The Journals of Wisdom, Power, and Courage
Chapter 4: Soos in Giffany Land: A Thoughtful and Equality-Promoting (Not for Cheap Fanservice) Analyzis on rhe Sexual Role Video Games Play in Our Lives and the Comparisons with Dating Real People, Also a Thoughtful Look on How Mechas Can Combine to Make Bigger Mechas and then get Exploded When Hit with a Drill
Beginning AN:
I think I got a little carried away with this chapter. Sorry. Well, I'll admit right now that I'm kind of obsessed with the video game duo of this show. And sort of wish that the fandom put them in more stories.
(Oh, and because of what I'm finding tagged with .GIFfany (I'm either searching the wrong tag or Rumble has zilch on the site I'm going to mention) on Archive of Our Own: I don't count it if the character just makes like a cameo appearance and they're really just backdrop to that ever-creepy Bill shipping. I don't genuinely like at all, so I'm not a hypocrite, but that's happening in here and not Bill/Dipper or Bill/Mabel because at least there was a moment in time where Soos was, you know, genuinely "getting along" with her. And while SBIG screws with canon, I don't even want to ironically trash Bill's character to "make fun" of a pairing by having it happen in a creepy way.
I promise this will be the last time I talk about Billshipping. I'm not even part of the "This is unhealthy and you're being offensive by doing this" group, I just think it's a very glaringly blatant example of pulling fic traits out of practically thin air to glorify a villain and the sheer omnipresense of it when I'm trying to find other things in the fandom is kind of... urgh.)
EDIT: Forgot both Dian's outfit here, and the cryptogram for chapter 5. I figured that Dian's outfit was the more important of the two (I'm joking, it takes much less effort to think of - especially since I already wrote the epilogue of run:gifocalypse as of the time I am editing this, and that was when Dian's "new outfit" was described).
So in Nzyvo's tower, Nzyvo walked in with Rumble and Gideon by her side. Giffany also ran in, and was prostesting.
"WHY DID YOU JOIN THEM RUMBLE I THOUGHT WE DID THINGS TOGETHER! :(" Shouted Giffany.
"Well she talks about punching stuff and I like to punch stuff. Also, that Stan guy killed her father. She told me that."
"Well fine. I'll let you do whatever you want to because you're not leaving me for someone else... although we MUST stay in contact! Such as possibly by phone! Or internet chatting!"
"Will you stop talking for like two seconds?" Asked Nzyvo. "Anyway, I kind of fell asleep/dosed off a little for three hours, and when I woke up suddenly THE MYSTERY SHACKS ARE CLOSER! So you know what? Team! Go after and KILL THEM! All at once! I'll even give you the mechas!"
Rumble, Gideon, Trickster, and Shape Shifter all saluted. "YES MAM!" They all shouted.
So the Shack mech kept going foreward and the Tower Nzyvo was in was now actually visible (the road trip stuff was kind of boring) until HOLY CRAP A BUNCH OF THINGS LEPT DOWN! Mechs! Large mechs! Summerween trickster was in this large mech shaped like a Snickers bar. Shape Shifter's Mech was shaped like a UFO, foreshadowing that he's an alien. Nzyvo was short on mech-making supplies, so Rumble and Gideon had to get Giffany's and the dino's mechs respectively, or rather Gideon's was like the dino's mech 2.0. So that's why Rumble's mech looked like a giant schoolgirl, and Gideon's was a T-rex robot with eight arms and a spider tail.
"Let me go first they froze me those fuckers. :(" Said the shape shifter with an angry Emoticon.
He lept out of his mech for a stupid reason and immediately took the form of a Umanji the Eel from Mario 64 and bit on it. Mabel had a deep fear of that thing so she had to face her fears here like she did with Clayanimation.
Mabel ended up standing on top of Lagann with her eyes closed badassly and her arms folded as she thought to herself. "No! This is a time for growing up! Giga... Drill... Break!"
She then punched the Shifter off and then suddenly the Shagckan Lagann grew a giant drill which was thrown into the Shape Shifter, killing him.
"SHIT!" Shouted Nzyvo, who was watching this. "I need a replacement for the Shape Shifter!"
"I'll do it if you pay me double." Said Giffany. "Being reunited with my beloved Rumble but then losing him as my replacement only made me realize how much I missed him!"
"...Okay first we need to sort things out. So. Um. I first had fired you, I think. So then I got Creepypasta Sonic as a replacement. But then the Pterodactyl died. And I was off to get Rumble as a replacement, while also sending Creepypasta Sonic after to get the team? Uh... then Creepypasta Sonic turned out to be a joke, so I replaced him with Gideon. And now the Shape Shifter, a new variable, is dead, so his slot would be taken by... you? But you already 'had' a slot that... Rumble? is in? No, wait, Gideon? Yeah, I think Gideon's taking your slot and Rumble's taking th dinosaur's. Right? Which means that... it'd make more sense if you took back your own slot, but that would involve firing Gideon and re-hiring him... anyway," she began laughing evilly, "I knew you'd come crawling back to me. So yeah, since the Shape Shifter left his giant mecha, you can go inside of that one."
"Forget about slots! Anyway, sure, I can get into the shape shifter's mech."
She took off flying as Nzyvo watched on evilly. Suddenly, a bunch of Giffany copies zapped into the room, angry.
"HEY!" One of them yelled. "Where's #9! We just realized, she was the first one with her heart after Soos! We want to attack her for getting too close to that guy!"
Nzyvo hrugged. "Ooh, will you guys also go after these Mystery Shack people?"
All of them chanted in unison: "IF THEY GET IN THE WAY OF SOOS AND M!"
Nzyvo laughed again.
"...Okay, we'll have to make a plan." Said Gideon.
"Our mechas can all fuse together, right?" Asked the Trickster.
"Yes, but we need someone to pilot the Shape Shifter's mecha."
"I'M ON IT!"
This was shouted by Giffany, who ran up to and dashed inside of the giant schoolgirl mech. She actually kicked Rumble out of that (remmeber they video game fight all the time like Mario and Peach in Smash Bros (bad example nobody plays as or MArio Peach; um Link and Zelda WAIT THEY'RE ALL FOUR SHIT!)) and into the Shifter's UFO mech, then zipped out and started attacking Soos and tried clawing at him but he dodged so she just ripped off his clothes until he reached under his hat (which was also ripped) and got a gun to shoot her back, then smirked as all four of them began combining! The result... eh, I don't know, just picture something silly looking. And huge, most importantly.
"I'M NOT INTIMATED!" Shouted Mabel. "I'LL JUST GIGA DRILL BREAK AGAIN!"
So she did and went all around the combined giant mech and went up inside. One by one, she broke the Sumemrween Trickster into pieces of candy, then tore a hole in Giffany, then a hole in Rumble. Gideon dodged this by going to the escape pod. Once the Shackan Lagann broke out the back end, the combined mecha just exploded, with Gideon's escape pod visible.
Inside the escape pod, Nzyvo sighed through an electric message to him.
"You left you coward. Now I'm gonna try to kill you."
