Disclaimer: It's noon exactly, I've been up all night thinking about NejiHina, and I still own absolutely nothing of Naruto. If that status ever changes, I'll let you know.
The time for the wedding was drawing closer, and each day Neji was a little bit less and a little bit more sure that he could do this. It was a conflicting emotion really. He only became more anxious, which was unusual for him because hardly anything ever made him anxious. And yet as he spent more and more time with Hinata, whenever he was around her he was sure that things between them would work out for the better. Maybe it wouldn't be a marriage based on love, as his mother and father's marriage had been, but he thought, as long as it was Hinata he was with, it'd turn out alright. After all, they didn't really need love. And why was he worrying about love again suddenly anyway? He'd tried, in vain, several times, to remind himself that this was an arranged marriage, of which planning he'd had no part of, and that he'd never once before had a thought for love or relationships in his entire life.
Hiashi had been happy, of course, to see a ring upon Hinata's finger. Honestly, the man's suddenly excited manner eluded Neji. Perhaps his uncle was only so happy at the prospect of their marriage because it would be a match sticking true to the Hyuga bloodline, that any children they might have would be powerful and strong. Or perhaps he was looking forward to the uniting of the two Houses. Either way, he hadn't expected Neji to actually propose to Hinata - no one had - and so when she came home on that day with Neji's mother's ring on her hand, and Hiashi had recognized it, he embraced his daughter, and told her that he was happy for her.
The wedding date was practically upon them now though - not more than a week away, and Neji realized that Hinata's previous worries about whether or not she would be a good wife had gotten him to thinking about his own abilities as a husband. Of course, thinking logically, he knew that this was going to happen whether he was prepared or not, that this marriage was a good thing, and that he could handle it. Thinking logically made everything seem okay, so he stuck with it.
He spent more of his time with Hinata than ever, because her presence relieved him a little, and also both distracted him and made him even more nervous at the same time. He thought that Hinata herself was a little relieved for his presence as well though, because though most of the time she seemed anxious and fidgety, she actually sought him out a few times near the Branch House buildings, claiming that things were worse whenever he wasn't around. They spent much of their time in Neji's clearing.
And Hinata was talking to him more now, opening up to him, which was also a good thing. He hoped that one day they would eventually find a common, comfortable level to stand on, but for now things still seemed a little unbalanced and out of place. Eventually, he hoped. Neji himself though, spoke less and less to Hinata, and became even less and less fidgety, sitting still as a stone with lips sealed tight out of stress, but he thought she understood his silence, or was either too nervous herself to really notice it.
They each had their own worries about the upcoming wedding, and the marriage that they were getting themselves into. They didn't say many of the troubles aloud, though for the most part they were mutual. The whole producing an heir thing was like a taboo topic around the two of them, and caused a great deal of embarrassment for the both of them whenever Hiashi happened to mention it. And the fact that they would have to kiss, and in front of everybody, at the wedding was a definite worry. Just because things were progressing slowly in their relationship didn't mean that they were to the point of kissing yet. They weren't even holding hands so far. Mostly, they were comfortable with simply walking arm in arm, and every now and then as they sat on the favorite rock in Neji's clearing Hinata would rest her head on his shoulder, but never did anything go further than that.
So, the bride and groom to be were both rather quite wound up in their own little knots of fret and anxiety, but otherwise things were going smoothly, and Neji assumed that their behavior was not so unusual for almost-newlyweds.
They did spend a little time in Konoha, with friends. Mostly Hinata's friends, because selfish Neji didn't really have many people whom he enjoyed being around. He sometimes trained with his team, and Hinata sometimes trained with hers, but the both of them were skipping a few sessions in preparation for the upcoming event. However, Neji and Hinata were now never very far from each other. Whenever they were in town, Neji walked with her, and whenever she practiced with her team, Neji watched - much to the aversion of Kiba and Shino, and sometimes Kurenai as well. Hinata at first refused to stick around while he was practicing with his team, fretting that she would become a nuisance and get in their way. However, she didn't stay away for very long, and he caught a glimpse of her sneaking her way over to get a glimpse of him every now and then. All in all it was quite a distraction.
"You know, for someone who's suffering from an arranged marriage, you sure do seem nervous about it," TenTen remarked one day. "And Hinata too. She says she doesn't want to be around, and she shows up anyway. What's up with that? Are you sure you two aren't in love with each other?"
Neji fixed her with a steely glare. She knew full well that he didn't discuss things with people. She'd just laughed at him though.
All time must pass, though, the show must go on, and nothing lasts forever - however you wanted to say it. But eventually the time finally came, and it was the night just before the wedding date. Neji said goodnight to his bride-to-be and was turning to head for home when she reached out and pulled on his sleeve to stop him. Her eyes were wide, and he could almost see all her worries swimming in them. "Neji, about tomorrow…" her quiet voice faltered a little, and she gulped hard. "We- we have to… kiss in front of people. You know?"
He nodded seriously, and leaned in to press his lips to hers.
