When she let go of his hand once they reached the bedroom, he didn't move. He stood and watched her turn to him, her heart beating fast enough to make her breaths shallow.

"Don't just stand there," she said quietly, and cautiously, he moved forward. He looked down at her and then up, and she took his hand and placed it on her waist.

"Show me that you care," she asked, her throat dry. She was asking him for help, because she was scared. Not of him, but of what they were about to do and what it meant.

He ran his other hand across her cheek to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. Tilting his hair, he said, very carefully; "You must know that I…I am not thinking of this in the terms of our marriage."

She looked up at him, frowning a little. "Then what?"

His eyes bored into hers so intensely she wanted to blink, for it was like looking into the sun.

"I am thinking about this as something between you and me," he murmured, and she found herself glancing at him and then away, a curious feeling curling in her gut.

"Tell me what to do," he said softly.

She rested her head on his chest for a moment, remembering the feeling of safety she felt that one night.

"Kiss me."

He cupped the nape of her neck and leaned down to kiss her very tenderly, so sweet she could have sworn he loved her. She closed her eyes, letting her thoughts slip away. Perhaps, this is what it felt like. Even if it wasn't love, exactly, maybe this is what it felt like.

They parted and he led her to the bed, but then sat down on the edge himself.

"Let me take your hair down," he asked, and she threw him a curious glance at the odd request. But then she sat down next to him and turned away and focused on the feeling of his fingers undoing the careful knots of her hair. He started with the lowest, letting it fall down between her shoulder blades. Then the next. After the top bun, he ran his hands through the length of it, gently.

She felt his fingertips brush away the top of her shirt, exposing a part of her shoulder. He kissed her there, his lips burning her skin. Ren pressed another kiss closer to her neck and she shivered. She turned towards him and an unexpected smile crossed Ren's lips.

"I've never seen you with your hair down," he told her. "You're beautiful."

She smiled and ducked her head down, and she felt his lips brush her temple.

She wound her arms around his neck and pulled him to her, kissing him deeply without a thought. Ren's hand crept to her waist and slid beneath her shirt. His skin on hers felt good, somehow, like scratching an itch she didn't know she had. All she knew was that she wanted more.

He pushed his hand up higher, his thumb brushing against the soft valley of her spine. She broke the kiss and he lifted her shirt away, tossing it somewhere neither of them looked. Checking his expression, she slid her hands down his broad chest, feeling the clothed wall. He was just so big. She wasn't a tiny girl, but he made her feel that way when her palm was spread across his chest, looking small in comparison. His height was incredible, and she supposed she was lucky—if she had been short, the gap between the two would be inconvenient. But as it was, she came up to his shoulder, where she liked to lay her head. She glanced up at him, and he bent down to kiss her hungrily.

Her hands went to the smooth plane of his stomach and pushed his shirt up. He jumped a little at the contact, moving away to look down at what she was doing. After they met eyes, he pulled the black undershirt up off of him and she was met with miles of creamy skin, pitted with bumps of scars and burns. She touched them almost with disbelief, just because there were so many, and because her skin looked so…similar. Even in the dim light she knew he could make out the large burn on her right side from an ill-functioning engine, the jagged scar on her stomach from an unfortunate fall near the glass ground of the Crackle, and the white patches of skin from a metal burn before she learned to wear wraps. He was not half as curious as she was, scanning his body, but when he pressed his lips to the imperfect rise of her arm her heart swelled.

He took her hands to still them, something painful in his eyes. "Don't look at them."

She frowned and pushed her hands back to where she wanted them. "They're you. Why can't I look at you?"

He traced one of her own marks, the one across her stomach. "I am no perfect specimen. I know how I look."

She reached up to brush her fingers along his jawline, moving his waves of black hair away from his eyes. "You look fine. Do you…do you think I look bad? With my scars?"

He shook his head, eyes finally connecting with hers. "No. They…fit you."

She wondered for a moment at that, but then smiled a little. "I look at you, and it makes me…it makes me want this," she tried to explain. "When you first took your mask off, I thought…I was so surprised. You were young, and very—very handsome." She swallowed nervously, but looked up when he chuckled.

He touched his forehead to hers. "I surprised you, then? Not exactly the monster you expected?"

Her breath seemed to be gone. He was just so close, his eyes so dark and liquid and intense. A little shake of her head was all she could manage.

"Come here," he whispered, pulling her into his lap.

