DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING MORTAL INSTRUMENTS RELATED.

JACE

Jace was packing a few clothes and shoes into a small black duffel bag when someone knocked on his door.

"Come in," he said, distractedly. He only packed three pairs of jeans and shirts; he didn't expect to be gone that long.

He heard the door open, but he didn't hear any footsteps. He looked up to see who it was and saw Magnus standing at the door with his arms crossed.

Magnus raised an eyebrow and said, "Why are you so...giddy? You're practically glowing." He made a face of mock astonishment. "You're not pregnant are you? How tragic," he exclaimed as he walked over to his bed and flopped down. "A baby on the way and your lover has left you!"

Jace stopped what he was doing, which was tugging on a black leather jacket. "Ha ha. You are hilarious." He rolled his eyes. "And Jace Lightwood is never 'giddy'," he said with disgust. He mentally shuddered at the thought of himself being giddy. It sounded like he would be frolicking around the room just dilly-dallying...whatever that meant.

"I'm assuming you're not here to admire my handsome ruggedness, so what do you want?" Jace asked as he zipped the duffel bag up.

Magnus sat up and was staring at him curiously. "I didn't think you would be here, honestly, since this is usually the time you escape to indulge in your vices, and you're not rugged."

"You can't deny that I am handsome, though," Jace pointed out with a smirk. It'd been a while since he had spoken with any real conviction. He liked it. He decided to ignore the first part that Magnus said. "What do you want?" he repeated.

"I was just checking in on you since you were so wasted last night," Magnus answered warily. It crossed Jace's mind that it was probably Magnus who had dumped him in his room, then.

"Well, I'm good, safe, and sober," he responded. He left the room to go into the bathroom and grab his other necessities. When he came back in Magnus had already opened his duffel bag and was prying through Jace's things. "Where did you guys go?"

"I think the better question is where are you going?" Magnus asked as he pulled out Clary's journal. Jace snatched it out of Magnus' hands before he could even read the title. He put it under his arm so that Magnus wouldn't be able to see any of it.

"I didn't know you kept a journal."

"It's not mine."

Magnus rolled his eyes and sighed exasperatedly. "Fine, whatever, that doesn't matter. So tell me, where are you going?"

Jace put the journal back into the bag and then put it over his shoulder. He smiled widely. "I know where Clary is."

Magnus stared at him incredulously. "You know where our little red head went?"

Jace walked out of his room, Magnus following him, and walked down the stairs to where Alec and Isabelle were in the living room.

They both stared at Jace in shock.

"Oh, hey you're here," Isabelle said a bit warily, like she was scared, kind of. Had Jace really been that bad those past two weeks? That they expected him to be gone?

"Yeah," he sat down in the couch opposite them. "I have something to tell you guys."

"He's found Clary and he's going to go get her," Magnus announced as he sat next to Alec.

"I think you missed the part where I said I had something to tell them," Jace pointed out. Alec's eyes widened and Isabelle looked a little...apprehensive? Jace was expecting a much more enthusiastic reaction, but they just stayed quiet and eyed him warily. "You know, it worries me that you guys haven't been concerned about Clary's whereabouts these past couple weeks."

Isabelle quickly glanced from his duffel bag and then back to his eyes and said, "Of course we worried about her! But..." she looked down at her hands.

She looked guilty and Jace had no idea why. Maybe she really did hate Clary. It's not like Isabelle was very accepting of Clary when they first met. Isabelle was hostile and tried time after time to tell Clary that they weren't good for each other. And maybe she was right. No, Jace thought, I've made mistakes, but we belong together. But maybe Clary was too good for him and he didn't deserve her. Wait, no. If he could just explain.

Trying to get away from his thoughts, he prodded, "But what? If you're going to say that you're glad she left then I don't want to hear it."

"Jace, you know none of us would ever think that," Alec reasoned.

Magnus nodded in assent and ran a hand through his clean hair like he was tired.

Isabelle finally looked up in annoyance and then resolutely said, "It's not that. She texted us last night saying she was fine and to not worry." For a second she looked shocked at what she had just said, but then sighed. "She said she didn't know when she'd be back from Washington DC," again she looked like she had done something wrong, but at least now he knew he was going to the right place,"but she was probably going to miss this semester of school and when she came back she was going back to live with her mom."

