When she woke up, she was sure something was different. There was no precise thought in her head, just the thought "something is different". She sat up and blinked a few times to clear her vision. The room was still the same. Nothing had changed since she had moved out when she had been a novice. Apart from… that. Something was lying on the bedside table, wrapped in light, clean cloth. What was that? She did not remember ever having seen it, but of course, her memories were inaccurate these days. Reaching out, she curiously put the bundle in her lap and was surprised by what she found. A long, black piece of clothing, torn and even burned in many places. She carefully unfolded it. It took her a second to grasp, but then she recognised one of the robes the Thieves' tailors had made for her and Akkarin just before the Invasion. Burying her face in the fabric, she allowed a few tears to fall and leave wet spots on the already black surface. When she opened her eyes again, she realised with a shock that, all over the front of the robes, blood had dried and colored it even darker.

She could not hold back the sobs now as she remembered more of the final fight than ever before. The sizzling of power under her feet. The sweet scent of magic in the air. And then the shocked gasp of Akkarin next to her as the knife hit him.

Blinking hard, she tried to blind out the images in her head, but of course her mind ignored her as usual. So she bore it until the end, when somebody had lifted her up into his arms. After that, nothing. Maybe she had fainted. The next thing she remembered was sitting in Rothen's living room.

Finally, when she considered herself as clear again, Sonea put the robes back onto the bedside table. A clicking noise directed her gaze to the floor – two silver rings had fallen out of the fabric. Picking them up, she drew in a deep breath and took a second look, but there was no doubt. Both their blood rings were lying on the floor, one with a piece of paper attached to it. She had thought the Guild had destroyed them, for they still were artefacts of black magic. With shaking fingers, she removed the ribbon and read the message:

Sonea,

I thought you might want to keep these, so I took yours when I brought you to my father's rooms. You'll find the note tied to Akkarin's. I hope that is all right.

Be strong, little Sonea.

Dorrien

So he still cared for her. More than she deserved to be cared for, after all she had done to him. When had he left the bundle there? He had gone back to his village in the south even before the funeral, she remembered him saying goodbye to his father. Maybe he had talked to her, too, but she was not quite sure about that.

Staring at the rings, she realized that they were everything she had from him. Everything she was ever going to get. The magicians would take care of the Sachakan knife and of course all of the books. She almost smiled imagining their reactions if Coren's diary became public. But all the things that made her feel connected to the dusty volumes would be lost if somebody else than him or her read them.

Sonea knew thought like that were ridiculous, but she just could not help it. I need to get over it. I need to live on. She paused. Where did that come from? Her life had felt so empty that she had never considered it could be different. She had assumed it would never change. But now… The rings were heavy and cold in her hands. Could I go back to normal? Could I pretend nothing happened? No, of course not. There were too many things she had to cope. Half of the city destroyed. Hundreds of people dead. The only man she had ever truly loved one of them…

But I could try to acknowledge what happened and live with it. That realization blew a jolt of energy through her body. Still shaking, she hid the rings under her pillow and got to her feet. She crossed the room, slowly opened the room and found herself stumbling into Rothen's arms. He caught and tried to steady her, and she suddenly felt hot tears running down her cheeks. She forced herself to look up into his face and took a few deep breaths before she managed to do it.

"I'm so sorry", she whispered.

After a second of surprise, he embraced her and held her tight while replying: "You don't need to be sorry, Sonea. It's not your fault."

Maybe she just imagined it, but she thought that she heard his voice crack.

I'm using an awful lot of maybe's in this one, but I sat on it for a week, so shut up.

From your reviews I realized that it's not really clear if I want to stick to the original storyline or answer is: Kinda. I'm obviously gonna keep that she'll recover, and that she is pregnant. But I absolutely change the whole rest of it. Expect the Unexpected.

Oh, and with "everybody dies", I mean you. You who don't review me.

'Til next week!

ButterflyInWinter