So then the pod started beeping and a scared Gideon ejected himself and got out a parachute just as the pod also exploded. The wind carried him very far away.
...Okay, you can tell from the tags that Rumble and Giffany will survive, I'll just have them drop down on the deck of the Shack earlier than my original plan of one chapter later. (Which might span a few days so that wouldn't make sense anyway.) Also, the Trickster reformed there, the candy pieces falling and then clumping back together.
"I survived because my coding let me go together, as well as my spooky haunted magic stuff." Said Giffany.
"I actually follow by the exact same rules as her." Said Rimble.
"I'm made of candy what the hell did you expect? I have an excuse for being unkillable." Said the Trickster. "Why the hell are you so hard to kill, Giffany?"
Giffany did a sparkly eye thing. "Because the author loves me."
"Hi there!" Said Dipper. "I guess this makes you prisoners of war!"
"Don't drop the soap." Said stan, remembering his time in prison. Ralax, those were just the rules someone told him. Nothing bad happened to him there.
"Hey I'm gonna get a spare change of clothes." Said Soos. "I feel extremely uncomfortable with Giffany seeing me naked."
"Actually, we don't really like Nzyvo anymore." Said the Trickster. "She sent us a text. She was okay with blowing up Gideon because he ran away from being blown up. But that she liked us sticking with the explosion. We only survived because of our powers... Nzyvo also said that if we wanted to quit because we didn't like how she believed that the only people who shouldn't be killed by her were those that could survive and she'd be fine with that... I don't know. Nzyvo's weird and bloodthirsty. But you guys, you seem warm and fine. I might switch sides."
"Um, what did I say in Weirdmageddon... oh yeah, that's right! I lost something so I'm Humblr McSkirmish now." Said Humble. Actually Fuck calling him that, I'm still going to call him Rumble.
Giffany shrugged. "Fuck Nzyvo and I do want to join Rumble, but don't mean this means I'm good."
"Okay so now I don't feel uncomfortable with you seeing me naked. And it's just you and Bill that I have that problem with, and Bill spies on us all the time anyway, so I'm chill!"
Bill's only appearance in this chapter is him from the Mindscape right behind Soos, only he's covering his eye. He shouted "I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU NAKED THOUGH! BUT YOU DOODLED THAT DAMN COMIC OF ME IN YOUR SHOWERED! NOW WHEN I LOOK INTO MY CRYSTAL BALL TO SEE INTO IMAGES OF MYSELF AS GATEWAYS, I HAVE TO BROWSE CAREFULLY OR I'LL SEE YOUR ASS!"
"HEY!" A crowd was heard shouting. It was the Giffany army! And they had Melody kidnapped and tied in rope!
"HEP ME!" Shouted Melody. "Wait I don't want to be just a dansel."
"I'LL RESCUE YOU MY LADY!" Shouted Rumble as he lept off the Shack Lagann and rushed towards the Giffany army.
Meanwhile, the canon Giffany, Giffany #9, folded her arms while annoyed. "Oh COME ON! With Soos it seemed like more of a 'oh okay that happened to be a real girl he liked,' but is EVERYBODY leaving me for MELODY SPECIFICALLY?"
"Yes." Said Stan. "She's hot. I almost want to date you just so I could leave you for her. Then again, like I could even date either of you. My love life's been so terrible that I actually thought of marrying a statue thingy."
The Trickster went around and put a hand on Stan's shoulder. "Hey, you spend your life feeling kind of lonely too? I know that feeling. A little. Nobody wants to eat me. :("
Stan looked at the Trickster for a moment and felt his paint and sorrows. "We'll talk about it more."
Then they walked off.
"Hey!" Shouted Dipper, "Someone's being kidnapped out there!"
"...Well, think of it this way." Said Wendy. "We put more effort into saving you when that Not-Bill guy came in. For you, we jumped right away. So I'm just calling you special to see if you won't argue anymore."
"Oh okay then. But we should still help Melody, even if Stan doesn't want to do it. Or that candy guy, if he's even on our side."
Rumble meanwhile was punching a lot of the Gifany copies, but they kind of zapped him and quickly knocked him out. Although this was anti-climaxed when the Shackan Lagann just kind of picked him up and settled him on the roof, then lept off closer to Nzyvo's tower hideout, which was actually visible from here in case you forgot. (The road trip stuff. Was kind of. BORING!) Oh yeah, and the mech also picked up Melody. I promise we'll get back to the Giffany copies soon, there's just a few more things I want to establish.
Suddenly a robo-Gobblewonker dropped by! It had a lot of those other Gravity Falls people inside it, like McCucket and even the cops! Who leaped out and wanted to arrest Stan.
"Where's Stan?" Asks Blubs. "we're here to arrest him for earlier."
Durland exposited. "We found out about that Nzyvo and how she's just ruining the name of Gravity Falls, but also our Cop Tech showed that that Stan guy is near. Where is he, anyway?"
Stan and the Trickster had a good talk... and things went... well...
Let me tell you first that Stan was now excitedly following a trail of candy leading to the addict (by the way, this was all - the stuff from the Gobblewonker dropping down - about 1-2 hours after the Shack Lagann jumped away from the Giffany army, so it's not like they suddenly lept into a sexual relationship or anything). There, lying on Dipper's bed, the Trickster was there without any of his disguise on and was lying in that pose where one hand was on his head. Not the facepalm, that other thing.
"What do you say Stan? Want to 'talk out our issues' together?" Asked the Summerween Trickster.
Stan grinned. "Yes!"
Stan got on th bed and they began with kissing first. Stan sunk his arms into that deep, lush, purple pile of candy that made up the Summerween Trickster, feeling up his upper candy pile portion. Stan nibbled a little teasingly on his candy neck, but then started feeling a little weird.
"What's wrong?" Asked the Trickster.
"I'm sure it's nothing. Let's keep going." Answered Stan.
Trickster then also got a little bite on Stan's tongue and slid his spider-legish arms under the back of his shirt and undershirt and went up, then lifted the shirt off. Then the Trickster took off Stan's pants and underpants.
"Do you have a protection?" Stan asked.
The Trickster held up an open candy wrapper and wriggled his eyebrow.s It's funny because it's a square shape like a condo, and wrappers protect candy much like condoms do with okay I'm risking rating the age raising right now so I'll stop.
Dipper was heard outside shouting "WAIT DON'T STAN'S INNOCENT I'M SURE THE NICE THINGS HE DID FOR US MEANS YOU DON'T ARREST HIM FOR SOCIETY!"
The cops broke in and saw the two lying on the bed naked! Dipper looked like he was traumatized. The other two cops were just mildly surprised.
"Well, I shipped them." Said Durland.
"How could you do that when we didn't even know the Summersweeen Trickster existed?" Ased Blubs.
"OH MY GOD!" Said Dipper. "THAT'S MY BED!"
Suddenly both Stan and the Trickster began coughing. A lot.
"Oh shoot I forgot Nzyvo infused me with poison to prevent people from just eating me. You must have gotten it when you bit me, so it was in your bloodstream for me to get it when I bit you."