"I would've liked to have been informed of this text," Magnus quipped, with only slight annoyance in his voice.

Jace sat quietly, feeling like he had been punched in the gut, but one look at his eyes would've immediately given away that he was fuming. His mouth set in a straight line.

Ignoring Magnus and the second part of what Isabelle said – he didn't want to think of that – he exclaimed, "It is now 9 pm, an entire day since she said that and you are just now telling me this?" He stood up hastily and shook his head, as though the sight of the people sitting in front of him repulsed him. "I don't have time for this. I have to get up early tomorrow so I'm going to sleep. Don't bother waking me, unless Clary decides to chat you up again." Isabelle rolled her eyes and muttered, "Drama queen," thinking Jace couldn't hear it, but he did.

With his duffel bag left on the floor near the edge of the sofa, Jace trudged upstairs, anger and frustration coursing through him. Why didn't they tell him before? Then maybe he wouldn't have to go after her. Maybe he could have talked to her and told her that he loved her and he needed her back. Not want. Want would imply that their relationship was based on lust and superficiality, and it was much more than that. Jace needed her, like he needed oxygen, or sunlight, or his heart to live. And Clary was just that: she lived in his heart, she completely owned him, and he would do anything for her, so long as she came back to him.

[]D [] []V[] []D

Later that night, after Jace had unsuccessfully tried to fall asleep, he walked back downstairs barefoot with only his pajama bottoms on. He couldn't fall asleep. He didn't know what he would do as soon as he got to Washington DC, where would he start? And what worried him most was what he would do if – when he found Clary.

He sat on the sofa and reached into his bag and took out Clary's journal. He hadn't read anymore after that first entry, even though he was dying to know who Simon was, for he had begun to plan out his journey to find Clary. A very unorganized, mostly make up on the way type of plan.

He looked at the cover again and touched the title of the journal with his fingertips, almost as though he could feel when Clary had written them. He sighed and opened the journal to where he had left off.

September 28, 2007

Could I have been any more stupid? I'm so mad right now. At myself!

I was with Jace again at that coffee shop, this time I had called him to meet up there because I'm transferring to his school, St. Xavier. And no, before you start, it's not because of him. I was actually already starting the process of transferring except I need to get my vaccinations and I'm not allowed to go in until Monday.

He told me he went there with his siblings and that he'd make sure that I would fit in quickly and I thought that was really nice of him so I called him so that we could talk about what classes I could take. I'm so stupid. He'd been so nice to me, of course with the occasional – more like every sentence was laced with – cockiness. We texted almost every day, just to talk and I was really starting to like him like him. Wow, that sounded very childish. But I'm stupid.

I was sitting down already when he got there. I had already ordered his drink, an iced mocha cappuccino. I know, pathetic of me to memorize his favorite drink.

"Hey, beautiful," he greeted with a dangerous smile. Scratch that, he just smiled, and then sat down in front of me at the little table. "What's a fine young thing like you doing here alone?"

I felt the heat start to rush up to my cheeks so I turned away and sipped away at my own cappuccino.

"Actually, I'm not alone," I answered, "I'm waiting for a fine young man to come for me at any moment now." I hid my smile by drinking more of my cappuccino.

He scoffed. When I looked up he had his arms crossed and was looking at me with knowing eyes. Then he smirked and remarked, "You know, I'm starting to get tired of you not properly responding to my advances."

I started to laugh and nearly spilled my cappuccino all over the table and his face via my nose. That would've been embarrassing.

"I've already told you, smart girls like me don't fall for guys like you."

"That's where you're wrong," he pointed out and smiled widely. "I saw you blushing a moment ago. You like me." And then he started to drink his cappuccino like what he had just said was a common thing for him to say. It probably was.

By then my entire face was probably the color of my hair. "You couldn't be more wrong, Jace." More like, you couldn't be more right. I'm so stupid! "Anyway," I said, before he could go off on how it was impossible for him to be undesirable to anyone. "I asked you to come so that we could talk about school."

He groaned and slouched in his chair. "I don't want to talk about school, let's avoid talking about school until you actually get there." Then he leaned forward and looked me straight in the eye with so much intensity that I literally felt like he was trying to put me in a trance or something. He stayed liked that until he finally pulled back, looking like he was satisfied and said in a nonchalant manner, "I want to talk about how much you like me and how I make you feel butterflies in your stomach."

