First let me say that I am soooo sorry! I didn't plan on it being two weeks before I posted the next chapter. The only thing I can say is that I am in college and things are just really crazy right now. If you've attended/are currently in college you know exactly what I mean. Time just flies by. This is more of filler chapter for the next couple of chapters.
On another note: Thank you to all of you who reviewed for the last chapter. You dont know how much those mean to me!:D okay enough chit chit, get reading! Chapter 4!
Previously on So Much More…
But the biggest question was could I really forgive him for all the pain's he's caused me? Is love really enough for us?
Both Haley and I were so deep in thought we didn't hear someone come into the apartment until they slammed the door behind them. We both jumped up from the noise and looked up to see who it was. Nathan was standing there, tossing a basketball back and forth in his hands, looking amused at the fact that we had not noticed their entry. And right next to him was Lucas. Ah Hell…
I can't catch a break, can I? Haley and I looked at each other, eyes wide, like a deer caught in headlights. Had they heard what we were talking about? No of course not. From their sweaty appearance it was obvious that they had just got back from the River court. Haley was the first to break the awkward silence.
"My husband's home!" she exclaimed, getting up from the couch and giving him a kiss.
"That he is. Did you miss me?" he asked, wrapping his arms around her waist.
"Of course! I always miss you when you're gone." She said giving him another kiss, this one a little bit longer. They were so cute together, but they could also be very nauseating. I looked over at Lucas and he was looking at me. I felt my body heat up and a blush form. Why did he have to look at me like that? He's looking at me with so much longing; I had to get out of here.
"Well as much as I would love watching this sickening display of Naley affection," I said, getting up from the couch, "I'm gonna go. Rachel's waiting for me."
"I still think it's weird that you're living with her." Haley said, pulling away from Nathan, with a look of concern.
"Yea me too," Nathan chimed in, "I'm surprised you guys haven't killed each other yet or at least severely injure." For the first time since they walked in, Lucas said something.
"Yea it does seem kind of weird, one minute you hate each other, then the next your best friends." He said. He looked at me in confusion, and I just rolled my eyes; now he cares? Please.
"Okay, one: It's none of your business who I'm friends with anymore; and two: I've recently had an opening in the best friend department so I thought: What the hell? People who say they love me stab me in the back, so maybe someone who hates me might be a nice change. And I have to say so far so good, she hasn't told me she has feeling for anybody I care about-which I have to say is nice." I said angrily, glaring in Lucas's direction. I knew that here was not the place to bring this stuff up, but it's like an instinct. Be a cold-hearted bitch and it will be easier to talk to him. Then I thought about what Haley and I had just talked about. I still had so much to think about, and until I come up with a plan of action, this is the only way I can be around him.
"Okay, I'm confused." Nathan said. I couldn't help but laugh. That's Nathan for you.
"Babe, not right now. Brooke," Haley said walking towards me. I help up my hands to stop her advancement.
"I'm fine Tutor Wife. I'm going to go. I'll see you tomorrow." I said, grabbing my keys and heading for the door. I stopped half way through the door, and turned towards Lucas. "How is my former best friend anyway? Make you feel sorry for her yet?" and with that I was out, slamming the door behind me. I started walking towards my car, when I heard a door open and close behind me. Please please please don't let it be…
"Brooke!" I heard him yell. I didn't say anything, just kept walking to my car. He kept yelling my name, catching up to me pretty quickly. I tried to hurry up and open my door, but once I got it open an arm came from behind me and shut it.
"What the hell do you want Lucas?" I said, turning around. I didn't get to say anything because before I could register anything, he grabbed me and kissed me. His lips were rough against mine, his tongue prying its way into my mouth. I should be pushing him away, stopping him but I can't find the strength to. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer; feeling him moan against my mouth. I felt my knees start to shake and felt his arms wrap around my waist, pulling me flush against him. I have never been kissed like this, so thoroughly. I shouldn't be doing this; it was not going to fix anything. If anything this was going to make things even more difficult. I used every ounce of will power I had and pulled my hands from his hair. I put my hands on his chest and pushed him away.
"Lucas…" I breathed, trying to catch my breath. I looked him in the eye and the look on his face made my heart ache. There was hope shining through his eyes, like maybe there was still a chance. "You shouldn't have done that…"
"I know and I'm sorry. I just couldn't let you walk away again, I just reacted." He explained. "We need to talk Brooke. Don't you think you at least owe me that much?"
