Chapter Four

A Dangerous Longing

Before – 1943

Tom did not enjoy having these thoughts about Alina. She should be the one to always have him on her mind, not the other way around. Tom found himself obsessing over her all the time. Constantly. In the dining hall, in the Slytherin common room, during classes, in the library, where he would be looking up yet another dark incantation that none of the teachers would ever dare teach him, everywhere. She plagued his mind and he hated it. That did not stop him from catching her mid-way to class and putting his hand around her waist and kissing her behind a suit of armour where no one would see them. Or from spelling a message in her textbooks asking her to meet him by their willow tree.

That was where they were now with their backs pressed against the rough bark. Alina was tucked under Tom's arm as they watched the Giant Squid break the Lake's surface and disappear again. Tom made it a conscious choice to touch Alina as often as possible. He tried to reason with himself that he was doing it so that she would become used to his touch. If she got more intimate with him and entwined herself completely to him, Tom was sure that over time she would begin to see things his way. He wanted her in his plans, he yearned for a companion who would purify the world and rid it of undesirable and unworthy people. He knew she was not there yet, but over time he could make her see his way. She had to.

Tom touched Alina's silky white-blonde hair and his gut clenched. Longing pressed down on him hard. Longing for the affection he wanted Alina to bestow upon him and also longing for him to not be affected by her. Alina lived in a dream. A fucking dream if she thought she could rule him. And yet, he ached for her incredibly. He wanted Alina to look at him the way she had looked at Chen, or at any of her many other friends at the school. She paid attention to her friends, and sure she paid attention to Tom too, but he wanted more. He wanted her to look at him as if he held her sole attention, as if he was the centre of her universe. He wanted to be her dream; he wanted to be her nightmare. Tom suppressed a forbidding smile from creeping across his face. He would win; he always won. Alina would be his. The emotion soured in his mouth like bitter rust and he had to swallow several times before composing himself.

Alina watching rapidly as Tom's large Adam's apple bobbed up and down. She felt like he was about to say something, his thoughts were as loud as words, but he remained silent.

Present Day

That morning when Alina get out from under her blankets and got ready for the new day, she bid her room farewell, as this was the first day of the new school term at Hogwarts. She had her usual nauseous feeling that bubbled up at the back of her throat when she woke up, but she'd be lying if she said that it was not partly due to nerves. Was she ready yet to be around other people? She didn't think so.

She rendezvoused with Dumbledore in the Great Hall. He introduced her to the other professors who had already arrived. They sat at a gigantic dark wood table that faced the rest of the all horizontally. Alina's mind spun with their names. McGonagall, Snape, Flickwit, Hooch.

This is too much, Alina thought dizzyingly.

Dumbledore took her towards a small anti-chamber after their meal to tell her the protocol for the Sorting Ceremony. Alina was to go last after the First-year students were sorted and she was to join the Sixth-year class. Dumbledore's reasoning for putting her in the year below her age group was due to the fact that they did not know her magical history or education. She'd either be too advanced for that year, or too far behind, which in any case would be some special conditions concerning her in terms of her schooling. Alina was secretly pleased; she did not want to join the eleven year olds in the beginner classes. Dumbledore handed her a few personal items that he said the Ministry had found in the cottage where she had been living. Alina wanted to ask more about the abode and about the old blind man she had been living with, but Dumbledore said there was not enough time now to answer all her questions, especially since he did not know for certain the answers himself. Alina agreed reluctantly and took from him her belongings, new schoolbooks and accessories, and her wand; willow, unicorn hair, twelve inches. Dumbledore even informed her of her new name.

"As the Ministry, nor I, have determined your real identity, Alina, I thought it fitting that your last name be Doe, for the time being. If you don't object, of course. You have the freedom to choose your own name." Dumbledore spoke to her softly.

"Alina Doe is fine," Alina said despondently and then added hastily, "Thank you, sir." Dumbledore's lips twitched with a small smile at her politeness again.

They were interrupted by the appearance of yet another Hogwarts professor entering the school for the new term. Alina moved to the back and tuned out while greetings were made. It sounded like the new arrival had not been at the school for a long time as they remarked on the hall and the other professors he recognised. Finally, it was time for Alina to say hello as Dumbledore led the teacher to where she was hiding.

The new professor wore a brilliant deep purple suit, which strained to hold back his pudgy weight. The large brass buttons were in danger of popping out. His hair was grey and shabby, the lines around his face indicated his elderly age. However, there was an air of sophistication around him that Alina recognised. She got ready to remove her hand from behind her back to shake his own. She was not ready for the look of absolute horror on his face when he saw her.

"What is this Dumbledore? Some sort of trick!" The man sputtered out in outrage; his face and neck getting redder and redder by the second.

"I assure you Horace, there is no trick at play here. Horace, I would like you to meet one of our new students, Miss Alina Doe. She has a terrible bout of memory loss and I am sure we will all try our best to make her feel as welcome as possible." Dumbledore had the scrupulous ability to placate any tense situation. He turned to Alina and explained, "I am terribly sorry, my dear, but it appears that you remind Professor Slughorn here of someone he knew a long long time ago. Don't be alarmed by it, perhaps she was your relative."