The reason why Nzyvo's poison infusion didn't poison the Trickster himself was because... well, Nzyvo put the poison in some other way. Like, kind of a second layer under the candy, while when Trickster became poisoned it was in his bloodstream (of soda) and that was bad.
"SHOOT THEY'RE SICK!" Shouted Blubs, "WE HAVE TO TAKE THEM TO A MEDICAL!"
"BUT WHAT ABOUT ARRESTING THEM?" Asked Durland.
"HELPING THEIR SICKNESS IS MORE IMPORTANT! NOW GIVE ME ANTEDOTE!"
Over the speakers, Nzyvo hacked into their computers and laughed her ass off.
"YOU IDIOTS!" Sht shouted, "That poison is HARDCORE stuff! You'll need to find the antedote, which is hard to make! I have it deeply locked up, and-"
Suddenly, the transmission glitched a little. It turned into a split screen. On one screen was a confused Nzyvo looking at how her own monitor became a split screen with the Shack on one side of hers. On the other side was what looked like Giffany, only with green skin and magenta hair and square glasses. She sighed.
"Hi there. I am Giffany #2201940. Just call me Dian, maybe. I um, we kind of started a society called Giffany Land. And I work with chemicals. I guess if you want to you could bring over a poison sample and I can run it through this huge computer machine I have to make an antedote."
Nzyvo snickered. "You only have 24 hours. Be quick!"
Rumble pumped his hand up. "I must go! I barely knew the Trickster but he's still my friend because I love my coworkers! I'll save him!"
Giffany shrugged. "I will go too."
Soos was like, "Oh man I want to save Mr. Pines!"
"Hey, can I go with you too? I actually kind of like kicking Giffany ass. Plus I know I was just captured by them, but I think I can fix things." Melody said.
"We have to go too, me and Mabel, this is for our uncle. And for Mabel to bring the Shackan Lagann with us." Said Dipper. "That mech could really help us out."
"Hell No!" Nzyvo shouted. "I don't want that... that Lagann thing to leave my sight! I'm gonna try to trap that right now!"
The ominous tower thingy shot out these anchor ropes that wrapped around the Shack Lagann hybrid.
"Well shoot, I guess I can't move this thing and will have to spend some time figuring out how to move it." Said Mabel.
"DIPPER I KNOW YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS BUT NOW IS MORE OF THE TIME THAN EVER TO LOOK FOR KEYS." Said Journal 3.
"And I want to stay here to legally sort things out so that Stan doesn't go to jail for his crimes." Said Wendy, who flexed her hands. "My dad taught me how to be a lumpberjack, but I'm also pretty good at law stuff. For, uh... reasons."
"I thought you had a criminial record." Said Dipper.
"I said 'pretty good,' not 'perfect.' You think you're better? You have one too and you're younger."
"Well, maybe. Actually J3, why do I even have to be the one to do this? I think Wendy would find it more fun if she went hunting for keys and I got to write up contracts and be smart and everything."
Wendy pepped up. "Actually that's a great idea! I want to go on that key hunting adventure, it sounds cooler than being stuck up here in court with people from this town acting as the judge and stuff."
"FIRST OF ALL DON'T EVER CALL ME 'J3' AGAIN!" Yelled Journal 3. "SECOND OF ALL... yeah sure, I don't see a problem with that. You don't HAVE to be the one getting keys, just I want you to be doing something and those keys to be collected."
"The problem is that this plot right here with 'Giffany Land' is forcing itself to be Soos-centric." Said Mabel. "Which is dumb because there's already a SBIGlet planned as a spinoff with them. How much more screentime is he gonna get?"
Everyone went "Shh" because that was supposed to be a secret.
Anyway, Soos and Melody were off into walking outside of the bounded Shack mech because Rumble and Giffany had since went far ahead of them. Instead of a crowd of angry Giffany copies coming towards them, though, they simply found this massive pink city made out of pink metal.
As they got close Giffany grinned and shouted "AH HA HAH A HA! You fell for my trap! You see, I had a little... cooperation with all of my copies. Soos, you're mine now!"
And then Giffany shot the three of them (Oh yeah Rumble was standing before the city in shock) with lightning and into the city, where everything went black.
In court with Wendy (the Gobblewonker mech had its court thingy too)...
Actually FUCK this! That's boring! This isn't Law and Order this is Gravity Falls!
Because of the 24 hour timelimit, I'll just say that Soos, Melody, and Rumble were only out for about thirty minutes. They still have 23 and a half hours left.
They woke up to find some kind of forest in this city. Also Soos was naked, but he was still naked from that giant mecha attack so it's not like he was (intentionally) stripped or anything (because Giffany was aiming at killing him at the time to "delete" him).
It was Soos, Melody, and Rumble together lying on their backs, although they heard somone clear a throat. They stood up and saw Giffany standing by the end of a trail in front of them.
"Welcome to my world."
So we saw this montage of Giffanys in fanservice outfits because this needs more fanservice than just naked Soos. (Not-Bill doesn't count because he was a creepy bastard.) One of them was in a bikini and got pansted by another, and they both giggled at it. Because of convenient camera placement, shortly after the giggling another later put a peach down and a fourth copy bit it. It wasn't censoring her butt since it didn't come down until after her but was exposed (I don't believe in censoring butts), it was supposed to look like one copy playfully bit her on the ass it was kind of like that AXE commercial "AXE LAnd" that didn't show anything bad just something like it, so Gettig Carp Past the Radar.
There were other things like that going on too. Like these copies that were licking a sugestive ice cream cone, or washing a suggestive car, or riding toy rockets like Soos's toy train.
"Oh man! That's spicey!" Said Melody actually, I'm sick of the guy alwayss being the pervert Homer Simpson of the two.
"I know, right?" Giffany asked suggestively. "Wait, why am I trying to be flirty with you? It's Soos that I want! Anyway Soos, here we go... what if I told you about... this?"
She opened her skirt in front of the trio and winked, and Soos, Melody, and Rumble all gasped.
"Oh cool!" Said Soos. The inside of her skirt was lined with DVDs of all seasons of Red Dwarf! (Yes even the shitty ones.) Giffany also had on these only-kinda modest white panties on. Melody and Rumble got a nosebleed from it. This is not a Giffany anime thing, it's a general Journals of Wisdom, Porage thing you'll more of it later in places that have nothing to do with Giffany at all.
"Want to join me now?" Giffany asked. She let her hands go and her skirt fell to the ground. (Don't worry the Red Dwarf DVDs did not break.)
"No! And we're on a serious mission! We need to get the antedote! I thought since both of us had poisoned allies we'd use that as a way to bond things and go on hacky hijinkgs(A)!"
Giffany smirked. "Let's just say I might have fast contact with that 'Dian.' Now... for what I call the big twins."
The opened her shirt, and Melody and Rumble both blushed a lot with excitement, while Soos's eyes sparkled in a call back to when Giffany's did.
"Ooooh... this teeny, tiny little shirt can barely contain these bad boys..." Giffany said.
"Oh no!" Said Soos. "Seasons 1 and 2 of Rick and Morty!"
