Summary: The journey of one Rachel Barbra Berry as she learns that there is more to life than just dreams of Broadway and life outside of Lima thanks to a few of her friends.
Pairings: Puck/Rachel/Santana friendship, Puckleberry romance, Brittany/Artie, Mike/Tina, hints of Finn/Quinn and Sam/Santana
Warnings: This is contains spoilers up to "A Very Glee Christmas". It pretty much goes AU after that for obvious reasons. This chapter also contains some Finn and Schuster bashing (although is it bashing when it's just telling the truth?) and some very questionable friendship techniques from Mercedes and Kurt.
Disclaimer: I don't own this show or anything related to this show. If I did there would be many more songs featuring Santana and Puck. And Tina would actually have a story line.
Author's Note: Sorry again for the delay with this chapter. But it's a lot longer than normal. I'm actually getting an idea for an arc in my head so the installments might start getting longer for awhile. So hopefully this chapter is enjoyed! Thanks again to my lovely reviewers. Reviews make me happy. Thanks again!
Leaping to Conclusions At the Speed of Light
Rachel was almost positive that she did something seriously wrong in a past life. That was the only explanation for how a girls only mall trip with Quinn, Santana and Tina had turned into the awkward and potentially humiliating dining experience from hell with Mercedes and Kurt. It all started Tuesday afternoon when Santana roped her into going out with them since she "totally fucking ditched us at lunch" in order to "make out with your hot ass secret boyfriend in his truck." Upon arriving at the mall, they had run into Mercedes and Kurt who had invited themselves to join in. Soon after their addition to the group, Tina had left saying that she was meeting Mike at his house for dinner. Sam called Quinn during this time and said that he was ready to talk about what happened on New Years. Rachel didn't miss the look that crossed Santana's face as Quinn skipped off.
This left her sitting with Santana, Kurt and Mercedes. The tension was so thick it was almost visible and Rachel wished on everything in her that Puck was there. No, it wouldn't make anything less awkward but at least he'd be there. Still she had Santana and for that she was grateful. That is until the cheerleader's phone rang and she ran off saying that it was Brittany. And then there were none.
It wasn't that she disliked either Kurt or Mercedes but she had been the brunt of their jokes and nasty comments for too long to suddenly believe that they were all just going to be friends. Later, she would wonder why it was easier for her to believe Puck and Santana than Mercedes and Kurt. For now, she was content to stare at her phone wishing for it to ring with an escape for her as well. However, it remained unpleasantly silent.
"So Rachel, any comment on the return of Puckleberry?" Mercedes asked, suddenly. Rachel looked up at her with wary eyes. "I heard one of the Cheerios say that she caught you two making out in his truck."
Rachel's face flushed red even as she mentally cursed Puck. She told him that his truck was not the most discrete place for their impromptu make out session. Although in his defense he was just as content to continue what had started as an innocent peck on the lips in the hallway in plain sight of everyone. It was Rachel who wanted a change in venue.
"I think the silence is the answer," Kurt practically gushed. "So you and Puckerman are back on? That's interesting."
"Why is that so interesting?" Rachel asked, smoothing back her hair.
"We just thought you'd still be chasing after Finn. Didn't think you'd give up so easily, especially for someone like Puck."
Her eyes narrowed. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Please, Rachel. I know you," Kurt scoffed. "You're candy, flowers and matching kitty calendars. You really think any of that is Noah Puckerman? You really think he's forever? You're more naïve than I thought."
"Puck is a player, Rachel. The boy has been through pretty much all of the Cheerios, the glee girls except Tina, and pretty much all of the desperate housewives of Lima. You really think he's going to settle down?"
"All Santana has to do is bat those pretty little eyes of hers and he's going to come running. Especially since she'll give up something you're not ready to give up."
Rachel clenched her jaw. "And that is?"
"Sex. Hello, I live with Finn, remember? He told me about you waiting to have sex. You really think Puck is going to stick around waiting for something he can get from Santana any time and if the stories are to be believed, any place?"
"Why are you doing this?"
