CHAPTER 4: MYSTERIOUS MYSTERIES

Despite her desire to remain firmly apart from anything involving the Invader, when it came to the Reapers Shepard's sense of purpose overwhelmed anything else. Zim's outlandish behavior caused her potential sympathy for his situation to dwindle, but she still ordered her team to follow him as he sped on his metallic appendages towards the consoles in the shell of the control room. It was possible he might uncover more clues about the Reapers or, at least, provide an idea as to where they were and what they were doing now. A sour feeling settled in her stomach at the thought of what they might do with the Irken technology or genetic material.

When he reached the main console,Zim reached behind himself, patting his back for something and then gave a frustrated growl. Jerking about on his synthetics, he wrenched the black garment from his shoulders and tossed it aside. The slick black fabric created a clean smear as it skirted across the dusty floor. The flurry only had Shepard's attentions for a moment before Kasumi silently tapped her elbow, causing her to return her gaze to the Irken. Without the jacket enveloping his small figure she could see where his secondary set of legs protruded from an oval shaped pod adorning his back. The pod was decorated with smaller ovals of a different color that matched Zim's uniform and one of them opened up when his pointed fingertips reached back to touch it. From inside, he extracted a long wire which he planted firmly into the computer before him.

"Are we certain that he's an organic lifeform?" Kasumi spoke quietly. It was more out of habit than need since Zim's focus was laid firmly on his task at hand. It was the first time he had put his attention on anything for longer than ten minutes without getting distracted.

"Partially," Legion replied after performing a quick scan. "The mechanism located on his back is synthetic, although it appears to be firmly connected via a small inner network to central nervous system." The concept was certainly something new to the Commander, though she supposed it was simply a more extreme version of cybernetics.

The monitors above Zim only flickered with static once or twice so it was hard to tell if he was getting anything from the machine at all. The unusually quiet ramblings from his mouth did not give much hint either. It was only when he finally tore away from the computer that they knew, the cord retracting like a tendril back into the pod and spider-legs scraping against the floor so hard they left tears in the metal surface. The deranged grin on his face only added to the idea that he was utterly mad.

He sped off past them with Gir in tow as if he had either decided to ignore their presence or had forgotten it completely. Shepard spared no moment and followed him with Legion close behind. Kasumi lagged behind only momentarily before her feet silently carried her out behind them. Having grown used to the thief's soundless maneuvering, Shepard did not notice her pause and merely trusted that she was there.

Zim had not gone far. They found him out at the docking platform, once again screaming in frustration. He pounded on the panels of the small ships as he lept from one to another.

"The vehicles are not functioning," Legion offered an explanation to his confused teammates. "They have deteriorated with age." It didn't seem to be a concept that Zim was willing to accept. He smashed his fists against the controls, yelled what could only be considered obscenities in a language no one was familiar with, and even went so far as to blow one of the ships completely off the platform with lasers from the tips of his metallic legs. There was a very faint exploding noise a couple of minutes later, smoke billowing from below them.

"Shepard...," Kasumi prompted. It would be easy to just leave Zim here where he could take out his frustration on every bit of what was left of his civilization and not be a threat to anyone. He would have no way off the planet once they left him. With everything so old and in disarray, he would more than likely wind himself into a fury and either destroy himself, go insane (well, moreso), or die. There were so many moral dilemmas in the universe; Shepard just wondered why she found herself at the forefront of 85% of them.

"Invader Zim!" she finally called out to him. He turned to look at her with a rather dangerous glint to his large eyes. It was small slivers of moments like this that it seemed that he might actually be something to worry about.

"Enough! There is nothing left for you here! You need to focus your rage on the Reapers and that is exactly what we are doing."

The Irken whirled and skittered towards her and was face to face with her in the half-blink of a human eye.

"You will get no chance to destroy these Reapers, human!" he seethed. "Once I have The Massive, I will make sure there is not even a disgusting little SPECK of them LEFT!"

"You aren't getting off this planet on your own. None of your ships work!" Shepard pointed out. "You can come back with us to the Normandy and I will try to help you find...'The Massive', or you can stay here and rot! I'm only going to make this offer once, Irken, so you had better take a moment to think about it nice and clear."

Shepard had been in a lot of stare-downs and she found that she tended to lose track of time while in one. She was not sure if this was her longest or shortest, but for a timeless moment she and Zim played to see who would blink first. There was no doubt that the Irken had a very deep distaste for any race but his own and an even deeper pride that disallowed him from taking help from anyone. Shepard narrowed her eyes a little bit in the challenging gaze.