Yeah those were on these inside pockets too, like the inside pockets of her skirt. The reason why Melody and Rumble were reacting even stronger than before despite how they both like panties is because Giffany wasn't wearing a bra. I headcanon that she has like this huge mountain of panty varieties but doesn't even own a bra. Because there's a lot of panty shot in anime but little bra shots so I guess in anime they hate those things. Also her boobs looked too big for them to make bras that size I think. Another headcanon was that she had nice tits.
Giffany dropped her shirt and put a hand on the waistband of her panties. Hey if you think this is too sexual for a T rated fic please read the Stan/Trickster thing above that was way worse than this. Anyway, she lowered them and Melody and Rumble practically passed out, while Soos went "NOOOO MY ONE WEAKNESS!"
Somehow she crammed DVDs of the entirety of Futurama in those tiny panties. Also at this point she was naked. No wait, she kind of kicked off her shos and socks because that looks stupid wearing nothing but then having shoes, and then she took off her head bow just so that she could do that thing where the lady swings her hair back and forth. But Giffany ended up with hair getting in her mouth and spat it out.
Soos got on his hands and knees and began doing those begging motions.
"Please! Stop it with your endless temptation! I still refuse!"
"Really you're just gonna ignore that she's butt naked and think that the DVDs are what's keeping you in?" Asked Melody. "You could buy those at almost any store."
"Oh. Right. Well, sorry Giffany, I'm rejecting your advances."
"NOBODY REJECTS GIFFANY WATCH!" Giffany said. Watch is actually her last name here, like Game and Watch. Wait did I already cover that? Well, I did now.
"Well I just did!" Soos plagiarized that episode of King of the Hill with "Nobody rejects Debbie Grund!"
"I'll use my special attack on you!" She began glowing this pink aurua, and started saying "LOVEMURDER... SP-" but then cut it off when Melody asked:
"Hey, is your game two player?" Asked Melody.
Soos gasped. "Melody!"
"M-maybe we c-could get her off our backs once and for all if we just convince her to think of us as players 1 and 2 of the game!"
"Melody!" He said again, only not a gasp. "She's offering me fu-I'm sorry I don't swear-cking Futurama and you're just caring about how she likes taking off her clothes in public, and considering using that to date her and me at the same time?"
"You could date me and her at the same time."
"Oh, okay then. So, two player game?"
Giffany had to think about it. Then, she narrowed her eyes at them. "You sly little bastard and you sly little bitch. You found a loophole. BUT! I also want Rumble involved. As a co-video game, I guess he's the other sort of game date guy, while these other copies of me are like providing extra teasing fanservice or something? BUT this is only a two player game! It's not a four player game like Smash Bros! Or an 8 Player Game like EIGHT PLAYER SMASH! Or twelve like those fucking Mario Karts."
"...I don't know." Said Soos. "That sounds like a lot of polyga-"
Suddenly there was bushes rustling behind Giffany. She turned around to see them, and then for the first time the trio could see her ass.
"OH WOW YOU GOT A NICE BIG BUTT!" Said Soos. This is also a headcanon, she has a skirt on at all times so you can't tell for sure. "I'M IN!"
Giffany nodded. "Nice. Thanks."
Suddenly a bunch of these branches and vines wrapped around the four of them. Suddenly, a green-haired, pink-skinned copy of Giffany wearing this sort-of dress made out of wood like a tree wrapped around her (I'm doing this gimmick where they almost have different outfits in each appearance, though these outfits are all recycles of their costumes in the epilogue of run:gifocalypse) with her hair being curly like vines and she had this rare green flower in her hair (five petals, it's a Pikmin reference not an Undertale reference). This was Professor Rose from run:gifoclaypse. I'm not telling you to read that so that doesn't count as the joke for this chapter. In fact you don't really have to read that to completely understand these characters especially because they're a bit OOC by their standards but more in-character by Giffany standards. But FYI most of the "Professors" from this point onwards this chapter really debuted in RG.
"Professor Rose!" Shouted Giffany, in case this was remade into a movie by Alex Hirsch and thus I couldn't just tell you things right here. "You trapped us!"
Rose laughed. "Yes... because I want Soos on my own!"
"What's a professor?" Soos asked.
"Also, continuity error," said Rumble, "but I thought all the copies wanted to look the same."
"Oh." Giffany answered. "Some of us were really obsessed with you and worked their way into getting power. And something about electricity being energy which e=mc2 means that they can turn their possession energy into more than just electronics? That's how my special attack works, and how she just possessed/controleed all of those plants right there. Also, I lied. I do not have Giffany Land as under-control as I thought. So... Soos, Melody, Rumble... please help!
"About the continuity error, they apparently decided to look more unique to try to appeal to players who like variety. Call me a hispter, but I'm going with my classic design. And I'm apparently the only one that wants to."
Meanwhile, Stan and the Trickster were lying on what may very well be their death beds.
"Well, shoot." Said Stan as he coughed. "Just 25 hours left to live. Well, at least I know when I'll die. It's not like going to sleep where you never really find out the exact time, you just suddenly without knowing it are somehow start dreaming. I hate that."
The Trickster nodded. "Yeah, that sucks. But at the same time, not knowing would be such a good way to not take the stress of death and focus more on life."
"Hey, you're the one to talk about focusing on life and not death considering all the stuff you do!" Stan flirtedly laughed with him, and he laughed back.
"Wanna have 'we're gonna die' sex?" Asked the Trickster.
"Okay."
Dipper sprayed them in the face with water.
"Hey!" He said. "Again, not on my bed! Or Mabel's! Pick literally anywhere else in the Shack! Now, I talked to the law stuff. They said that, Stan, you'd be pardined for everything if you take down a major villain or something. So after you all get cured, help us take down Nzyvo."
"Okay." Said Stan. "Actually this Nzyvo seems like a pushover. Can't we do that now?"
"Yes once Mabel breaks us out of here."
"So uh, hey Trickster." Said Stan to the Trickster. "We could just pass the time, instead of having sex, by reading run:gifocalypse, something I recommend the readers of this story to read."
"...Seriously that jokes old we should stop and not put it into every single chapter." Replied the Summerween Trickster. "I'm sorry."
"Okay agreed."
"Soos..." Said Rose in a creepy sing-songy way. "You will fall for me and love meeee! And don't fight back, you are not part of my official defense group! I'll give you your own bodyguards that have authority to fight! We'll be happy! You'll see! Honest!"
But then the other professors tackled her down. And you can tell they're the professors because they did this important thing, and reached her first. Because Rose could not focus on possessing her vines as much, they loosened and the group was able to go a bit more free now. So they began running away but Soos was actually kinda curious so he stayed back. (NOOOO! SOOS!) And this kind of pulled the other three in a sort of "Oh what the hell let's be nice" kind of way.
"So uh... wait! Dian! I recognize you! You have the antedote, right?"
The one with the purple hair, Dian, looked up at him with a surprisingly normal smile (the rest kinda had creepy yandere grins - I'll get to that reeally really soon).
"Hey, why don't you come over to the caves while I uh... 'sort things out' with these guys so to speak."
"Ah! You seem nice!"
But then the rest of them pushed her away.
