...We Hope You Survive Your Stay.
It's Nativa! Again! Duh…
Okay, so let me get something straight here. I apologize for not putting that this was going to be platonic USUK in the prologue. That was my own fault, as I forgot to put it in here. But I do not appreciate getting at least 3 PMs of people saying, Give us an America pairing. It's not happening with this story, and if I make another story in this universe it won't happen in that story either. I might use FACE family or something. Or AmeBel… that might be cool… Anyway. this story is kind of writing itself, to be honest with you. I have no clue what's gonna happen next. And if you don't like the fact that I'm not really planning on doing an America pairing, just click away. It isn't that hard. Click away, and don't read this story. There will be hints of past romances, like with Prussia and America (don't ask, it's an idea I had that'll be coming to light in a couple chapters), but that's about it. As I said if you don't like it, don't read the story. But don't spam my email. Moving on.
Disclaimer: I'm a 13 year old girl, so I don't own Hetalia WHY DON'T I OWN HETALIA
*Scheming to get the ownership of Hetalia* *Remembers audience*
Uh… Sorry you had to see that..
On with the story~
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Five minutes later, the nations found themselves staring at the mansion while their so-dubbed 'tour guides', as 'South' put it, argued behind them.
Were they quite sure that this was America's house? It seemed very maturely and tastefully decorated, a far cry from what most of them thought of the young country. The gardens looked as if they were meticulously tended to, with flowerbeds and hedges and – was that a small lake? Dotting the horizon were some small sheds, a barn, and a parking garage. The house seemed even bigger up close, and the porch had small flags of multiple different countries, along with some flags that they had never seen before*. Example: there was a dark blue flag that proudly displayed the Big Dipper and the North Star; another that was white except for what looked like a big red X; and another that had a blue part with a white star, along with a thick red stripe and a thick white stripe.*
Now, if you look back to the countries guides, you will see them yelling at each other. Well, kind of. 'South' and 'York' were yelling at each other; 'York' just looked annoyed. Finally, she said, in a low tone of voice, "Shut. Up." The girls fell quiet. "I think I hear – yeah. AY YO PEACHES!"
Peaches? Who the hell is Peaches? Was pretty much the collective thought of the nations. Some of the more… paranoid nations were starting to get agitated. 'What if this is a trap? I wouldn't put it past America… but some of his friends are here – so…' Um...Ms. York?" She turned to him. "Yes, Liet?" "Um – well… I, along with some of the others here, already know the drill and have all my paperwork signed. Can we go?" "Oh. Yeah, that should be fine." Belarus spoke up next. "Why did Amerika choose now though?" This time, 'Mass' answered. "Family reunion. So all of us are here." "Oi!" This time, the teens all turned towards England. "What do you mean, family reunion? Just who are you to America? And you told us our questions would be answered at the Heart Home. Well, here we are. Answer them." 'South' winced and turned to 'Mass'. "That was a bad choice of words, wasn't it?" She turned to the nations and said, "Look – none of us are allowed to answer your questions right now. I have ta take you to Po- I mean, America, and he can answer your questions. Good enough?" "For now. But who the bloody hell is Peaches?"
"I'm Peaches." Said a voice behind him.
The nations turned and found… another teen. Oh, joy. At this point, they were just hoping that he wasn't as crazy as the others seemed to be. Well most of them were. England just… paled and started stuttering. "Ano… Engrand-san? A-are you okay?" England stuttered for a couple of seconds before chocking out, "A-A-Alistair? How are you here?" Yes, this teen looked like his older brother Scotland. Who he did not want the nations to see, at least not very often.*
Now that the nations looked closer, they realized that he did look like Scotland. Just – darker. Dark red hair, dark skin, and dark green eyes, instead of bright red hair, light skin, and light green eyes. It was still easy to tell once you really looked.
The boy cocked his head. "Alistair? As in, Alistair Kirkland? That ain't me. I'm Georgia, but most people call me Peaches. You're England, 'ight?" "Yes, I am. But, Peaches? Georgia? Odd names for a boy.*" 'Peaches' stepped towards him threateningly, and his hand drifted towards his waistband. "You makin' fun o' my name, redcoat? I 'oughta-" 'York' paled and broke in. "Okay! Peach, why don't cha go put the bus in the parking garage." She said this all in one breath. 'Georgia' shrugged, and replied, "Yeah, okay. But just so jou know, 'es got 49 and 50 in 'is office." "Which ones?" "Snipers. 'es teachin' 'em how ta do paperwork, I think." "How mad would he get if Massie busted in there with nations that could see the paperwork?" "Not very. It's not anything important, I don't think. It's nothing about the nukes or which countries that they're aimed at."*
"Qoui?!"