"Because we're concerned, sweetie," Kurt assured her. "You tend to throw yourself at the first thing to show you a scrap of affection. Remember, Puck used to throw slushies at you. Santana is the sole reason why the majority of the school feels the need to call your gender into question on a daily basis. Can you really trust them after all that? I can't tell if that makes you a better person or just really, really delusional."
Rachel turned her head to the side and tried to block out what they were saying. But the words were slowly eroding the mental walls she had built to block out these exact same thoughts she had been thinking about since that first Sunday. It was true that they had both apologized in some capacity but really it was a bit much to believe that they were suddenly all friends. And they raised another point. She knew she wasn't nearly ready to consider sex but Puck was a self proclaimed 'sex shark'. How long would he wait until he could get it from someone else? How long would Santana wait for Puck to get bored before she reminded him of what they once had? Of what they probably still had…
"Oh no," Mercedes whispered loudly enough for Rachel to hear. She looked up to see that the pair was staring at something just below Rachel's shoulder. She turned around to see Puck and Santana standing on the lower level. Puck had an arm wrapped around Santana's shoulder. The cheerleader was resting her head against his chest. The pose spoke of the level of familiarity and intimacy between them. She had seen them in poses similar to this during the past few weeks but she had let it go because they were all friends. But with the walls down, she couldn't help but see all the things she had ignored.
"If you will excuse me for a moment," Rachel said, dully. There was a buzzing sound in her ears as she rose from her seat and walked on autopilot to the escalator that would lead her to where her soon to be ex-boyfriend (again) and ex-friend were standing. As she finally reached them she could hear them murmuring to one another.
"Well just remember, I had you first," Santana cooed, leaning up to kiss his cheek.
"You were my first," Puck confirmed with a chuckle. "And despite it all, I keep coming back to you. What's that say about me?"
"That you have good taste!" Santana laughed pushing his chest. He stumbled slightly and Santana looked up to see Rachel standing behind them. "Rach! You're done with the Gossip Girls already? We were just about to liberate you. How'd you get free? You didn't like threaten Kurt's Gucci again, did you?"
"Or talk smack about Lady Goo Goo."
"It's Gaga, moron," Santana retorted.
Rachel blinked. They were really going to act like she didn't just hear what she heard? Did they really think that she was that stupid? Of course, they did.
"This doesn't look like Brittany," Rachel finally said.
Puck narrowed his eyes, taking in the flat tone and distant behavior. "Babe, is everything okay?"
"No, Puck," she hissed in his direction. He actually flinched at the use of his nickname. He once told her that he liked it when she called him Noah. So she knew that calling him Puck hurt. Good. "Everything is not okay. Santana was your first and you'll always come back to her? I was so stupid to trust you."
"Rachel, what the hell are you talking about?" Santana asked, confusion written on her face.
"I'm talking about the fact that you said you were going to meet Brittany. This clearly is not Brittany! You lied to me and snuck off to meet with the guy that is supposed to be my boyfriend. And the fact that you're having a conversation about how you'll always come back to each other."
"Look, Berry. I don't know what kind of nonsense that Beyonce and Wheezy were filling your head with but I think you need to slow your roll," Santana retorted. She glanced up at Puck who was unusually silent and then back to Rachel. "There is an explanation for everything."
"Save it." This time it was Puck who spoke. "Rachel has clearly decided that she has all the answers here. So there's nothing left for us to say." He met Rachel's eyes for the first time and she was stunned by the hurt reflected in his eyes. "Seriously, Rachel. I thought you were fucking smarter than that. I thought we were stronger than this. I guess I was wrong."
Rachel watched as he walked away from her. A niggling thought in the back of her mind reminded her of the last time she watched him walk away from her with the feeling that she needed to call him back. But much like that time on the bleachers she let him walk away.
Santana shook her head. "Not that it even matters to you at this point but he was talking about how I was his first friend," she growled. "He's my fucking friend, Berry. But you know that already. I don't know where this sudden bitch act is coming from but it's not cute. I'm the bitch in this relationship. Get it straight."