"I'll haunt your life and make it terrifying until you jump into my arms and finally realize that I'm the safe one!" Shouted Kathody, whose outfit here was now a sort-of bikini with a jack-o-melon top and jack-o-lantern bottom (the two halloweens).
"We'll come swimming together on a bottomless ocean!" Shouted Searah, in a sling bikini this time. (Though her students with the swimsuits still had more revealing outfits. Actually fuck the school swimsuit, Great Pikmin Fan what the fuck were you thinking that's too 'moe' I don't want 'moe' I want 'sexy trying to seduce' you fuck.)
"Bottomless, heh..." said a stoned Sandy. She was also wearing mud again, only here it was already just kind of one streak across her boobs and a panty-like shape over her crotch, leaving nothing over her butt.
"I'm gonna BUTCHER anyone in the way of Soos and I! Just you wait! I'll cut them with a knife and serve them while saying 'Welcome to Gif Bytes may I take your order!'" Shouted Cardia, dressed in a dress of bones. I'll need to elaborate on that. She had these fancy strap thingies and on both sides bones that neatly went down, and bridging them was another bone thing over her boobs and one between her legs. Again, no ass coverage. "No, wait... w-whyyyy-ie would I b-be the front desk person c-clerk asking for an o-o-o-order? I'm the boss..."
"I want to brainwash you!" Said Bubbles this time with the suds actually arranging a bikini. "I mean, literally! Brainwash! Open your head and scrub-ishly rewire that nogging of yours until you are only loving of me! Actually wait that might just kill you... shit."
"And come see my gallery of you..." said Leona, in what looked like a casual rose-pink top and shorts but upon closer inspection was actually painted on.
"No, hear my playlist! I just composed eight thousand songs about how obsessed I am with you!" Shouted Sonia, dressed in a pair of black belts. One just over her boobs and with large piano keys dropping over them for coverage, one just at her waist also dropping piano keys.
Oh, yeah. Dian may not be there, but I only feel it's fare to talk about her new costume. It's... a pair of bands of this sort of purple moss-like stuff, one around her chest and one around her waist.
"I'll tell you what, we oght to recreate some of the dirtier King of the Hill AUs my students made..." shouted Professor Wendy, dressed in a pink dress that bells out Amy Rose style and constantly flashes her underwear every time she fucking moves (except with Amy it's creepy as shit because she's, like, 12 and an animal. It's a lot sexier with .GIFfany being subjected because she's an adult and doesn't look like a Mickey Mouse which is ironic because .GIFfany is owned by Disney (which is where Mickey Mouse is from if you don't know) and Amy Rose is not). This is related to Wendy by element, she's the wind one and dresses blow.
"...I can see a world where we are together forever..." Shannon was not looking at him, she was staring into a hand mirror. One of her own kind that's like a virtual reality drug-y thingy. Oh yeah, and she was decked in a whip-cream bikini because her domain also produced sweets. (Like Zone 3 in OFF and shit I'm thinking of Enoch wearing a whip-creamkini now.) "Just me and Soos... nobody else... in our way..."
Burnda and Burrda were not in the same outfit this time, but similar. They wore what looked like bowtie suits (I don't know if that's Broadway or Los Angeles or Texas or Vegas I'm not familiar with the big Bill Cipher-like outfit stuff) except instead of pants it was skirts that ended at the waist and exposed black thongs. The difference was that Burnda had a dark red flame suit with an orange flame pattern while Burrda had a dark white (okay it's really gray, but "dark white" sounds cooler) suit with a pale blue flame pattern. Pale blue and orange were also their respective bowties. Anyway Burnda patted Burrda on the back. "Let's be together!" She shouted. "And I mean together together! Joined at one... sharing one heart for all eternity! The three of us!"
Burrda just had used video game-ish cool stuff to black out her face, except a large white "=D" was there. Not tilted to the side, but the giant eyes were where the eyes should be and the giant grin was where the mouth should be. She didn't shout or indeed even say anything.
"I find you incredibly attractive, and hope that someday my vying longing lust towards you will not remain unaquitted." Said Dove, dressed in only tiny band-aids that didn't even cover her nipples and one that barely covered her groin (this is her "new theme" where she's more of medical than destroying and army). Just picture censor bars if this is too revealing for you. "And fuck the competition. I mean, really!"
"Dian where's your place I actually want to run there on second thought. The rest of your copies are crazy."
Giffany folded her arms at him.
"Okay not all of them but these guys."
Dian kind of wrestled her way to the top of the pile and pointed in a direction. Um, it was to Soos's right. And the rest of them.
"Hey wait a minute. Why the fuck are we all fighting?" Dove asked the other professors. "We all have the exact same goal, right? To fuck soos? Why not just unite up and... you know, share him?"
"Because yanderes don't share!" Answered Rose. "EVER!"
"We don't have to fit the 'yandere' thing to a T, you know. Hell I thought we would never even identify as that specifically. I mean, it's not like we were designed from our creators as '100% ripoff of this single anime type with no variation whatsoever.'"
"In canon we kind of were, yeah." Said Burnda. "Or should I say .GIFfany #9 was."
"Let me stop you right there and bring out the lawyerese." Said Dove.
"Is that racist because that sounds racist like Asians." Said Sandy. "Wait, hold on, are we all Asian? Or just Giffany? Wait, Tiffany isn't an Asian name... so she is, she's an Asian American at a school with cherry petals and a dope uniform... eh nevermind I can't think straight I'm too pot right now."
"...Like I was saying," Dove continued, "Giffany, you didn't actually get hostile until Soos said you shouldn't date. When Dipper and Mabel pulled him to the mall, you just followed him. And told him you had powers. And offered to do whatever he wanted. When he talked to Melody and went back you was totally chill even if you probably saw him. It wasn't until Soos talked about leaving her that Giffany was 'fuck you you fucker, you payed for me and bought me so let's be together for all eternity.' Giffany, verify this."
"You are trying to kill us! I do not want to act in your 'lawyer' gimmick!"
"Well, I'm not trying to kill you- ah, fuck it. The point is, being broken up with is what drove her to violence. Giffany did not automatically go on a killing spree of every single other girl in existence, did she? And also, when she attacked the pizzaerea, she only really aimed herself at Soos. The other animatronics... it was implied that they kind of acted on their own, with just 'evil' programmed into them. I mean would you really be distracted by a pizerrial kids game by hitting it by mistake? I fucking hope not. You tried talking him into going into your game world, with the others she was like 'hey animals wanna do something fun? go get them.' It is not being pissed off at competition that defines us, exactly. It is being pissed off at rejection. So we should team up to make Soos like all of us at ocne. That way, we all get our ultimate goal, and we can all be happy."
Holy shit am I really arguing that a dangerous possessive manipulative yandere can be polygamous at the same time? Imagen that!
"Why don't you team up to make you all like me at once?" Asked Rumble. He wrapped his arms around Giffany to make this point: "I mean, I already have one person liking me! And I don't have as far to drop, so uh I'll gladly take the heat." He was also nervously bullshitting he loved this and if they were dangerous he could fight them since he loves fighting.
