Okay wow. I am not a very detailed writer I normally rush and make mistakes, but this... well this is over 10,000 words long. Maybe its because Im trying to make Adira seem real and detailed in her thoughts and also try and make sure people understand where she fits into which part of the story. Anyways... I've only read it through quickly, so any mistakes, please make me aware (and considering how long it is, wht scene too) thanks you. I still need to read through, though considering that this took almost 3 full days in front of the screen trying to make it make sense. I watched the episode frame by frame almost lol! Oh... and if you haven't noticed I've changed few scenes and I've also gave Gwen a less important role in it because at the moment, she's stalking Merlin like anything and it's pissing me off so I've changed it for Adira and I've tried to make it make sense. If it doesn't, please do let me know :)
Anyways again the offer for someone to beta is greatly considered. and I'd appericate it all the same :) Oh and if you have any questions, compliments or critisism (as long as they are about the work) and not my writing style or offence to anyone with what Ive wrote . Don't like it don't read. Simple! Oh and Season 4 starts tonight YAY. I cant wait... what I'll probably do is start moaning about it at some point about horrible or upsetting something worse! So sorry if you haven't seen it, I'll let you know when Spoliers are involved and I'll try and keep them to a minimum! okay? :)
Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin. Who else wants to cry because they don't?
I know it's long winded, I just hope you all find it worth it... Enjoy, Also you'll have to be patient with chapters... this was only written so fast cuz I was ill for almost a week doing it almost the whole time so.. :)
The poison chalice
Something was off. Maybe it was the fact that Mary had found out the reason she was ill last week. She's pregnant. I congratulated her but now that she's a couple months along she can't do any of the heavy lifting or bending that her job requires and I didn't blame her for wanting to stay at work, but also to not do anything that will harm the baby so I had to tell her to take time off. To get some rest and I promised her I'd still pay her what I could to support her and her baby. I must admit even if that baby wasn't mine I felt some kind of responsibility for it. If it was going to grow up in my families kingdom them I was going to support it whether people knew it or not.
But still I was unsettled as I made my way towards Gaius's chambers to learn a little more about 'magic' or 'skills' as we've learnt to say in a public place. We got weird looks and I'm sure some people think we were more than friends, that we were romantically involved and the 'skills' we were talking about were the sexual kind. Which made me shiver even after almost a month of coming to terms with people obviously thinking it. Not because it angered me but because the thoughts the words brought haunts my secretist of dreams.
Or maybe the reason I was so on edge was because of lord Balan of Mercy, our neighbouring kingdom that father stupidly started a feud with when he was a mere prince. Sometimes I wondered how many allies Camelot had before father became old enough to destroy them. But I'd always found the man pleasant enough, kissed my hand, called me 'my lady' and whenever the rare times I did see him he always stopped to ask how I was. Maybe it was the fact that he had a daughter my age, who was already married off and in another kingdom quiet a distance away and I reminded him or her. But whatever the reason I had little reason to hate him, father did on the other hand but I'm too tired to try and understand or even listen to the reasons to why from Father. Looking up at the sun from the big glass window I knew father and he were probably already in their meeting. I was woken this morning by a dream I dare not even think about, not that I could actually remember it but the haunted way my heart sank as I tried to remember was almost unbearable so I left it and to hooves loudly making their way through town. They (like father) had to be known and had to be bold about it.
I made it to Gaius's chambers in time to not have to catch any of mercy's native people, not that they were unpleasant or anything, it was just I got weird looks from servants never knowing how to treat a foreign princess and the knights just treated me like some prize to be won, but I was already won, to someone who couldn't even see it. Where is that logic in that?
I let myself in feeling welcome and having done this a few times before. I knew Merlin would be at the meeting and Gaius doing his morning runs. It was strange how well I knew almost every day where they'd be or what they'd be doing, well apart from maybe when we have a magical problem with town. Now I knew their little (quiet well hidden) secret, Gaius was more hospitable than ever. Let me read, drink and eat whatever I liked as long as he hadn't instructed me otherwise. I made it a rule to only drink water if I was there and make sure I got someone to return a full bucket for my taking and only took food when I'd been there for most of the day and Merlin was practically forcing me to eat it. The food tasted better here! Strange isn't it? how I prefer the food of two people who seem to barely get by and how skinny Merlin is just proves that... maybe it's the fact that Merlin cooks it, or the fact that I have people who don't care about what they see of me and who don't expect anything from me apart from being myself that it tastes better.
The day seemed to be going well... I'd read up on many creatures, something I was both interested and I feel required to do for the sake of Camelot if Merlin wasn't going to do so, Merlin hated doing himself. I hated the way he was lazy about his abilities, but I guess when he'd had it his whole life it's not really that much of a 'gift' as a part of him, as my royal status (as little as father actually recognises it) is part of me. Realising how much time I'd been away and without reason I quickly put the book back in it's safe place, make sure everything was as I left it and made my way towards the throne room. I was just out of the chambers when Morgana called after me
"Adira... wait please" I stopped as she rushed over as best she could in her overly dramatic dress. She loved to look her best all the time. She hooks arms with me and quickly leads me away towards the throne room chatting a hundred miles an hour about some guy in the Mercy's guard being really good looking, to be honest I gave up listening after she started repeating herself as if to make herself believe it. The closer we came the more blue capes I saw, the more people we had noticing us in awe and that's when the whispers became. That's when we both heard whistles at us. I hated it, I wasn't some object to be used for my beauty I'm a human being with feeling. But Morgana was loving it, the way men were finally noticing her effort, as they always did when they were foreign to our land and our ways. If only they knew my eyes were set somewhere else and Morgana would beat half of them to death before she even felt they were worth of her well apart from this one knight of course.
The thought of that one I had my eyes set on kept me going as the whistles continued. That's when I saw them like a god send. Merlin and Gaius talking and a strange brightly coloured, almost too well dressed servant purposely trip in front of Merlin. I wasn't stupid I knew how to fake trip, I wasn't the only one who noticed either because Morgana had stopped in her tracks just about the same time I had.
