Hello evvery one,
So guess who stayed home on a Friday night. That's right this girl right here. Not only did I stay home but I am home alone. The boyfriend had to work and I told my friends to go out with out me, I know I know what is wrong with me, but I think staying home and having quiet time is important don't you. I know Jo thinks that. Oh know I think I have said too much.
Anyways thanks for the reviews and the views.
Thank you Sonya, don't think I haven't noticed you have been with me since part 1. I am so happy and grateful. I Laughed when I saw your review. I think you might be right. These couple do need therapy but I doubt they know that plus where is the fun in that. Love you boo
Thank you Lilith, I'm glad I could make you freak out (in a god way of course.) You have no idea how happy I was to see how detailed your review was. It means so much to me. You took you time to tell me your thoughts, don't think I didn't notice that. Thank you for wishing me luck. It is fun but also a pain. I just spent the last two days painting my new three bedroom house. I think you are right about Jo and Gabriel relationship. It is going to be tough and to be honest I feel backed into a corner, but I can't wait to see how I get myself out of it. Love you too boo.
To alice thank you for reviewing, I know you want the whole Cornell thing to come out and I promise you it will and it will be good but I can't do it right now. I think our fab four has other things to deal with, but since you are a loyal viewer I will give you this. Warning spoiler. It will come out when all four of our couples are all going at each other. but thank you for reviewing I love you too.
To arkam zombie thank you so much. Thank you for the pm's thank you for reviewing on every chapter. Thank you for not giving up. You wanted a dean pov. Well ask and you shall received.
Okay I'm done thanking thank everybody and won't hold you up any more.
Don't forget to review.
Peace and love Alex
Chapter 4 Dean
Okay so when I moved in with Gabriel and Jo I had this pretty cool idea of what it would be. Not going to bore you with details but I did think it would be fun. I thought the three of us would like together in harmony without a care in the world. I mean why not. We aren't your average twenty year olds. Well Gabriel is twenty-one now so we now never have a problem getting beer or liquor. Not to mention that he has a trust fund so I don't have to pay rent. What twenty year old college student you know living on their own doesn't have to pay bills. I swore I would have a care in world. Not to mention that Cas would live with us on and off. I thought it couldn't get any better.
Now all I am thinking that can get better. Seriously things are so bad, that I want to go back home. Now don't get me wrong. There wasn't a problem at my family house, I just wanted to be able to have company over without having to sneak them in. I know you probably thinking, how bad can it be living with your best friends and cousin. Well let me tell you. First Captain Novak died. Poor guy, his body was so bad they couldn't have an open casket.
Now with The Captain dying, things kind of just went downhill from there. Gabriel cried like every day. Jo threw up and slept every day. I'm pretty sure she's pregnant but she just doesn't want to say yet. If I had known she was pregnant I wouldn't have moved in. Crying babies are really good when you want to have sex. But I am stuck here and I am kind of excited and I am willing to help out every way I can. Okay now on top of everything that is going on individually with them. They are having problems as a couple. Talk about awkward mornings. These can't even say good morning to each other. They try everything in their power not to directly talk to each other. I swear it's annoying.
Besides Jo and Gabriel there is also Balthazar. Oh this guy. I don't like him and I am pretty sure the feeling is mutual. I really can't stand him. He has this whole obnoxious attitude about him, not to mention some fake ass accent. Whenever I am in the same room as him my skin crawls. He always has some smart ass comment to say or a reason I should leave. I really can't stand the guy but because of his brothers I manage to muster up the restraint to be respectful though Captain's Novak funeral. Of course the sun of a bitch decided he wanted to move in here for a while. SO now I have to live under the same roof as him. The only good thing about that is he is living in Gabriel's finished basement. So since he doesn't live upstairs, I don't run into him too much, but I still run into him too much.
The only silver lining about any of this is Cas. Yes he is the only reason I haven't packed my shit. Out of everybody he hasn't changed. Of course he is a little different but that is to be expected. His father died and although he wants to act like he doesn't care I know he still does. Hell is my father died tomorrow I would be upset. I guess he is trying to be strong. With Gabriel acting like a hysterical school girl and Balthazar drinking his pain away, I guess he figures someone has to keep it together.
Yeah having Cas around makes it easier living there but then again it is so hard. I think I am starting to see why exes can't be friends. It's so hard. Whenever I see him my heart just stops. I'm telling you any and every cliché you can think of describes how I feel. While I am happy to have in my life and down the hall, I hate being his friend. I still love and want to be with him . I just wish he felt the same way. Hell at this point I would settle for a fraction of what he felt. All I need is a glimmer of hope. That is all I need. Just give me that and I promise I will spend the rest of my life doing any and everything to make him happy.