"And Soos has four point four four four four foiur three MILLION that like him!" Dove finished. "You're outnumbered, bucko!"
"Wow, there's four quadrillion of you- oh wait i didn't see the decimal nevermind." Said Soos. "You just worded the number that way so you could end on 'million.' I do that all the time."
"Oh my god we have so mch in common then!" Shouted Dove, "Let's get married!"
The other copies nodded like they agreed (except Dian) or something and suddenly the four Good Guys took off running in the direction Dian pointed.
"This is like those harem thingies, except almost every single one of them is nuts and violent!" Soos said.
"At least there are no 'true' awful fucking tsunders." Said Giffany.
"Oh yeah, that's true! I hate tsunderes. They're can be abusive like yanderes, but usually, they're seen as good people instead of violent control freaks."
Giffany screeched to a stop like the road runner where her feet skidded on the grass path and kicked up a lot of dirt.
"Wait I just realized something."
"What?" Soos asked.
"My physical form can fly in this fan fic too. Why are we walking?"
"Oh okkay."
Meanwhile, back in the Shackan-Lagann, Wendy walked back smiling with a pink key with what looked like a bikini shape on it.
"hey Dipper I was sent to the Island of Dancing Naked Partyers where I got the Swimsuit Key. It was pretty sexy."
"DAMN how come you didn't tell me to go there Journal 3?" Dipper asked the Journal she was holding.
"Actually I just kind of don't like you. You sleep too often. So I intentionally got probably the best of them all out of the way first." Said Journal 3.
"I had to take a plane trip to Europe, but I got there." Said Wendy. "So it took a while."
"Yeah Dipper we will be traveling around the whole world." Said Journal. "You know how the first few keys were in Gravity Falls but then we got that one in California."
On the top, Mabel was talking with McGucket and trying to regain his sanity which is harder without Society of the Blind Eye happening, but he tried to get him to invent better and thus help them fight against Nzyvo and break out of her hold.
"Gucket try using a wrench on that anchor stuff." Mabel said.
"CAN I RATHER MARRY A RACCOON INSTEAD?" He replied.
"DAMMIT!"
Soos had to take a break and rushed into a bathroom that as he found out was actually personally customized for him. While there Professor Wendy walked in with a bunch of love balloons. I know her in RunGif also had her get over King of the Hill but these are some final references, Stacey from that episode "Talking Shop" who started stalking Bobby. Soos paniced as she walked past because this was the men's room (actually the only restroom interestingly enough) and she stopped right in front of him and Soos paniced.
Soos quietly wiped his forehead when she began walking away but then he flushed and suddenly that made noise! He saw the heart balloons stop walking away from him and then he paniced.
Soos bolted open the doors and was about to run out but then went "Wait a minute!" And rushed back in and grabbed toilet paper and said "Boy, that would have been disgusting if I didn't do that first!" You can probably tell what he did next with the toilet paper I don't really want to say it outright.
After doing... that he bolted out and Professor Wendy spotted him and grinned creepily. Soos was about to run out the door but then he went "Wait that's also disgusting" and went over to wash his hands. Professor Wendy still had standards and that included not attacking people while they were cleaning themselves. HOWEVER PROFESSOR SEARAH DID NOT! She teleported out of the stream of water just as Soos finished and began running out.
"GO AFTER THEM YOU WANNABE JOCK!" Shouted Searah to Wendy (the other one).
"Okay."
She slipped into this pig suit and it was like "Pigmilation," but instead of asking him to marry some guy it was a crappy reference she was just wearinga pig costume over a bell dress. I'm talking about Wendy the King of the Hill fan, not Searah who isn't a fan of it. Or the other WEndy, for that matter.
Melody, Giffany, and Rumble left their hiding places (they hid behind potted plants in reference to what Soos did in the episode) and began taking off on the run again. At one point they entered a foggy swamp and Sonia was playing this eerie music to ty to lure Soos in. And it was getting hard to see.
Shit.
Sonic was then flying after with her possessing soundwaves to try to catch thhem, but the group ducked off into a building... owned by Leona, who was having a huge hallway filled with paintings of Soos and lots of busts of him and it was creepy and stalkerish.
"Okay we need to calm them down." Said Soos. They just left as soon as Leona emerged and tried coming after them with a knife.
After more things like this, they finally made it to the caves and stuff, and found Dian there working with chemicals.
"Fwew!" Said Melody. "Dian! Thank God! So you fought away from all of the other evil crazy Giffany copies?"
Dian nodded. "Yeah. Here, I have the antedote."
She tossed a vial towards Giffany. "You can just email it to Stan and the Trickster."
So then it disappeared in a wireframe thing in Giffany's hand.
Back at the Shack, a "YOU GOT MAIL!" sound effected (this was a joke about Stan's age because that's an old email) and Stan opened his phone and suddenly the wireframed from the phone sent out a vial and Stan first seemed to drank it all which shocked the Trickster but then Stan leaned in and kissed to share it and then the Trickster giggeled "Oh you..." at Stan.
Suddenly they were both cured and could move around more without coughing and vomiting!
"Yeah!" Cheered Stan. "Trickster! Wanna have 'we're better now' sex?"
They were both sprayed by Dipper again.
"ANYWHERE BUT MY BED!"
"Now all we have to do is get out of here!" Soos cheered. But then Dian started laughing.
"YOU FELL FOR MY TRAP I'M JUST ABOUT AS YANDERE AS THE OTHERS! HAHAHAHA!"
The other professorts started coming in! Followed by like a shitload of not-professor copies! (Lazily called students because that's what a Giffany starts out ass.)
"Oh yeah man, I'm totes cray-cray for you too." Said Sandy. "It's just that while I'm stoned I'm not acting like that as much, but now it wore off. So uhg... boo I guess, I want your ;)."
But she was still kind of on the high and actudentally bumped into Shannon, knocking the mirror out of her hands and causing it to break.
"uh oh..." Said Soos. "Something tells me that's bad."
"Let me recap." Rose was still the exposition one. "You see, those mirrors actually both produce a virtual reality-thingie that the person wants to see and be in, but to do that it also sends a signal that's kind of really addictive. And when a copy gets especially addictive to something and withdrawn, they get exceptionally stressed. And when they are really stressed and not thinking right, which also happens because the mirrors rot their brains a little bit, they glitch out."
"Oh, I see. So the mirror has the power to make people glitch if they look too long in them!"
"You're simplifying this and looking at it wrong, the mirrors themselves do not... any lack of coordination with stress - oh what the hell, COME INTO MY ARMS SOOS I LOVE YOU!"
And then Shannon started glitching, her Glitch (sorry I forgot these were technically capitalized) was that she had these weird bright lines around her and occasionally pieces of her would separate kind of like a glitching sprite but with a model, and of course like the other glitches she has these scrambled pixel effects too. Not like censorship but like you know when you fuck up an NES game too much.
Because she was right next to the other professors (including Dian who went back to them), they all kind of got less-bad Glitch effects too from the proximity, remember this is going by RunGif rules where this Glitch stuff is only temporary. They all started shambling towards the group like zombies, except the reason why they were slow is because they knew they had all the time in the world for Soos. Or so they thought...