"Will men ever learn. Don't worry honey he's eye are only for you really" I shushed her just in time for the girl to walk to us with a wide grin, a small bow and a unnerving glare and almost 'magical' essence in her eyes. I shook my head and ignored it as I pull Morgana along to see father. Turning back only once to see the girl disappear at the call of her supposed name. I had fully intended to pretend I hadn't seen Merlin by walking straight past him while talking to Morgana. But he wasn't going to make it that easy. He never did.
"My lady Morgana, My lady Adira... is there anything I can do to help? it is uncommon to see you at such an hour around here when the king is in meetings all day" I turn sideways on my heels to face Merlin.
"Well who am I to report to about my presences and what have I told you about calling me 'my lady' Merlin. You know it's just Adira" We could all sense the eyes now on us and the silence that had filled the gossiping corridor. But Merlin wasn't going to take the bait so easily. I sometimes wish I hadn't spoken about my childhood and how manipulative me and Arthur were sometimes. Plus how Merlin knew how to look out for things to stop himself getting embarrassed.
"My lady Adira... It is improper of my to call you such a thing, my apologise if that offends you. Report to Arthur who is currently in his chambers" He mumbled "probably being his usual pratty self" he cleared his throat and continued "He will tell the king of your consciousness and that you are well my lady. Do you wish me to accompany you? I am heading that direction myself any how" I smile sweetly at Merlin. Always the perfect gentlemen even in the most frustrating of situations he find a way to make you feel better about what ever made you anger by treating you like you are worthy. A skill I'm sure he will surely come to wisely use in the future. Morgana spoke for the first time, I don't know what she was thinking when she said
"seeing as you are heading our way anyways why not come with us now. We'll get someone to take care of this!" That's when I heard Gaius's laughter which was quickly disguised as an old man's cough, which I knew he used to cover up his actions or to seem weaker or older than he actually was for whatever reason he needed to be so. I found it funny that people us saw him as just an innocent man that has us been too nice to bitter old king. I glanced at him as he bowed quickly before making his presence scarce. I suddenly realised what Morgana was doing when I saw 'Kara' coming back with way.
We headed toward Arthur's chambers in mostly silence, that was until Morgana broke it with being her usual blunt self, which earned her a glare from me.
"Soo.. Merlin. Any ladies caught your interested lately?" He smiles and pats both our shoulders
"Why would I need ladies when I have you beautiful ladies to keep me company and get me out of heavy lifting work?" Avoiding the question isn't going to get him far and he knew it too. But neither of us pushed him on the subject.
I laugh quietly, if only he knew we were doing it to get him as far away that maid 'kara' who I'd heard being called when she had to rush away from Merlin. Something about her was off, wrong, evil even though I'd dare not speak of it to anyone. Morgana was convinced I was in love and jealous. Which indeed I am, but she doesn't need to know that yet and everyone else would likely think the same as her. well everyone apart from Merlin! But Merlin was the 'innocent till proven guilty' type and he was obviously attracted to her in some way. So I just kept my lips shut about the topic which I'm sure I would be proven right sometime soon.
Hours later I was falling asleep, in bed you may think. Well no you are wrong. At the banquet. It was one of the worst parts of being royalty and even with all the power and servants in the world you still needed to listen to other rulers moan about petty things. Not that this treaty is a small thing, but the small issues they put up around it, like walls to stop it and the way the knights of Camelot have kept their wife's or lovers as far away from the Mercy men as possible. But I wasn't completely bored Arthur's bet with me to see if he could get Merlin to wear something more outrageous then he already does (even if I found it very 'him', cute and endearing) and Arthur had won that bet. I was glad all I had to do was deal without my servant for 2 weeks which is what we agreed on if he won.
For Arthur that was punishment. For me... well that was just 2 weeks I would be busier and sleepier than usual and with the nightmares distressing me but me forgetting them by the time I wake up sleepless and unease. I welcomed the chance to keep busy and forget them when they do come and to be so tired when I go to bed that I had little time to worry about nightmares haunting my sleep.
There was far too much clapping and getting up and down during this banquet and watching Kara stare at Merlin as if he was some kind of puppy wasn't helping the turmoil or anger, boredom and aching from getting up and down from my chair was causing.
Oh and here comes another speech as the goblets are brought out as a gift of 'everlasting friendship'. That's when I saw her... rushing towards Merlin, grabbing his arm as she was explaining something distressing to him. Something that for some reason made me restless in my seat, even more so than I already was, my heart was loud in my ears and my breath was forced and uneven. I didn't think my unrest could get any worse until they left together, Merlin sending me a look I know will haunt me. Those moments that they were gone as the goblets were filled with liquid were the most agonising of my life and I feared for what that meant.
So we stood, goblets in hand, of course me and Morgana didn't get a present goblet we just got our usual ones. I tried to plant a small smile on my face, mainly because Morgana was looking at me as if to see if I was still breathing obviously seeing my distress.
"To your health Uther, Arthur..." Arthur went to take a sip "Lady Adira" I nodded at him in politeness, again Arthur went to drink "Lady Morgana and to the people of Camelot" I could almost see Arthur's 'finally' look on his face. But then father spoke
"And to fallen warriors on both sides" And that was it. The moment to get us all out of here. The moment I had to stop myself screaming, I knew something was wrong. I had this urge to spill Arthur's drink, make a fool out of myself but keep Arthur... To keep Arthur what? I had no idea what I was thinking. I was frozen in place and that's when I heard it. Merlin's shouting, pained voice
"Stop, don't drink it, it's poison!" That's when he appeared, he snatched the Goblets from Arthur's hands and I felt myself breath for the first time in what felt like ages. But that didn't last long as Father and Arthur argued over what to do with the situation. My mind kept repeating 'don't drink it, no one drink it, don't drink it' as if some sub-conscious chant was breaking through the cracks in my mind and it scared me soo much.