"I don't owe you anything Lucas!" I yelled. I had to calm down; yelling was not going to help a damn thing. "I'm sorry, but now is not the greatest time, I'm emotionally drained right now. I agree that maybe we should talk sometime in the near future, but right now I want to go home and spend some time with my roommate. If you need someone to talk to right this second, I'm sure a certain fake-blonde will be more than willing to talk. Goodbye." I got in my car and started it. Lucas stood there for a couple of seconds before heading back upstairs.
"DAMN IT!" I yelled, hitting the steering wheel. Why the hell did he have to kiss me? Why did I have to kiss him back? And why did it feel so right being back in his arms again…I don't want to think about this right now. I put the car in gear and started home.
"Rachel!" I yelled, walking into the house. I walked upstairs to see her lying on the bed with a pint of ice cream watching the latest episode of The Bad Girls Club. She jumped up when she saw me and turned off the television.
"Jesus you scared me! Make a little noise would ya?" she exclaimed.
"I did make noise, but you were too involved in your TV show. Don't think I didn't see what you were watching. How can you watch that trash anyway?" I asked.
"Oh please, you know you've found yourself watching it from time to time. I mean let's face it, if you don't make it in the fashion biz then you'll probably end up on the show anyway. I can see it now: The Bad Girls Club: Tree Hill." She said, laughing.
"Well thanks for the vote of confidence and as much as I would like to verbally spar with you, I have something to tell you." I stated.
"Ooo intrigue! Good or bad?" she asked, getting comfortable in her bed once again.
"I'm not sure really…both maybe?" I said hesitantly. I'm not really sure where this whole Lucas thing would fall under. All of the above?
"Well spit it out."
"So I went over to Haley's tonight and we had a pretty intense conversation. Well first Haley told me some really amazing news but that can wait, then we finally got a chance to talk about Lucas. I told her everything about what happened with him and Peyton and she said some interesting things to me…" I told Rachel everything that Haley had talked to me about, everything except for the possibility of Naley babies of course.
"Well I never thought that I would agree with Haley, but she's right. We both have told you the same thing now, how many people will it take for you to realize that breaking up with Lucas, was the wrong thing to do." She said frustration in her voice.
"Are you going to let me finish?" I asked annoyed. She crossed her arms, waiting for me to continue. "As I was saying, after we talked I started to think about what both of you had said, and that maybe you both were right. I mean I shouldn't have given up so easy, but I admit that I did it out of fear; not because my feelings for Lucas were no longer there. So as I was sitting there thinking all of this, guess who walks in? That's right. Lucas. He and Nathan came in looking all hot and sweaty and every thought just went flying out the window."
"Well I can understand that. I have seen Lucas all sweaty and well damn! Boy is fine!" she laughed, fanning herself a little bit. I gave her a pointed look. "Sorry continue."
"Well then my instincts took over. I put up my walls and locked away all my emotions." I continued.
"So basically you were a bitch?" she smirked.
"It's just easier that way. You of all people should understand that." I said, raising an eyebrow at her. "But anyway, so I was on my way to my car and Lucas followed me out and…he kissed me!" I said quickly. Rachel's eyes went wide, I don't think she saw that one coming, and there was more. "And... I kissed back."
"You've been home 10 minutes and you're just now telling me this?" she shrieked.
"Oh stop with the dramatics, I'm telling you now. Can we please focus on the problem here? He kissed me and I kissed back!" I exclaimed, falling back on my bed, looking up at the ceiling.
"Well, I have to admit, making out with Lucas is not exactly something you do if you were confident about your break-up. So how was it? The kiss that is."
"Rachel…." I started,
"Don't even try it. Tell me. How was it?" she pushed. How could I explain how I felt about the kiss when I didn't really know myself? I mean yes, it felt amazing to be in his arms again but one moment of lapsed judgment doesn't erase everything that's happened.
"Honestly? It was amazing. The way he grabbed and kissed me…I felt so loved and safe….and as soon as he let me go, that feeling was gone…" I explained. "I don't know what I'm gonna do Rachel. My heart tells me to let it all go, and just be happy with him. But then my head is yelling at me to just quit before I get my heartbroken again. I don't need all this stress right now; I've been feeling sick for weeks, all this stress can't be good for me. My period is even late, which never happens." Rachel's head snapped up at that.
"You're late? Like late late?" she asked. What was she freaking out about?
"Yes, late. I've been really stressed lately. Are you hard of hearing?" I laughed.
"No smart ass, but you are late and you've been complaining of being nauseous for the last couple of days." She explained.
