.

They dropped the topic and walked into Leia's office. Jason and Ben were the only two people that could walk into Leia's office without knocking, mainly because Ben knew her schedule and if she had a meeting. She had made sure they talked every morning and discussed their plans for the day. While it was a nice gesture, Ben knew that it was more of a way for her to keep tabs on him and making sure he wasn't falling back to the "dark side," as she put it. Ben entertained her daily phone calls, making up for lost time and all of the times he ignored her calls.

"How can I help you boys?" Leia asked without looking up from the documents on her desk.

"Ben wants to run a band name by you," Jason informed her as he sat in one of chairs across from her, kicking his legs up on the table in front of him.

"Get your legs off my table," Leia demanded as she looked up at the men. The look alone was enough for Jason to quickly scramble to get his legs off the table. Ben chuckled, pulling her attention to him instead. She studied him for a moment before asking, "Why would you need to run a band name by me first?"

Ben took a moment before answering, as if he was rethinking the name. "I was thinking of Millennium Falcon," he replied, causing Leia to smile. "I just figured, he loved that car, " he mumbled, no longer looking at her.

"I love it," Leia told him. "So long as Jason is okay with that name," she looked to the man in question for his reaction.

"As in after your dad's car?" Jason asked, to which Ben only nodded. "That's a great idea," he smiled.

Ben hated getting sentimental and hated showing any kind of weakness, "Anyway, Jason wants us to go to Jakku Bar to watch some drummer. Thinks she could be what we're looking for." They all knew that there wouldn't be any heart to heart conversation about Han and naming the band after his beloved car. "I feel like my reputation might be a problem though, if she recognizes me. It's no secret that First Order has tried to make it so I can't work in the industry," he said.

"What do you suggest then?" Leia sat back in her chair. She knew Ben blamed himself for a lot of things, including them not finding anyone good for the band. He felt as if once people realized he was formerly Kylo Ren, they ran for the hills because of the rumors spread by First Order and his legendary drug induced temper.

"I don't know," Ben tried to think of something that would help, but nothing came to mind.

"What if we performed at Jakku? An acoustic set or even just a song. It would prove the First Order was lying about you lip-syncing if nothing else and show another side of you. Those songs are nothing like Star Killer," Jason suggested. "We'll be there tonight anyway."

"That doesn't give much time to practice, even if it is just one song," Leia was skeptical. If the performance went badly then it would be almost impossible to finish the band. "Are you sure that's a good idea?" she asked, focusing on Ben.

He stood in thought for a moment before answering, "I think it's a perfect solution. We'll get an idea of what people think and if this is even worth pursuing or if I've just fucked up too bad."

"We're going to kill it," Jason assured them with a smile. He was excited to actually be able to perform something finally. "We better get ready," he was absolutely giddy as he got up, heading for Ben's makeshift office.

"You could not have found someone more different from you," Leia chuckled. Ben just shrugged before following the other man out of her office. She shook her head and called out, "Good luck boys."

As they walked out of Leia's office Jason could tell there was something on Ben's mind. "Penny for your thoughts?" he asked, not wanting him to be distracted all night if they were going to be performing in front of people for the first time that night.

"Do you think my dad would be proud of who I've become?" Han was still on his mind after deciding to name his band in honor of his father. "That was what I promised him when he died. That I'd make him proud."

"Well, I didn't know the man, but I know your mom is," Jason told him. It was then he realized that it was almost the anniversary of Han's death. "Are you sure you're up for this tonight? I know it's a rough time of the year for you and your mom," Jason cautiously offered him a way out, hoping it might make Ben open up a little more.

"Yeah, sorry," Ben snapped out of his thoughts. "I guess it just hit me last night, it's been three years now. I actually wrote a song last night, just to let it all out," he admitted.

"You want to perform it tonight?" Jason asked, wondering if that was a hint. It wasn't always clear with Ben what he wanted to do just based on their conversation. While usually Ben was blunt and would tell you what he thought or wanted, there were times he was awkward and cryptic.

"No," Ben quickly answered. "I don't know that I'm even ready to share it with anyone," he added as they reached his makeshift "office" so they could practice for that night. "I think we need to just look over what we have and pick one or two. We're not even sure people will like it and it's just some small bar, we go in play a song and be done. No one is going to want a full set," Ben suggested.

"You're kidding right? Are you that delusional that you don't realize you're going to be giving people heart attacks just by performing at some dive bar?" Jason knew that Ben thought he'd fucked up, but he didn't realize just how self-depreciating he'd become. "Just because you used to be Kylo Ren doesn't mean you're not talented," Jason reminded him.

"Let's get started," was Ben's only response. "We don't have a lot of time to prepare for this, even if it is just in a dive bar."

Jason watched as Ben sent a quick text, a small smile appearing at the response he got moments later. "Rey?" Jason asked knowingly. While he didn't approve of what he thought was an obliviously blooming relationship, he didn't feel like continuing his lecture at that point.

"Maybe," Ben shrugged, trying to play cool. "I was just inviting her for tonight," he mumbled. Jason shook his head and Ben became defensive, "It doesn't hurt to have some support there, you're more than welcome to invite any of your friends."

"Of course, I'll keep that in mind," Jason smiled as he grabbed the acoustic guitar from the corner of the room. "Let's get started."

TBC…

Feedback/comments are always appreciated.