"What?!"
"Que?!"
"Please tell me you are joking comrade."
"DUDE! THAT'S CLASSAHFIED IDIOT!" 'Mass' yelled, swatting 'Peaches' on his head. "OWW! CRAP! JESUS MASSIE CALM THE FUCK DOWN!"
She stopped, and 'Peaches' grinned sheepishly. "K then. Imma go take that bus to the garage. Oh, and by the way Yorkie, the Punk Four are rehearsing. Mexico's in the office. Also, Russia, I have no clue where the Magic Twelve are, so just go ta Da- I mean, America's office. Canada, if you wanna find some of your demons-" "They aren't demons, eh!" "Yes they are, just walk with them, they're near his office. Same with Prussia, as Sylvia's in the music room and I think Penn's blowin' somethin' up."
"Take the fuckin' cah Peach. Let's go nations."
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About five minutes later, inside the house, after going up an elevator to the seventh floor, the nations heard a strange noise. Or – song.
"Yeah I know that you wanna be Canadian, please.-"
"Even if in winter things tend to freeze.-"
"We've got the world mon-o-po-ly on trees-"
"And our country's bordered by three different seas!"
"Yeah I know that you wanna be Canadian, please - "
"We invented the zipper, we've got expertise-"
"We made insulin to combat disease - "
"Yeah I know that you wanna be Canadian, please!"
"Brits have got the monarchy,
The US has the money,
But I know that you wanna be Canadian!"
"The French have got the wine and cheese,
Koalas chill with the Aussies,
but I know that you wanna be Canadian!"
"Et si ce n'etait pas assez,
On a duex langues officielles:
L'anglais et le francais.
Ooh La La. (And if this was not enough,
it has two official languages,
English and French.
Ooh La La)"*
The nations were searching for the source of this snog when they heard Canada squeak out, "M-maple! Get down from there!"
They looked up, and saw, on what looked like a large pipe running across the ceiling,… Two more teens, a boy and a girl.
Fucking. Perfect.
"I-I said get down from there, eh!" When did Canada become assertive? Or… noticeable, really.
The girl smirked. "You sure about that?" "YES!" "Okay."
She then stood on the pipe, and Canada blanched. "Wait! No! I didn't mean like tha-!" Too late. The girl jumped, did a flip in the air, and landed in front of Canada. "Maple! Never do that again, eh!" She rolled her eyes, saying, "Calm down old man. No harm do- Omph!" she never got to finish her sentence, for the boy jumped off the pipe as well, and kinda-sorta… landed on her back. "Get the hell off Brunswick!" "Sorry Nova!"*
The countries were using this time to analyze the children, and were praying that they weren't as insane as the others… but didn't really have any hope.
The girl had long, light blond hair and bright violet eyes, and had a long curl sticking out of her hair – she looked about 14, so she was basically a mini female Canadia (Canada). The boy, on the other hand, had dark hair tied into a small ponytail, light brown eyes, and bushy-ish eyebrows. He seemed shyer than the girl, but around the same age. The three teens that they were already with were just laughing their asses off, until they heard,
"YORK! Get your ass over here, we're about to rehearse!" A boy, around the same age as the first four they met, but one thing stood out to the countries. The kid was basically a smaller England. The only difference was that his hair was a bit longer and his eyebrows less bushy. So yeah, he looked like England. Except.. England would never dress like that.
Meaning, this kid was wearing: Tight, ripped, black jeans; a tight leather jacket; a choker with a metal cross hanging from it; a tight dark blue shirt with a weird seal and a Latin motto and the word 'Virginia'*; black shoes with tattered shoelaces; and had multiple piercings, three on his ears and two on his face. England and France were… surprised. This child looked much like England did during his punk stage. "Can it Gin. I was just with these guys." York said, pointing over her shoulder with her thumb at the countries. "Nations, this is Ginny." "DON'T CALL ME GINNY, YANK! Hang on..." He peered at the nations, and his gaze stopped on England. 'Mass' saw where his gaze went, sighed, and said, "Look dude, Ah hate him too, but we have to be civil." "WHY DO SO MANY OF YOU CHILDREN BLOODY HATE ME?!" York grinned. "We don't all hate you, dude. Only three hate you, and you've met them: South, Mass, and Ginny*. There are ten more, me and Peaches-" "Peaches and I." "Whatever. Peaches and I included, that either dislike you or just don't care about you, but will probably insult you a bit." 'Mass' coughed and said, "As fascinating as this is, we should go. We'll stop by the studio on the way, though, listen ta what you guy's ah doin'. Let's go countries. Canada, you stayin' oh gahin'?" "Staying. I need to have a talk with Nova about safety." "Kk. Onward!" And again 'Mass' led the nations.
