A/N: I just posted a one-shot not too long ago and explained the status of my other two stories: Energy and New Beginnings. I'm having trouble keeping up with my readers who want me to update at every possible moment but I find that this is hard to balance with three stories. I know this is my fault for posting three stories up around the same time, my apologies. I'm going to stick with one for now and it will be this one. The other ones are currently on Hiatus until further notice. Sorry, please don't kill me!
I had trouble trying to figure out how to start this chapter. I think I rewrote it a couple of times and I still don't know how I feel about it. I know I have a lot of things to explain but I want to do that as the story progresses. What fun is it to spoil everything right away? =P
Hatake Kakashi leaned against a tall tree in a vast clearing, his arms folded across his chest as the rain that poured down from the heavenly skies clouding his vision only slightly. He felt the cool drops seep down through his clothes, making slow and nimble trails down the skin of his back. The cold rain felt good in the heat of the summer. It was relaxing and soothing, the scent and sound of the relentless drizzle clearing the tall shinobi's head more or less.
It was days like these where he enjoyed making his way out to the cenotaph, the rain giving him a sense of peace and serenity that nothing else nowadays could provide. The Copy Ninja felt like he was carrying the weight of the world upon his shoulders and as the days dragged on, it was only becoming more cumbersome. Between discovering his fifteen year old daughter was pregnant and with Sakura having fled the village only weeks before, it felt like his world was ending slowly but surely.
Kakashi raked a hand tiredly through his soaked mane of silver hair.
"You look like shit, Hatake."
Said man did not have to turn his head to see who had approached him from the nearby trees. He had felt his presence long before he entered the clearing. Making his way over, Genma paused next to Kakashi as he eyed the cenotaph, signature senbon bobbing between his lips.
The two men stood in silence, feeling the weight of each others thoughts as the rain continued to pour down among them.
"Tsunade called for me today." Genma drawled, tilting his head up towards the grey sky.
"Hm," Kakashi grunted, already knowing where this conversation was going.
"Seems she wants you to come by and see her sometime this afternoon."
Of course. Kakashi thought to himself.
The rain was beginning to let up, the all too familiar blue sky of the Fire Country breaking through the overcast clouds as sunlight began to seep through the cracks and warm the Earth once again.
Genma clapped a large hand on Kakashi's shoulder before muttering a small "Things will turn up Kakashi."
And then with a puff of thick, grey smoke the senbon sucking man was gone, leaving Kakashi alone to his thoughts once more.
A soft knock on Tsunade's office door roused the Hokage from her moment of reverie of staring out the large windows and watching the rain turn into soft sprinkling. It was one of those unpredictable days that the Fire Country was all too familiar with. Sometimes the weather couldn't make up its' mind and today had to be one of them as the clouds seemed to dissipate before her very eyes and the sun lit up the small village once again.
"Come in."
With a turn of the knob, Kakashi let himself in quietly. He took a couple paces forward and stopped short Tsunade's desk. Stuffing his hands deep into his Jounin pants, Kakashi slouched into his trademark pose.
"You asked to see me?"
Tsunade folded her hands together on her desk as she looked down somewhere near the tall Shinobi's feet as she debated on how to broach the oncoming conversation. It would be a tender and touchy one for the both of them but it was long overdue and it was about time the curvy Hokage did something about it. After days of planning and exploring options to choose the wisest course of action, Tsunade thought she finally had a game plan.
Everything was set. The only thing left to do was to convince the man before her.
"I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous to meet with you today, Kakashi." Tsunade started, finally glancing up at the sullen man in front of her.
Kakashi shifted his weight from one foot to the other, hands still buried in his pockets. He looked as indifferent as ever but inside it was a whole other story.
"This is something we probably should have talked about earlier. I know this is hard for you, Kakashi-"
"Tsunade-sama, what are you really getting at?" Kakashi interrupted, his shoulders beginning to tense under the strained atmosphere.
Tsunade narrowed her eyes, pulling a piece of paper that entailed this mission's details sharply from the large, disheveled stack that lay strewn about on her desk that included unfinished mission reports and detailed descriptions of others. Expect the man to be nothing but straightforward and unequivocal.
"We need to get Sakura back."
Kakashi rubbed his hand over the crease of his forehead as if predicting an excruciating headache was on its way. He knew what he had been walking into as soon as Genma had admitted being called to see the Hokage earlier in the clearing of the cenotaph. He knew there was no escaping the sore subject but it didn't make it any less easier to engage in conversation about.