With that, she turned on her heels and stalked away in the direction Puck had stormed off. Rachel felt like she was rooted to the spot. If she were to believe Santana, the conversation that she overheard made perfect sense. Even though they weren't always friends, Rachel had grown up around Puck and Santana. They had always had a volatile but close relationship. Despite their many failed hookups and public falling outs, Puck and Santana had maintained their friendship. Still, that didn't explain why Puck was at the mall with Santana when the other girl had claimed she was meeting up with Brittany. Brittany who was… currently strolling towards her with a shopping bag from the Build-a-Bear store in her hands.
"Rachel!" Brittany grinned, giving her a tight hug. "Santana said we were meeting you later because you were stuck with Kurt and Mercedes."
"I finished with them. What are you doing here?"
"Artie's dad had an emergency so he picked Artie up early. Puck was still at school and I asked him for a ride so I could meet you guys. But I forgot where were supposed to be meeting and I called Santana."
Rachel closed her eyes, feeling remorse and shame flooding her system. "Noah gave you a ride?"
"Yeah, they said they were going to wait for me while I went in the store. Puck said that he felt like his balls were falling off when he went in there." Her eyes widened as she remembered something. She rooted around the bag and finally pulled out a roll of tape. "I got this so he could make sure they don't fall off. I'm sure that you want them intact."
Rachel took the offered tape and laughed which of course soon turned into tears. She spent the next ten minutes tearfully explaining to Brittany everything that had occurred that afternoon. The normally slow blonde looked unusually insightful as she sat back on the bench they had ended up on and smiled.
"It'll be okay, Rachel. San and Puck are just hurt right now but they care about you lots. Especially Puck. He's always talking about how you're pretty and smart and really, really nice. I think he loves you," she whispered conspiratorially. "They'll forgive you."
"They shouldn't," Rachel sighed. "I can't believe I didn't even bother to listen to them. I'm such a jerk."
Brittany shrugged. "It happens."
She was about to continue when her phone beeped. "Oh, it's from San. She said to make sure that I got you and whatever magical unicorn I bought this time and meet her in the front. She's ready to leave."
Rachel shook her head. "You go ahead. I think I'm going to stay a little while longer. I need some time to clear my head."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure. Tell Santana thank you for the offer."
Brittany's brow furrowed before she wrapped the smaller girl in another hug. This embrace was much more comforting and reassuring than the other. It almost brought a fresh set of tears to her eyes.
"Trust me, Rach. Everything is going to be okay. Puckleberries are so much better when they're mixed with pezberries too. You'll see."
Rachel could only nod. Leave it to Brittany to simplify everything. Still, she let the blonde go and sat back on the bench. She wasn't ready to face Santana or Puck quite yet. She also wasn't quite ready to face her fathers who would no doubt be less than pleased that she jumped to such terrible conclusions about the first real friends she had in awhile. So she sat and waited until she could find the motivation to get up to take the bus home.
Two hours later, she was still seated on the bench when another thought occurred to her. Her purse, with all her money and bus pass, was in Santana's car. There was no way she was getting home without getting a ride from someone. And then almost as if summoned, said bag was thrown onto her lap by the person grumpily throwing herself down on the seat next to her.
Rachel could only blink in surprise at one of the people she had been trying to avoid but couldn't help but be happy was here with her. She tried to say something profound that spoke about how sorry she was. But all that came out was… "You changed your clothes."
Santana snorted. "Yeah, it happens sometimes when I go home." She crossed her arms over her chest and staring out at the crowd of shoppers. "I was home, Berry. I was sitting in my room and I was comfortable. And all I kept thinking about was your stubborn midget ass trying to walk home from the mall because your bag was in my car. At first I didn't give a shit but then I started thinking about how you dress like a pedophile's wet dream. No matter how pissed I am with you right now, I didn't want any old dudes perving on you."
Rachel clutched the bag to her chest. "Thank you," she whispered. "Santana, I'm so…"
"Let me guess… Sorry?" her friend finished for her with a slight smirk. "Yeah, I know." She shrugged, continuing to people watch. "Like I said, I figured it had something to do with those two. So no worries."
"You're forgiving me?"
"Sure. I'm more than likely going to fuck up bigger than this somewhere down the line. Consider this a 'get out of trouble free' card."
"Santana."
