It's All Happenin' in History Class

School really sucks. Ever since everyone found out that I'm doing a ballet recital with Eric Cartman there has been a lot of sniggering and whispering.

"Dude," Stan says, trying not to laugh, "It'll all die down soon."

I glare at him, and put my head down on my desk. This is not happening.

"Hey dude," Kenny says, "I can't wait to see Cartman in a leotard." Stan grins at him, and Mrs Garrison waltzes into the room.

"Morning class!" He twirls, just as Cartman decides to strut into the classroom, head up high like he doesn't care.
"Eric, try to be earlier next time!"

Cartman, looking slightly pleased with himself sits down in his seat turns to me to give me a sincere smile. Then Stan turns to see what I'm looking at and Cartman quickly pulls a face at me and I pretend to be pissed off then get back to writing notes about Mrs Garrison's favourite soap operas.

"Ok class," she says, after writing the last one on the board, "there will be a test on this so study hard!" The bell goes and everyone walks out of class. Who the hell cares about Mrs Garrison's TV interests? I'm never going to be a lawyer or a doctor learning crap like that.

I glance at my timetable. History class is after recess. It's my least favourite class because I'm not in with any of my friends and Cartman sits next to me. The hell continues. I am getting the books out of my locker to prepare for the next class when there is a thud on the floor next to me. I sigh and take a deep breath.

"Oh my god, they killed Kenny!" I faintly hear Stan yell.

"You bastards." I reply before kicking Kenny's body out of my way, and grab my books and head to the library.\

"Where you going Kaaahhhhl?" Cartman asks in his most annoying voice.

"None of your business fatass." He bumps into me accidentally on purpose and my books go spilling out onto the floor.

"Clumsy fatass!" I scowl, and punch Cartman hard in the arm before leaning over to get the books off the floor.

"Allow me," Cartman sets his books down in front of mine and with his back turned picks up all my books, hands them to me and runs off with his. He's totally up to something. The bell goes. I march into history class and take my usual seat up the front away from everyone else-especially Cartman. But for once the fat piece of crap is early and grinning he slides into the seat next to mine.

"Hello Kahl!" he waves and says enthusiastically.

The teacher walks into the room and tells us that our oral presentations are due. I slide out the blue binder I keep all my homework in and find that it's not there...

"Cartman!" I whisper angrily to him, "you stole my book!"

His eyes grow wide and full of fake shock.

"Oh Kahl! I thought," he wipes away a fake tear, "W-we were friends? How could you accuse me of such a thoughtless crime?!" He sighs disappointedly and I spy my blue notebook under his Terrence and Phillip contacted binder. I smirk.

"Hey Cartman, aren't you a little old for Terrence and Phillip?"
"Huh? What you guys... but Kahl... What's the-"

A punch him off the seat and snatch my notebook back.

"Ok Kyle, that's enough of your crap you're going first."

I scowl and take my cue cards out of my binder and as I walk up the front I hear Clyde whisper to Tweek, "It's all happenin' in history class! The two ballerinas are having some 'artistic differences'!" Everyone sniggers, and my face flushes as I stand up to present. I really shouldn't have answered my phone last night. Seeing Cartman for extra ballet lessons... Why was he doing extra? Did he really want to help me? Or is there something in it for him? It seems he was being really nice to me this morning but then he stole my notebook... I glance at Craig who is laughing behind Cartman. He turns around and glares at Craig until he shuts up. Of course. He needed to do something to make me angry with him and punch him so that we didn't look gay. I give him a tiny smile. I'm pretty sure he returns it too.