The Apple Pie Thesis

Hey! I'm sorry this has taken forever to get updated – I couldn't think of where to go with this... I think there are only going to be another couple of chapters after this too. I'll try to update as soon as I can, but I'm sorry if it takes a while. I seem to have no inspiration for this, but I'll try, until the end. Thanks to anybody reading this, if you're still there. I'll go and hang my head in shame now, because I'm so bad for not doing this story, and then only doing little updates. I promise that the next chapter will be better.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nada. Zilch. Diddley squat. Not a thing.

Chapter 4 – The Big One – Kurt.

Penny walked into her apartment, smiled, and I was left alone in the hallway. As I walked toward the door to my apartment I heard a whirring, and saw the camera moving, the one Howard and Raj gad put up when Penny and I had started dating. I glared at the lens and opened the door. Howard watched me, like a deer caught in the headlights, as Raj slammed the laptop closed. Sheldon straightened up behind them.

"Guys?" I asked cautiously, "What are you doing?"
"Leonard." Sheldon nodded in my direction.
"We were, watching Star Trek?" Howard said, though he made it sound like more of a question than a statement. I knew they were up to something, but if they weren't going to tell me then I wasn't going to press for details. I got a drink and saw that Raj was staring at me.
"What?" he shook his head and looked away.
"So, Friday night, vintage game night. What we got?" I asked. Howard and Raj shared a look, before looking up to Sheldon.
"We don't got." Sheldon told me, making quotation marks with his hands when he said 'got' "We were going to go paintballing." He continued.
"But tonight's vintage game night, we can't go paintballing. We only ever go paintballing on Sundays."
"Well we want to go paintballing. Are you in, or are you out?" he asked, as I nodded.
"I'm in. You know I won't say no to paintballing. Though if you think we're not going on Sunday you're crazier than I already thought you were." I said, watching him pick up his paintball gun. Sheldon seemed to ponder for a moment, before nodding towards me and telling me that it was a deal.

We all headed out the door, with Sheldon at the front, when he stopped in his tracks, creating a domino effect with the three of us behind him, all falling forwards, walking into the one in front. I looked up at him with a quizzical look, but all he could do was point forwards.

I looked ahead and saw Penny's ex stood at her door. The big one – Kurt. I knew that Sheldon was still a little scared of him, after the time we went to go and get Penny's tv, and returned without our pants. That explained why he had stopped so suddenly, but it still didn't answer why he was there.

We all stood there, before we heard a small whisper from Raj. Howard leant forward and relayed the whisper to me, "We still have the camera up. Wanna be, indiscreet?" he asked. I nodded and walked backwards, pulling Sheldon with me.

"What on earth are you doing?" Sheldon asked as soon as we were inside the apartment with the door firmly shut.

"Seeing what Kurt wants." Raj replied simply.

"Well then why don't we just go out there and ask him?" He said. That's the problem with Sheldon – he doesn't seem to understand anything about social interactions and the like.

"Sheldon, we can't go and ask him." He looked at me, even more confused, "There's no way he would tell any of us. The only way we can find out, is with the camera that these guys have installed." I told him, gesturing my thumb in the direction of Howard and Raj, who waved and smiled. He thought again for a moment, using his 'invisible whiteboard', then nodded to me. Raj set up the laptop and opened up the programme that was linked to the webcam.

Just as the image flickered onto the screen, Penny opened her door.

"Kurt!" She exclaimed, shocked – evidently it wasn't a planned visit. He smiled at her, that crooked smile that makes most girls weak at the knees, but according to Sheldon's running commentary of body language, it didn't seem to affect Penny.

"Hey Penny," He said, still smiling that stupid grin. "Are you... busy?" He asked her, glancing behind her into the apartment.

"Uh, actually, I am." She replied, looking at the floor for a moment, before looking back up at him. "I'm about to take a shower."

"Well, can I join you?" He grinned, waggling his eyebrows. Penny looked disgusted for a minute, then her face went hard as stone.

"Kurt. You broke up with me. I've moved on. So no, you can't join me in the shower." She told him, before turning around as she slammed the door in his face.

Kurt stood staring at the door for a minute, his mouth hanging open, before he turned around, muttering to himself.

"But, nobody ever says no. Kurt never gets rejected!" He ranted as he headed down the stairs.

Raj shut down the laptop as we headed back to the door. Sheldon was stood behind me this time, as I had been in a rush to get outside to make sure that there were no signs of Kurt returning. Penny seemed to have the same idea as me, opening her door slightly to look outside. She opened it fully once she saw that the room was empty, with the exception of us, of course.

"Is he gone?" She asked us, still glancing towards the stairway frequently.

"Yeah, he seems to have left the building." I told her. "So uh, what did he want?"

"You mean, you don't know? I thought Howard and Raj had put up a camera out here?" She asked, pointing towards the not-so-discreet camera.

"Oh... Yeah... Well, we did, but what I meant to say is, why did he want that?" I started, but the look on Penny's face helped me realise my mistake, "What I mean, is- I don't mean that I wouldn't want to- I mean I'm not saying I'm going to- I mean... I thought he was over you." I said, stuttering every so often throughout the sentence. I blushed and looked to my feet, but I knew they could see the shade of red my face had turned. Penny giggled a little at me, before she replied.

"So did I, he probably is. He'll just want something from me. Like one time, he did this exact same thing, because he couldn't afford his rent that month." She rolled her eyes, "But hey, I said no. It's cool, Leonard." She smiled at me, before looking back to my friends stood behind me, "Weren't you going somewhere?" I nodded, as I glanced sideways, seeing Howard in my peripherals trying to hurry me up. "Then get to it!" She playfully slapped my arm before grinning it me.

"Um, okay Penny, see you later, I guess." I said, with a small half-wave, as she said bye again. The four of us headed towards to stairwell, and when Penny's door closed I turned to Sheldon, "That was, weird?"

"Oh good, I wasn't sure." He said. I smiled at how oblivious he was to others social interactions, and headed down the stairs.