"Yes?"
"I'm going to hug you now."
"Really? Hugs are for special occasions, Berry! Like holidays and maybe birthdays, not mine, but possibly yours."
"My arms are up."
"Ugh, Christ! Okay! But this is totally good for two of those cards!"
"That's fine," Rachel agreed. And for all her whining and complaining, Rachel found that Santana was just as into the hug as she was.
Santana pulled away with an exaggerated look of disgust. "Well, now that the touchy feely crap is out the way. We have two further points to discuss before we go back to yours and see what the dads have cooked for us."
Rachel just smiled at Santana's natural inclusion into her household. "And those points are?"
"One, do not, under any circumstances, try to contact Puck tonight. I know you're thinking about it. Trust me and I know that might be a stretch for you, but just leave him alone until tomorrow. Puck is a tricky little emotional retard but he'll be much easier to talk with tomorrow."
Even though every part of her protested the idea, Rachel had to admit that Santana had a point. She knew Puck better than Rachel did, for now. And after this afternoon's social faux pas, it was in her best interest to just believe the cheerleader. So she nodded and indicated that Santana should get on with point number two.
"I'm going to need you to do me a solid in the morning."
Rachel raised an eyebrow. "I'm so not going to like this, am I?"
"Possibly. But you owe me."
The next morning found Rachel approaching Quinn Fabray's locker. Though the girl had apologized to her earlier that week, she was still hesitant about talking to her. But Santana was right. Rachel owed her. Big. So she was off to do her best friend's bidding and just be happy that she still had a best friend.
"Good morning, Quinn. How are you feeling?"
Quinn smiled at Rachel and shook her head. "How bad did you screw up yesterday to let San talk you into this?"
"Was it really that obvious? Wait… how did you know about that? Oh no, does everyone know?"
"You spazzed on Puck and San in the crowded mall after school in plain view of Mercedes and Kurt," Quinn replied patiently. "Everyone knows. And of course, it's on Jacob's Blog. Do not be surprised if he steps up his creepy game since he thinks you and Puck aren't together."
"Oh, great. I knew there was a reason I didn't want to get out of bed this morning."
Quinn bumped her with her shoulder and stood next to her against lockers. "As for the reason you came over here. I talked to Sam yesterday. And it was nice. But we both agreed that right now we're not good for each other. I don't know if I want Finn or not, but I do know that it's not fair to Sam to keep him hanging around. Besides, from the look in his eye, he's not exactly sitting around waiting for me to come back."
Rachel lifted her gaze from her shoes. "So you do know then?"
"I didn't miss the look yesterday either. She likes him. He likes her. I think it'll take them months to figure it out but when they do… they could be great."
Rachel was beginning to formulate a theory that sometime during the break, most of the glee club was abducted and replaced with replicas. That had to be it because there was just no other way to explain the sudden changes in attitude. Well there was the less likely idea that they were all just finally growing up but Rachel liked her body snatchers idea better. Stupid Sam and his Syfy movie kick.
"You and Puck will be great too," Quinn added, dragging her out of her thoughts. "He really likes you. He's different when he's with you. He's more like the real him. Most people see the badass because that's what he wants us to see. But you get to see the other side too. He's got a lot of hang-ups and insecurities that I don't think even he knows about but he's a great guy. You've got more of him than any of us ever had," Quinn held her gaze. "Don't break him. Okay?"
She wondered if Puck was even aware of how much Quinn and Santana cared about him. She knew that there would always be tension between Quinn and Puck due to Beth but Quinn was able to put that aside for what she thought was best for Puck.
Rachel smiled. "I won't."
Quinn nodded and looked down the hallway. Her eyes narrowed as she took in something. "Here's your chance to make it up. Don't screw this one up, Rachel. Please."
Rachel leaned forward to see that Puck was standing at his own locker, pulling his books for the day out and trying to ignore his unwelcome companion. A Cheerio was leaning further into his personal space than was necessary. Rachel growled under her breath and stormed over to the pair. Puck's eyes widened as he caught sight of her and immediately his face shut down. She knew he was probably expecting a repeat of yesterday but she was prepared for that as well. She slid in between her boyfriend and the cheerleader.