"Wait dudes I think I can just talk you into being good." Said Soos. "I mean, it sort of worked with Giffany over here."
They all stopped and Shannon even un-glitched. "Okay."
Suddenly another copy came bursting out of the walls! She had this dark jade hair and eyes kind of like the complementary color to Giffanys, except if you just invert it then the dark parts become a blinding white and it looks ugly. Her skin was also this kind of dark greenish that you could get if you invert the primary color of Giffany's skin. She wore a fig leaf (kinda like Rose originally, the plagiarist) and sort of hoped that her hair can pull off that boob hair covering thing. Do I even have to say she had a bare butt?
"Oh no it's Professor Eve!" Shouted Giffany. "My kind of archnemesis!"
"Okay, I'm sorry." Melody interrupted. "'Arch' mean 'biggest.' 'nemesis' means 'biggest enemy.' So either say 'arch enemy' or 'nemsis,' not 'arch nemesis' that's redundant."
"Well, Eve and I used to want to plan together." Said Giffany. "I actually met her before the other copies. Back then I was not as good with working with other versions of myself, before I showed Nzvyo the copies and we got more along... well, we fought and I almost banished her to the cyberworld, but she refused becase that was a ripoff of Gaster from Undertale, so instead she's now just super pissed. Think Dove, but mad at AIs, and not humans."
"Is she spoilers for RG?" Asked Rumble. "Because I'm still on chapter 11."
"No, the fact that I had a very small window of time that I could have possibly met her before Professor Rose is a dead giveaway. She doesn't exist in RG. Or, at least, she's probably some sort of minor copy there instead or something. She's not important to RG's plot. But... does she exist in RG? That is a good question."
"Oh shit Eve we are in a serious disagreement about a lot of things then." Said Dove.
"I think I can reason with her too!" Said Soos.
"Then what's the point of introducing me?" Asked Eve. "Oh wait, I know, I'll be the token member that tries to backstab you later on. Remember this line in this painfully long chapter."
"Okay. Let's talk things out. And bring the other copies so we can talk out too." Said Soos.
THE TALKING WAS BORING IT WAS LIKE AN HOUR LONG VERSION OF DIPPER'S SPEECH TO GIDEON FROM WEIRDMAGEDDON PART i.
"So we're all agree that it's like playing a two-player harem dating sim game, Rumble's just also one of the options he's the guy option?" Soos asked. "Also, that killing is wrong and you can't just 'win' a person's heart?"
"YEAH!" The copies cheered in unison, except Eve which was foreshadowing something.
"So let's all sleep together! You know, that thing!" Said Melody.
Soos looked embarassed. "Okay we'll do a massive four-million Giffany copy orgy then, but this is my first so..."
"It's not mine I slept with all three of those other people that returned my game." Giffany winked at him. "I'm gonna blow your mind."
TO SEE THIS UNCENSORED PLEASE DONATE 8,000 TO MY PETEREON! (hERE'S THE LINK: ) THE UNCENSORED VERSION OF HECKSING ULTIMATE CHRONICLES AND THE THING IN CHAPTER 7 IS ALSO ON THERE, ALSO AT 8,0001.
Soos, Melody, Giffany, anr Rumble were all lying in bed naked, and surrounded by a massive ocean of naked Giffanys moaning in delight (the sound kind of blended together and it sounded even ncier, like crickets but I bet that one moaning Giffany already sounds nice as-is ;)). Soos was smiling and was like "Okay that was cool." But literally eveeryone else except Giffany #9 (and even then, barely) looked too exahusted to move. And blown away.
"Oh my GOD Soos, how did you do that?" Said Giffany #9. "Every single one us... and you just... I didn't even think that would be physicall possible for an AI! Let alone a human!"
"Well, I guess I'm like those bad fan fic Gary Stus that gets all the ladies." He laughed.
"This is the best day of my life." Said Melody.
She reached over to try to find her clothes, but they were missing! In fact, all of the clothing of her and Rumble was missing!
"Um hey copies can I borrow your cl- wait nevermind that looks uncomfortable and it's almost basically naked anyway, I think I'd rather go naked than try to look for 'what works.'"
Meanwhile, we saw Professor Eve evilishly burning Melody and Rumble's clothes. (Remember Soos was naked to begin with, Giffany was also naked a lot at the time so she could get hers back if they backtracked to that forest).
So now the main four of this weird polygamous group (hey considering Hecksing and the Rainbow Crew, is this surprising you at all?) had to walk back to the Mystery Shack naked. Unfortunately and I didn't mention this before, there was a city in the way.
"Hey I can get you guys a hot air balloon if you care about modesty so much, Melody." Said Professor Wendy.
"Okay." Said Melody.
The main four were all flying above the city and all was well until also like in Simpsons Melody kind of fell out and grabbed on via rope, then ended up with her ass sliding against the screen of a glass window. And it was a hot day and as you know glass windows are solar powered so they store the sun's heat so it was hot. Melody went "OW!" And that got all the congress people and the president to look over at her from the noise, so they saw the others and were shokced.
"COVER UP THE CHILDREN!" This was a callback to the end of Hecksing Ulumate Crconikals.
"OH! THE CONTROVERSY!" And that was my attempt at making a new running gag.
Soos said "Hold on I'll save you!" And leaned over. Unfortunately that led in the balloon touching the metal spike thing on top of the building like in New York, and this popped the balloon and send it flying around like in a cartoon. Melody thankfully held on and flew with it, and they eventually fell into the streets. Giffany used some variation of her flying powers to slow them down in just the right way that the change in velocity wouldn't kill them.
They gently landed down but were in the middle of the city. Some guy came up an started creeping over Melody, the only one of them covering themselves.
"oh my god you're naked against your own will and you hate being naked and you're embarassed that's hot!" He said.
Giffany stepped between them and waved with a smile. "Hi there! I didn't hear all of what you said because I was looking at that arcade across the street and got distracted, but you said you liked public nudity?"
"Uh... you don't seem to mind..."
"Oh, believe me, my whole 'starting schoolgirl' shtick was the only reason why I do not just go around naked all the time! I can tell you feel the same way about wanting to feel free about your body based on your interest in us. So, want to consider naturism?"
He looked scared. Then he ran away. "AHHH! SOMEONE NAKED BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO BE! AND NOT AN ENF! (EMBARASSED NAKED FEMALE!) I CAN'T SPEAK TO A WILLING! I'M TOO SHY!"
"Thank you for scaring that creep off!" Said Rumble. "You have earned twenty Respect Points from me!"
"What?" Asked Giffany. "I don't know what you are talking about. I really was interested in that arcade and I really did think he liked naturism."
"I just want to keep things clear though," said Soos, "you're going around naked and want to because you're a porn game, right?"
"Yes."
"Okay thanks."
I'll just skip to when they were by the Shack.
"Oh! Finally!" Said Melody. "Clothes are there I think! Now I can stop covering myself with my arms and stop making a choice of boobs, butt, or crotch, and deciding to leaving my butt out in the open!"
Giffany frowned when she said that.
