Chapter 4

I limped into the prince's tent, trying not to step on my sprained ankle very much. Prince Endymion looked at me sternly. That was the fourth time in the past week that he'd spoken to me about trying harder. I kneeled on the grass, my leg tilted outward so I didn't sit on it. The prince looked me over to see if I'd gained any muscle or at least looked like I could work better. I played with a rip my pants while he looked. It turned into a hole. I shouldn't have done that. He sighed.

"Ren Tsukino," he said sternly. I tried to shrink. Many of the soldiers here were vying for him to know their names. I was vying to fade into the background. Prince Endymion looked me over again. He spotted my ankle. "That's very swollen. Have you gone to the infirmary?"

I told him no. If I had, the man there would have examined the other one to see how bad it was. My ankles were too tiny and delicate to be a man's. I couldn't let that happen. I had to take care of the girls. This was my duty, and I wouldn't fail in this at least.

Prince Endymion sighed. He brushed his hair out of his face—it was getting a little too long and I don't think he had parted it correctly that day. There was a strand that was longer than the rest brushing over the top of his nose. I was tempted to fix it, but I was supposed to be a man and that would have been strange—and reached for it. Knowing that I couldn't refuse the Prince of Earth and Elysium, I let him lift it up despite the pain from the movement. He wrapped his hand around, trying to touch his fingers together which he would have been able to do had it not been so swollen. I felt his callouses brush my skin. I warned myself not to shiver and prayed that he wouldn't notice. Before I could stop it, a tiny whimper shot out of my throat. I felt tears on my face. That hurt! Another squeak squeezed past my lips. The prince looked up as if he had been dazed.

"How do you walk on that?" he asked. Prince Endymion moved his hands to his side and straightened regally.

Looking at the ground, I said, "I move one foot then the other."

He frowned. I was surprised by my comment as well. I shrunk down even farther, leading to his sighing and holding his head in his hand. "I did not ask you here to listen to those kind of remarks. Can you tell me why you're here, Ren?"

"Because I've been failing to learn the skills necessary to be a team leader," I quoted snidely although I'm sure it didn't show in my tone.

"Correct. You need to show the skill you did before you were chosen as leader," said the prince.

I huffed softly and mumbled, "I am."

"What did you say?"

"I am!" I snapped, straightening from my slouch. I was fed up with being talked to like this. I was working as hard as I could and putting forth all my effort, and prince or not, he had no right.

"Why would Kunzite appoint you then?" Prince Endymion wondered exasperatedly. "I trust my generals."

"He has it out for my team!" I cried.

He didn't respond to my statement. "If this pattern continues, I will have to dismiss you from the camp and the army. We need warriors, not little boys. Do you understand me, Ren?"

"I don't mind," I said.

"If I dismiss you," continued the prince, "then I must dismiss your whole team. When a soldier is dismissed, he has shamed his family. If I dismiss you, you will shame your friends and their families." I started to retort by mentioning that his generals would be tied to those families. Prince Endymion countered before I could get a word out. "They will withdraw the proposals, and thus, those four young ladies will be shamed even farther. Do you want to do this, Ren?"

"No . . . ," I muttered, "but can't someone else be leader?"

"You may leave."

"Answer me!" I demanded.

The blue eyes focused on me coldly. "You're dismissed."

I huffed and stormed out.

When I returned to the tent, only Ami was inside. She was curled up in her blankets, trying to hide, and if I was correct, she had taken her bindings off. Her eyes were focused on a brown spot in the grass. She didn't seem to notice that I entered so I walked over to sit by her. My ankle was relieved from the weight and I wanted to sigh. Prince Endymion was right about one thing—my ankle was terribly swollen. It honestly was close to being beyond repair if I kept doing all the training, but I refused to give up. I would show them all. I could be the best soldier in the camp. I waited for Ami to speak up, but she didn't seem inclined to. I decided to wait. I didn't feel like speaking yet anyway, but I did want to be the first to hear what was happening with her.

"General Zoisite spoke to me today," she started. I nodded. "After he finished training the sword specialists, he came over to my section and found me. He said that he forgave me because not forgiving is a sin especially among family. He also wanted to know about 'Ami'.

"I told him that 'Ami' was quiet. He asked if 'she' was nice." Ami stopped speaking. She glanced to me. "I like him, Usagi."

I blinked and eyed her, unsure what to say. "Isn't that a good thing then?"

"It should be."

"Then why isn't it?"

Ami sighed and gripped her hands together.

