Chapter 4
'Decision'
Music with the chapter: Nelly Furtado-All Good Things Come to an End
She was swimming blissfully through the space, unknown and undefined. Backwards. She and Willow walk through the dark street and the she sees him. Her dark knight. Angel. She smiles and reaches to kiss him. The scene faded. Then she's in Willow's room crying. 'He's not worth it, Buff; you'll find someone else…' Then she reaches out for a book at the highest shelf and the books fall at some guy. 'I'm Riley' 'Buffy' 'what you want me to do, Xander, beg him to stay?' 'Do you love him?' And she was too late. All her life, she was loosing the people who loved her… Then, the next scene. She's walking through the hallway, and she sees him- her art teacher with blue eyes, looking at her. They talk. She asks him to come to her room. She's trying to worn the girl there, but she's not listening.
The panic caught her. Same time the teacher leans to kiss the girl down there. Her mind exploded with the panic and she waked up gasping for air. But it was only one thing she was sensing- the smell of his cologne filling her nose. 'Oh, god, oh, god, not again, not again…' she cried turning in the bed and sobbing.
The voice came through the shroud of the pain wrapped around her. 'It's ok, Buffy, its ok. Wake up, you're dreaming' She opened her eyes, looking her friends with fear. The smell was still there.
'Where am I?'
'In your bed'
'WHAT?'
That finally woke her and she stood up, trying to walk, but Xander pushed her back. 'You're not well enough to walk still' 'Willow how could you do this to me, I thought we switched the beds, I can't sleep here, I just' she's crying so hard that she can't speak anymore.
'I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you were unconscious and Xander brought you here and I didn't think…I was worried'
'I have to get out of this bed; I'm going on yours' she sobbed.
'Don't dare getting out of bed again. You can't walk still'
'Xander please'
'I'm going bring you…' And he did. She hasn't seemed to stop crying.
'Willow, I thought you're my friend' 'I am, Buffy, what's going on, what happened to you'
'I told you; nothing is going on, why you don't leave me alone finally. And don't understand why it has something to do with you damn it. I just want to be alone'
'I'm your friend. I thought I was, at least…,' said Willow quietly and left the room.
'This was rude, Buff, we're just concerned for you, I mean seriously I'm sorry I hit you, I didn't intend to…but this has nothing to do with the way you're acting those days.'
'And how exactly I act? I'm curious'
'Like…,' he started but Anya caught his attention
'Like one girl who I knew when I was a demon. She was…,'
'I'm not in mood for your stupid stories, Anya' said Buffy coldly. Anya left the room angrily.
'Thanks, Buffy.' said Xander quietly with ironic tone and left to find Anya.
'This wasn't very thoughtful of you, sis. What's going on?'
'It's too complicated, Dawn, you can't understand…'
'Oh, let me guess, because I'm child, right?'
'If you must know, yes.'
'I might be a child still, but at least I know how to act with my friends, so to have ones. You know whatever is the reason you act like this, it's not enough. They are your friends and want to help you. So do I, but nobody can until you let them. Think about this.' Dawn left too.
Buffy stared the wall. 'I'm not going to cry. This way is better for them. At least they'll be saved'

Next day, she turned to lunch, just as pale and disoriented as yesterday. She took some random food and sat at one empty table. Willow stared at her in confusion. 'Is she still angry on us or what?' She looked at Buffy again. Buffy wasn't actually eating, just digging in the plate with her fork. 'She's not ok, I'm going there' 'Wait, she's not ready to talk. ''But someone has to make her talk. She'll not going to do it on will''I need to tell something and don't stop me this time,' started Anya.
'Ok' sighed Xander. 'Let me start instead- this girl when you were a demon…'
'Yes, exactly and don't look at me like this. I knew that girl back then, who acted just like Buffy.'
'And it concerns us why?'
'Because I know what was wrong with that girl and there's pretty good chance to be something similar with Buffy's case.'
'And what was it?'
'Her friend had beaten her.'
'And what it has to do with…no, no way Buffy will give someone to beat her'
'But she is acting the same way. And she said she couldn't fight. And she cried when you hit her. And…'
'Ok, enough, I'm going there and I'll ask her straight. But I'm sure you're wrong, she's a Slayer, she won't let anyone hit her' said Willow.
'No, wait…' but she was already going.

'Buffy?'
'Don't ask me again what happened, Willow' said Buffy with tired voice. 'I can't handle it right now'
'Has anyone hit you? Beat you?'
'Every day, yes, vampires'
'Other than that'
'Monsters?'
'Oh, come on, you know what I mean' Buffy's eyes were wide as she looked Willow. "Oh my God, Willow knows, I have no idea who told her but she knows…" thought Buffy.
'Who told you that???'
'No one, but if it's true than why haven't you fought back or something'
'You have no idea what you're talking about. I don't know what you were thinking but no one had b…had h…you'rejustwrongIhavetogo' babbled Buffy running outside.

"What can I do what can I do she knows she knows and there's nothing I can do but oh my god he's going to be so angry'

Then, it come the Decision.

It was so simple.

'I can't live with this pain anymore'