KITSUNE NO DOKU
Chapter Four
When I regained consciousness I tried to lie very still. Play possum. And stall for time. From my previous experience I can tell you that nothing good comes from situations like this. Nothing but blindfolds, restrains and cackling goons. So when am I going to hear this evil laugh? One, two, three…
No laugh? Strange. And like I said before I don't like strange.
So the next question. A blindfold. Slowly I opened an eye. And immediately saw a very familiar ceiling. Looks like I still was in our dear April's house.
About restrains… What, no restrains? These goons were so unprofessional! When I meet old guy Shredder next time, I'd tell him everything about the incompetence of his underlings.
I rose slowly (my shoulder was still very sore) and gathered my bearing. What I saw made me very sad. April's house was in complete disarray. Broken furniture everywhere, ruined carped, and her favorite big screen TV… Let's not go there… And laying very still on the ruined carped was the figure of my rude brother Raph.
"Raph," I cried, "Wake up"
Hi was still tightly clutching a sai in his right hand. And that hand slowly stirred.
"Are you alive, bro?"
"I…am…Don't …yell…"
"What happened?"
"How should I know?" he slowly rose on his feet. And he immediately stumbled.
"Bro!"
"Ev'thing …just…peachy"
He sat on the sofa or what was left of the sofa, slowly stretched out his legs and closed his eyes.
"After we were ambushed," he started hesitantly to tell his story," Leo left us and you followed him. I and Donny, we kicked some asses, that was way too easy, I tell you…And then I just asked Donny, where're our bros, you see? He told me no worry, Leo prolly went to look after April's house like we all were s'posed to do. So we went to look after you. And what we found!"
"What you found?" I asked curiously.
"Some idiot Foots trying to tie you with barbed wire! I didn't like it one bit!"
"And what was I doing?"
"You were lost to the world, you idiot! And Leo too! So we fought with those thugs again, and that fight went slightly better than the last one and I enjoyed myself! We kicked some asses and those stupid Foots run away. Like always," he told me looking way too content like a cat that just ate a canary or a turtle that finished a biiiig pizza.
"And?"
"And then Donny started to nag me. We should tidy! We should repair! And I told him to shut up and just help you and Leo and get home and that tidy and repair thing is not a part of our job description!"
"And…"
"And he didn't agree with me so I told him that this half of pizza on the table is all mine if he is such a mother hen."
"Wait…what pizza?"
"No more pizza. We finished it, sorry, bro."
"Pizza was…"
"Tasty, I know. And it was a gift for Leo, I've seen the card and I know how to read, thank you very much, but we just decided that Leo is a good bro, he wouldn't mind to share. So I and Donny, each took a slice and…Bam! Ev'thing went black!" he finished lamely.
"So…pizza was poisoned," I guessed wisely.
Complete and utter silence from my bro. And then…
"Naaa…Not poisoned. Just drugged," he shrugged, "I feel ok…"
I looked dubiously at him.
"At least I feel not poisoned. Anyway, Donny would know if it's truth…Donny!"
No answer from either Donny or Leo.
"I don't like it…"
"Do you think I like it?" he snapped at me. And so we went in search of our missing brothers. We found Donny in April's bedroom. This part of the house looked slightly better. At least the furniture was still intact.
And on the April's bed curled up like a little kitten was our super genius brother Donny. He was still unconscious. So we tried to wake him up. With no results.
"Doesn't look good," told me Raph. I myself felt an approaching panic attack.
"Raph, go find Leo! Leo will know what to do! I…I'll just stay here and..and…"
"Yes, sir!" he answered me gravely, turned around and left the room.
What an asshole! Sometimes Raph doesn't know where to stop. True, the same can be said about me, but at least my sense of humor is much better!
After a few seconds I've heard a loud crash and Raph's swearing.
"What happened, bro?" I cried worriedly.
"One of those damn Foots is still there!"
"Just rough him up a little, throw him away and go look for Leo!"
"No Leo! He is not in April's house!"
"You looked everywhere?"
"This is not a Russian tycoon's mansion! I looked everywhere. NO LEO!"
I run to my brother's side. Raph was clearly distressed. On the floor near his foot was a pale and naked body of an unknown human. Unconscious human.
"Is he even alive?"
"Sure thing he is. Still breathing. And not talking. I'm gonna change it very fast!"
And Raph began to shake this human roughly.
"Wait a min! Don't you think something is not right?"
"Everything is not right! Leo should be here with us. Not this jerk, whoever he is!" Raph redoubled his efforts. "Tell me where did you take our brother?"
Suddenly this unknown human opened his eyes.
"Raaaa…"
"What did you said?"
"Raph?" He blinked several times. "Don't shake me, please…" Raph dropped him to the floor right away. "Yes, sir," he whispered and then his expressive face contorted. "You little son of a…"
Here was the best moment for me to interfere.
"Raph, I think this IS Leo."
"Whaaa?"
"Look, it's hard to explain, but I have this strange feeling… Look, Leo's katanas are here," I showed him our leader's weapons lying on the floor, "And his bandana". Bright blue piece of cloth was around this human's neck.
"I AM Leo," little naked human nodded wisely. "I truly am."
"It means nothing! He just took them from our bro!"
At a moment like this we really, really needed Master Splinter who is old and wise and experienced. He would put everything in order. We don't need little half-wit Mickey who cannot even prove his bro's identity!
"Donny!" I cried desperately. "If you are awake come here ASAP!"
Somebody above has heard my silent prayers. Donny, confused and slightly worse for wear limped into the room.
"You're here, bro! Help me! Tell Raph that this is Leo!"
Donny raised his head and looked at me strangely.
"Who is Raph? Who is Leo? And, really, who is Donny?"
Complete and utter silence from all of us.
"Houston, we have a problem", I muttered darkly.