#4 - Meyrin

Lunamaria and Meyrin's Grandmere was a fierce and wily lady. Clotilde Hawke was the founder and chair of the family business – Ordinteaur – a successful and lucrative artificial intelligence firm in September City. A handsome woman in her early seventies, she was known for her immaculate presentation, aggressive business acumen and whip-sharp wit.

And her granddaughters adored her. Luna and Meyrin jostled for Grandmere's attention at every opportunity. But in Clotilde's eyes, Luna, of course, always shone the brightest. It was not hard to understand why. After all, it was for all the same reasons Meyrin herself looked up to her sister.

Luna was athletic, outgoing, clever and pretty. The day Luna earned her stripes as a red-coat was a proud day for the whole family, but for Grandmere most of all. Her indigo eyes sparkled as she watched her granddaughter become an elite pilot of ZAFT, as strong and capable as any male soldier.

Meyrin graduated from the ZAFT academy the same day. Her most profound memory of the occasion – aside from Grandmère's pride at Luna's achievement – was the way her unflattering green‑coat uniform had ridden up around her full hips (as it was doomed to do everyday after).

That day wasn't all that long ago really – eighteen months? – but with all that had happened since it could have been another lifetime. Now, Meyrin wore an orange jacket with the insignia of a foreign land. She supposed she was an absconder, a traitor; to ZAFT, the PLANTS, her family.

And the reason for her treachery? A handsome boy. Grandmere would be furious with her.

For the millionth time, Meyrin pondered the actions she had taken to save Athrun. A boy she had never even had a conversation with, beyond perfunctory pleasantries.

She had to admit she became interested in him partly because Luna was. It seemed she would never let an opportunity slip to come second to Luna in another one-sided competition. Well, Luna – she thought sardonically – look who won this round!?

But, unlike Luna, he was modest and reserved, like her. Admiring him from afar, watching him in quiet moments when he must have thought no one was looking, she got the sense he was trying desperately to live up to unseen expectations, and somehow failing. Like her. She would often catch him gazing searchingly at a pink stone in his hand. Always searching, searching, searching.

Every day since they escaped from Carpentaria had a weird dream-like quality to it. She wandered the corridors of the Archangel in a haze, trying to absorb all the things she was learning, things that sent her already upside-down world into a new beyond. They were all kind to her, but Athrun was the only thing that anchored her back to reality.

And then there was the Chief Representative. Gone was the young woman out of her depth on the Minerva in her own ill‑fitting aubergine suit. Cagalli had led her forces to a hard-fought, brutal victory. She had defended Orb with her own bloodied and golden sword, reasserted her authority and dominion over her military and government, and she was now imperious. A Lion.

Meyrin had very little to do with Orb's leader since she had been retrieved from the sinking Gouf. She would have naturally assumed that her existence did not rate a dot on Cagalli's radar if Miriallia had not assured her in the medical ward of the Archangel that the Chief Representative would personally ensure her protection in Orb. A fact surprising and bizarre to Meyrin in equal measure.

And yet, just hours ago, the Chief Representative – in full military regalia and surrounded by an entourage of advisors – had sought her out and asked Meyrin to 'look after him'. And now, Meyrin stood on the lower outdoor deck of the Archangel watching the Chief Representative farewell Ms Lacus, Admiral Yamato and Athrun; chewing her nails, anxious and perturbed.

Look after him. Who the 'him' was wasn't in doubt, but what in the cosmos did she mean? She could tell the Chief Representative wasn't quite sure herself when she said the words. Quite unlike the authoritative Commander-in-Chief briefing her armed forces moments before. Her voice had been soft and steady as she promised that she would pray to Haumea for Meryin's safety. But her eyes, while still kind, were mournful and distant, as though she had lost something precious.

"By Haumea…" she was brought back into the present by the surprised, but respectful, murmurs of the Orb soldiers surrounding her. As Meyrin's eyes flicked back up to the parting company, a small gasp of surprise escaped her own lips, even though the scene unfolding before her made sudden and complete sense.

Athrun broke out of standing attention, and boldly reached for the Chief Representative, bringing her purposefully into his arms.

Cagalli's eyes widened with surprise, then gently dissolved into quiet joy. She had not lost the thing she feared after all.

Athrun's face, meanwhile, was completely serene, almost unrecognisable. He had found what he was searching for.

Meyrin found herself smiling despite hot tears pricking in her eyes. It was a moment so intimate and personal; giving the briefest of windows into the complex motivations, choices and drives of these two people who had put everything else before themselves again and again. And, of course, there was an element of grief knowing that a future she had fantasised for herself could never possibly be.

She realised then just how much she missed her sister. Thinking of Luna, Meyrin recalled an exchange she'd had with her Grandmere after the graduation ceremony.

"My darling. You look very smart today," Meryin had cringed at Grandmere's compliment, knowing it could not possibly be true.

Clotilde appraised her younger granddaughter's hunched shoulders carefully, then sighed. "Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt,"

Meyrin blinked, confounded by whatever Grandmere was trying to tell her.

"Don't wait for things to happen, my darling. Make your own way," she patted Meyrin's arm, then walked away.

Meyrin clenched her small hands into fists, and smiled with determination towards the sky, the stars, the PLANTs. She had made her own choices, and she had been brave. And with whatever small amount of power she was able to wield, she would protect her sister.