MERLIN WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? I wanted to scream at him. I wanted to make him stop, I wanted to punch and scream at father for causing this death death situation for Merlin for doing nothing but trying to protect Arthur's life that he so preciously cares about himself. Arthur was going to drink it, Balan and now Merlin. I'd drink it if I had the ability to speak, this was a 'men's' situation and father always made sure me and Morgana were quiet in these situation and besides I was starring at Merlin so intensely I saw nothing else. He held out the goblet before turning to me and smiling weakly and said
"I must say... if these are my last words. It's been an honour serving you" he's eyes met mine as he took in the whole goblets condense and I held my breath as tears misted my eyes. No don't you dare Merlin. What felt like days had past and if I hadn't been so scared of what might of happened and the look of downright fear in Merlin's eye I might have spend that time starring at Merlin in such an affectionate way. He pulled the goblet away from his lips and waiting as the whole room seemed to be holding its breath.
Arthur was looking at him with a look of fear, let's see him try and deny how much he cares now. Morgana was looking at me in such pain as if he was already gone, I dared not to look at her. Father's face was trained into a blank expression but I saw the fear for the situation, not for Merlin though. Gwen was just as teary eyed as me and I found little reason to care about that as he looked down as he continued to wait. Merlin turned back to see the other king his expression of disbelief, of slight anger that it wasn't poison. But something kept me in my place, something deep within me fuelled the tears that were streaming down my face. The room was so quiet as I mumbled
"Oh Merlin... you idiot" He looked at me in an apologize. Why must he be kind even in his death situation? He's apologize for dying? what kind of a bloody idiot is he?
Everyone was waiting for something so when Merlin finally spoke. He said
"It's fine" Father merely sat down from the place he stood in front of his throne chair and stated.
"All yours" But no it wasn't over, he was going pale.. Too Pale for it to be from the fear of the sword Balan was now drawing to him, he was becoming unwell, he was becoming affect by the poison and that's when he brought his hand to his throat. It obviously hurt and I was at his side before he had the chance to fall to the ground. I grabbed his limp body as he fell doing my best to get him to the floor safely. The chalice rolling out of his hand as I rested his hand in my lap.
"Merlin... please" I whispered to him. The room had become painfully silent, the atmosphere filled with mistrust and vengeance for a life they surely did not even care about. I wasn't even paying attention as I continued in my attempts to wake him. When I look up at Arthur Gaius and he are already with Merlin, checking him over. Arthur's hand on my shoulder as my tears continued to spill. Father was shouting at the guards and all swords were once again drawn and the tension in the room, even with me crying I could sense the swift change and the thoughts of betrayal heavy within it.
But was it so wrong that I sided with Balan? I knew Balan wouldn't do this. I knew he wasn't the type of man to poison someone to get to father. Even if he was aware that Arthur was fathers prized child, he wouldn't do it not after he had to suffer losing a child during birth. Most men wouldn't have been affecting considering how often it happens but Balan he took it so hard it almost crush him.. Even if I never actually knew the situations I knew pain and I knew the type of pain he bared every day as he wished his child was with him to see what he had.
So who was to poison Arthur? who was the poison actually meant for Arthur, anyone knew that Merlin knew he would protect what was right and Arthur with his life. Those who knew what Merlin did the first day he arrived is prove of that. So who? Kara? Could it be? I turn swiftly to see her smirking face as Arthur picked Merlin up at the order of Gaius to bring him to his chambers, with a quick instruction to bring the goblet I picked it up before fleeing the door, sparing Father my most hateful glare before rushing with them, almost glad I had the style of comfortable dresses and flat shoes that I could move swiftly on my feet in.
I wasn't even aware Gwen was with us until we got to the chambers and Gaius started ordering her about after Merlin was placed on the bed. As she brought the flannel back to Gaius, he handed it to me, knowing I need to touch him. Needed to feel him still breathing to control my tears, my worries. That's when Gwen asked the most stupid question
"You can cure him can't you Gaius?" It's poison you stupid girl. Unless the poison is known antidote is still unknown. Gaius speaking my explanation more calmly as I rested the flannel on his forehead, forcing it down the stop the burning heat I felt from it. Gaius then got up and took the Goblet from a slow moving Gwen. Doesn't she realise time is of the essense?
I continued to pat his forehead, wetting the flannel again as Gaius found the flower petal inside the goblet, Arthur patted my back quickly reassuring me before asking Gaius what it was. I grabbed Merlin's hand as I continued to keep his head cool.
"His brows on fire Gaius" Gaius merely turned to me and spoke
"Keep doing what you are doing Adira. I promise I'm doing everything I can" That's when Gaius explained what the flower was and where the antidote is. That's when his words I couldn't understand turned to 'cockatrices'. Nasty creature they are. I turn to them
"Cockatrices guard the forest of Balor, their venom so poisons one drop and it's certain death" Gwen was quietly shocked, Arthur on the other hand was nodding in understanding. Even at a young age I was the sort of person who liked to know what we were dealing with before we did something, even if it was a simple prank. I liked to know when where who would it be most effective. Arthur teased me that by the time I die I'll have read almost all the book in the library, if only he knew how completely wrong he was. I've read most of them by now, that's why I was so glad when the magical books became available to read, a new topic. A forbidden one but the most interesting.