When I wake up, I typically feel light trying to force itself through my eyelids. This was no exception. I pulled the thin white-when-washed-but-currently-brown-or-beige blanket closer to my body despite the heat and tried to block it out a little longer. I couldn't block out a distant voice, however. As I came to consciousness, I realized that the voice wasn't distant at all. It was in my tent.

Thinking it was Rei or Minako or Makoto or Ami, I mumbled for them to leave not even thinking to disguise my voice. I see no point in hiding who was actually there from you—it was Motoki—but that drew his attention. My voice was not even close to a man's. He kneeled down beside me and took a look at my face.

These descriptions of what he saw are only from what he told me, so it is most likely not entirely correct. He said that he first noticed my eyelashes and how long they were. Then he noticed my lips. Finally he noticed two things that I would prefer not to mention by name as the idea of him even paying attention to that makes me feel uncomfortable.

What I actually heard for myself was, "You're a girl. Ren is a girl!"

I snapped up. "Motoki!"

Motoki was trying to run out of the tent. I don't know if he was going to tell someone or if he just wanted to get away from me, but I untangled myself from the sheet, not even trying to bother to wrap up my chest, and grasped his leg.

"Motoki," I repeated, "Furuhata, stop! Listen to me."

He took a seat warily while I dragged him back to the tebnt. I don't think his mind was working very clearly or else he wouldn't have been so compliant.

"My name is Usagi," I explained. "My father would die if he was in my place. You cannot tell anyone."

Motoki shook his head. "How . . . ? Oh, Elysium, you're all girls!"

"You cannot tell," I said.

"How are old are you?" he asked.

I answered, "Seventeen."

He smiled with relief. "You look younger. I thought you were my sister's age. . . . But . . . how . . . why? Oh, Helios, guardian of the Golden Crystal, priest of Elysium, please don't tell me that those . . . Itsuki and they aren't whom I think they are?"

"I won't lie," I said.

"But . . . ," he protested.

I silenced him. "I will explain more later with permission from them to reveal more. For now, promise that you will not reveal us and tell me your reasons for coming."

Motoki seemed surprised by my formal tone, but ignored that and promised. "Prince Endymion sent me to tell you that he is letting you rest today because of your ankle . . . . Now I can see why you've been so bad at all of this. But your friends have exceled . . . . Elysium, I've been beat by girls. Multiple times."

"Don't sound so surprised," I said, trying to channel Rei. Clearly Motoki had already gotten a feel for "Keitaro's" wit for he smiled.

"I need to return to training," he said as he stood and walked away. Once he presumed he was far enough from me, he groaned, "Elysium!"

I mentioned earlier that I typically wake up after the sun has risen. On this particular day, there was absolutely no light at all. I moved my arm and felt some really soft against it. Groggily, I moved my hand to feel it. As I rubbed the fur, I realized it was a spine and I moved my hand to the head to feel two long ears. I blinked even though I could hardly see.

"What's a rabbit doing in here?" I muttered.

"It's your twin, Usagi!" whispered Minako cheerfully from behind. I screamed and jumped up. The rabbit took off running, clearly frightened by the two of us. Minako looked at me disapprovingly. "Well, goodness, Usagi, why don't you just scare the poor thing to death? Honestly, I shouldn't even have bothered. I'll just let you keep failing at all of this."

None of her other words reached me. With a deadpan look that Rei would have been inclined to compliment me on, the words that escaped my mouth were, "You put the rabbit there?"

"Of course! I had to wake you up!" she giggled as if I were being silly. She grabbed my hand and started to drag me out of the tent. I noticed that she was already prepared for the day, including her bindings. I jerked my hand back and took out my stuff. Minako leaned so she could see.

She said, "You know, I totally forgot that you needed to do that."

I wondered about her for a minute, but brushed it off. As for as I could tell, Minako was a very strange girl and there was nothing more to be said about it. She told me to take out my sword and meet her a couple of miles away at a nearby river. I asked why wouldn't meet at the one we used to wash, but she said she didn't want anyone to discover us.

When I finally arrived, what Minako wanted me to do was clear: Minako would be training me.

"No!" I whined. "Mi—asashi, I'm tired. I'm going to fail either way so why can't I just get some extra sleep?"

She sighed and unsheathed her sword. Without warning, she thrust it toward me. I feel a burning underneath the thumbnail of my left hand. She had cut me. Minako cut me! I looked at the blood. It wasn't a deep cut at all, but it would leave a scar. I watched as the blood slid down my skin, leaving a sticky red stain, and fell to the grass. It mixed with the dew, but the sun was rising and it would dry soon.