"Why do you need me?" Kakashi already knew the answer to his own question before it was even out of his mouth.
"I would rather not you be on board this mission. You're too connected to Sakura and I try to stay away from that as much as possible. With that said, you have some of the best tracking skills in the village and it is without question we get her back as soon as possible. Your tracking abilities are vital to this mission."
Kakashi was losing his patience and fast-what was left of them anyways. There was a large part of Kakashi that wanted to up and leave, pack a traveling bag and locate his wife and mother of his child as soon as could be but then there was another part that still felt hurt and numb in her decisions that she made for the good part of a year-not to mention her choice in leaving the village and disappearing. He still resented Haruno Sakura and he just wasn't ready to track down the woman who had abandoned her family and duties. For abandoning her village. It was all too fresh in his heart and mind and hearing someone ordering him that he find this estranged woman was all a bit too much at this point in time.
"Tsunade-sama, there are other people in this village with proficiency in tracking."
"You have never been one to so blatantly turn find a way around a mission in not going, Kakashi. I understand this has been a hard-"
The Copy Ninja reached the Hokage's desk in two strides, slamming his hands down hard on top her desk causing papers to scatter and fly off in a heap of white. Tsunade didn't even flinch when he made eye contact with the honey-blonde, his visible eye holding nothing short of pure anger and fury.
"You have no idea how hard it has been. Have you ever had to look your fifteen year old daughter and explain that her mother up and left with no letters-no nothing of when she might return and come home?" Kakashi snapped, his voice as a cold as ice as his breathing began to pickup with the intensity of the situation.
"Kakashi-"
"I haven't even told her the reason as to why Sakura left. 'Yeah, Tashi...about your mother leaving? Well she's been having an affair with her childhood love for about a year now. Just thought I'd let you know, sweetie.'"
"Kakashi, please just sit down-"
"I refuse to hurt my daughter like that. She's already broken enough. I don't need to add more to her plate. She already hates me enough as it is and I will be damned if it is me who tells her. And I will be damned if I accept this worthless mission. I'm done here, Tsunade. Find someone else who's up for wasting their time trying to find a selfish woman who doesn't even want to live here."
And as swiftly as Kakashi had entered those doors, he made the same exit making sure to slam the heavy wooden doors shut behind him, rattling the room in his departure.
Tsunade just sighed to herself, opening the drawer to her right and pulling out her handy Sake, popping the cap and chugging it bottoms up. She knew Kakashi was adamant in not accepting any mission pertaining to finding Haruno Sakura but she didn't think she would have gotten such a response from the normally collected and nonchalant man. Perhaps he was hurting far more than what anyone gave him credit for.
Tsunade felt bad for the silver haired shinobi. It wasn't everyday when you found out that the so called love of your life had been having an affair with Uchiha Sasuke for almost a year, give or take. Let alone disappearing completely from the village without a word to anyone.
She understood where the man was coming from. With that point made, she needed her apprentice back now. If Sakura had been prepared to cut all ties with all teammates and friends from Konoha, then she was a potential danger to the village in carelessly or purposely giving away vital information or worse-even becoming an enemy of the Leaf and joining ranks with another group of ninja. Tsunade liked to think that Sakura was not one to go so far as to land herself in the infamous Bingo Book but it was not a risk she would be willing to take. Sakura had been close to Tsunade and she had access to information that the standard ninja did not. Despite everything, Tsunade was still the Hokage and had a job and responsibility to uphold. And if that wasn't reason enough, then the fact that the girl had become almost a daughter figure to her was. She loved and deeply cared for the pink haired kunoichi. It was a terrible and scary world for rogue nin and Tsunade knew Sakura did not deserve a world of constant battle and cold indifference that that life could only provide, even with the shallow and utterly stupid decisions she had made. Tsunade was not pleased with the mistakes and pain she had caused to those affected by her choices. Yet everyone makes mistakes at one point or another-some worse than others of course. But as long as Sakura learned and grew from this experience than she could work for forgiveness over time. Granted things may never be the same or return to how they used to be, but abandoning your village was not the option to take. It was taking the easy way out and Tsunade could not-would not settle for that. Not from any apprentice she coached.
The fact remained the honey-blonde needed to bring Haruno Sakura back home-to where she really belonged. There was no other way around it.