As Gaius spoke the rest of the passage in the book, I was Arthur's plan. Even before he'd considered it. I knew he'd do it, for me who cared about Merlin a great deal, but also for himself, he care about Merlin and if he ever tried to deny it again I would remind him of this. Gaius was arguing with Arthur when he set to leave for his mission and that's when he asked the question, the question in my head I've been so determined to avoid
"If I don't get the antidote what happens to Merlin?" Gaius then went into his scientific knowledge and explaining he had 5 days before Merlin would surely die a most painful death. My heart was being ripped in so many directions that I didn't know what to do apart from cling to his hand stronger, in a silent plead to get him to wake up. That's when Arthur left, to armour up to leave with or without fathers permission. Thought he'd still ask for it whether I wanted him to or not. I shouted after him just before he left
"Arthur... bring him back, bring back my friend please" He nods "Oh and Arthur, I love you and be careful" He didn't make his usual snide comment, he merely walked up to me kissed my forehead softly, rested his hand on my cheek a little too long and then left before anyone could try and stop him (including himself). Gwen made her excuses to leave, saying she had to tend to Morgana. As soon as she was gone I turned to Gaius
"Is there nothing magically we can do Gaius? there must be something!" Gaius pulls me into a quick hug as my tears became too much to bare
"I'm sorry my dear girl, the best we can do is use what little magic we can to prolong his life for the amount of time Arthur needs, though it won't work indefinitely. There will come a time where the poison is too strong to be fought with anything but it's antidote" I nod, sopping silently into his chest for a moment, before whipping my tears and grabbed a chair to sit at Merlin's side. No way was I going to leave him if he needed me. Gwen walked back inside obviously spoken to Morgana and feeling better about being here. How selfish she is sometimes, even if Morgana had kicked me out of Camelot for not serving her I wouldn't care if it was truly for the man she supposedly loves.
She smiles at me gently and says
"Morgana says to make sure you get some Rest before the night is over my lady. Though I doubt even Gaius could pull you away from his side. But heed her words please my lady" I smile gently back her, this was no time more my stupid jealous and said
"I will Gwen thank you. But I'll be here for a while, you go and see to what you need to at home. I'm sure your father is worried about you and come back once you are rested and fed" Gwen nods in understanding that I wanted alone time with Merlin. Gaius had fled the room in search of some more in depth books about this poison and who could get their hands on it.
Moments later Morgana came rushing in, over hearing Fathers and Arthur's arguments and Arthur's banishment to his room, guards escorting him. I rushed out of the chambers after I'd instructed Morgana what to do if something happens and to keep his forehead cool. As soon as she understood I ran, not caring who saw me so un-lady like towards Arthur's chambers.
As I came in hearing distance of the room I pulled my dress down, out on the heels I always kept hidden behind the flower plants by Arthur's room, in case I need to be heard when walking, it'd happened as a way of me not disturbing Arthur while he was 'talking' to girls. I made sure my clip up in some many places hair was as controlled as it could be before clicking my heels and entering the room slowly, my hands held in front of me in a royal, lady like way.
When I entered the room the doors where wide open, Arthur was leaning against the fire place, obviously distressed and just as restless as I was.
"Arthur" He turned to me.
"There is nothing I can do Adira... father had me under watch" I smile at him
"And you think that's going to stop you? stop us? hmm? what happened to the Arthur would could avoid 5 guards just so he could ride on his horse on the outer parts of the kingdom?" He wasn't laughing but a small smile as playing on his lips.
"Same old plan then my lady?" he bowed at me, I curtsied and rushed for the plan. I walked past the guards outside Arthur's room, only 2 of them. I smile at them sweetly and I trip over my heel. Falling snack on my face, it didn't even hurt the amount of time's I'd done it while trying everything (but failing) to learn how to walk in heels properly. Both guards were fanatic enough to offer me a hand up, as Arthur slipped out and ran out the corridor as effective as he could. I smile at the guards sweetly as they dust me off and ask again and again if I was okay.
I try to walk but stumble onto one of the guards and answer their question
"No I'm not...my ankle I think it's bruised. Could you help me to Gaius? I know he's busy but I would like to be around him when he gets a free moment.
"But my lady the prince might try to leave!" I laugh and rest my hand almost suductively on his chest
"He doesn't even have to know you were gone... He's so anxious he won't try anything for a while cuz he thinks you are still there... please? I don't think I can get there with just one mans help" My plans were brilliant I just wish I'd know how good an actress I was around Merlin, my walls came crashing down around the man.
Minutes later, I heard the rumours start to fill the corridors and the fact that Arthur's horse had been stolen by a mystery knight. I was trying my best to hide the smug smile on my face as we reached Gaius's chambers. Merlin still looked ill and pale, Morgana was jumping at the sight of me being moved into the room by two guards. Morgana took control
"Leave us, get back to your posts. There might be others who are poisoning people! Goo" The guards took little time arguing as they rushed out of the room. Morgana then spoke to me from the chair
"What happened to your ankle?" I jump down the chair and take my seat next to Merlin and put the flannel back to his forehead, answering Morgana's question
"Nothing... I had to help Arthur get away from the guards Father had placed on him so he could go and get the antidote for Merlin" Morgana nodded in understanding
"No wonder the men took such little persuading normally I need to offer to tell the king of them being away from their posts for them to leave... anyways he's not getting much better, fevers gotten worse, pulse is a little weaker. I can't watch this and if Father find out we were both involved in this he may never let any of us live after this... I'll go back, be there for him and try in the nicest way possible to get him to see how wonderful Merlin is for Arthur's sake, if not yours okay?" She hugs me from behind quickly and then rushes out of the room in her heels. I pull off my heels and place the flats I made the guard carry here under my feet and slide them on.
I spent the whole night sitting there, I wasn't sure when Gaius returned because I had fallen asleep, my sleep of course plagued with images of reality. I don't know what it was in my dreams that made Gaius wake me, but when I sat up and heard Merlin whispering old tongue words to a lullaby that I couldn't quite understand, something about mothers and trees or something. Merlin had taken the chance to help me understand old tongue in it's basic form with the help of many books from Gaius.