"Uh, excuse me, we were talking."
"Yeah, I could see that. But you're done now. I need to talk to my boyfriend now."
The cheerleader looked confused. "But the blog said you guys weren't together."
"Jacob has been known to be horribly wrong on several occasions," Rachel replied, primly. "This would be one of them. Noah and I are definitely together." She paused, taking a deep breath, and turned to face him. "Aren't we?"
For several moments, they were locked in that position. His face was blank and for once she couldn't read his eyes. Just as she was about to give up hope, his gaze softened and the corners of his mouth lifted.
"Yeah," he whispered, leaning his forehead against hers. A hand lifted to cup her cheek. "We're together, babe."
A wide smile curved her face at the term of endearment. She was dimly aware of the forgotten Cheerio flouncing off but could only focus on the boy in front of her. "Noah, I'm so sorry about yesterday."
"I know. A little birdie told me."
Rachel rolled her eyes. Of course. Santana only told Rachel not to communicate with Puck. She didn't say anything about her talking with Puck.
"Dude, what the hell is this?"
"And the moment no one was waiting for," Puck muttered, pulling away from Rachel slightly to face his former best friend. Rachel glanced up at Finn and sighed in annoyance. Every time she was trying to enjoy some time with the people that really cared about her, he showed up.
"What exactly is the problem, Finn?"
"So you're dating Puck now?" Finn retorted. "He's the reason we broke up!"
"No, you're the reason we broke up. You lied to me about Santana. I told you the truth about Puck and you dumped me. And then you get Quinn to cheat on Sam. Hypocrisy thy name is Finn."
"Huh?"
"Too many big words," Puck chided Rachel. "Look, let me dumb it down for you. Me and Rachel are together. You and Rachel are not. I got the girl. You don't. The end."
"Why do you always have to go after the girls I like?"
Puck shrugged. "Despite being slow as all hell, you have really good taste in chicks."
Rachel couldn't help but giggle at the flippant comment. This turned out to be the wrong reaction as Finn lunged forward and pushed Puck hard up against the lockers. She threw Puck a warning look. Even if it was self defense, he couldn't afford to get caught fighting on school grounds. It wouldn't look good at his probation hearing. Although she was rethinking this as Finn landed a lucky punch to Puck's face.
"What's going on here?"
She had never been more grateful to hear Mr. Schue's voice than in that moment. Within seconds, he was pulling Finn off of Puck. Rachel was by his side a moment later. She put a hand on his bruised cheek which was starting to swell. Other than that he appeared unharmed, which was fortunate for Finn. Because Sam and Santana were not on probation and both were practically glowing with anger as they watched from down the hall. Rachel gave them a nod that had both backing down. She saw them joining Quinn, who was also watching the scene with a distant look in her eye.
"You okay?"
"I'm a badass, babe," Puck grinned. "It's going to take a lot more than that pansy ass shove to hurt me."
Rachel huffed. "He could have made you hit your head. You're more susceptible to head injuries in the weeks following a concussion. Any further blows to your head could lead to irreversible brain damage and horrible complications, including paralysis and death!"
Puck raised an eyebrow. "Rachel, you're crazy and that's awesome but 'm fine."
She continued her mental assessment of him. No slurred words, no distorted pupils and an ever present lazy smirk pulling at his lips. Yeah, he was fine. There was no need to arrange for Finn to find his way to the not so abandoned crack house. She glanced in that direction in time see Mr. Schue sent Finn on his way before turning to the couple still leaning against the lockers.
"Puck, what happened?"
"Finn attacked me. That's what happened," Puck retorted. "Dude has serious aggression issues that he needs to work on."
"What did you say to him to provoke that response?"
Rachel didn't try to stop the eye roll his question prompted. What a surprise! Mr. Schue continues to think that Finn can do no wrong.
"Noah didn't do anything to Finn. We were talking and he came up to us."
Their teacher's gaze flickered between the couple and a look of understanding and then pity flashed through them. Rachel definitely wasn't stupid enough to think that he was feeling bad for them. So with a great sigh, she followed him as he pulled them into an empty classroom.