Tsunade would give Hatake Kakashi time but he would be going on this mission, whether he liked it or not. It was not a matter to be discussed or argued. He was going. Yes there were other ninja with decent tracking skills but nowhere near as capable as Hatake Kakashi. He would cut the time in finding Sakura in half, at the least. And frankly, Tsunade was short on ninja adequate and suited enough for this particular mission. She had quite a few teams already on missions who wouldn't be back in time enough to leave, Neji and Hinata-other outstanding trackers-on those teams. The Hokage already had configured a potential team in locating and bringing Sakura back.
Hatake Kakashi was on that team.
Tsunade would give him one day to rethink things over and if he was still against it, then things would have to get difficult.
But she was not going to back down on this one.
Haruno Sakura was surprised to say the least when the moment she entered the hotel room door and closed it shut softly behind her, she was met with such an overwhelmingly bittersweet semblance. She was so startled with the fact that the man before her had decided to go out of his way to chase her and track her down all the way from the Fire Country to Wind with who knows what intentions at mind, though Sakura had an idea or two. Seeing Uchiha Sasuke before her sent shivers up and down her spine and not in the pleasant way. Not anymore at least. She wanted to run to him yet escape him all the same.
It was intimidating to see the man whom Haruno Sakura had had an affair with for the better part of a year.
"Why do you smell like smoke and liquour?" A cold and indifferent Uchiha Sasuke asked, leaning against the small wooden desk that faced up against the wall parallel to the door.
The pink haired kunoichi sighed, walking carefully around the tall man to set her traveling bag down on the single bed in the room near a window that overlooked the barren city outside. The room was high up from the ground and from this vantage point Sakura could see other tall buildings across the street that seemed to stretch for miles into the cloudy sky. This was a town that was more or less built up and packed together than spread out like the village Sakura had grown up and lived her whole life.
"Why are you here, Sasuke?"
"I could ask you the same thing. You have no business being all the way west into Wind Country. You also aren't on any missions and I know this for a fact. The more I think about why you're here the less sense it makes." Sasuke spoke calmly, his voice sounding always so smooth.
The petite kunoichi half turned towards the man regarding her, eyes still focused on nothing in particular beyond the window.
"I had no choice. I had to leave Konoha, Sasuke. I dug myself a hole from the beginning of it all. Back then I thought I could cover everything up, masking my trail wherever I went. But along the way it got to a point where I forgot what lies I was telling to who. It was only a matter of time. It caught up with me-us."
Sasuke walked towards the large window, sidling right up next to Sakura and looked down at her sideways from above.
"It didn't mean you had to leave."
"Yes it did."
"How?"
"My daughter and Kakashi. It mostly had everything to do with them." Sakura whispered softly, wiping a hand over her eyes as if this conversation in and of itself was exhausting. In every way it was. This was a conversation she didn't want to share with anyone because the more she said it aloud, the more official and real it all became.
Her life crumbled in her own hands at her own undoing.
"I would think since because of your daughter, it would have given you the willingness to stay-"
"Sasuke you don't understand." Sakura cut off sharply, the stress and tension of the past couple of days finally wearing on her. It was almost funny having this discussion with Sasuke because there was so much that was just totally and completely wrong with it. For one, the man shouldn't even have known where she ran off to. It was insulting to her every fiber of being a ninja. She couldn't even mask her own damn trail. The ninja that Tsunade would be sending out shortly, if she hadn't already done so, would surely catch onto her trail and she would look all the more of a fool. Secondly, the man who had caused her world to self-destruct was before her-in her own hotel room trying to possibly comfort her? Maybe talk some sense into her in coming home? It didn't even make sense! He should want her to stay away from the village after everything. A select few people knew about the fallout and word would be spreading fast around the small village and all the respect Sasuke had worked so hard in achieving after finally returning to the village after so long of lusting after his brother's revenge would all be for nothing. People would seethe at him when he walked by. Kakashi would be looking for a way to draw this man's blood on the sidewalk, to say the least.
And here he was. Telling her to come back home as if she had only hit a bump in the road. As if this were something that could easily be fixed and forgotten of. It was quite the opposite. If Sakura had any intention of going home, every person around her would frown upon her actions. People would belittle her and think disgusting things about her and not give her the time of day. Even Ino would be shocked out of her mind to have known Sakura had engaged in something so scandalous.