Gaius smiles softly at me before handing me a cup of water
"Adira... You need to drink something please, I don't want another ill patient" I smile at him and accepted the cup, realising the hand of Merlin's which I had been holding all night
"Thank you Gaius, how long has he been humming that lullaby? It's sounds beautiful what is he saying?" Gaius sat down beside me and stated the words Merlin continued to sing
"Sleep, baby, sleep
Your father tends the sheep
Your mother shakes the dreamland tree
And from it fall sweet dreams for thee
Sleep, baby, sleep
Sleep, baby, sleep
Sleep, baby, sleep
Our cottage vale is deep
The little lamb is on the green
With snowy fleece so soft and clean
Sleep, baby, sleep
Sleep, baby, sleep... It was one his mother use to sing to him all the time, he told me that whenever he thought of it, it brought him comfort to know his mother was wishing him pleasant dreams... He's obviously using his magical tongue to sing it to you" I glance up at Gaius trying to swallow the water in my mouth
"Me?" He laugh a little
"My dear girl, you've been so restless in that chair all night. Merlin obviously sub-consciously senses your distress and was singing to you. You did settle for a while, in fact for most of the night you were still and quiet and Merlin just hummed it over and over... until just now when you were waking but your dreams still turning sour, so he started singing again" I smile at Merlin's sweaty ill form.
"Even ill he's thinking of others" Gaius only nodded checking his fever, pulse and then his arm. That's when he saw the rash
"Rashes aren't meant to come till the very end..." I got up, placing the cup down
"So what does that Mean Gaius?" Gaius sighs
"It means that he only has 2 days. It says in this book that if an Enchantment is used the effect with come quicker" We locked eyes, there was only one person I knew of that would even attempt this. Gaius stated
"But she wouldn't dare do this" I shake my head.
"Kara... that girl who was talking to Merlin before he came stopped Arthur drinking from the goblet... she was brown haired and quiet beautiful. God I knew something was wrong with her, no maid is that well kept" Gaius then says
"Go see if you can find her... we must find her" I rushed out of the room, handing Gaius the flannel I still had in my hand and went to the cell with all the Mercy's maids and servants were. I checked and double checked no Kara and I knew her face well enough to be sure of it. As I rushed back to Gaius's Father caught me
"ADIRA... MY CHAMBERS NOW!" I swallowed my fear of father's tone and followed him towards Morgana's chambers, were she too was going to get a firm yelling at. Once inside he started rambling, about how irresponsible we were, how stupid Arthur was over a lowly servant, I wanted no more than right now to hit him. But Morgana's hand on my arm held me in place.
"I parasitically told Arthur NOT to go, I put guards at his door" I muttered
"I see it worked like a charm too" Uther pointed at me.
"Not another word from you" I smirk at him, Morgana giving me the same smile
"My lips are sealed" Then father started rambling again
"I should have put him under lock and key" Morgana then spoke
"You can't chain him up every time he disagrees with you" Morgana meant it to be reassuring that sometimes he'll do what he wants whether father really wanted it or not. But father of course was having no such argument
"Just you watch me... I will not be disobeyed" Oh if only he knew how little we actually did obey then he might think differently. "Especially by my own children" Morgana slide into the chair and started writing. Trying very hard to act as if she hadn't heard me mumble
"No of course you won't" Father was piecing me with accusing eyes, leaning against the table.
"You knew about this didn't you Adira?" I avoid his eye.
"No" But he wasn't having it
"Adira, Morgana. Don't lie to me" I sigh
"Arthur's old enough to make decisions for himself. As am I" Father stated
"He's just a boy and you still only a girl" Erm hello we're 23 years old.
"Have you seen you're son recently? have you actually been paying attention at all... just last week one of the knights offered to marry me because he thought I was some kind of angel" Morgana cut in before father could process what I had said and start asking about it
"You have to let him make his own mind up" Father was always dramatic but this was one time he actually was being serious but it doesn't surprised me how 'caring' he seems to me, all he cares about is his authority being challenged. If Arthur had gone with father's blessing I'm sure he wouldn't have battered an eye lid. There was many times father had risked Arthur and My life for reason that got in the way of his pride and his perfect image as king.
"Even if it leads him to his death" I stormed out of the chambers and back to Merlin's side as quickly as possible to relay the information I had gotten hours ago. I rushed inside the chambers and Gaius started
"Let me guess she wasn't there?" and that's when I noticed Gwen sitting in my chair next to Merlin.
"No, No one has seen her since the banquet. Guards said someone had left on a horse mere minutes after Merlin was rushed here. But they couldn't see her face, it was covered with a dark cloak" Gwen stood up
"But who is she?" I sigh at her nosiness
"A powerful sorcerers that was the reason for the plague a month ago. Which means- Oh No!"Gaius seemed to followed my train of thought. Gwen was clueless
"What?" I sigh at her, was she really that clueless?
"Arthur... She obviously knows the place to get the antidote if she can get the poison. She could be setting some kind of trap for him" I dreaded to think of what she would do and once again my tears became uncontrollable I was angry, at myself, at Merlin, at Arthur, mostly at Father and Nimuer. But what could I do, I just sat at Merlin's side and prayed.
Prayed for his safety, prayed for Merlin's life, prayed for my sanity. Merlin seemed to sense something was deeply wrong, because he started whispering Arthur's name and repeating over and over
"Don't trust her. It's a trap. Don't trust her it's a trap" I grab his hand, re-wet the flannel and sing to him
" Sleep, baby, sleep...
Your father tends the sheep
Your mother shakes the dreamland tree
And from it fall sweet dreams for thee
Sleep, baby, sleep
Sleep, baby, sleep" Merlin started mumbling it with me, I smile slightly at him
"Shh Merlin it's okay. It'll all be okay we won't let anything happen to you... but promise me you'll fight it. For me, for Arthur, for your mother you HAVE to fight it" He started chanting something, the old tongue was more rhythm like. I knew he was seeing something awful, somerhing heart breaking because he started chanting loud, more despite for it to work.
He started complaining about how dark it was for Arthur and then his chanting changed an Gaius pulled the blanket away to reveal a ball of light in his hand, that's when it all became clear, He was trying to save Arthur, not himself. He feared for Arthur life and he was seeing where he was. I grabbed his hand and pulled it to my face, I whispered into the light
"Follow me Arthur... Follow this light, don't look back, don't ask question, trust me. Trust that I'm your only hope... Move Arthur don't stop keep going. Keep moving. Please" The ball disappeared and Merlin was shaken with a violent shake, he was getting hotter. And not in the looks kinda of way.