"Do you know where it is?"

"Of COURSE I know where it is, insolent worm-baby!" The sound of his childish name-calling allowed Shepard to slowly release the breath that had hitched in her throat. With the silence broken, he finally turned his eyes from her and retracted the legs back into the pod on his back. He was a lot less intimidating at his normal height.

"But that is NONE of your business!"

"So are you going to come with us, or not?" she prodded, ushering her teammates towards the shuttle.

Zim crossed his arms with a defiant tilt of his head.

"Fine," Shepard said, sliding into her seat on the vehicle and getting ready to close the doors.

"FIELD TRIP!" squelched a high voice from beside her. She glanced over to see Gir firmly planted in the seat beside her. He waved a disproportionate arm awkwardly out at Zim. "Bye, bye! Gooodbyyyye!" Zim clenched his fists at his sides and marched towards the shuttle.

"Gir! Get out of there, now!" he demanded, jabbing a finger at the platform in a deliberate 'here!' motion. It almost seemed as though Gir pouted then – if robots could pout. Zim's eyes narrowed. "NOW!"

"AHHHH!" Gir screamed, throwing a tantrum in the seat. His mechanical tendrils and wires firmly latched to the seat. Enraged and embarrassed, Zim grappled at him and tried to pull him out by force while Shepard made a careful attempt at unhinging him with her foot.

"Do what your master says, Gir!" she insisted. "Damnit!" Gir wrapped one of his wires about her leg to use her as leverage. She just could NOT stay untangled from this robot!

"Is an intervention in order?" Legion asked as he and Kasumi sat in the back, watching the odd tug of war before them.

"It might be best to let them work this out themselves," Kasumi replied with a small, bemused hum in her throat.

"Let go of me, death trap!" Shepard growled, starting to pistol whip Gir in the head now. The little robot would not be convinced by either party, however, and promptly reached out with a clawed hand to grasp Zim by his antennae and flung him through the door into Shepard's lap. His other hand wound disjointedly to smack the control panel and close the doors and send the shuttle on autopilot back to the Normandy.

"NO!" Zim declared loudly until Shepard shoved him out of her lap and onto the floor. Gir merely pulled back his wires and sat with his hands politely in his lap, letting out a delighted cackle.

"Okay. What part of 'leaving the crazy alien and robot on the planet' did you decide NOT to disclose to me, Commander?" Joker asked, obviously quite irritated with the turn of events.

"I know, I know! But things are different. His race was taken by the Reapers, Joker!" Shepard tried to rationalize.

"We don't know that! They could have wiped themselves out by being so annoying, all their heads exploded! It could happen!"

"Just bear with me, okay? There might be something here we can take advantage of," she replied, feeling a headache coming on.

"Just keep him out of my cockpit."

"Shepard," EDI chimed in, much to Shepard's relief.

"Yes, EDI?"

"Kasumi has requested your presence in her chambers." Strange, Shepard thought, though she wasn't about to pass up an excuse to get away from Joker and his bad mood. She decided it was best not to bid him farewell since he had a habit of getting into those 'last word' wars when he was feeling obstinate. Of course, they only went on so long because she was just as bad at losing them; best not to start that ball rolling.

Making her way to port, Shepard entered Kasumi's dwelling. As to be expected it was one of the more peaceful and quiet places to be, possibly only second to Samara's. Kasumi had a full bar, however, and that automatically trumped just peaceful and quiet to Shepard any day. The master thief was lounging on the couch where she was normally found between missions.

"Ah, Shepard. Thank you for coming," she said with a mischievous smile beneath her hood.

"No problem, Kasumi. I admit I'm a little surprised. You usually don't call me down here," she admitted, brushing a lock of her crimson red hair behind an ear.

"That's true, I suppose," Kasumi said. "But I have a very good reason for it, I promise."

"What's that?" Kasumi lifted her head to indicate something laid across the back of the couch, remaining with her hands wrapped out one knee as she sat.

"That," she said simply, as if the word indicated everything. Shepard approached the couch and picked up the small pile of fabric. It emitted a fine dust cloud and she coughed, waving it away. Unfolding it, she realized it was the black jacket that Zim had discarded in the control room back on IRK.

"Why did you pick this thing up?"

"It seemed important," Kasumi said with a small shrug, though the smile never left her face. "I have a sense for these kind of things. It helps as a thief, you know." She paused. "Look at the tag inside the collar."