"Defend yourself," chided Minako. I looked at her. Minako wasn't smiling like I'd always seen her. Her face was serious and blank. It reminded me of . . . . Now that I thought about it, Minako looked like she was trying to imitate General Kunzite. I told her that in hopes to make her laugh, but it affected her none; if anything, her expression cooled. Not icy, but like steel. Some metal, at least. I realized that I had been paying zero attention and my eyes snapped back to my "tutor". Minako rolled her eyes and ordered me to spar with her and do good.

So I did. After a few matches and many suggestions on attacks and form, I managed to beat her. She hopped off the grass quickly but grinned.

"Well, that was quick!" she said. "But remember—you did alright at this before. Let's work on hand-to-hand now."

Minako kept shouting out tips every chance she saw me do something she should criticize.

"Anticipate the attack!" she'd say. "Don't let me hit you. Try to use my attacks against me. You don't have enough muscle to make a good attack of your own."

I slipped and grabbed her arm with my hand. When we were both on the ground, I released her. She shook her arm.

Minako said, "Wow. Your nails are sharp." She blinked and shook her head, taking one of my hands. "Usagi—I mean, Ren, these look like girl's nails!"

I took it back slowly and remarked, "They are girl's nails," glancing at the long smooth surface of my right thumb. The other had broken off during training and I was fairly sure that half of my toenails had disappeared a long time ago; plus the callouses were killing me.

"But they aren't supposed to be." Minako sighed deeply. "Ren, you must take this more seriously. If we're caught, we will be killed. There are no ifs, buts, or ands about it."

I looked down. I didn't like being scolded, especially from Minako. And hadn't I just told myself that I would take care of everyone? That I wouldn't let us be discovered? I had gotten them into this; it was my job to do this, and I shouldn't be relying on Minako to speak for me. I looked up and caught her eye.

Minako gave me a weary smile. "Alright, get up. Let's work on spying."

I did as she said, but my ankle (which I had all but forgotten about) gave out. I fell to the ground wincing, but the pain subsided after a moment.

Back to her normal self, Minako giggled. "Or not."

"Where were you two?" whispered Makoto. She coughed when she realized that she couldn't use her "man" voice whispering. Minako waved her off and we got into formation.

We did the same activities as always, but for once, I wasn't the farthest behind. If anything, I was closer to the front. Everyone took notice. Even when we ran a few miles, I managed to bypass Gurio and run with Motoki, who was average at best.

As exhausted as I was at the end of the day, plopping down onto my makeshift bed, I smiled.

For the first time in my entire stay, when I met with the prince, he smiled at me very briefly. I could hardly stop myself from smiling back. The prince always looked so solemn, but something changed when he smiled. He seemed kind of goofy and happy (because not everyone is when he smiles).

"What changed?" he asked.

I didn't answer.

Prince Endymion exhaled loudly. He was annoyed by my refusal to reply. He wouldn't be smiling again, I thought. "What changed?"

"Masashi decided that I needed extra practice," I muttered.

"Tsukino, look at someone when they speak to you!" he demanded. I looked up startled. I rarely looked people in the eye; I rarely looked anywhere but the ground or else I had what felt like anxiety attacks. But just like the previous day with Minako, I was fine. Looking him in the eye didn't bother me at all. I didn't even notice that Prince Endymion had been scrutinizing me. "When we gave out notices, was . . . —do you have a sister?"

"Yes," I answered. "Her name is Usagi. She's seventeen."

The prince nodded. It sufficed. "Did she retrieve the notice then?"

"Yes. Our father was ill. I was taking care of him," I said as I tried to grasp the little details of the story I had put together in my head that day.

"She said that she would retrieve the notice for him. She gave no mention of you," said the prince with a hint of disapproval—no, suspicion—in his voice.

I tried to force an exasperated sigh that a little brother would have made. I would have liked to have one. My cousin Shingo would have been perfect for the job. He already loved to annoy me. I blinked. I was being too quiet again! It was much too easy to get lost in thought. "Usagi likes to think that I'm still a child."

"I see," he said. "You're dismissed. But I expect that you will keep up with the other trainees from now on."

"Yes, sir," I answered. My voice didn't squeak. I didn't hurry away. Instead, I rose calmly, not making a single noise and stepped out of the tent.

I felt perfectly content.

I hope Motoki's reaction seemed realistic enough for you. I tried to make his shock clear, but I'm not sure how well I did. It's rushed because they didn't have much time, but he will appear again later for another conversation.