I didn't dare think of the amount of strength he lost just doing what I take could have been quiet a simple spell, The last day at been the most painful of my life. I could come to turns with his death. I would seek revenge for Nimuer all my life but I would still understand and come to turns. But this waiting to see if he'll live. To see if he has the mental strength to fight what will eventually kill him for long enough for Arthur to bring the antidote I was sure he now had. The question as whether he'd get home in time to save him.
I was ready to say goodbye, I was ready to hug him and cry of joy when he survived, I was ready to do anything but sit here his hand held to my face, as more tears fell. Again he was singing his lullaby, his voice was weaker and his delusional state was become more and more panicked and I've never been so scared of anything in my life. Just when I was losing my patients with sitting still while looking at Merlin's ill form Morgana came bursting through the door. Out of breath and red with sweat
"Arthur... arrest... talkin... Uther... has flower... Go!" She said between breaths and I wasted no time waiting around. I ran full speed, let the wind in my face wipe my tears and ran to the dungeons where Arthur was. My presences was sooo unexpected that Father couldn't stop me from rushing into the cell and pulling Arthur into a tight hug. Arthur laughed as he hugged me back, placing something inside the pouch I always had around my waist. Arthur pulls away kissing my forehead
"Hey hey... No need to cry... Look your good old brothers okay!" I slap his arm playfully
"You prat. You could have gotten yourself killed. God I hate you..." I then pull him into another quick hug, whispered my thanks and turned to Father.
"So Arthur what happened?" It was a logical question and father too seemed to want to know.
"A women, she found me in the forest led me to the flowers, but she attacked me. She was a sorcerers and a powerful one. I think she may have been the one who poisoned me" Father growled
" It was Balan of course it was" Arthur then pulled a flower out of his pouch.
"Gaius knows what to do with it" I was about to grab it when Father reached and pinched it
"Adira... Out now!" I didn't argue, father soon followed slammed the cell door behind himself and then said
"You have to learn that there is a right and wrong way of doing things... I'll see that you are let out in a week... Adira you are not allowed to visit him, Morgana either. Are we clear? and then Arthur can find himself another servant " I bow my head even though I was just as enraged as Arthur looked right now
"Yes sire" Arthur was glaring at him in such a rage, I thought he'd burst but as soon as Father was turns his back, he winked at me and that was my cue to leave. Father had taken the flower with him after crushing it in his hand. I rushed back to Gaius's chambers with the flower in my pouch now in hand. I rushed into the chambers
"Gaius the flower... it's here" I looked over at Merlin was who shifting restlessly and wheezing his eye a blocky red. His lips as pale as his ill skin. Gaius grabbed the flower from me quickly and set to work. It was lucky that Arthur had two flowers. It was lucky that I'd gone to see him when I had, but still I couldn't help but dread the 'what if's' and 'maybe's' in my mind. I rushed to his side, grabbing his sweaty hand
"Merlin come on.. hold on, we have the flower... Arthur is save admittedly under arrest, but still safe and a prat, you cannot and will not die on me. You're my friend. You are the only man who sees me, father and Arthur try but they don't see it. They don't see I am a women with needs just like Morgana or Gwen or even you're mother. You treat me like a lady because you want to. You treat me like a human being because you believe every person has the right to be heard, to be cared about and I'm so glad you decided to stay. I'm so glad you saved that pratty brother of mine's life... I saw so glad when you stood up to father because of how just a kind of man you are. You felt guilty, I know that but I reckon you would have done it anyways... I reckon you would do almost anything for the people you care about and your home" Gaius stopped stirring.
"Adira come here a moment... I need you to repeat after me. I want to see if I can add magic to the poison to counter the enchanted part of the poison... Don't ask question dear girl just do as I ask okay?" I nod, trusting Gaius completely. And so I repeated his words, I had barely enough time to understand he was saying them to repeat them. I wasn't sure what he was saying. But I knew it had something to do with healing and poison and that was enough to convince me that he was getting me to cast a spell of healing.
As I continued to enchanted Gaius put the mixture tub in my hands I closed my eyes to concentrate. It was only when the spell was over that I realised I was saying it without Gaius speaking it. The mixture bubbled a horrible witchy green. I just knew the spell without being told and I felt a surge of power run through me and a burning in my eyes, I saw enough in the mirror to see them shine that familiar gold that had long since faded when I had my nightmares. I always knew my dreams could be magic, but I've learnt to deal with them and learnt to mentally prepare myself for whatever happens during the dream. Even if the dream of seeing Merlin like this was forgotten. Something told me that it was just too painful even if my sub-conscious to deal with so it blocked it out but leaked through just enough to give me a sense of warning. Magic was an instinct I was only just becoming familiar with.
Gaius poured it in the container on the table and instructed me to hold his nose. I don't know where Gwen was but she was suppose to me here. Morgana had obviously left ages ago, trying to sneak past the guards who were stopping Arthur from escaping. Gaius poured the liquid into his mouth, almost pleading with him to swallow.
That's when my most feared nightmare can true. His heart stopped, the pulse I always made sure I could feel when I held his hand had disappeared
"Gaius... No he can't be de-" I couldn't finish it my throat closed and my emotions took control, I was shaking, well more like rocking back and forward, my tears stung with each blink as I tried to clear them.
"He can't be dead, it was his destiny to rule at Arthur's side. His destiny to be the greatest and kindest wizards all of the world and time had ever known... he just can't be" He stood up his anger taking form, with men always thought they'd be angry in the worse of situation, but Gaius wasn't just any man he was a man of healing and he wasn't angry when he couldn't save people, he felt guilty that maybe if he'd known more, been fast giving him the antidote maybe he would have lived. But it wasn't his fault, it was mine
"It's my fault Gaius.. if I'd been here quicker, if I'd been able to use the magic to save him" Gaius pulled me to my feet, kissed my forehead and hugged me close as my tears continued to fall.