"You two are together, now?"
"Mr. Schue, you really need to start keeping up with the school gossip," Puck drawled. "Yeah, Rach and I are together. So what?"
"That's good. I was just concerned about how the rest of the glee club was going to respond to this." The two students stared blankly in his direction. "We all got used to Rachel and Finn being together. The new relationship between you two might cause some unneeded tension."
"Funny, the only people that seemed to have a problem with it are Mercedes, Kurt and Finn. Kurt doesn't count because he's not here. Mercedes doesn't count because… well I'm tired of caring what she thinks when it's beyond obvious she could care less what I think or feel. And Finn doesn't count because he dumped me. Not the other way around."
Puck squeezed her hand lightly and barely hid a smirk. Will caught the slight communication and frowned.
"I thought that you were trying to win back Finn," Mr. Schue tried. "I really don't think that the club can survive anymore tension and drama."
"Good thing that our relationship has nothing to do with Finn or anyone else in glee but the two of us. You know you have this really convenient habit of dropping in and out of our lives. Mr. Schue. You're always preaching to us about being a family and caring about each other but you really only seem to walk the walk with a certain few of us. Now all of a sudden you care about the well being of the club?"
"Rachel…"
"I don't really want to hear it, Mr. Schue. I have a father. Two actually and they approve of my relationship with Noah. That's all that matters."
Rachel took a deep breath. It wasn't until she started speaking that she realized all the things she wanted to say to their teacher. She had tried for so long to be whatever it was that he wanted her to be to accept her. The closest she had ever come was while she was dating Finn and she realized that had more to do with keeping his favorite happy than Mr. Schue accepting her. He was so painfully oblivious to everything that happened in that club.
"Mr. Schue, suffice to say that you're a hypocrite too. You're always saying that this is a place to shine and to be ourselves. But you never want me to be myself, quite the opposite really, and you don't let anyone else shine unless you think it'll impress Ms. Pillsbury."
"Ouch," Puck mumbled.
"You ignore the obvious talents of everyone in this club and I'm guilty of that as well. But it's a new year and I'm turning over a new leaf. I suggest you do the same."
With that said she picked up her bag and tugged Puck out the room with her. They didn't get far as Puck whirled her around to face him. Her arms reflexively wound around his neck as he pulled her flush against his body. She heard a number of students comment as they passed the couple but neither Puck nor Rachel cared.
"That was hot."
"It was, wasn't it?" she smirked. She pressed a kiss to the side of his neck, delighting in the soft moan he made. He arched an eyebrow.
"You know," he smiled. "I'm starting to think that I'm a bad influence on you," he kissed the tip of her nose.
"On the contrary," she replied, looking him in the eye seriously. "I think you're a very good influence on me. I think I definitely have a lot more to learn from you, Mr. Puckerman."
"Ahem, if you two are done fornicating all over the hallways," Sam said, with a wide grin. "I think it's time for class."
Puck rolled his eyes and placed one last lingering kiss against Rachel's lips. He pulled away from her and walked beside Sam, elbowing the blond in the stomach. "Dude, who the hell taught you the word fornicating?"
"It's on that word of the day calendar Mike got me for Christmas. I'm really concerned about this calendar. Yesterday the word was necrophilia. I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to think about that one," Sam shook his head. "Although it was better than the pack of tennis balls someone who shall remain 'hawked got me."
"Now you can see how many balls you can fit in that mouth of yours!" Puck choked out around a laugh. Sam huffed before punching his friend on the arm.
Santana looped an arm through Rachel's as the two girls followed the boys to their class. Rachel cast a glance at Santana who was laughing at Puck and Sam. The cheerleader caught her gaze and rolled her eyes exaggeratedly, mimicking the pair. Rachel giggled and squeezed Santana's arm. Despite a few bumps in the road, she was fairly certain that she had this friends and boyfriend thing figured out. It was bound to be smooth sailing now.
Of course, as the pessimist that lived inside of her loved to remind her, that's usually when everything goes straight to hell in a hand basket. And, for the first time in awhile the pessimist was actually right.
*Does that count as a cliff hanger? Hmm... Let me know what you think!