Chapter 4

I awoke with a start; sweat started trickling down my forehead and back. My breathing was ragged as fear coursed through my veins. Images of the dream I just had sent unwelcome shivers down my spine. I was pinned down by Lokesh; he was laughing darkly at my feeble attempts to escape from him. He would trail his sharp nails along my cheek, making them bleed under the process. I screamed loudly, hoping someone would hear me. I wanted the images of the nightmare to go away. I closed my eyes tightly as my body began preparing itself for another day of torture. I knew that today I would get my shot; the shot that kept me from using my lightening power. I don't know what the shot contains, but it weakens my power. I felt so helpless and powerless. I wished my tigers were here with me, but I'm grateful that they are safe.

Suddenly I heard, "She's awake."

I sighed contently. I knew that voice from anywhere. It's been so long since I heard Ren's voice. The darkness that surrounded me faded away, and my wilting heart perked up a little. I knew I was dreaming, but I didn't want to think about it now. I prayed that this dream would last forever, but I knew I didn't have much time. I fluttered my eyes opened and my gaze met cobalt blue ones. I soaked in his features: his bronze complexion, his silky, black hair, his round, full lips, his concerned expression, and of course those captivating blue eyes. He gave a sad smile while tracing his finger down my cheek. My heart accelerated from his touch, and I took a sharp intake of breath as I felt warm tingles shooting down my limbs like an electric current was coursing through me. His touch felt so . . . real and alive; I absorbed his touch as best as I could. The dream almost seemed real.

I realized we were both in a jungle; I began to panic. Now, my suspicion of this being a dream was confirmed; my heart turned cold and numb. I loved these kinds of dreams, but they left me heartbroken when I woke up. My bottom lip began to tremble and the false Ren cradled me in his strong arms. He started to rock me back and forth, and I held him closer to me. I didn't care if he was an illusion; it was as close enough to the real Ren. The barrier that I set up between the real Ren and me corroded into dust. I heard him soothe me with his native language, and my heart swelled at the sound of his voice. I was surrounded by his sandalwood scent; I buried my nose into his chest. Oh, I missed this so much, even from the real Ren. I wished Kishan were here too, but I knew that I would suffer more pain when this dream was over. My heart could only take so much.

"Don't leave me, please," I begged softly to the false Ren. I just wanted to hear his voice some more, so I can remember him when I wake up. I closed my eyes shut tightly; I didn't want this to end.

"I won't, priya. I won't," he soothed as I felt his lips kiss the top of my head. My arms that were around his neck tightened into a chokehold embrace, but he didn't complain.

"How is she doing?"

Kishan! I opened my eyes and I saw Kishan kneeling beside us. I drank in his features too: his antique-bronze skin, his ink-black hair, and his golden eyes with specks of copper. More tears streamed down my face; they are both here with me. In dreams like these, this usually doesn't happen. It's either Ren or Kishan, but in this dream, I get the advantage of both of them.

Kishan gave a strained smile and asked gently, "How are you doing, bilauta?"

I didn't respond; I didn't even want to speak to ruin this almost perfect dream. It wasn't perfect because they weren't real. I banished the thought away; I wanted to spend as much time with them as I can. I wasn't going to saying anything, but something in Kishan's expression made me speak.

"I'm fine," I lied to the false Kishan. I knew if I said those two words, Kishan would relax a bit and I could enjoy the dream.

Kishan wiped away a tear on my cheek with his thumb. I shivered a little because this was the first time Kishan touched me in my dreams. I finally, after three weeks, I felt secure and content. The damages that Lokesh left in my soul, was now forgotten. My world became brighter: the cloudy, terrifying storms vanished, my dying flowers became green and grew a little, and sun rays were shining through the clouds. My trembling lips turned into a smile as more tears coursed down my cheek. Stupid tears. I can't see them; stop crying. I swallowed thickly as I looked at my two tigers.

"Don't cry, Iadala. It's over," I heard Ren say softly.

Oh, I wish. I wanted to say, but I didn't want to ruin this almost perfect moment. I tightened my hold around his neck in response.

"I'm going to get some water for her," Kishan said as he got up; I felt my eyes widen.

"No!" I shouted. "Don't leave me. Don't go away. Just stay here until I wake up," I pleaded desperately. I lifted one of my arms from Ren's neck and reached out to him. If I let him go away; he will disappear. I felt Ren tighten his hold on me so I wouldn't fall over.

Kishan furrowed his eyebrows with concern. "You're not dreaming, Kelsey."

I shook my head in denial. "The false Kishan would say that. No, I am not letting you out of my sight!"

Kishan knelt down beside me again and took my trembling hand. His fingers stroked my knuckles to comfort me; surprisingly, my knuckles were not bruised, but this is a dream anyway. He kissed the top of my hand and whispered, "We finally saved you," he closed his eyes like he was relieved to say those words. "We were afraid we would never save you, but we did." I felt Ren's chest rumble as he growled. I tightened my arm around his neck and began to stroke the back of his head absently. I miss this too. Kishan continued, "But the task seemed too easy, but we had to get you out of there. We didn't see Lokesh . . ."