It was awkward, for the both of them, and Hinata looked as though she were going to blush herself to death, and possibly pass out again. It was just a quick peck really, because neither of them were used to it or really knew what to expect. Without another word, Neji touched the bottom of her chin in a sort of good-bye gesture, and was off into the night, trying to shake off that anxious feeling.
He was quite unsuccessful however. By the time he was home again - which didn't take very long, seeing as the Hyuga houses were all in the same vicinity - he was still pretty much a nervous wreck, or at least, as much of a nervous wreck as Neji Hyuga could be. Knowing that he would never be able to sleep in the state that he was in, Neji sat, legs crossed, to meditate and clear his mind for a while.
The next day he woke in an uncomfortable position, with his back to his bedroom wall. It wasn't the worst thing in the world though. He'd had slept in much harsher conditions in the past, and opening his eyes to find the sunlight streaming into his room was better than waking in the rain and mud any day.
It was a new day. And he was getting married.
Things had most definitely changed over the past week or so. In driving himself and Hinata crazy, Neji fond himself actually looking forward to the wedding. Maybe he really did want to marry Hinata after all. Or maybe these feelings simply stemmed from being so worked up over the past week, and maybe he just wanted to get this all over with as quickly as possible.
Neji didn't know what to think anymore. As cold and determined as he usually was - or, as he was usually supposed to be - Neji was actually a rather honest guy. Just because he didn't like to show much emotion didn't mean that he was total prick or anything; it certainly didn't mean that he didn't have emotion. It must have been hard to imagine for anyone else, but he was actually quite capable of feeling things like love… he'd just never had the opportunity before.
So was that the real question here? Did he love Hinata? Was that what he wanted to know?
A month or so ago, he'd been surprised out of his mind the day that Hiashi had told him what the Elders had decided. A marriage between the Main House and the Branch House. A marriage between two cousins - Neji and Hinata. What a preposterous, unbelievable idea. And now that Neji was here, he wondered, could he go through with it?
Yes. Yes, if it were with Hinata, he believed he could.
And he hoped that he wasn't just fooling himself into loving her. He hoped that one day he would love her, and that it would be real, because a girl like her deserved it. Hinata had always been the day-dreamer, romance novel type of person, and so she deserved a love like what she imagined she was supposed to have. Neji had never anticipated even in his wildest dreams that he'd be the one to offer such a love, but for Hinata's sake, and his own, and for the heir that they still didn't even want to think about so far, he hoped that he could give it well. He hoped, like any sensible, strong-minded man would, that he would be a good husband, and do the things he was supposed to do without screwing up, and that he would make his wife happy.
And so, it was time. And there Neji stood in his stiff formal robes, and there Hinata stood in hers, and everyone was watching. And before Neji had turned around twice, they were married.
The public kiss had gone smoothly enough. It had been nothing more than a millisecond longer version of the quick peck he had given her the night before, and everyone had cheered after that, so no one had really been paying attention to the kiss. That wasn't what was important, after all.
The reception lasted a while. Thanks to the Hyuga clan Elders, and Hiashi too, the party was quite a grand one - which honestly wasn't that surprising. They had pulled out all the stops, and everything Neji saw and touched looked expensive. And yes, in case you were wondering, Hinata did look very beautiful. Neji thought so too. He even managed to smile as they began the dancing, as was tradition. Hinata had been for the most part embarrassed during the ceremony, and now during the party, but the excitement had put a certain light in her eyes, and though she still fidgeted a little, she seemed mostly relieved and pleased with herself. Yes, she looked very pretty.
And now Neji had to think, about how there was suddenly another person in his life, when before it had only been himself. A wife, he was married. Someone to share half of himself with, hopefully as well as his father had done with his mother. "Neji, what are you thinking?" Hinata asked quietly while they danced that first dance. All eyes were upon them of course, and Hinata was still blushing - a little of it was due to a flush from all the attention and excitement - but no one was standing close enough to hear their words.
"I'm thinking about my mother and father actually. They were very happy, in marriage."
A tiny smile crossed Hinata's features, it seemed like she couldn't hold it back. "Do you think we will be happy too?" And the look in her eyes was such a bare, open honesty, that for a moment Neji forgot which way his feet were going.
"I hope so," he replied, trying to focus on the damn dance. He didn't like dancing. Despite being adapt at stealth and graceful silence in anything else, whenever he was on the dance floor Neji turned into a complete and absolute klutz. He was hoping that this part would be over soon. Dancing was probably one of the only things he really, truly failed at, and felt that he could not improve on whatsoever. Hinata, on the other hand, flowed gracefully from step to step.
And there was something about that which was strikingly ironic. Neji felt the urge to roll his eyes.
There were speeches and sake. Neji didn't drink much, and noticed that Hinata didn't either, but Hiashi did. His face was red from having drunk so much, and Neji wondered if his uncle were actually becoming a little tipsy. However, the man's speech was not impaired in the slightest, and Neji felt as if Hiashi could still do all the things he could do sober, or possibly even better than he could sober. Hinata didn't like sake, Neji could tell by the look on her face every time she took a sip. Or perhaps it was alcohol itself she didn't like. She gave her father quite the disapproving look whenever she saw him take another drink, and then another.