A couple minutes later, as the countries were walking down a hallway (Hungary was holding Austria's hand so he didn't get lost), they passed by a door and the teens stopped. 'Ginny' grinned at them, and said, "This is one of the best bands you will ever hear. Let's go Yorkie!" He opened the door and stepped inside, leaving the door open for the countries to go through. "Go inside if you want, guys. There 're seats and stuff, but we're only gonna be here a couple minutes, so don't get comfortable." Taking 'Mass's' advice, the countries filed into the room and took seats. In the center of the room was a drum set, a soundboard, and a couple of electric guitars. 'York' went to the soundboard, and 'Ginny' picked up a red guitar. "Ve~ I thought York was blind." Italy said. 'South' smiled. "She is. But she memorized the soundboard so she didn't have to stop playing. Oh, here come Ari and Dela." 'Ari' and 'Dela' were two more girls, and although 'Dela' seemed the same age as the rest of the teens, 'Ari' looked younger – about 12 or 13. 'Dela' was tall, and had a sweet face and short, light blond hair, along with glasses and slightly bushy eyebrows. Basically, she looked like Sweden and Finland, but had a couple traits from both England and America. She headed over to the drums. 'Ari' looked a bit like Mexico: Same dark hair, tanned skin, and brown eyes, but she had traits from America as well, with glasses and a little curl at the top of her head.* She went and picked up the black guitar. "What kind of music do they play?" "Punk. Now hush, 'cause this is always a sight to see.
'Ginny' started strumming his guitar, and 'Ari' soon joined in. After a couple of seconds, 'Ginny' added his voice into the mix.
"Don't wanna be an American idiot!"
More guitar strumming, drums mixed in.
"Don't wanna nation under the new media."
Guitar and drums
"And can you hear the sound of hysteria?"
Guitar and drums
"The subliminal mind fuck America."
All four kids sang now
"Welcome to a new kind of tension,
all across the alien nation,
where everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow,
we're not the ones who're meant to follow,
for that's enough to argue!"
Guitar and drums
Now 'York' was singing.
"Well maybe I'm the faggot America!"
Guitar and drums
"I'm not a part of a redneck agenda!"
Guitar and drums
'Ari' sang next.
"Now everybody, do the propaganda!"
Guitar and drums
"And sing along to the age of paranoia."
Guitar and drums
All four kids sang,
"Welcome to a new kind of tension,
all across the alien nation,
where everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow,
we're not the ones who're meant to follow,
for that's enough to argue!"
Guitar and drums
Guitar solo (Ari)
'Dela' sang
"Don't wanna be an American idiot!"
'Ginny'
"One nation controlled by the media!"
'York'
"Information age of hysteria!"
'Ari'
"It's calling out to idiot America."
All four
"Welcome to a new kind of tension,
all across the alien nation,
where everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow,
we're not the ones who're meant to follow,
for that's enough to argue!"
Guitar and drums.
'Mass' motioned for the nations to leave. They followed her out the door, silent for once. They were processing what they just heard.
Once they were outside, England turned to 'South'. "They seemed like some self-aware Americans." 'Mass' laughed humorlessly. "Self-aware? We're all self-aware, lobster-back*. Most of us Americans are smarter than we seem, including the one you're about to see."
Germany frowned. "What do you mean? America never seems very smart."
"My point exactly, Germany. It's always good to have a trump card. How do you think we won the Cold War? Or the Revolution, a fledgling country against an undefeated empire? Do you think America could have gotten to where he was without some brains? I thought not. You've all seen him be serious before, but just thought that those were just rare moments of maturity. Ask Russia what America can be like. Or Belarus, Liet, Canada, many Middle Eastern countries, Mexico, or Prussia for that matter. He's not always a shits-and-giggles guy. It's all a facade, you know. We have the largest military force in the world, our economy dwarfs yours, we got to the fucking moon first, and, if one you pisses us off, can just block off your trade."
The countries were stunned. They all knew this, of course, but it was easy to forget with America's apparent stupidity. To learn it was all an act… well, let's just say that most of the countries decided to keep an eye on America from now on.
South broke in then. "Not to mention, he's been training us since we could walk."
"Ve~ what do you mean, bella?" "I'll show you." She walked over to a room with a red door and a diamond design in the center* and said, "Some of us have rooms on this floor. Those are the unlucky ones, in my opinion. But only five do, and they chose it, so… anyway. Moving on." The nations sweatdropped. She seemed… easily distracted. 'South' knocked on the door, shouting "Oi, open the door, Frog! I want you to show the nations something." France grinned and said, "That reminds me Angleterre, many of these children look like you… You must have been very busy, non?" "What are you implying?!" "Well-" "Quiet, both of you!" 'Mass' hissed.