"My dear child it is no one's fault but Nimuer you understand me? but if you must blame someone it's me, I should have looked after him better " I didn't move, he kissed my head as I shook with tears and that's when Merlin voice rang into my ears. Was I hearing things? was I seeing thing? when Merlin pulled himself up onto his elbows and said
"ewww you're old enough to be her Grandfather" I laughed, choking my tears for mere 4 seconds before they fell again, but this time of happiness. Gaius had to speak the words I'd wanted to
"Merlin.. you're alive" He laughs, shaking his head
"No... I'm a ghost come back to haunt you" I laugh with him before leaning in and pressing my lips to his quickly, instantly no more than 2 seconds. I pulled away silently and he laughed
"Now if I'd known you'd missed me that much" I laugh as I hug him so tight it must of hurt but he did not complain, he merely wraps his arms around me best he could with still lying in the bed. I could think of a come back to his remark, because the truth was I had missed him and his usual sarcastic sense of humour and the way he reminded me of Arthur in ways no one would know. I didn't have much time to fully come to terms with the fact he was still alive and that I was still sane because a messenger came requesting I return to my quarters as Gaius went to see Father after he was 100% the poison wasn't in Merlin's system and that the colour returned to him and that he ate every meal until he was satisfied Merlin was okay.
During the next week I spent little time denying my presences in Gaius's chambers to visit Merlin, as he was on bed rest for at least the week as Arthur was locked up and no one in desprate need of a servant. I walked in 3 days after I'd had the worst experience of my life to hear Merlin humming a tune. A familiar tune I sang along with him
" Sleep, baby, sleep..." He turned to me, obviously not hearing my approach as I sat in the chair next to him. We sung the rest of the song together
"Your father tends the sheep
Your mother shakes the dreamland tree
And from it fall sweet dreams for thee
Sleep, baby, sleep
Sleep, baby, sleep" Merlin smiled sweetly at me
"You know that lullaby is the only one that sooths me anymore... most others are just a sweet tunes with meaningless lyrics to me. But My mother always said to me 'Merlin Dreams may turn into nightmares, but ever nightmare has the essence of a dream' I think was she was trying to say is that even in all the bad and the pain there is always something worth fighting more, worth loving and that thought has brought me more peaceful sleep than any of Gaius's sleeping drafts" I smiled at him as he explained
"Did you know that during your illness, you started singing it to me in old tongue? I fell asleep the night you were ill, still clinging to your hand. You according to Gaius started humming to me as you stroked my hair because I was having my nightmares... well more like visions. Did Gaius explain to you what my abilities are?" Merlin shook his head
"He said that if and when you wanted to tell me you would and that if you did have magical ability that I wasn't to true to teach you anything apart from how to defend yourself" I laugh
"Very Gaius that is. Anyways I'm basically a Seer, someone who see's the future... According to the book's I read the ability varies, it can be so strong or trained that you can call on the vision if and when you need them, others like me who haven't had training and has come from a very strict bloodline will have these visions in the form of dreams... To be honest I think I'd preferred it when they were just bad dreams. I was the one who cast that spell on your antidote that cured you... the point is, is that I can be more helpful in these situations as long as I can do it when father won't cut my head off" He laughs removing a stray hair from my face, causing me to lose my words
"Adira... I hope you know that I'll be honest with you. If you are always honest with me. No secrets no lies... just you and me fighting whatever plans to attack your father and his twin children comes our way. But that means every nightmare, or vision whether they become real or not you come and tell me. And I'll tell you when I'm worried about things, about when I can't cope! Can we agree to that please?" I nod, still feeling his hand on my cheek, his finger tips leaving a burning on my skin.
That kiss we shared was so magical, but it was so short it wasn't a romantic kiss it was a relief that you're alive kiss and there is a different. His eye were glancing into me at this moment as if he could see my soul but I was still to understand whether Merlin felt the same for me and I wasn't going to get into a relationship with him that I knew was going to end if Father found out. I grabbed his hand and kissed his forehead
"Thank you" He laughs
"You save my life and you're the one saying thank you. why?" I smile
"For not getting embarrassed when I mentioned what you were doing to my hair, for helping Arthur escape Nimuer... for accepting all of me and caring about me all the same. Thank you for being well... You" He laughs
"Well then no problem" I laugh lightly with him as Gwen walks in
"My lady Adira... I did not realise you would be in here... I should leave" I pat Merlin's hand once more.
"No no Gwen please stay. I have to go and see to Morgana's cell, she too has now been locked up for trying day and night to see Arthur. It would seem I'm the only sensible royal child that actually does what Fathers wants..." Merlin scoffed
"Yup you're a little angel" I smile at him, winked so Gwen could see and said
"That's me, not only beautiful but brilliant" Merlin mumbled
"And there you had me believe you weren't related to Arthur" I smacked his arm playfully
"I also have excellent hearing Merlin. Now please if you'll excuse me. Oh and you Mr." pointing at him from the doorway "Eat everything, sleep and if I hear one more sarcastic comment, I'll have you under bed arrest for 3 weeks more" Merlin groaned and shouted at me as I left
"EEEVVIILLL" I laugh and shout back
"AND YOU'D BETTER KNOW IT" he laughed and I left going to talk to father. I was dreading it, but both my siblings were locked up, I needed to get them out a.s.a.p. or at least get father to forget it as soon as they were realised. How did this happen? How did I become the sensible sibling? I mean I was never one for disagreements or confutation but I was never an perfect, do every things Daddy says kind of girl. I was the kind to be silently rebellious, how that got me in more trouble than Arthur and Morgana in the past is still a mystery and how when I rebel in the worst possible way they both end up locked up is either poetic justice or someone upstairs has a set goal or making me confused and frustrated.
4 days later me, Arthur and Morgana stood at the top of the castle looking down at the crowd of Balor's men leaving on horses after the treaty had finally been signed by both kings.
