As with previous chapters, you can read this as is, or go to the other site for the PWP version which now includes Chapters 6, 7 and 8)

I remember exactly when I first admitted to myself that, despite all those promises to myself, I had fallen in love with Charles. I'd come out of the shower on the morning we were due to drive back to the 4077th, and he was fast asleep, his head cradled on one arm, and a sweet, almost childlike smile on his face. He was probably dreaming of home, I guessed, and it pained me to wake him. That was when I realized that things had gotten complicated.

Or at least, my feelings had. I wasn't going to kid myself that Charles loved me and even if he did, a Winchester would never marry a girl like me. Much as he enjoyed our adventures in the sack, it wasn't really supposed to be something that 'nice girls' did, was it? And Charles, I was sure, would be expected to marry a 'nice girl'.

So I kept my feelings to myself, not wanting to scare him off of seeing me, and once we were back at the 4077th, we returned to the same routine: blood, guts, bandages, drips, bad coffee, great sex, not necessarily in that order.

Until one morning I woke up with a terrible pain in my gut. I threw up, and the pain eased some, but over the next few days it returned as the most atrocious case of heartburn I'd ever had. I felt sick when I ate – not that that was new where the 4077th food was concerned, and I worried that I might be pregnant, but my period arrived on schedule, thank God. The indigestion kind of came and went, and I kept making guesses about why – the terrible food, perhaps, or a virus of some kind. Like all the doctors I know, I make a lousy patient, so I didn't mention it to anyone else, not even Charles. But when I dropped a glass of brandy on the OC bar and doubled up holding my stomach, I couldn't really disguise the fact that I was in agony. And as I was flanked and outranked by two doctors, the Colonel on one side, and Charles on the other, I couldn't argue when they each grabbed an arm and helped me across the compound to the hospital.

The Colonel quizzed me while he busied himself setting up the X-Ray equipment, and Charles started checking me over – totally professionally this time, except for one moment when he stood between me and the Colonel's line of sight and mouthed "Are you pregnant?"

I shook my head. "No. It's not that."

He looked relieved, as well he might, and gave me a sheepish smile that made my heart do a little flip. Good thing he wasn't taking my pulse at the time.

Anyways, they did the X-Rays and followed up with some blood tests and stuff, and after a couple days the results came back: I had a duodenal ulcer.

While it wasn't the automatic medical discharge it once would have been, it was certainly the end of my time at the 4077th.

"Congratulations," said the Colonel, when he called me into his office to tell me the news, "You're on your way back to Tokyo. They'll be able to sort you out just fine, and before you know it, you'll be well enough to get posted to another unit." He gave me a wink. "So if you've got any sense, and I'm sure you have, don't keep taking the tablets!"

It was all meant kindly, bless him, but all I could think of was that I wouldn't see Charles again.

"I... uh... would I be able to come back here again, sir? When I'm fit again, I mean?" I asked. I was trying to think up a good reason why I would want to, but the Colonel didn't appear to notice. "Be glad to have you," he said, "But between the brass and the bureaucracy, it doesn't usually work like that. You get yourself better, if you really want to get back into this stupid war, and we'll see what happens. The important thing now is getting you to Tokyo, pronto." He looked over my shoulder and yelled; "Klinger!"

"You bellowed, sir?" said the sergeant, as he came through the door.

"That helicopter here yet?"

"No sir, but it shouldn't be too much longer," said Klinger, "They told me half-an-hour, and that was forty minutes ago."

"Well, get on the blower, see where it's got to." Dismissing the sergeant, Potter returned his attention to me. "Got you a ride to the 121st evac, you can catch a flight to Tokyo from there tomorrow morning," he said, and smiled. "You'd better go get your things together!"

"Yes sir. I mean... thank you, sir." I was stunned by the suddenness of it all. I wasn't even sure where Charles was at that moment, let alone whether I could sneak five minutes alone with him to say goodbye.

The Colonel came around the desk and patted me on the shoulder, said something about me being missed, but I wasn't really listening. As I passed through the outer office, Klinger, without even pausing in his phone conversation, handed me a sheet of paper. It was that day's duty roster, and it showed that Charles would be in the Lab doing some blood tests. I gave Klinger a hug, and he gave me a knowing smirk and presented his cheek for a kiss. I obliged, and went straight to the Lab.

Charles was peering into a microscope and didn't even glance up at first.

"Did you know the results came through?" I said, going over to him and leaning on the counter top beside him. "It's confirmed. My ulcer, I mean. I have to go back to Tokyo."

He looked up, met my gaze with those beautiful sky-blue eyes, and gave me a sad little smile. "How I do envy you," he said. "I'd give..." there was the briefest hesitation "...almost anything to get back to civilization." His smile reached his eyes as he added: "You'll have to leave me your diet sheet, I'm obviously not eating badly enough." With a quick glance around to make sure there was no-one else nearby, he gave me a swift kiss and said, "We should celebrate your good fortune in style before you leave. I have a bottle of..."

He stopped when I rested my fingers over his mouth. "We don't have time," I said, not quite succeeding in keeping the emotional tremor out of my voice, "The Colonel's got a chopper on the way to take me to the 121st. I... I have to go pack."

"Now?" Charles looked astonished and, I like to think, a little upset. "Oh. Well, isn't that just like the Colonel, always looking out for his staff's best interests."

I wasn't sure whether he was being sarcastic or sincere. Perhaps it was both. In any case I could think of nothing else to say except, "I'll miss you."

"And I will miss you too," he said. He kissed my hand, then my cheek, finally my lips, and for an all-too-brief moment I clung to him, wanting to stay there in his arms, wanting him not to let me go.

But it was me who broke the kiss and backed away, scared of what I was feeling for him, afraid that if I didn't leave right then I never would. "I have to go," I managed; then I was out the door.

-

I was surprised by how many of the 4077th had found their way to the chopper pad to see me off. After I'd handed my bags to the pilot, I turned to get hugs from the Colonel, BJ, Kellye and the nurses from my watch, even Hawkeye. But it wasn't till I climbed into the helicopter that Charles appeared. Ducking under the down-draft from the blades, he handed me a leather-bound book, gave me another quick kiss on the cheek, and stepped away. I couldn't see what the title of the book was, my vision was blurred, so I waved and said "Thank you" and then, in a moment of sheer 'now or never' recklessness, I shouted "I think I love you!"

And over the noise of the helicopter engine I heard him call back, "And I'll think of you too!"

-

We were halfway to the 121st before I could see straight enough to see the book he'd given me. It was a volume of poetry, Rupert Brooke to be exact. One of my favorites, though I hadn't expected Charles to remember that.

On the flyleaf, he'd written a brief quote from one of Oscar Wilde's plays, and a message: 'Emma 'Men can be analyzed, women... merely adored'. If ever you're in Boston, look me up.'

And do you know... maybe I will.