I shivered again and stammered, "What do you mean you didn't see Lokesh?" I didn't want to talk about Lokesh in my dream. He haunts my dreams as it is.

"If he was there, he didn't approach us for some reason. It only took us fifteen minutes to find you," Ren said tightly.

Now, my brain began functioning. Maybe I wasn't dreaming, but I didn't let my hopes rise up. "How did you find me?" I asked while my voice wavered.

"We tracked you with the cell phone, of course," Kishan replied softly. I felt my eyebrows furrow; they were talking to me like I was some scared doe. I felt like one. Maybe they could see the fear lingering in my eyes. "It wasn't hard taking the guards down. Like I said, it was too easy, but at least you're safe now," Kishan said as he stroked my knuckles again.

"Kelsey, did Lokesh put a tracking device in you?" Ren asked urgently.

"I—I don't know," I stuttered.

I tried to remember, but I couldn't. My mind was still thinking I was dreaming. I heard Ren give a heavy sigh, and he loosened his hold on me. I automatically tightened my arm around him.

"Don't you dare move . . ." I was interrupted by a soft voice.

"Where am I?" the soft voice asked hoarsely; it sounded like a girl.

Images of the mysterious girl in my cage flickered across my mind. I gasped, "You saved her?"

Kishan looked back over his shoulder without dropping my hand. He turned his golden gaze back to me and nodded. I wiggled my hand out of Kishan's hand and placed it on his cheek. He closed his eyes and gave a light sigh.

"Thank you. I don't know what he was going to do to her, but she doesn't deserve the treatment I received . . ." I drifted off and instinctively looked at my stomach.

My breathing ceased. How? What? I dropped my hand from Kishan's cheek and touched my healed flesh. I didn't have the amulet on me, so I knew that wasn't the reason for the fast healing. My clothes were still shredded where the wound was and dry blood stained the clothing.

"What did he do to you, Kells?" Ren asked; his voice sounded strained. I even heard Kishan stop breathing.

Ren's voice brought me out of confused thoughts and disturbing images of Lokesh torturing me replaced them. I shook my head violently as I felt my eyes water.

"Don't ruin this dream, Ren," I choked out.

"Oh, Kelsey," Ren said in an agonized voice as he held me tighter to him. "And you're not dreaming." Yes, I am. I wanted to argue.

"Is someone there?" the girl asked desperately.

"I'm going to go check on her," Kishan said softly as he stood up.

I started to protest, but Kishan gave me a comforting kiss on the forehead to soothe me and walked away. My eyes were glued to his back as he took a water bottle out of a backpack and strolled to the frightened girl. The girl was looking around frantically, and she froze when she saw Kishan. I watched him hand the fragile girl a water bottle. The girl hesitated and looked at him with huge hazel eyes, confused. She looked around and finally saw me. She stared at me for a moment, and then looked back at Kishan. I heard him saying something, but I couldn't hear. She reached out with a shaky hand and took the water bottle from Kishan. She swallowed gulps of water vigorously.

Then, I realized I wasn't dreaming. The smells and the sounds of the jungle seemed too real. Kishan wasn't fading away as I watched him and the girl talking in low, hushed voices. I know dreams are not this descriptive. Oddly, my body was aching anymore, but I did feel filthy. This isn't a dream, this is real. I stiffened in the real Ren's arms as the thought entered my mind. Ren noticed.

"What's wrong?" he asked concerned. His hot breath blew on my neck, making me shiver.

You. I thought while taking a deep breath to clear my foggy mind.

"I'm not dreaming," I whispered to myself.

"No," he said cautiously. "You're safe now." Stupid tiger ears.

My body was relieved, but my mind was in distress. This is where I left off when I left him. My soul began to cry out to the real Ren because it wanted him. Now, with all the wounds bestowed by Lokesh, it needed him desperately like how a plant needs water. But I belong to Kishan. I belong to Kishan. I repeated the mantra in my head. Kishan can sew me back up, right?

Stop it. Don't think about this now. Think about it when you're better. You survived for them and that's what counts. Ren and Kishan need you. Give yourself time to heal. Thinking about this mess won't solve anything. My more logical side cried out.

I felt my tears cease, and I noticed I brought in some inner strength within me. I've now made my decision. It's not what I want, but it's what we need. We need to focus on the task at hand. And I don't think in my condition, I'm certainly not ready for a relationship. Friendship, yes, but more . . . no. I was determined with my decision that I have just made.

"What's wrong," I heard Ren ask again.

I looked at my tiger and gave a small smile. He searched my eyes; worry and agony ruining the planes of his face. I placed my hand on his cheek to ease his aguish, and he leaned into my touch as he placed his hand over mine. He kissed my palm as softly as a butterfly landing on a flower petal. I ignored the tingles he left on my palm.

"Nothing," I reassured him, but I knew that a lot was bothering me. Just Lokesh's face in my mind made me want to hide in the shadows, but I knew I had to be strong for my tigers.