She was surprised to be able to feel him, already hard and hot against the lowest part of her stomach. It made her muscles contract for a strong moment, sending a hot yearning to her lower region. Her center pulsed and she found herself gripping his large arms tightly for some kind of leverage. His gaze was hungry and longing, staring at her without regard, which is exactly how she imagined she was looking at him.

Their lips clashed together and she clung to him, pushing closer and closer. He let out a sigh as his hand cupped her bottom and squeezed. She bit her lip in an effort to stay quiet, but she wanted more, more. She tossed away her breast band and his lips were there, kissing, sucking, touching. She was a mess in his arms after a few minutes of this torture, a figure of want for the unknown.

"Ren," she murmured, and was a little outraged at the desire that was so laced through her tone. But it incited something in Ren, who hastily laid her down onto the bed and went to pull off her shoes. He was done in a flash and his fingers were curved around her waistband, begging.

"Rey," he asked. "Please."

She nodded and somehow he saw it in the dark. Her pants were gone in mere seconds and he was on top of her. His warm body against hers was what she wanted, but the fabric between them was not. She tugged at his pants and he swore a low oath, as if he had forgotten.

He pressed a quick kiss to her lips and then drew back, and she watched him hurriedly fumble with the buttons and his boots, but he was still remarkably quick about it. His return was nice; a long, sweet kiss that conveyed the longing the two felt, even in each other's arms as they were. She could feel the heat of him pressing against her center as they huddled a little closer. Rey looked at Ren, really looked at his face and when she saw how serious he looked she brushed her lips across his brow. He kissed the hollow of her cheek and then down, latching onto her neck where she was sensitive.

She fisted a hand into his dark, unruly hair and wrapped her legs around his waist. He ground down with his hips and she let out a breathy groan. It felt so good to be close and to have him press against where she ached—she wanted more. When he did it again she moved as well, wanting more friction, more heat.

She must have let out a whimper because he pulled back from where he had been leaving a mark of claim on her neck.

"Are you alright?"

She nodded, reaching for him to pull him close so she could try and communicate the feelings she had coursing through her with a kiss. She gasped out when he shifted and lightly touched her outside of her underwear; just brushing against her mound.

"Yes," she encouraged, and when he touched her again she realized that she was wet, so wet for him. She had been told that this would be how it would go—she had asked another girl and read up on the subject when she had to begin to consider Snoke's proposal. She knew that it would happen, but she still found herself surprised. She had never felt this way, not even when she had touched herself alone in her bed. This was heightened and heady.

"Gods," Ren mumbled, feeling her. He glanced at her for approval before moving his hand under the scrap of fabric to truly touch her the way she had longed for. His fingers were a little awkward as he tried to find the right motion, but he was a keen observer and had her squirming within no time. She clutched him, wondering what the hell the great difference was between her fingers and his, because she had never made herself feel exactly this way.

"Good?" Ren asked, his eyes shining in the darkness as he watched the ecstasy flit across her features again and again.

"Yes," she gasped, and she found her own hand pressing his down to stroke her more firmly. He kissed her to swallow her sounds of pleasure and she felt his fingers creep down. One slipped inside her and she moved against it, surprised at the intrusion until he curled it inside of her. It felt so good, so different that she didn't even notice when another joined the first. His other fingers resumed stroking her and it only took a few moments before she came with a cry, her nails digging into Ren's flesh.

He kissed her face all over and held her close as she came down from her high. She buried her face into his shoulder, panting. She could still feel Ren's member, hot and hard against her, but she felt positively weak at the moment.

She hadn't the faintest idea what to say. Thank you? Embarrassment overtook all other emotions so she stayed where she was.

"Did I hurt you?"

She froze, not realizing she wasn't the only one with worried thoughts.

"No," she replied, and even kissed his shoulder as encouragement. "No, it was…really nice."

He peeled her away from him so he could look at her. He stroked her pink cheek and she realized he was smiling, just a little bit. He looked incredibly boyish, his eyes crinkled up and his soft lips quirked up. So much younger than the severe man who usually walked the halls. She felt a surge of yearning unlike how she was feeling earlier—it was not physical. She wanted to keep that smile, that relaxed and tender man who held her close. She leaned up and kissed his face—his jaw, the hollow under his eyes, his serious brow and nose. She looked at him with his scattered, dark birthmarks and soft eyes and large nose and she loved him. She loved the way he looked at her, touched her. He loved that his hands only held her in this moment and did not try to draw her back into their activity. She loved the sound he made when he stretched, and the frown he wore when he was thinking. She loved his awkward gestures and even his damn stubbornness. His forehead touched hers and they stayed like that, close and quiet and she could feel his energy through the force, so calm and strong—unlike ever before. Did he feel how she felt? Did he even have an idea how close her chest was to bursting?