The party went on, and people kept wishing the couple congratulations, hope and inspirational words for the future, some people even commented on how unusual it was that Neji and Hinata were cousins and marrying. It wasn't completely unheard of really, but still a rare happening. Then people finally began retiring for the night, and leaving the party. Naruto Uzumaki, Neji had noticed with some amusement, had been glum during most of the night, and as the blond boy left, Neji couldn't resist asking, "Still hoping to catch that date?" He let his face settle into a completely expressionless position, just as if he were asking a simple, polite question, but Naruto still walked away calling him a bastard under his breath.
Neji and Hinata stood arm in arm for most of the party, but it felt more formal than it did whenever they were alone. Everybody was watching them, and the clothes the two of them had on were really quite uncomfortable, so Hinata and Neji were both all stiff for most of the celebration. Through everything that happened, Neji stayed silent and accepted it all, saying goodnights whenever it was appropriate, giving thanks at every congratulation and toast and speech. A surprising amount of people had things to say, all things considered. Well, he wouldn't think much on it. And though Hinata was a bit more social than he was, for the most part she followed Neji's suit and stayed silent, too embarrassed to do much else.
Finally, Neji decided that the party had winded down enough for the two of them to leave, although, he was still a little nervous about how the night would progress. That night they would be moving into their own place among the Hyuga Houses, and for the first time, Neji would be living in the Main House section, and he'd be there to stay. And of course, they'd also be sleeping in the same bed from then on, as husband and wife now. And Neji tried desperately to fight off any thoughts of... producing an heir. Perhaps they didn't need one so soon. Just thinking of it gave him a slight anxiety induced headache.
Hinata quietly agreed then that they should leave though, and they themselves said their goodbyes to all the party guests still remaining, Hinata's father and sister both among them. "Sister," Hanabi acknowledged her when she told her goodnight. Hanabi and Hinata hadn't ever been on very good terms with one another.
So Hinata hugged her father, and then they were gone, on their way to a place that they would soon be calling home. Married. A lifetime commitment. It would definitely take some getting used to, but Neji supposed that he could handle it, considering that he had the rest of his life to do it.
And things were a little awkward once they were there, alone together again. It was… like a house just for them, except it was huge. Everyone in the Main House had their fair share of luxury, and Hinata, being the heiress of the Hyuga clan, was no exception. However, it seemed as if even she weren't used to such outrageous extravagance. She was used to living in a place every bit as big, he supposed, but she had shared her home with other people, like her father and sister and servants. Now it would just be she and Neji together in this place.
So, the two of them were silent in their observations of their new home. They walked together, and Hinata took his hand, blushing a little and glancing his way as if to make sure that it was an alright thing to do. Before the wedding, neither of them had actually been allowed to go inside the building. The family hadn't wanted them to. And so now they had much to observe. It was a nice place really, but Neji wondered how he could call a place like this his home. It seemed more like a luxury resort.
So, the two of them continued their personal tour, because the only thing they had to do other than that was to go to bed... and Neji didn't think that Hinata was any more ready for that than he was.
The quiet in the house was eerie. Neji was used to some kind of communication, some kind of noise in the background. But there was nothing. Just simple, deafening silence that was hard to handle. And something about Hinata seemed sad, as if she had lost something precious during the celebration. It seemed as if a part of her had gone, and Neji didn't know what to do about it. What was he supposed to say to her? His new wife, whom he cold barely hold hands with, let alone anything more than that. What did a man do when something was troubling his wife? He knew what his father probably would have done, but Neji couldn't be his father and he didn't think things like that would work at this point in he and Hinata's marriage.
He remembered, as a child, being content, and watching as his father pulled his mother close… kissing her skin, making her happy by rubbing her shoulders and melting her stress away. Even as a baby Neji had known that they were in love, but he couldn't make those images match up with he and Hinata. In fact, he shied away from those thoughts. He couldn't even imagine pulling Hinata close the way his father had done to his mother, much less kissing her or….
"Neji," Hinata said quietly, and that was all she needed to say. She let go of his hand, and he watched as she sat down in a chair, and the breath seemed to leave her in one large gust. And then Hinata began to cry, silently, hiding her face in her hands. For a moment, Neji panicked internally, and then he could feel his heart thrumming as he stood closer to her. Unsure of himself, he crouched in front of her, and waited until she looked up at him. Tears flowed freely down her face, and quiet sobs shook her body. Neji had the strangest urge to apologize, and he took her hands in his own.
They fell asleep that night still wearing their formal wear, because it was just too awkward to separate from one another and dress into something else. And as he drifted to sleep, Neji was marveling at the feel of Hinata resting on his chest, the sound of her gentle breathing as she snoozed soundly. He wondered if he would soon grow accustomed to this feel, these sounds, at having Hinata in his arms as they slept. She smelled nice. Neji had noticed it before, he'd just never really thought about it. And then, he drifted off into a content, comfortable sleep.