"Ark? ARK? OPEN THE FRICKEN' DOOR IDIOT!" The door opened slightly, and they heard a feminine voice say, "What 'chu want?" "I need you to show the nations sumthin'. Open the door." The door opened wider, and the nations saw the owner of the voice. Two were in shock. 15 years old, light blond hair, crystal blue eyes… she was the splitting image of…
"Jeanne?" She peered at France. "Yeah. That's me. Jeanne A. Jones, but most people call me Ark. Or Twenty-Five. You must be France. It's always nice to meet my patron country." "Quoi?" "That will be explained later." 'Mass' broke in hurriedly. She then turned to 'Ark' "They don't know yet. May we come inside?" "Sure. But not all y'all 're goin' to fit."
In the end, France, England, China, the Italys, Germany, Spain, and Japan fit in the room, while the Nordics, Sealand, South Korea, Austria, Hungary, and Poland looked in from the door. Belarus, Lithuania, Russia, and Prussia just waited outside, as they knew what was going to be shown and had seen it before.
'Ark' tied a blindfold around hear head and positioned herself in front of a target on the far side of the wall. She held her hand out, and 'Mass' gave her a belt of knives. 'Ark' tied it around her waist, took one out, and threw it.
Thwak!
Bullseye.
'Mass' then motioned for France to come over, and set an apple on his head. "Turn around Ark. Apple on France's head, six o' clock." 'Ark' picked up another knife and…
Thwack!
Speared the apple through the center and pinned it to the back wall.
'How the bloody hell did you learn to do that?!" "America. Like I said, he's been training us since we were enfants. Ark's good with knives, lot's of us are good with guns, the list goes on." "What has Amérique been training you for?" "War. He expects it. Plus, he wants us to be able to take care of ourselves incase he isn't around to protect us. But he's next door, so you can ask him in a second. Those of you that know the drill, are you staying or going." "I'm going. I want to speak to mien little birdies. Kesese." "Staying. Sunflower's in there, Da?" "I'm staying with Big Brother." "Um- Bela I think he's losing blood circulation… I'll stay with you guys." "M'kay then." 'South' went and knocked on a door across the hall. It opened and she gestured for them to follow. They all filed in and stared at the huge office, and then at America. Mexico was behind the desk with him, and they were both talking to two kids, about 10 years old. All four of them looked up, and America shot a look at Mexico. She nodded, grabbed the kids by both hands and walked to the side of the room.
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America P.o.V
America looked around his office. It was big, so he could yell at multiple states at once*. But now, back to the matter at hand. He looked at the nations in his office, sighed, and said, "I'm guessing you guys are wondering why you're here." "No, we were just here for some bloody tea!" "Cut the sarcasm, Britain. I'm about to explain, so calm down. All of you, have a seat." They did, and he started right in. "So, all of you have been wondering about the weird kids that have been walking around, yes?" "Ja, we have. And they seem to know are names and country statuses, making them threats to international security. Care to explain?" "I'm getting to that dude. Has anyone figured out what's been going on? Due to names and everything?" Finland and Sweden raised their hands. "Nice! Well, these kids are mine." "What the bloody hell do you mean, yours?!" "I mean that they're mine, British dude. My kids." "Onhonhonhon. You must have been very busy the past couple decades." "Not like that. I mean, they're my states. Personified."
"EH?!"
"QUE?!"
"NANI?!"
"QOUI?!"
"Jesus! Calm down! I'm not the only one with 'em! Mattie – or Canada – has 'em too!"
"My petite Mathieu has enfants?"
"Who did you think those kids were?! They were his provinces!"
"Ok. America-san has chirdren. I can dear with that. But who's who? Who were the ones we met?" America looked at 'Mass'. "You can explain. I'm not sure which ones they met. "K." She stepped up and started talking.