"If you make me feel anything in my stomach it's that feeling you get when you're about to throw up. That's how much you repulse me," I retorted. But I was smiling. That's how it was with us. We can taunt each other, but it's all playing around.

Then his phone started to ring. He took it out of his pocket and with one look at the screen his eyes widened like he was scared.

He quickly answered, "Hey, what's up?" I heard a teeny little voice and then I saw a girl walk in through the door of the cafe.

"Jace!" she practically yelled. Jace turned around and it was like as if he had been slapped. He quickly regained his composure and then stood up and approached her before she could get to us. I was frozen into place.

As I looked at them, I noticed how they were a little too close and the girl was looking at him with such anger. Jace was trying to calm her down. And then I noticed: they were beautiful, both of them. She had long, blonde hair and her eyes were an intense blue. She had sunglasses perched up on her head and was wearing a short mini skirt and a red top, but it didn't look slutty. She looked like a model: really tall, long legs, flawless skin, and just overall beautiful.

I felt inadequate all of the sudden, worthless. How could I ever compare to her? I'm short, I have red hair, it's frizzy, I have a million freckles, and my green eyes aren't even the pretty kind. They were just lifeless. And I know I don't dress like a model. I'm used to my skinny jeans and my graphic t-shirts and black converse. I wore the same style almost everyday. I wasn't anything compared to her.

When it looked like she had finally calmed down, they both walked over to me. I quickly stood up and I felt like a midget. Jace is probably close to 6 feet and the girl was wearing heels so she was close to his height. I barely even reached Jace's chest.

I smiled a little. "Hi," I said.

"Um," Jace said, biting his lip, "This is Kaelie...my girlfriend." Of course she was.

Kaelie stuck out her hand and I shook it, kind of weakly, I'll admit. I was still – in shock, I guess. She smiled, revealing perfect, straight white teeth and then said in a perfect sweet voice, "I'm sorry, I didn't know you were just a friend of Jace's from school. I'm kind of paranoid with him. Clary, right?"

She put her arm around his waist and after a few seconds he put his around her shoulders. They looked like a perfect couple. I don't even know why I even let myself think I might've had a chance with Jace.

"Oh, no, I understand, and yeah, short for Clarissa," I responded. I noticed Jace was silent and kind of tense. He knew all of this was awkward, but in all fairness he was the one flirting with me! He's a player, and I kind of feel bad for Kaelie having to deal with him.

"But we were just talking about school," I said. "That's it," I added, looking at Jace. He nodded. "I have to go now. Nice meeting you Kaelie," I smiled and then turned to walk away.

"Clary, wait!" I heard Jace say from behind me. I stopped and turned around. Kaelie had already occupied my former seat. He stood in front of me, not really looking me in the eyes. "I'm sorry about this, but I'll see you at school Monday, right?"

I nodded stiffly. "Right." And then I turned and left.

I feel so stupid. Of course he has a girlfriend. Why wouldn't he? He's perfect. And she's perfect. They deserve to be with each other. And I'm stupid for even entertaining the thought of me with him.

And I left my cappuccino. Ugh.

[]D[][]V[][]D

Oh, Clary. Jace couldn't stand it anymore. That day had gone horribly, Kaelie calling him saying she saw him with a girl at the cafe, her bursting in and accusing him of cheating, and then finally having to let Clary leave.

He dropped the journal. He didn't know how much more he could read if he was left feeling like that. He took deep breaths. But that entry had only reinforced his decision to go for her.

There was a soft knock at the door. For a second, Jace thought it could be Clary and his heart raced with the thought. Only she would be coming so late, right? Maybe she changed her mind and decided to give him a second chance. He nearly ran to the door and ripped it off the hinges in his haste to open it.

But in front of him was someone he didn't ever want to see again. Not since she was the cause of his problems. Not since she fucking ruined everything.

"Kaelie."

AN: So, I know it's been a long time, but I promised an update in January and so here it is. I'm actually pretty proud of it :D and I can feel my inspiration coming back. I feel good. I hope you guys liked it and that you'll forgive me for my absence. I love you all for your support and insistence :D

Tell me your thoughts, feelings, opinions in a...REVIEW?