Not to mention ever looking in Kakashi's and Tashi's direction ever again. Sakura had spoilt every child's dream of having the perfect family and cut any net of safety in the image of the all-loving family. Where they loved each other happily ever after. Nothing was wrong and nothing would ever be wrong.
Yet Sakura had to go and tarnish even that. Her family. She had to go fuck around with an Uchiha who really didn't give a flying fuck what the outcome of this situation was. He only wanted her to come back now because it would save him the time and effort instead of losing her trail later and searching endlessly. He never cared about what people thought of him in the first place. So when people started talking and understanding, he would have nothing to lose.
Haruno Sakura, on the other hand, had everything to lose. If she hadn't already lost it.
It hurt. It hurt like a kunai to the heart that never alleviated. The things she cared about the most in her life were gone. Her love from Kakashi-gone. Her love from Tashi-gone. The love from her friends and superiors-gone. The love for herself-gone.
She missed Tashi so much. Everytime Sakura thought about her bubblegum haired daughter, tears would come to her eyes and it was all she could do to stop the dam from breaking. And when she thought of Kakashi, that usually was the straw that did her in.
He would never forgive her. Not now, not ever.
"I think you should leave." Sakura whispered once more, the tears threatening to fall with the blink of an eye.
"Sakura-"
"Leave, Sasuke."
"Tsunade will classify you rogue-"
"I don't care if Tsunade considers me rogue or missing! My mind was made up the night I left. I'm not coming back and if I have to fight you, then so be it. Get it through your thick skull! I'm not going back." Sakura snarled, the dam cracking and the walls dissolving as the entirety of the situation poured over her bones.
Sasuke continued to peer down at the broken girl before him, trembling and shaking with the effort in holding back her emotions and tears as he observed the tears that slowly ran down the length of her smooth, pale cheeks. He wouldn't fight her. That was the last thing he wanted. He knew all too well from experience that sometimes leaving the home you once knew so well was an important step of the journey. Sasuke didn't understand clearly Sakura's motives in staying here but it wasn't much of his business anymore. She had made it all too clear that anything they had had ended the night she departed Konoha. He couldn't tell her to do something she had no intentions of doing. He wasn't in the shoes to do that anymore. The combination of both their actions had landed them in the mess they found themselves stuck in now. Sasuke would never really consider this Cherry Blossom his enemy, no matter what the Hokage decided to classify her as and no matter what decisions Sakura made from here on out. He had caused her life as she knew it to crumble and cave in around her, causing madness to ensue and boil over as the misery of it all sunk her under. He would leave if she really wanted him to because he owed her that much and by the looks of things, she wanted him gone and out of her life.
So with the caliber of one who had experience of this area of life, without another word, Uchiha Sasuke was truly gone.
And only then did Sakura let herself break down and cry.
It was one of those rare and somewhat humorous nights when Hatake Kakashi found himself drowning in his own misery with his teammates as he carefully watched Tashi drown herself in her misery with her teammates. If someone had thought this was unruly parental behavior, no one said anything. The life of ninja was far different than civilian life and their days were limited. Not knowing when you would need to sacrifice your life for the better sake of the village, each day was precious. If you could sacrifice your life to the village at age fifteen on Jounin status, Kakashi had no problem allowing his daughter a couple of drinks here and there.
The thought of Tashi being almost a month pregnant never much occurred to Kakashi as the drinks kept coming. But even in his hazy state of mind, he was the ever watchful father. As long as she stayed with her girl friends, all was well.
The silver haired shinobi had yet to find out who the damned boy was who had impregnated his girl. He did not push Tashi for answers, knowing all too well an argument would surely ensue in its wake and with the demeanor that rivaled her mother's, he was not willing to set himself up for immediate failure. There was something about girls from the ages of fourteen to seventeen that made him steer clear of picking any fights.
But when Hatake Kakashi found out who this unlucky boy was, he was sure to kill him without question. It wasn't Kakashi's fault that he was extremely, if not insanely, protective over Tashi. You knew you were a good father if you despised any boy or man who approached your daughter, even if it was within complete reason. Yes ninja lost their virginity at young ages but just imagining Tashi partaking in sexual behavior at fifteen-perhaps even earlier-caused the Copy Ninja to tense his shoulders and clench his jaw in unadulterated anger, refilling yet another shot of something strong that burned as it went down his throat.