"I'm Massachusetts, AKA Boston M. Jones. South is South Carolina, AKA Caroline S. Jones. York is New York, or Addison N. Jones. Peaches is Georgia, or Jason G. Jones. The two kids with Canada are some of his provinces: Nova Scotia, or Nova S. Williams, and New Brunswick, or Ansel N. Williams. Ginny is Virginia, or Lance V. Jones. Dela is Delaware, or Tina D. Jones. Ari is Arizona, or Nayeli A. Jones. Ark is Arkansas, or Jeanne A. Jones. That covers all you've met so far, I think." Hungary gestured at the two kids with Mexico. "Vell, who are zhey?" Massachusetts looked over and grinned. "Those are Alaska and Hawaii. Well, half of Alaska and Hawaii. The boy being Hawaii, or Aka H. Jones, and the girl being Alaska, or Malvina A. Jones-Braginsky." The nations looked over at the kids, and most of them took a double take. The boy was basically a tiny Japan, just shorter hair and a darker complexion. The girl was a miniature Russia, with long silvery hair, violet eyes, and rosy cheeks. The nations felt a spike of fear. A mini Russia… But most were still surprised when, out of nowhere, Belarus kneeled to the ground and called out, "сланечнік (Sunflower)!" Alaska ran towards Belarus and tackled her into a hug. "Aunt Bela!" Tearing their eyes away from the sight, the nations turned towards America. "O-okay." Said Japan. "America-san has kids. Berarus is being sweet. I can kind of understand… I guess. But what do you mean by harf?" "Some of my states have more than one personification. Mostly ones that used to be countries. Texas has two, because they were a Republic for a while, Hawaii has three: The Hawaiian Kingdom, an adult, and then two more, kids. Vermont had two, because he was a country for a while, but his counterpart… It'll be explained later. California has two, because they were a Republic for a bit as well. Alaska has two because of how big the state is, and Pennsylvania has two as well." "Ve~ Why does Pennsylvania have two?" Italy asked. America smiled grimly. "Pennsylvania had a lot of Prussian influence. Once he was dissolved, that influence stopped, and a new personification was born. Most expected the old one to fade, but she's still around. She's probably in the music room with him right now actually." "That actually makes sense." Hungary said. "But vhy do zhey look so much like us?" Massachusetts grinned. "I'll explain. See, the more influence from a country we have, the more we look like them. Technically this makes us your kids. Have fun processing that!" Laughing hysterically, she ran out of the office. "'m k'y th'n. 'm'r'ca, c'n y'' 'xpl''n a b't m'r'?" "Sure. States are teens, except the Alaskas and the two little Hawaiis, who are physically ten. Territories are toddlers. My old territories, now countries, AKA Palau, Micronesia, the Marshall Islands, and the Philippines, know. So does Cuba, actually. All of 'em are here. Family reunion." "Erm… Cuba hates you America-san. Why wourd he be at your famiry reunion?" "Most of us think of him as a cousin, so he has almost no choice in coming." "Okay..."
"So, I'm gonna have to give you a couple guides. I think… He leaned toward a microphone on his desk. "This is an intercom." He explained. Pressing a button, he spoke. "Delaware and Arizona, come to the office. Now." The nations heard footsteps, and the door swung open. "I swear I didn't do anything!" Shouted Ari. "Who needs to be punished?" asked Dela. Oh God… more crazies.
After explaining everything to the states Ari turned to America. "Have they filled out their paperwork?" He snapped his fingers. "I knew I was forgetting something! Those of you with paperwork filled out may leave and search for your favorites. Dela, go get the paperwork." Lithuania, Alaska, Belarus, and Russia left, and Delaware went to a filing cabinet. She pulled out a stack of papers, and set one in front of each nation. "Sign these, and then read them." The nations signed, and then started reading. "Aiyah! What is this, aru?! 'America is not responsible to any injuries'?! 'If you make someone cry, scream, or uncomfortable America takes no responsibility for what their siblings may do'?! 'If you try to kidnap or take back one of the states, you are responsible for your actions and will be punished accordingly'?! What the hell, aru?!" "It's just precautions. Girls, start the tour."
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A few minutes and one punch later, the nations were in the hall again. Their guides turned to them and chorused, "Welcome to the Heart Home!" And then suddenly…
*BANG*
*CRASH*
"MY HAIR!"
"THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!"
"...We hope you survive your stay."
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A/N: Done! I hope you enjoyed that! I worked my ass off to get it to you. It's late, but the length should make it up to you. Also, to anyone wondering about Massie's accent, it only shows up sometimes. Review! They fuel me.
1: State flags.
2: My attempt at describing the Alaska, Alabama, and Texas flags.
3: Georgia was founded by the Scots
4: Georgia peaches, dude. Delicious.
5: OK AMERICA DOES NOT HAVE NUKES AIMED AT OTHER COUNTRIES HOLY SHIT
6: This song is called 'Canadian, Please" and you need to see it if you haven't
7: Canadian provinces are frickin' weird, man.
8: Virginia flag
9:The 'We hate England!' Trio
10: Heritage will be explained later
11: We are, actually. Most of us know how crappy it can be here, and are smarter than we act. Fear us.