"Doritos" My beautiful blue eyed angel asks breaking my train of thought.
"Yeah sure" I say as I come back to reality. Glad he broke me out of it. I was about to go into this whole fantasy of what if. You know what if we never broke up, what if I was never with Bella.
"Okay then." He says as he throws in the cart I am pushing. I don't bother to speak. I am too mesmerized by how blue his eyes are.
"Cas buddy I don't see what's the point of this."
"The point is for everybody to get out. We all have our share of problems and I think we have been cooped up in the house. I think maybe if we all get out there will be less tension."
"I don't see how a concert in the park will help any of us. Balthazar is an ass and JO and Gabriel are just too much for me right now. I never thought I say this but I prefer them to argue."
"Ha", he says as he laughs. Like I just told some joke.
"I don't see what's so funny."
"I know Dean, but you will someday."
"Please explain." I ask as he looks at bread. You know normally I hate coming to the supermarket but with him I don't mind. It's another what if in my mind. I like to imagine that this is what it would be like if we lived together.
"How" I ask as we head down another aisle.
"I like to think I know those two better as a couple so I know how uncomfortable their silence can be."
"So getting them out the house will help them talk to each other." I say as I smile at him. He doesn't see and I thank god. I didn't want him to see the way I looked at him. I know I looked at him like I loved him and couldn't wait to get home. It wasn't a look a friend exchanges with a friend. Man I wish I could kiss him.
"It will give us a break." He says as he tosses spinach dip into the cart.
"No not that." I say as I put it back.
"Why not?" Cas as he turns his head to the side. God he looks so sexy. Now I don't want to tell him the reason.
"I don't like spinach dip." I say lying to him.
"You don't like it or you don't want it."
"I don't want it." I say as I feel myself starting to sweat.
"Have you ever had it? It's quite good."
"Not the point Cas. I just don't want it."
"Oh really." He says as making eye contact with me. OH god I hate it when he does this. I know he is reading my soul when he does this. Do I sound dramatic? A little, but hey you would feel the same way.
"Tell me Dean. I want to know. Why don't you want the dip?" Damn him. I swear he knows if he looks at me like that for too long I bare my soul. Now if only he would ask me if I still love him and need his body.
"It gives me gas. Like really bad gas. One taste and I will be letting it ripe all night." I think I have said too much but I couldn't stop myself.
"Oh" he says as he turns back towards the dip like he is contemplating his next thought. "You know come to think about it you never farted in front of me. Not since the ninth grade." He say as he looks back at me.
"Well" Damn it now i don't know what to say. What do I say?
"Dean… Dean is that you?" Oh thank you whoever is up there? I have no idea who is in back of me but I am forever in their debt for interrupting.
Now that voice does sound familiar. I know it but I can't picture a face. I guess I have no choice but to turn around and see who it is.
"Gordon" I say surprised after I tuned around. Wow I didn't think he knew my name? I sat a few seats down from him in my Justice class. I kind of always noticed him but I thought it was pointless to say something.
"Hey stranger, Long time no see?" He says with such an adorable smile. Oh god what am I saying. Cas is right behind me.
"Yeah it's been a while. How's it going? Haven't seen you since the semester ended." He says as he leans against a shelf.
"Yeah I know, but I was hoping I see you around sometime. I mean it is a small town." Is he flirting with me.
"Kind of went out of town. I didn't think anybody would notice." I say trying to remain cool. This might all be going on in my head. There is no way the universe is that cruel, there is no way some guy I have the hot's for would hit on me in front of the guy I am carrying around unrequited love for. Life isn't that unfair.
"How could someone not notice you missing? I mean you are kind of hard to miss." Damn it. What the fuck? Is this a test? Am I being punished?
"I like to think that?" What the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I even engaging this guy? Cas is right behind me. Then again we are just friends. Maybe me flirting will spark a little jealousy in him.
"Well tell you what?" he says with a small chuckle. "Why don't you give me your number? So that way I won't have to worry about you missing?"
Okay now I have taken this too far. It's one thing to flirt but to give someone else my number. Now I'm confused. Would this be considered disrespectful?
"Well I…I.. I..um-"
"Oh, I'm sorry. I wasn't sure but now I see."
"See what?" I ask confused.
"I wasn't sure if you and him were together or just friends, but I get it. I'm sorry I didn't mean any disrespect."
"What!" I said that a little too fat and too loud. "Cas and I are just friends. He likes girls too. I'm not with him." Okay now I'm running my mouth. I need to shut up.
"Just friend." Gordon asks a little confused.