"Yea…so?" I said, raising an eyebrow. She crossed her arms and just looked at me. I had no idea what she was talking about. So what if I was late? With everything that's been going on lately, it's hardly surprising. I mean why else would I be late? Unless….no. No. No. No. I can't be. I suddenly felt very hot and like I was suffocating. I think I am hyperventilating. My vision blurred as tears formed in my eyes.
"Brooke, Brooke!" she yelled, coming to sit down next to me. "Hey relax its okay. Calm down." She wrapped her arms around me and rubbed my back. I was shaking so bad at this point. I tried to calm down, but it wasn't happening.
"R-Rachel, I-I can't b-be-pregnant." I cried. "I'm only 18! I'm still in high school! Oh God!" I started crying hysterically then. Rachel continued rubbing my back and whispering soothing words. The more I thought about it the harder I cried. Lucas and I were always careful; the walking billboard for safe sex. I'm on the pill and we always used….shit! That weekend at the cabin, we were so wrapped up in each other…but I was still on the pill! I can't believe this is happening! What if I am pregnant? What will I do then? I think back to last year when I thought that I was pregnant. Lucas and I had just broken up and when I told him, he promised that he would be there for me and be nothing like Dan. If I am pregnant this time, does that offer still stand? Who am I kidding? Lucas will always do what he is supposed to do, of course he will be there for me and the baby. Oh my god! The baby? I'm not even sure I'm pregnant yet, I shouldn't be thinking about it as anything right now. The tears have slowed down and my breathing has somewhat evened. I pulled away from Rachel and wiped my face.
"Brooke, listen to me. I know you're freaking out right now, but we need to take this one step at a time. The first thing we need to do is get you a test. You might not even pregnant. So that's first, and we'll take it from there." She said to comfort me. Wow anybody else get the feeling of déjà vu?
"Yea, yea you're right. There's no need to freak out completely just yet. I guess I can go to the doctor with Haley, when she goes to take her test." I said out loud, more to myself than to Rachel. Of course she heard me and I cringed when she realized what I said.
"Wait, why is Haley going to the doctor?" she asked, confused. I looked down at my eyes, avoiding eye contact. She took my hesitation as a conformation. "OH MY GOD!" she yelled, jumping up from the bed. "Is Haley pregnant?"
"Rachel please don't say anything, I wasn't even supposed to say anything." I pleaded. "Besides she doesn't even know for sure yet, hence the doctor visit."
"What is with the girls in Tree Hill?" she laughed, shaking her head, "There can't be one pregnant girl, there has to be two of them and one of them is already married. Crazy!"
"I'm glad we can feature in your small town soap opera, but right now is not the time for jokes." I snapped.
"Don't take your anger out on me whore. I'm not the one who got you pregnant." She countered. I suddenly felt guilty.
"I know, I'm sorry, I shouldn't be snapping at you." I said softly, "I just-"
"It's okay. I'll let it slide this time." She smirked. I smiled in thanks, and got up and went towards the bathroom. I looked in the mirror, and I don't know what I was expecting to see. I inspected myself carefully from my head all the way the way down. I couldn't see anything out of the ordinary though. I placed my hand on my stomach and turned to the side. Of course there was nothing, still flat. I began to wonder what I would look like with a baby bump; pregnant, with a child. Lucas's child. A small smile graced my lips at the possibility.
The rest of the week passes painfully slow and by Friday, I was ready for the weekend. I had successfully avoided talking to Lucas all week, and that was not easy. All week I made it my priority to keep my mind occupied on other things, anything other than my little situation. But I couldn't avoid it anymore; Haley had her doctor's appointment today and I decided that I would suck it up and find out if I was going to be someone's mother. I hadn't told anyone about my suspicions, so I couldn't exactly talk to anyone about it. When lunch came, I was so nervous that I could barely eat.
"So everybody ready for tonight?" Nathan asked excitedly. I looked over at him and laughed, that man needs some serious peer interaction.
"Of course we are Hot Shot. Rachel and I went shopping earlier this week" I said with a smile. I looked down at my food, playing with it-rather than actually eating it.
"You okay Tigger? You aren't eating anything." Haley asked. I gave her what I hoped was a convincing smile and shook my head.
"I'm fine Hales, just not really hungry." I replied. Everyone continued on with their conversations which left me with my thoughts. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn't hear someone call my name. I looked up to see who was calling me, instantly regretting it.
"What?" I asked.
"I just wanted to know if it would be a problem if I came tonight?" she asked softly. I cocked my head to the side and widened my eyes in mock confusion.
"Why would that be a problem Peyton? Did something happen that would keep you from wanting you to come?" I asked, condescendingly. She looked down at her hands uncomfortably.
"Brooke…please let's not do this here…" she pleaded.