"Who was she?" Alina wondered, needing more answers.

"Now is not the time to discuss it, but I promise you I will," Dumbledore responded. "We have a couple of hours until Hogwarts reopens for another school year. Why don't you have a wonder and relax before meeting me back here at five o'clock?"

Alina agreed, and with a side-glance at Professor Slughorn, who was still recovering from their encounter, she departed the Great Hall and prepared herself for what was to come. Alina wondered what other secrets Dumbledore had been keeping from her.

Alina listened stonily at the sounds of the influx of students now entering the castle. She was hidden away in a side anti-chamber that Dumbledore showed her earlier and would come out when the Sorting Ceremony was to occur. Nerves exploded in her gut as she realised that she would have to walk into the hall and be sorted in front of the whole school. She never doubted she was a witch, so she was not afraid of being rejected as one. Yet, the thought of entering alone after the First-years were sorted, while the entire school watched her, sent anxiety trembling through her limbs.

The minutes passed by quickly and soon Professor McGonagall was tapping on the chamber's door to lead Alina into the room. Rat-a-tat-tat. Alina was able to catch the tail end of the First-years being sorted. It did not matter which house each student was sorted into, each table representing that house cheered and whooped for him or her. Alina hoped she would be greeted in such a welcoming way as well. McGonagall addressing the rest of the school interrupted her thoughts.

"Well done to all the First-years who have been sorted. Hogwarts hopes that your new house will treat you as a new member of their family." Alina wondered what family would feel like. "Now, we have a special new student with us who will be joining Hogwarts as a Sixth-year student. Alina Doe, will you please be seated for the Sorting Ceremony?" Alina felt her heart in her mouth as she ascended the short flight of steps to sit on singular wooden stool. The crowd of staff and students murmured amongst themselves before hushing when the professor placed the sorting hat on Alina's head.

There was a long pause and then –

"SLYTHER-CLAW!" The Sorting Hat bellowed. The Slytherin table had already begun clapping but it died out when confusion broke out across the hall. "SLYTHERIN AND RAVENCLAW!" The hat amended after some prodding from McGonagall.

"That's impossible! The hat has to choose one!" Someone yelled from Slytherin's table. Alina looked up at the teacher's table towards the front of the room and met Dumbledore's eye. He looked… satisfied, as if she had just answered a question of his.

After the debacle during the Sorting Ceremony, it was decided amongst the teachers that they had to abide by the Sorting Hat's decision. Therefore, Alina was to split her time between the two houses. She moved into Ravenclaw Tower that night, but it was made clear to her that after the Christmas Break, she would be moving into the Slytherin dungeons. Apparently, this was the first time in Hogwarts history that a student had been sorted in two houses. Everyone had wanted to know if the hat had said anything to Alina when it was on her head, but she would not speak a word. She hardly said anything during dinner to her new Ravenclaw family, or on the way to the tower, or in the dorms to the other girls she shared a room with.

It was now just after breakfast the next day when Alina was handed her class schedule. The entire experience felt surreal. She wondered if this really was such a good idea after all. She longed for the cottage in Scotland. Life was a lot easier there it seemed… well from what small amount she remembered of that life.

Alina was walking along a corridor that would apparently lead her to her first lesson, Transfiguration, but she was typically lost. Her head was down when she bumped into someone. Her books went flying.

"Are you alright?" A kind female voice asked, whilst a lanky boy with ginger hair helped pick up Alina's books and handed them back to her.

"Yes. Thank you," Alina replied quietly, her voice soft from disuse. Alina took in the three figures before her. The girl who had spoken was pretty with bushy brown hair and straight white teeth. The girl held her hand out.

"My name is Hermione Granger, Gryffindor. It's nice to meet you. You're Alina Doe aren't you?"

"Alina Doe? What kind of name is that? Doesn't sound magical to me." A boy with pale blonde hair, so like Alina's, and a pointed face sneered. "You must be a mud blood like Granger here."

In an instant, Alina snapped her fingers together and pointed them at Draco Malfoy. The sallow blonde boy clutched at his throat as it began to close up. Choking sounds were coughing themselves out of his windpipe.

"Don't you dare call me that again. Where is your respect, boy?" Alina's voice went lower, turned disdainful, her eyes flashed red. Hermione shook her arm to stop Alina even though Hermione secretly thought Malfoy deserved it. However, there was something… off about Alina at this moment. Something different about the sweet girl she had been talking to that Hermione did not like or understand. Where had this dark power of Alina's come from? Hermione froze as the realisation dawned that Alina was using wandless magic; only truly advanced and skilled witches and wizard could accomplish such an amazing feat.

Alina's concentration broke and she snapped out of it. She released Malfoy much to his relief. Her hands shook. She was unsure where that kind of magic had come from and she was disturbed at how good it felt to use it. Her heart palpitated and her breathing was shallow. It was like coming down from a glorious high. Her ears were ringing too, it sounded like a high-pitched laughter had filled them.

"Excuse me." Alina fled.

"Just you wait till my father hears about this!" Malfoy tried to yell after her, but ending up coughing instead.

"Shut up, you git," Ron Weasley retorted.

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