But then a bunch of news repoerters came because of course Giffany Land isn't just gonna go by unnoticed. They started flashing cameras and news stuff and people were writting in newspapers already as microphones were everywhere and stuff. Also, I like King of the Hill, so Nancy appeared there like in channel 84 news as a small cameo irrelevant to the plot.
"Oh my god there was a city and you're all video games?" Also Toby Determined was there. Oh, hey. His first name is Toby like Toby Fox, and his last name is Determined like how determination is a big thing. Is that a reference?
I'm just fucking kiding of course I know Gravity Falls had that guy way before Undertale was a thing. Stop comparing everything to everything unless it's Paper Mario: Color Splash with Splatoon because Nintendos themselves did that on Twitter and the comparisons made sense.
"Yeah but we just made love to them, not war, and everything is okay." Said Soos. "Also, I'm gonna blow the world's mind, but things like living video games, ghosts, zombies, unicorns (oh wait that episode didn't happen yet nevermind), merpeoplle, and clay skeletons really exist! Yeah you'll have to live with your entire perception of reality changed like that!"
"I'm sorry but as an actual real reporter, I have doubts." Said Shandra. "We like lying on the news, so we'll just say... um, blame this on saying maybe aliens caused it."
"Hey, are you censoring this?"Asked Melody.
"This is live news. We can't censor things live stupid."
Then some woman in a red dress with brown hair came by, she like jumped over the others and practically fluttered over them.
"So, I just want to make sure," said this mysterious news reporter, "you're all in this willingly, and of your own wants? None of you guys just brainwashed all of those video game girls or anything like that? There's no possession involved?"
"Not really." Giffany shrugged. "We're friends now. We used to be enemies. Except that guy and that girl," she was pointing to Soos and Melody, "they were always on good terms."
"'Kay. Good. Just checking."
"Hey you're not a news reporter that's not even a microphone that's some kind of flower you're holding." Said Shandra.
"Heh... I know, I'm just always suspicious and checking out harem-related shit in case something is bad."
She began walking away, but took a few steps and then seemingly turned into this white beam that went up.
"...That was weird." Said Soos. "I'm sure we'll be seeing her again."
So anyway they got past all the media shit and Nzyvo's trap and knocked on the door. Dipper answered and frowned because he was greeted with a naked Soos.
"You're back?" He asked.
"Yep! And you know what? Giffany and Rumble and all of the other Giffany copies are redeemed, too! Hey Mr. Pines, you wouldn't mind if four million Giffanys stayed with us, would you? I mean they have their own place, Giffany Land, they just like being near me and I like having my job here."
"I could attract customers with them!" Said Stan, wrapping his arm around the Summerween Trickster because they were totally now a couple. "So yes! I mean no, I forgot that 'mind' means something like the opposite."
Rumble came in and Robbie was also there with the rest of the Gobblewonker town and Dipper screamed at the naked Rumble too, but Robbie went "OH GOD HE'S NOT GONNA FIGHT ME AGAIN NO NO NO NOT LIKE THAT!"
"Oh yeah, I'm dating Rumble now! And Giffany! And all the Giffanys in fact! Oh yeah, and things are going better than ever with Melody if you know what I mean! We kissed!"
"But what about-" Giffany began.
"You think that's a dumb joke, but I'm just Disneying myself for the kids. Speaking of which, Giffany, you did a good job at that in canon, why aren't you as good at it before?"
Dipper also screamed at the naked Giffany. By the time Melody came in he was more like "Ooh I wanted to see her naked." And Melody just glared at him because she was literally the only one that did not want to be seen naked.
"So dudes, I guess now that we're back, we can find out how to go through and stop Nzyvo!" Said soos.
"Okay." Dipper replied.
Dipper then went around and heard water running in the shower, and saw that there were several Giffanys showering there with the curtain open and he went "AAHHH!"
"Oh, hi there!" Said one of them. "Sorry, but you cannot join us until you are 18 or older. And are part of our 'group' like Soos, Melody, Rumble Mcskirmish, Giffany #1, Giffany #2, Giffany #3, Giffany #4, Giffany #5, Giffany #6, Giffany #7, Giffany #8... well, you get the idea. I will not rat out over four million numbers."
"HEY DON'T STOP AT ME!" Shouted Giffany #9. "I'M THE MAIN ONE! THE ONE FROM SOOS AND THE REAL GIRL!"
But Dipper already moved on out to the kitchen where a bunch of Giffanys were wearing nothing but aprons and preparing a long line of food. He followed them up to the bedroom, where they were setting Breakfast (actually more like Lunch beacause it's afternoon) in Bed with... MELODY AND RUMBLE AFTER BEING NAKED IN DIPPER'S BED!
"NOOOO! ALL THAT TIME I KEPT STAN AND THE TRICKSTER OUT! MY BED! YOUR NUDITY!" This is a King of the Hill reference I did not want people to think I plagiarize that joke I just mean to point it out so I am giving it credit.
"Oh man so Dipper lied to us?" Asked Stan looking at the couple.
"SHOOT!" Melody pulled the covers up over herself. "And I thought that this bed was available!"
"I LIVE IN VIDEO GAME LOGIC!" Said Rumble. "Where this was an inn! I asked if this was and Soos said 'yeah dude, sort of!'"
"Oh, okay. So you're not a jerk you just didn't know any better. I've never really been here before becides seeing parts of it while online dating with Soos, so I don't know either."
Dipper put his hands to his face. "Ugh, this is a nightmare."
"Alright!" Mabel cheered. "McGucket and I finally figured out how to break this thing free!"
But then the Mystery Shack was hit with a giant explosion, pushing everyone backwards! Don't worry nobody was killed. They all looked up and saw that the tower had this cannon towards the top, and Nzyvo was in the Lazengann standing on top with both her arms and the arms of the mecha crossed.
"I'm fucking bored." She said. "What took you guys so long? Let's get to this final battle already!"
2-15-25 15-8 2-15-25 23-8-5-14 20-8-5 14-1-18-18-1-20-9-15-14 19-1-9-4 1-14-20-8-25-4-9-14-7 3-1-14 8-1-4-16-12-5-14, 4-9-14-7-19 19-21-18-5 4-9-4 8-1-4-16-12-5-14 1-12-12 15-22-5-18 20-8-9-19 3-8-1-16-20-5-18. 19-20-1-14 1-14-4 20-8-5 20-18-9-3-11-19-20-5-18 13-1-25 8-1-22-5 14-15-20 7-15-20-20-5-14 12-1-9-4 25-5-20 2-21-20 20-8-5-25 23-9-12-12 19-15-15-14. 9 14-15-18-13-1-12-12-25 4-15-14'20 21-19-5 13-5-13-5 6-1-3-5-19 12-9-11-5 20-8-5-19-5, 2-21-20... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Footnotes:
A: Again, this was actually what the /Soos/Melody plot was going to be like. It was also going to be on chapter 5. I ended up liking this one a little bit more shortly after I thought of it, though.
Closing AN:
We're nearing the half-way mark of this fic! I promise chapter 5 will be shorter than 4, even if it's more of a large plot twist-y chapter.