She didn't know what to say, she didn't know how to express what she felt or thought. She was scared, plain and simple. What would he say? What if she was just being silly—a girl who had never even been kissed before, thinking she loved him? Maybe she was tricking herself—she wanted to be made love to, wanted love so badly. Was this all so she could pretend that maybe he felt that way about her?

It was too much for her. She pushed it away, swept her mind clean with only one thought of how to move forward. She felt like she loved him; she wanted to make love with him. It was silly and cheesy and ridiculous, but she wanted it and she want him to realize how she felt because of it.

So she hooked her thumb through her underwear and pushed them down her thighs. Ren moved, eyes wide as she removed them completely. She lay bare beneath him and waited. When he only stared at the length of her body, she placed a hand on his hip and pushed gently, hoping he'd realize what she wanted.

With a little jump, he gripped his underwear and pushed them off, discarding them immediately. She didn't look at first, but then snuck a small peek. He was huge, much bigger than the softened members she had accidently glimpsed in the public refreshers on Jakku. No, he was thick and it jutted proudly away from his hipbones. It looked painful to her, and she hesitantly reached out to touch it experimentally. He hissed at her palm curling around it and startled, she let go.

"No, it's ok," he murmured, taking her hand and placing it back onto him, His eyes closed. "It feels good."

She moved, gently, and he took a sharp breath, she watched his tense expression apprehensively and muttered, "Am I doing it right?"

A small chuckle escaped his lips and he covered her hand with his and moved hers in form strokes. "You're doing fine. Anything feels good."

She continued until he stopped her, giving her a short kiss on her lips. "Lay back."

She did and only tensed when she felt him nudge at the thatch of curls at her center.

"Ren—"

"It's ok. Not yet, I know."

She flung her arms around his neck and held him close, her nerves making her stomach flutter. She had heard it would hurt, and even though she wasn't afraid of pain, she didn't want to ruin this.

Ren shifted so his hand could touch her again, gently now that she was so sensitive. Soon enough she was moving with his hand, lost again in the nimble motions of his fingers. He grasped his cock and rubbed it against her, making them both gasp. Their noses touched and she looked straight into his eyes as he positioned himself but waited.

"Are you sure?" He asked, and she wondered why he would ask that instead of Are you ready?

"I'm sure," she replied, the swell of tenderness in her chest overwhelming again. He pressed, and then slowly slid in. He reached a point in which he could no longer be so gentle, and warned her.

"Relax," he whispered, and she tried, tried only focusing on the tickle of his hair against her cheek and his breath on her lips. But he pushed forward in one thrust and he felt so big, too big.

She didn't let herself cry out, instead gritting her teeth, but one treacherous tear escaped—an automatic response to the pain. When she opened her eyes, she saw a sorrowful Ren just before he leant down to kiss the tear away.

"Kiss me," she murmured before their lips met, a welcome distraction as he began to move ever so carefully, the pain ebbing away. He slowly thrust his hips back and forth until she felt better and clutched his body to hers. He slid into her slick heat again and again, rubbing deep inside her where even his long fingers didn't reach.

Her legs tightened around his waist and he thrust into her a little faster, holding her flush up against the length of his body. She pressed her lips to his shoulder, tasting the salt of his skin. She heard him murmur her name again and again.

"Rey, Rey, Rey…"

His thrusts grew faster and she whimpered from the sensation, so full and strange. His lips found hers again and they kissed and kissed until she couldn't breathe anymore.

"Ren," she whispered, closing her eyes and his hips slowed with a quiet groan. He pulled back some and tried to pull her legs higher, but she let out a sound of protest and reached for him.

"Don't. I want to be able to…hold onto you." She wanted him close, wanted to be able to kiss him and have his arms hold her. His gaze softened and his arms pulled her up against him. Still connected but sitting up now, the angle was different and he sunk a little deeper into her.

"Better?" He asked and she glanced up at him, biting her lip.

"I don't know what to do," she said, gripping his arm.