"Right Cas. What the-" I don't believe my eyes. As I turn to get confirmation from Cas who I thought was watching the whole thing, I find him stealing. I can't believe it. AS I watch him he is stuffing bottles of liquor in his oversized pants. I was wondering why he hand those things on.
"Right." Gordon says as I turn to look at him. "Give me your phone."
"Here." I say handing him my phone. I am too shocked to protest. I am too busy trying to figure out why Cas feels like he needs to steal something. He has never stolen anything a day in his life. He never needed to. He always had the money. I know we aren't old enough to by booze, but the same homeless guy we always gets to buy it for us lives in the same alley. Plus Gabriel and Balthazar are both old enough to buy it. It just doesn't make sense the house has become a fully stocked bar.
"Here you go?" Gordon says as he hands me back my phone. " I put my number in there and I want you to call or text me sometime. Either one I don't mind."
"You did what?" I say not really knowing what is going on.
"I gave you my number but I should warn you if I don't hear from you in a week I will be the one calling you. I called my phone from yours." Damn this guy and his take charge attitude. Does he thinks that I secretly love a take charge guy.
"Message received." I say as I push the thought of us rolling around naked out of my head.
"Good, I look forward to your call." He says before he disappears down the aisle.
I stand there watching him walk away. Not because I like looking at his body but because I am afraid to turn around. If I turn around and Cas is still shoving things down his pants, then I have to ask him about it and I kind of don't want to. I'm a little afraid of the answer. Maybe if I say something before I turn around he will stop.
"Cute." Damn him for beating me to the punch. Wait was he listening the whole time.
"Nobody is ugly Cas." I say as I turn around to find him looking at something else. I wonder if he plans to take that too.
"I beg to differ. I have woken up to a few questionable looking people in the past."
"Really." Is he trying to make me jealous? Is he mad that I flirted with someone in front of him. "You never told me that?" I say as I try to remain cool. Look I know we are friends but I still hate the thought of him being with somebody else. I don't want him to be with anybody but me. All he has to is give me a hint I would drop any and everybody if it mean s we can be together. I hate this whole being friend's thing. Every day when I wake up my heart breaks but I have nobody to blame but myself. He was mine for four years and I though him away like yesterday's paper.
"You never asked Dean?" He says he throws something the cart. I am too much in my head to pay attention to what it is.
"Guess I didn't I say." As I start to wonder if I should mention what's in his pants. I can't help but wonder if maybe I am overthinking it.
"So are you going to call him?" Is this part of the test? I honestly have no idea how to answer that. Would I be wrong for calling Gordon? It's not like I am getting any from Cas.
"I don't know" I say as guilt starts to wash over me. Damn him, I am starting to miss the days where we didn't talk. At least it was easier to justify my actions.
"You should call him." Is he serious? He really thinks I should call him. I was expecting that or did I want him to say that.
"I should." I say trying to train cool while I am freaking out on the inside.
"Yeah why not? Might be good for you." Why not? Why not? Oh I don't know maybe because I am crazy about you and I want you to tell me to ease his number.
"You might be right." I say thinking that I should start a game of chicken. You know just to test him. Just to see if I should even try to move on. I don't think am in a healthy place when it comes to Cas.
"I am Dean. As your friend I think you should get out there and date guys. I know you been with a lot but you should try to seek more."
"I wouldn't say many." I know he isn't talking. By my and Gabriel's count he should be somewhere up in the fifties. I know it might be gross when you think about it but hey he always used a condom. I know for a fact I am the only person he never strapped up with.
"I am not judging you Dean, I'm just saying. We are young. Why shouldn't we date as many people as possible?" Oh I don't maybe because we are soul mates, but I guess we are just putting that on the back burner for now.
"You're right. Tell you what? Why don't we have a double date?" It's time to play chicken. I know he doesn't mean the shit he is saying. Cas just wants to put on a brave face.
"I would love too but I am not dating anybody right now. I been a little too busy to meet people." He says as we walk up to the checkout line.
"Like you need to put in an effort. All you have to do is bat those baby blues of yours and you got a date."
"You really think so."
"Yes." I say as I look for any sign of him ready to break. I know in my gut he doesn't want to double date with me. Who would want to double date with their ex and their ex's girlfriend or boyfriend.
"Okay, you have a point, but who would I ask out." Excuses excuses. Looks like I am about to break him.
"The checkout girl. She's cute." I say as I feel like I am winning.
"She is cute. I wonder if she has a boyfriend?" he says as we start to put our things on the belt.
"Who cares, I know better than anybody that even if you are in a relationship when you come along you can't pass up an opportunity." Oh god I need to stop. I think I am giving him an actually pep talk. I actually sound like I want him to ask her out.
"You know what. You're right, I'm going to ask her out."
Oh crap.
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