"I'm what? Everyone stop what they're doing, Peyton was just about to tell us what we shouldn't be doing" I said, my voice raising in volume, making sure the entire table heard me. I hear everybody's conversation die out and turn to look at me. "Please continue."
"Really Brooke? Is this how it's going to be?" she snapped, crossing her arms in anger. The entire table at this point was staring at us with scared looks in their eyes.
"How exactly did you expect it to be Peyton?" I snapped back. This whole innocent role she's playing is really starting to piss me off. She knows what she did and she knows exactly why I am mad at her. Peyton just glared at me, anger rolling off her. Well that makes two of us sister. "I'm sorry I didn't hear you. Can I buy a vowel Vanna?"
"You know what never mind," she said getting up from the table, "If this is how you want to play it fine. I'm done trying."
"I have to say it's about time. It's starting to get a little pathetic don't ya think?" With that she stomped away, leaving the rest of us staring after her. Everyone turned to look at me then, looking for an explanation. I looked over at Haley to help me out here.
"Okay…well…Brooke, remember we have that thing to do. So we should-"she stuttered gesturing towards the parking lot. Smooth Hales.
"Let's go!" I replied a little too enthusiastically. I started getting up from the table and looked over at Rachel. "I'll see you at home."
"Yea, call if you need anything." She said giving me a pointed look. I smiled at her and walked over to Haley.
"Ready Tutor Wife?" I asked.
"Yea, let's go." She said leaning over and giving Nathan a quick kiss. We made our way to the car both of us falling into a nervous silence. Halfway to the hospital, I figured now would be the best time to tell Haley that she is not the only one about to find out of her life is about to change.
"Um Hales…" I whispered. She turned to look at me. I could tell that I had pulled her from what I'm sure was a very hectic train of thought.
"Okay now I know that you're already nervous about today but I need to tell you something." I started, she just continued to stare at me. "Okay…well let me just say this. You won't be the only one finding out whether or not there is a bun in the oven today." Her eyes widened in shock and I heard her take in a huge breath.
"Brooke please tell me you're kidding." She pleaded.
"I wish I was. Trust me."
"Explain."
"Well after you told me that you might be pregnant, I went home and Rachel and I were talking and she mentioned that I had been feeling sick for a while and well you do the math. I'm a couple of weeks late and at first I blamed it on stress, a lot of things have happened in the last couple of months. But once Rachel put the idea in my head it just grew and well after a well-deserved freak out, I decided that the best thing to do was just take the damn test."
"Oh Brooke, I-I don't know what to say…" she whispered softly.
"Well you don't have to say anything, not yet at least. I'm just glad that you are here with me, I couldn't do this without you." I said softly. She reached over and squeezed my hand.
"Me too."
Sitting in the waiting room was complete torture. Both Haley and I were sitting there bouncing up and down in the chairs in pure terror. The doctor told us that it would be about an hour before the results came in so we had nothing to do but sit there and just wait. And wait…and wait…I don't think time has ever passed so slowly. I looked up at the clock and was disappointed to find that it was only minutes later than when I last checked. I tried to think of something to distract Haley and I but before I could I heard her say my name.
"Yea?"
"Look I know this is none of my business but I was just wondering if you thought about what you are going to do if you are…you know pregnant." she asked softly.
"To be honest, no not really, I mean after the initial shock of the possibility that I could be pregnant, I was too scared to really think about it." I explained.
"Yea I understand." She said nodding.
"You know what's funny?" I thought aloud, "when you told me that you thought you were pregnant I was so scared for you. I couldn't imagine what you were going through and how terrified you must be. I felt so bad for you, even pitied what you were going through. Then not even hours later, my oh so subtle roommate, points out that I might be pregnant as well, and I suddenly forgot everything that I had told you."
"It's easier to give the advice when it's not you going through it huh?" she said with a small laugh. I laughed bitterly thinking about it.
"It's ironic isn't it? Only something like this would happen to us. Give advice to a friend, and suddenly you are put in the exact same position." Haley and I both started laughing at the situation that we've found ourselves in. Our laughter was interrupted when a nurse called out our names. I looked over at Haley, both of us sobering up quickly. We stood up and I grabbed her hand and we walked back towards the doctor's office.
*shielding myself from things being thrown* Now don't be mad at me, but I stopped it here for a reason. The next chapter is going to be worth the wait. I plan on giving you guys a really long update to make up for this short chapter. I know things kind of seemed to happen kinda fast but just bare with me, everything is going to fall into place. So pleeeaseeee review! It helps me write faster! lol:)
~Kaylin