His hands slid to her hips and he pushed them gently. She moved up and down, a sigh escaping her lips as she adjusted. He gave her a funny little grin and ran his lips down her throat. She looped her arms around his neck and began moving without his help. Ren's head tipped back, eyes closing in pleasure as they moved together. A low groan echoed in Ren's throat and Rey felt it against her cheek, which rested in the crook of his neck. Ren rubbed just the right place again and again, pushing her higher and higher until she was just on the edge, waiting for that last push.

"Come," Ren growled in her ear as her nails dug into him.

"Ren," she said, breathless. His arms tightened around her.

"I'm here," he promised, and with a cry she let go, her body overcome with sharp shoots of pleasure. He moaned her name and she felt him throb inside of her, like a heartbeat. Through the cloud of intensity, she realized how tightly he held her and how good it felt.

She was weak in his arms, leaning against him completely as she caught her breath while the fog in her mind cleared. Both were damp from sweat, and Rey could already feel a chill as it cooled. But Ren was warm, and she found her mind blank except for the simple feeling of relief.

Ren began to move and carefully laid her back where they began. He hovered over her for only a moment before separating them. She flinched at the sudden emptiness and wrapped her arms around herself. She began to search for the sheet but he returned with a cloth for her, averting his eyes when she cleaned herself up. He sat, awkward, on the edge of the bed looking away. It was shy and so boyish the way his dark hair fell around his hidden face.

Rey reached out and touched his arm when she was done, and he turned to her with trepidation in his eyes until he saw her other arm lift out to him. Gratefully he slid into the bed next to her, his warm breath chuffing against her forehead as her arms went around him.

His hand stroked her bare back and she relaxed. This felt so different—to be so close and together without desire charging through the pair. She found that she liked it just as much—it was like the night he held her close.

They didn't speak for a long time. For once, they just let themselves be. Rey couldn't think of anything to say. Finally, he asked if she was alright.

"Yes," she said, briefly recalling the smear of blood on the cloth that he had given her. It didn't hurt now.

He hesitated. "You aren't lying?"

She smiled into his skin. "No, I'm not lying."

He pressed a kiss to her forehead and tucked the blankets up closer. Rey closed her eyes and drifted.

When she woke up, she was startled to find that she was laying on a warm, alive shoulder. The shoulder of her husband. Who hadn't, like every other day, left her.

She sat up from him, her hand rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She placed a spread palm on his chest and looked at him in the pale morning light. He was here.

She hadn't realized she had wanted him to stay.

Turning back towards the end of the bed, she stretched and remembered she was naked. Somehow, she was embarrassed. She moved to get up and find a shirt or her underwear, but a large hand slipped around her waist and tugged her back down.

"Where are you going?"

She laid back down cautiously, drawing the blanket up to cover herself. "To get a shirt."

Dark eyes bored into hers and she waited.

"I'll get it," he said finally, sitting up. "I'm the one who threw it, anyways."

Cheeks flushing, she looked away and then back again as Ren revealed himself completely. In the sunlight, he was almost as white as their sheets, but so...hard. His body, even the ridges and valleys of his scars, looked sculpted. The dark hair that gathered near his groin was the only part that interrupted this, but her eyes didn't linger there. When he handed her her shirt, she looked away.

As she put on her shirt, he pulled on his underwear but then came back to bed. He laid next to her, head propped up by his hand.

"How do you feel?" He asked. She drew her knees up to her chest and shrugged.

"Fine."

He swallowed, his adam's apple bobbing. "Rey…Why did you decide on last night?"

She didn't meet his eyes. "It felt right."

Even without looking, she could feel the intensity of his gaze.

"Is that all?"

"No," she scowled. "I…I wanted to."

He sat up and she glanced at him as he gently turned her cheek towards him so they could see eye-to-eye.

"Was it because of Snoke?" He asked.

For a moment, she just looked at him. She felt his energy through the force and realized he was guarded, very guarded. There was fear behind his walls.

"No," she whispered.

Ren's shoulder's lowered and a deep sigh fell out of him. "Rey," he began. "I know you could never love me. You called me a monster once, and you were…you weren't wrong. But I—"

The two doors to their bedroom swung open to reveal a wall of troopers and one ginger-haired, smug-faced general who stepped neatly into the room.

"Looks like the Jedi-whore is hard at work," Hux said with a trace of a sneer. "Oh how the mighty have fallen."