Chapter Four
When he had emerged from his room hours later, his parents had told him that they were very sorry, but they had to leave for awhile again. Like he had before, Akira accepted it without so much as a blink. He preferred it this way... he wouldn't have to hold back his emotions for fear they would worry about him or question him.

He didn't bother going to school. He had an itching feeling Shirogane would accompany Aya or Kengo, and he didn't want another run-in with Shirogane. He knew, he knew what Shirogane really wanted, and the Shin King didn't want it from him. The knowledge was painful, and it ripped right through him.

Even so, the Shin came by frequently and tried to talk to him, but Akira simply gave him the cold shoulder. There was only one case where Shirogane tried to forcibly get him to pay attention, and Akira had landed a powerful punch right to his face. Shirogane had come only a few more times before he had just disappeared altogether.

He couldn't hope that Shirogane was completely gone, though. Akira knew he was probably haunting Master or Kou, lying in wait for a time he thought Akira would listen. It wouldn't happen, Akira swore to himself. And as the weeks passed, he grew taller, and his hair grew longer, and every time he looked in the mirror, he thought to himself how lucky Ryuuko was. That thought was fleeting before he stuffed it back into his mind.

Akira was out on his way to get food one evening about two months later when someone gripped his shoulder and a cold voice said in his ear, "Come with me. Now."

He whirled, but Kou held him in a deathgrip and began pulling him along, down the street towards the area Akira knew Kou resided. He tried to struggle, but every time he did Kou gave him a hard shake that made his bones snap. Before long Kou crashed through the front door and basically threw Akira across the room onto a couch.

"Kou-nii, what the hell?!"

"Have fun," was the simple response before the door slammed and locked. Akira got up with a snarl, ready to burst out right after him. Kou had told him, warned him to not trust Shirogane. Akira thought he understood why now, but before he could even make it a decent distance to the door, another hand grabbed his shoulder.

"Please stay, Akira-kun."

Why were those words so powerful? Somehow Akira pulled away, darting for the door, but now two strong arms embraced him and pulled him back into a lean body. Long, silky hair trailed in front of his eyes as a warm whisper tickled his ear.

"Please don't run away from me. Please don't leave me alone."

"Let go!" His body wouldn't move now... he wouldn't be able to fight his way out. "Let me go home!"

"No. Stay here. Stay with me."

Something soft and warm pressed into his neck – Akira choked, trying to get his body to follow his mind's orders.

"I love you, Akira-kun. I love you."

"Stop it!"

But Shirogane wouldn't relent. "I love you," is what he whispered over and over, no matter how much Akira begged him to stop. He felt his body giving way to Shirogane's warmth, to the hand that gently moved from his shoulders down his torso to wrap around his waist. The fire that burned into him as Shirogane's fingertips stroked his hip was painful, and Akira couldn't take it much longer. His shaking knees were giving way, pressing him closer to Shirogane. How did Shirogane know touching his hips like that made him melt?

The bitterest idea rose up: it was probably because that was Ryuuko's weak spot. Shirogane knew his body so well because he had felt the body of the person Akira was simply a copy of. That was the only reason for wanting it so badly... everything Akira had thought was simply being confirmed.

"I love you, Akira-kun –"

"I don't love you!"

The word that finally broke free stopped him. The soft whispers instantly ceased, and Akira felt the tension that snatched the Shin King. He broke free now and ran out the door without looking back, ran all the way home. As he slammed the front door, he leaned back against it and slid to the floor. The silence dropped on him like a heavy, suffocating veil, and his sobs seemed far too loud.

Somehow, he made his way upstairs, stripping off his clothes as he straggled to the bathroom. Once there, he simply stood in the shower and let the icy water beat against him. It didn't do anything to take away the fire that Shirogane had trailed down his body... rather, it highlighted it, made it burn hotter and hotter. Akira couldn't tell if there were still tears running down his face anymore. His long hair, fully saturated, helped weigh his head back. His eyes gazed dully at the ceiling of the shower room.

Why? It seemed so unfair that this had to happen to him. All the seemingly-innocent questions he had ever asked, about who he was and whether or not he was really here, questions that he thought everyone had asked... they only made him feel worse. He wished he had never questioned. He wished he had never met Shirogane.

But something in him cried harder at that very thought. Biting his lip hard, he reached out and shut off the shower, then trailed a few feet away to where the bathtub was already filled. Without a second thought, he plunged into the water, somehow colder than that of the shower. He welcomed it, trying to focus on the burn of the cold rather than the burn Shirogane had given him.

It was quiet... suffocating as it had been before, but Akira welcomed it now as his chest heaved, trying to gasp in the air his lungs wanted. Eventually his body tempered to the water, and he quieted, lying in the tub silently.

He didn't want to think. He didn't want to think about anything anymore, and yet Shirogane's blue eyes, the feel of his silky hair, his gentle touch playing around Akira's hip, and the warm whisper filled his mind.

"He doesn't want me. He wants Ryuuko. He pursues me because I'm Ryuuko. As soon as I fade away, he will be happy. He will be much happier."

Chanting the mantra didn't help, especially since his voice trembled as he said it. He was out of tears now, though, so he only looked glazedly off to nowhere.

"Nikaidou Akira will never belong to Shirogane."

That wasn't his voice. Akira started, sat up straight in the tub to have his widened eyes land on a figure in the corner of the room. A mask-like face, in which glowing yellow-green eyes were set, peered at him from the shadows of the room. The long hair, red as fire, set off alarms in his head, and suddenly the water felt very cold again.

"H-Homu..." He couldn't get a grip on his breath now. His insides were completely failing him.

"Shirogane only wants Ryuuko," Homurabi said with a cruel smile. "He doesn't want Akira. Poor Akira. Poor, poor Akira has never been cared for by anyone. All anyone sees when they look at you is 'Ryuuko.'"

Homurabi's aura was murderous. Akira sat completely frozen in place, fingertips shaking on the edge of the tub. His entire being screamed at him to run, run, but he couldn't get himself to move.

"So do you want everything that happened to Ryuuko to happen to you?" He was stepping closer and closer.

"N-n-no..."

"Because, you know..." His eyes flashed wide open, baring his teeth in a horrifying grin. "I killed Ryuuko."