Hey there! It's been a while since I published anything (I was real busy last month). Lucky for you I wrote a new chapter! Please excuse any grammar errors and if you see somethings wrong, you can always message me! I hope you enjoy!

Declaimer: I don't own Bleach or any of it's characters, except my OC (Shiro and Ariwa)

Looking for... Answers

'Maybe it was a wrong way to do things. I've hurt people I never meant to harm, all because I don't want to give up, but in the end I can't help but wonder if it's even worth the try. I only need a chance that time doesn't want to give me. Or is it me who is asking too much from time? I don't know what to do. Is hiding even going to help me in anything? My path is once again unclear and I can't see you. I need help. I need help like your's, that once again, I can't find.'

There was a bright full moon on Soul Society sky late that night. The air chilly, but still calming. The night sky's biggest light gave him a warm and comforting feeling, drifting him in deep thought. He was caught in a battle were his only enemy was himself, making his head swirl in complex and worry. Sitting in the tops of one of squad ten's highest building, wrapping his knees with his arms to keep out the chill and resting his weary head in his knees, he tried to forget of all worry that tormented him.

It had been such much time he had wasted, there was no way he could wait any longer, yet still, there was something pushing him back from all, but he couldn't seem to see it clearly yet. Everything was confusing. He couldn't even tell if he was doing things right. He couldn't possibly be more troubled than what he already was.

"It's a bit too late for you to be out here." a new voice startles Shiro, and he raises his head to see him.

"C-Captain! What are you doing here so late?" he asked him as he came in closer to him.
"I was just about to ask you the same thing."

Shiro lowered his head. "... I was just taking some air."

Hitsugaya, didn't question him any further and instead, he sat down right beside him and joined him. Shiro didn't say a word, but he observed him from the corner of his eyes, watching closely his every move. His nerves tickled him in his stomach, but he was skilled enough to hide it.

"The moon's quit big tonight, isn't it?" Hitsugaya proceeded to start a conversation with him, which only made Shiro feel uneasy.
Shiro agreed with a silent humid. His words remained stuck in his mouth unable to be spoken.

Hitsugaya glared at him noticing he wore the same worried expression he had from the last time he saw him in his office. His eyes were lost in the dark and his childish and bright smile was nowhere to be seen.

"Do you come here often?" he insisted on making him speak. Shiro, as much as he tried not to, couldn't simply pretend he didn't hear him.

"Just sometimes... It makes me think... the sky, I mean." his anxiousness couldn't let him finish a proper sentence. He cuddled him self tighter by a cold rush of wind, trying to look busy as silence was spread between the two.

It took a while for Hitsugaya to figure out what he could say next, noticing Shiro didn't seemed very comfortable withe their conversation, but as he was about to speak up, Shiro's words were already on top of his.

"It's an old habit..." his words sounded forced. Almost as if there was something holding him back from saying them. "I... come out to watch the stars and... my worries, they disappear." He gazed up to search for them as he spoke hoping and praying to something out there that what he was doing was right. "At least... That's what my mother use to say."

Hitsugaya's brow rose. His curiosity was immediately captured. "Mother?" he couldn't hold back to ask.

Just as he expected, his words couldn't help but make him wonder. He needed to keep it up. Perhaps... this was the right time. The moment he had searched for was right there. How could he ever waste it?

"... Y-Yes... my... mother, she..." he couldn't find the right words to keep going. Improvising wasn't his specialty.

"You have a mother in Rukongai?" asked Hitsugaya.

"... Y-Yes... I do." Shiro froze by the realization of what he had said. His words told no lie, but perhaps Hitsugaya wasn't seeing them in his perspective. The truth could be revealed right there, but there was something pushing him back. He knew he had to do it, that was his goal all along, but was it really what he wanted? Was he ready to tell him? To face his truth? For the consequences? He knew he didn't wanted it to be like that again. He wanted to be happy. He wanted to be there, with him and telling him would only break them apart. But then... how could he ever break his promise?

"I miss her you know..." Toshiro glared at Shiro, who had lowered his head trying to hide it away. "My mother... it's been a while since I last saw her..."
"Why did you left her?" asked Hitsugaya. His question didn't made Shiro feel calmer but he couldn't blame him for it. He didn't knew after all and that was still his own fault. "Why would you leave your mother to become a Soul Reaper?"

"It's not like I wanted to leave her... it's just that... I had to come here."
"For what?' Shiro felt his time was coming close just by the atmosphere of their conversation. He clenched his trembling hands in fists, wrinkling his shihakusho. Trying to hold something close to himself as he waited for a burning pain to trespass his skin. Goosebumps ran down his spine. His whole body twitched in a chill. What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he just spit it out?

