Dawn of the Dead from the Neck Up

Chapter 4: I'm not just a…

A/N: Finally! Took you guys forever. Here's the fourth chapter of DotDftNU. If you're wondering who Gary is, then check my profile. He's an OC I created. And yes, there will be zombie Nazis in this episode. And they will die. And the Eds will survive. I decided not to make the Nazis too offensive, so I just decided that only the K word (Not K*ke, but K***t) would be used. Sorry if I offend any Germans.

Unless someone actually pulls it off, this is the closest you can get to a version of Madness (the famous cartoons of those guys killing people). And also, if anyone here has a Newgrounds account, do you think you can make an Ed, Edd n Eddy version of Madness? And if you do, please let me know, so I can watch it.

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Ed, Edd and Eddy were strolling across the outskirts of the town, each with their respective weapons in their hands. They were aiming to stop this madness, once and for all. Then, suddenly, a zombie appeared. "I'll handle this!" Ed bravely grabbed a hammer and hit a zombie on its head. Then, suddenly, the hammer shattered into wooden and metal pieces.

"BRAINS!" The zombie yelled whilst rubbing its head.

"That's not how you kill a zombie, Ed!" Edd got his chainsaw ready. He then started to decapitate the zombie before stopping halfway. He then twisted the chainsaw to a 90-degree angle before cutting its head off. Like always, he got covered in blood, but so did Ed and Eddy. "THAT'S how you kill a zombie!" The zombie then set alight before disappearing.

"Cool." Ed stared at the ground where there was once a zombie corpse.

"Careful!" Eddy complained. "As you said a couple of chapters ago, blood doesn't come out!" Edd gave his short friend the evil eye before Eddy retracted his statement. "Sorry." Edd stopped looking at Eddy, then carried on walking.

Meanwhile, back in the cul-de-sac, the kids, especially Kevin, were trying to get over Edd shouting at the jock. "Woah, dude!" Kevin was shell shocked. "Double Dork needs to take a chill pill"

"Couldn't you have shot him?" Nazz reminded.

"I panicked, OK?" Kevin explained.

"Best not infuriate him any more." Jimmy was trying to be on the safe side. All the kids (except Kevin) agreed.

"Just because that dork yelled at me doesn't mean I won't give him a wedgie later." Kevin couldn't care less.

"Unless you want a cocktail sausage for a dick." Jonny prodded the jock with Plank.

"Shut up." Kevin gave the weirdo a black eye, making a huge hole in the melon.

Using Plank, Jonny whacked Kevin in the testes, causing the jock to collapse to the ground, gasping for air. But it didn't stop there. Jonny then whacked Kevin so much that Plank started to crack. Then he stopped. Kevin had a mild concussion, smashed testicles and two cracked ribs. Everyone stopped and stared at the injured body. "His fault." Jonny said in defence.

"When those zombies come, we'll be sacrificing you!" Sarah screamed at Jonny.

"AFTER I get Plank repaired… somehow…" The weirdo mused.

Back with the Eds now, and Edd was covered in so much blood, that it started to drip off of him. Whilst where were with the kids, he had killed two more. That makes the zombie death toll 63. Then, there was three men standing in the way. Something didn't feel right about them. Then Edd finally knew them. They were Nazis.

"Himmler!" Edd looked at Heinrich Himmler. "Rommel!" The genius then looked at Erwin Rommel. But when he looked at the last person, his mind went blank.

"Harris?" Ed guessed that it was Ronan Harris, lead singer of VNV Nation.

"Harris?" The last person spat. "I'm Ian Stuart Donaldson!"

"Ach du liebe!" Rommel facepalmed. "Who ze fook invited zer Limey?"

"I dunno." Himmler replied. "He just kehm up, ja?"

"Look, I don't care how you Krauts did the Holocaust, I just want some fucking brains!" Ian scolded.

"Ooh, look at Herr. I-decided-to-become-a-Nazi!" Rommel taunted. "You vere born after der Second Vorld Var. Your band became Nazi after der debut album. Ve know, der Fuhrer told us."

"Adolf told ya?" Ian placed his hands on his hips.

"Ja!" Himmler said. "But zer faster ve keel these American scum…"

"I'm British!" Edd corrected.

"Let me start again. Zer faster ve kill zese ALLIED scum, der faster ve hail victory, ja?"

"OK." Rommel and Ian moaned.

"Dibs on Ian!" Edd raised his hand.

"Dibs on…" Ed then moaned because his choice was already taken.

"Alright," Eddy got out his AK47 and started to load in a clip. "Let's get ready."

Ed then beat Himmler to a semi-bloody pulp with his metal pole (no puns intended). He then impaled the pole through the zombie Nazis chest before it died. "Eins!" The yellow idiot was pleased with his first kill.

Edd, with his trusty chainsaw, hacked Ian into 7 pieces: head; neck; left arm; right arm; left leg; right leg; and rest of body. He then re-arranged the body parts, then took a photo with a camera that appeared from Hammerspace. The phot shows that the right hand was on the left, and vice versa. It also showed the same for the legs, and the back of the head faced the front. Then, after the body spontaneously combusts, Edd carried on where Ed left off: "Zwei!"

Eddy shot Rommel repeatedly, with a few bullets hitting the genital area. "Gott im Himmel." Rommel moaned, clutching his balls before collapsing. "You bastard!"

Eddy then put away his AK47, then got out a .45 revolver. He placed the gun on the back of the zombie Nazi's head. "I'm not just a bastard..." Eddy did an action movie one-liner before pulling the trigger. "I'm a wanker." Eddy concluded what his comrades said before him. "Die." He put his weapon away before walking off. Ed and Edd soon followed.

"I got a kill! I got a kill!" Ed was full of joy as he skipped merrily. It was when Eddy pistol-whipped the yellow idiot that he stopped.

"I wonder what the zombie death toll is now…" Eddy was curious.

"Probably about 100 in the city alone." Edd estimated. They didn't matter, just as long as there were no more zombies left…

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A/N: There we go. Not much of a chapter. If you're wondering how I found out about ISD (Ian Stuart Donaldson), then thank the hours of pointless Wikipedia searching I've done.

So, next chapter will mostly be based around the kids as the try to get Kevin to a hospital. They'll end up killing a few too. How many? Read and review to find out.

I'm also planning to end this story after the 7th chapter. After that, there might be a sequel, who knows? Of course, you don't have to decide now. You can decide later if you want. Either PM me, or mention it in the review, if you want a sequel. It's likely that it'll come out in October 2010. So watch this space!