Standing there taking in the wind and trying my best to keep the bright smile that was playing on my lips at bay as Morgana asked
"Let the bragging begin... How did you manage it?" I too wanted to know what Arthur thought of the situation with the ball of light.
"I'm not too sure. All I do know is I had help" Morgana turned to listen to him more. Me I hooked my arm around the one he was using to support himself as he lend again the wall. He continued
"Someone knew I was in trouble and sent out a light to guide the way" Morgana asked, most confused
"Who?" I held my breath, not sure what answer I wanted and what answer I expected
"I don't know Morgana. Whoever it was I'm only here because of them" Why Arthur must you say words that make that smile return to my face. Morgana smiled slightly at him
"I'm glad you're back" She patted my back and then walked away.
"I'm glad you're back too Arthur... and whoever saved you was obviously a kind person... Do remember that person when you look at magical people in the future" I wanted nothing more than to show him the books I've been reading for a month, tell him of my abilities and what my nightmares actually are. But most to tell him of how Merlin's managed to save his life twice now, but I wouldn't and couldn't, because He nodded and kissed my forehead, pulling me into a hug as we watched the blue caped knights and guards leave on a lot of horses and carriages with supplies. We stood there for a moment longer and I noticed Merlin in one of the fields down below sneaking out to get some air. I growl as Father called Arthur. I understood that that was my que to leave. I kiss his cheek and whispered
"I'm going to beat up Merlin for sneaking out on Gaius... if you'll excuse me" I rushed away towards Merlin's location, once in shouting distance I shout
"MERLIN.." He ducked behind a tree "Oh Merlin don't be bloody stupid I know you are there... and don't you use magic to escape Father and Arthur are watching from above" I came up him from behind. He laughed
"Okay okay you caught me, but please don't make me go back... Gaius is singing, it's driving me mad... stay with me a while please" I sigh and nod
"Okay 5 minutes... but after you go home, wrap yourself in a blanket and stay warm understood?" He bowed a little
"Yes ma'am" I laugh and then asked
"Look at them... Father's probably telling him all about Nimuer... I heard him ask as I left and now he's patting Arthur on the back? for what disobeying him? for you saving his life? bloody arrogance of them both" Merlin laughed and put his arm around my shoulder carefully to not be seen
"Aww is the little princess jealous of her brother. But seriously though Adira... He may have your fathers approval. But once Arthur takes one step too far with the belief he shares with you that not all magic is evil then he'll be disowned. You will be disowned and hunted if your found out your abilities.. so if your father disowns you both, Arthur will bond with you more" I laugh
"It's typical of you to use my hatred for the situation now into something better for the future... Now come on. Home" Merlin growled but walked with me at quick pace to get him home as he started shivering. Just as I placed the blanker around his shoulders, sat him down and got him to drink something warm Arthur walked in.
"Still alive then?" I didn't know whether he was referring to me going after him or him being poisoned. Merlin laughed
"yeah just about.. I understand I have you to thank for that and Adira too for getting it to me on time" Arthur started being cocky
"Yeah well it was nothing.. a half decent servant is hard to come by these days... only dropping by to check you were alright... you'll be back to work tomorrow" Merlin was most eager to hear those words
"Yeah yeah of course, bright and early" just as Arthur came close to the door to leave "Arthur... thank you. You too Adira" Me and Arthur glance at each other and said in unison
"You too" and Arthur left with a smile and it was a telling smile, he obviously cared about Merlin he practically just admitted it to him.
I stayed for another hour or so, getting new piles of books that Gaius had said that if I was going to learn I might as well learn it all. Merlin kindly helped carry the count of over 15 thick books to my chambers, not wanting to let them into others hands and so I could get to bed and not have to return for a second load, considering it was now quiet late. As we walked I realised just how strong Merlin's small, fragile frame is. Once at the doors to my chambers I opened it to find Mary sitting inside. I place the books down on the desk, gestering Merlin to do the same. Mary without warning got up and pulled me into a tight hug. I was so stunned I barely had time to speak
"Mary... squeezing me and the baby" She let down and bowed clearly remembering who I am
"Oh my lady I am so sorry and the baby is fine... Gaius gave her a clean bill of health and me too. I came because I was getting tired of being stuck at home, I wanted to talk to you about names as Derrick is working all hours to help support the baby" She then turned to Merlin "I'm sorry I haven't come to see you yet Merlin. I do hope you are well and that you didn't get Arthur in too much trouble" Merlin laughs puts his arms out to hug her, which she accepted gracefully
"I don't know what you are talking about Mary. But I am fine and don't worry you come first with that baby" She smiles at him, from day one Mary and Merlin always got along, always speaking and laughing, Mary was the kind of maid that no matter who she served she would be loved and easily spoken to and got along with but she was also the kind of maid whom you can forget is there, one that if she wanted could hide in the shades and never be seen, that's why I've always tried to stay on her good side. Noticing the books Mary said
"Well you'll be busy for days reading those My lady... though knowing you and your reading still it could be 42 hours if you really wanted to" I smile at her
"Erm... Guys how about we continue this in the morning? I'm rather tired and had to save my sibling from prison" Mary nodded
"Of course my lady, I'll come and bring you your breakfast in the morning and then we can talk if that is to your liking?" I laugh
"Of course... the other maid never bring the right cheese" She nods and makes her way out of the room. Turning to Merlin I smile
"You'd better get home. You're starting work tomorrow... I'll come and see how you're getting along at some point tomorrow..." he nods and kisses me cheek
"Sleep well my lady and thanks I'll need the rescue" Once he had left me to my thoughts, I was more than ready for a good night sleep and another magical book to read while I winded down and to get comfy in my night clothes. That night Merlin's lips were the thing I thought of as I fell into a smiling sleep. Something tells me I won't be able to hide how I fell for much longer... but I'll keep it in as long as I need to, as painful as it'll be. Right now I'm just happy to be his friend.