The words never came to him. They remained in his mouth like a bad taste of medicine. He would try to swallow them away, but he knew he had to confront it. But why? Why then? Why did it had to be then? Why so soon. He had barely gotten to him and he already wanted to risk him self? The thought of suddenly becoming exposed to truth tormented him like a memory he didn't wanted to see. He didn't wanted to go back. Not yet. He still had so many things he wanted to do. So many things still undone. He didn't wanted to return to that nightmare. Not then. Not again.

"My... my mother died some time ago..."
Hitsugaya remained speechless. He certainly didn't expected it to take such turn. He started to feel pity for him, more than what he already felt. Such a young boy. Why did he had to go through all that suffering? He didn't deserved it, thought Hitsugaya, all this pain and suffering, he never deserved to be treated such way. It was a cruel and cold fate, then again, his case also remembered him of his own cruel and cold fate.

"... She was killed... on a Hollow attack. I had no where else to go... so I ended up coming here for... answers."

Hitsguaya faced ground. His pain for him was unbearable. He couldn't even imagine what Shiro had to go through, but of course he couldn't, this was just a believable lie Shiro told. After all, he wasn't strong enough yet to tell him the truth, but if being a coward would give him more time to be with him, he would accept being a coward, and perhaps the most coward of all.

"My mother...she always knew what to say when i was troubled and she help me get through things quickly. She always stood up for me and never left me behind. She was all that mattered for me, all I cared for. But when I lost her..."

"... I'm very sorry to hear that." said Hitsugaya to the boy, trying to find words of compassion that at the moment, they seemed impossible to find.

"Don't be, sir..." interrupted Shiro, his face had risen from his down cast. "I'm sure I'll see her again some day... I know it." a small grin had grown in him.

Hitsugaya wonder what he actually meant by that. Of course it was impossible to see the people who die in Soul Society again, but he didn't wanted to put Shiro in such doubt. At least only the though of it made him feel happy again.

"I'm sure you will." Shiro's words made him remember something he had promised to someone long ago.

He had spent so much time trying to forget it, after all this time, why would Shiro be the one to remember him about it? How could a child make him remember why he been hating himself for all those years and yet never regret any of it? All of it, drew him under his own shadow. The memories of those words that had pinned him to a wall and sealed him making it impossible to come out without getting even more hurt.

'I'll see you again', false words. That was all there was left of it.

"Sir?" Shiro's words snapped Hitsugaya out of his trance. He shook his head and turned away to hide the watery drops that had overflowed out his eyes.
"Are you alright?" Shiro had noticed them before Hitsugaya could wipe them away.

"I'm fine... Just a bit tired." Hitsugaya stood from his spot to leave, before anything else in him got out of hand. "I'll be leaving now. You should get going too. I'm going to need my lieutenant up early and well rested."

Shiro eyes wide. He turned to search for Hitsugaya to prove of what he had thought he said, but Hitsugaya didn't turned back to face him nor did he said goodnight. Even so, how could he deny it? He had heard him loud and clear.

He had finally reached him. He finally knew he would be by his side. And that was all that mattered. Even so something concerned him deeply. What was it that made him shed tears like that? It wasn't his lies. It wasn't anything he said. He knew there was something else. Something hidden in him that may have revealed to him again. Perhaps something that tormented him. Something he hadn't seen up until now. It didn't matter what it was, something seemed to may have broken loose. But it didn't matter, the way he saw it, Shiro finally understood he wasn't the only one keeping secrets.

...

It may have been the middle of the night, under that chilled dark sky, but Hiromu Ariwa had made his own way into Squad ten's library. The place remained almost deserted at that time in the night, and that only made it easier for Ariwa to accomplish the purpose of his visit. He walked around the library without bringing much attention to the guards at the main counter. He had search the dark library to find the section he looked for. It wasn't easy to roam through such place in the dark lighted by a single lamp in each corner and find exactly what he searched for. The Soul Reaper Academy profile section.

He looked at the most resent files they had and probably the only ones that still weren't cover in dust. All students with the same vocals were divided in books. He looked thought them carefully until he finally found what he needed. Ogino Shiro's profile page. Finally finding his success, he sat down underneath a lamp by the book shells and read it all away. After reading each word in detail, he snapped shut the book and let it rest in his lap. It had been almost a hour he had been there. A Soul Reaper or two may have passed by, but made no matter to him. He was able to regain everything he looked for. All he needed to know. All the proof he needed lied in that same book. A grin was drawn in his face, knowing now was going to be chance to prove that kid wrong and unmask him from his lies. For good.

End of chapter 4! The story is advancing real quickly! We'll be seeing secrets revealing real soon! Let me know what you think about the chapter! Any thoughts or suggestions you would like to give me, I am always open for opinions. Please wait patiently for the next chapter. I'll see you there!