Befuddled, Shepard did as instructed and folded the coat over her arm to look at the inside.

"Made in China...in 2025?" Shepard said, dazed. "This is a joke, right?"

"Not at all. As far as I can tell it's perfectly authentic. And...well...," she trailed off and simply raised her hands in a gesture of 'master thief here'.

"160 years? What the hell is Zim doing with an almost 200 year old coat from China?"

"That's exactly what I thought you might want to ask," Kasumi said with a grin. "I don't like to be too curious myself, but I thought you might be interested."

Shepard slipped out the door with the coat slung over her arm, heading for the elevator. She was certain she would find Zim still moping in the hanger with the shuttle. He had been livid about being dragged from IRK against his will and refused to leave the room in a protest to be taken back. No one paid him any mind and simply left him there. Naturally, precautions had been taken and Shepard had ensured that EDI locked all the consoles and turned surveillance on him.

Her prediction had been right and the Irken was sitting against the parked shuttle with his arms crossed looking particularly sour. Gir was not with him. The robot had opted to abandon his master to have more fun with Gardner in the kitchen, and to 'watch the teevee', as he had put it. Zim heard her approach and hopped to his feet to glare up at her.

"It's about TIME!" he declared. Before he could continue the verbal assault Shepard held up the jacket.

"Zim, what is this?" Zim's eyes widened and he reached for the jacket, but Shepard held it away.

"GIVE ME THAT!" he yelled.

"What is it, Zim?" she repeated.

"It's a piece of body armor! STUPID HUMAN!" He leered up at her, antennae folding back with irritation.

"Uh-huh. Zim, why are you wearing 'body armor' that was made in China - a country on EARTH? And who is...'Dib'? Isn't this their property?" She indicated the tag sewn into the collar of the jacket. The Irken's eyes twitched, knowing he had been caught in a blatant lie.

"Fine! It is a stupid piece of Earthanoid clothing thing that I used to wash my Voot Cruiser! GIVE IT!"

"Why were you wearing it?" Shepard continued to pry.

"I wasn't wearing it! I was merely using it to keep my PAK dry in the event of the rains!" he insisted, obviously not enjoying her line of questioning.

"Oh, okay. Well, there's no 'rains' here. I can get rid of it for you."

"NO! I mean! Whatever! I don't CARE about it!" For a second Zim looked panicked and backed away as if Shepard was holding him at gunpoint. His fingertips fiddled about in exasperation, unsure what to do. Finally, he growled and reared up on his metal legs to finally rip it from her grasp. It had taken Shepard by surprise and she stumbled a bit when he lunged, leaning on the shuttle to regain her balance. She looked to Zim, who gripped the jacket fiercely to himself and glared at her. Without a second thought, he whipped it around his shoulders and pulled it on. "NEVER... NEVER touch Zim's things!" he warned lowly, his antennae rising and twitching with rage.

Shepard was undaunted. She had been threatened like this before and it only ever meant that she had hit a very sore spot. Kasumi had discovered something about Zim that he did not seem so keen to share.

"Zim...," she said, calmly. "I will be more than happy to leave you and your 'things' alone. But..."

"No. Nothing else," Zim huffed, stalking away with his metal legs clicking on the floor. "Zim tells no one ANYTHING. Enough of your foolish prodding, human. If you aren't taking me back to my planet, then leave me be."

Shepard stood and watched him retreat to a dark corner of the hanger. She granted his request and left silently, making her way to her own quarters.

Even Zim, she thought as she waited in the elevator. Even Zim had something deeper going on inside him. He was becoming wrapped tighter and tighter in a mystery that even he didn't know the extent of. Shepard didn't know where he was coming from, but she could only imagine what he might be going through now. The humans had suffered at the will of the Collectors and the Reapers, but they still managed to survive. As far as anyone knew, Zim's race was gone. He was the only one left. Tactless, rude, and loud he may have been, but he was definitely not emotionless. All that fuss over a coat said at that much.

If he hated everything as much as he said he did, then why did he have a human garment? It should have been worn and falling apart for all the years it had weathered unless he had conserved it inside the pod with him when he went to sleep. Did the name in the coat have something to do with it? Maybe it wasn't the coat so much as who it belonged to? Shepard felt her mind spill over with questions.

"Who is Dib, Zim?"

Her question was left unanswered in the emptiness of the elevator.