"Hatake, take it easy man. You know how I feel about carrying you home every night."
"Genma, shutup and pour me another shot." Kakashi muttered, lifting the headband over his Sharingan as the room became too blurry for just one single eye to take in. He noticed that people were starting to file out of the bar, accompanied in groups of three or four or even just singles as people began to turn in for the night to greet yet another dutiful morning. Damn, was it that late already?
"Did you see Tsunade today? You know that woman will beat your ass if you keep skipping out on seeing her." Genma singsonged as he leaned in close to Kakashi, the noise of the quaint pub still quite loud and boisterous.
"There goes Tashi with that one dude I always see her with-"
Kakashi sputtered his drink, coughing up hard liquor and spitting it across the table as he stood up abruptly from his seat in the back and scouted the entrance and exit of the bar. Sure enough, he could see the familiar color of pink before slowly disappearing into the night accompanied by a large man who had the fucking balls to wrap an arm around her waist as he led her in the complete opposite direction of Kakashi's apartment.
"Oh shit, Kakashi don't do anything stupid." Genma slurred, tumbling out of his seat as he realized it was too late. The man had the speed of unnatural talent that Genma still had trouble grasping and understanding, even drunk he was quick and nimble.
Kakashi had the look of murderous intent as he threw open the swinging wooden doors, exiting into the cool and crisp air of the night. Making a sharp left he sped towards the direction he saw the two take off in and halted when he came across a small and narrow alley.
There he saw Tashi up against a wall with that man she had left with, all too close and personal for Kakashi's liking. It liked as though they were talking but did two people really have to be so close just to have a conversation? And did the fumbling boy really have to hike up a girl's skirt just to speak to her?
Kakashi moved faster than he could account for and his actions were on overdrive as he reached them in only a couple of strides. Ripping the man by the scruff of the neck, who was assaulting his daughter in the most disgusting of ways, he threw him hard against the opposite wall, pulling a kunai from his thigh holster. Holding it roughly against the boy's neck and even drawing a small trail of warm blood down his jugular, Kakashi got right up in his face.
"What the fuck do you think your doing?" Kakashi's tone was menacing and caused the boy to shiver and tremble underneath his firm hold.
"N-Nothing! We we-were just talking, Kakashi-san!"
"I'm giving you three seconds to leave and if I ever see you around my daughter again, I will gut you so fast you won't even know what just happened." Kakashi seethed, tossing the man out of the alley as the boy stumbled and fell to the ground. Turning his head in paranoia, the boy quickly ran off into the night to never be seen again.
"Tashi, we're going home." Kakashi said with such finality with no room for argument.
"Who do you think you are-"
"Tashi!" Kakashi all but shouted, whipping towards the small girl with rage laced in his words and posture, the affects of the alcohol slowly dissipating with the fury and impatience of the situation.
Glaring daggers at her father, Tashi elbowed him harshly in the gut as she jumped to the rooftop and began the short trek back towards home, leaving her father to lean up against the dirty brick wall and and calm his beyond rattled nerves.
The silence enveloped him as the the chaos vanished into thin air leaving Kakashi feeling spent and more tired than he had felt in ages. The silver haired shinobi hadn't realized how much it had cooled off during the night, seeing white puffs of air rise from his mouth.
Kakashi limply slid down the length of the wall as he drooped his head into his arms, caging his face inside his own embrace. He knew he had fucked up big time just now. He understood that he was slowly furthering himself away from Tashi and if he didn't learn to quit making petty mistakes it would get to the point where she would never forgive him for the things he did and then remission would be out of his grasp forever. What she didn't understand was Kakashi had good intentions at heart, they just came out wrong and astray. He knew he couldn't chase off every boy that came running to his daughter for the sake of saving her. Tashi was on her way to becoming a woman in less than three years and was Kakashi going to scare off men then too? He knew he couldn't keep her protected or sheltered forever, especially with Tashi being a Jounin now. Already she had been exposed to so much. There was only so much that could be preserved when you became a ninja-a warrior and tool for the sanity and protection of the village. Losing your innocence and chastity became just a fantasy or dream that you looked back on years after losing them and wondered if life could have been any different.
How were fathers supposed to learn to let go of their offspring? How were fathers supposed to learn to allow their children to form their own path in life without completely shutting them in the dark? Kakashi hadn't realized how much and how deep the love and care he had for Tashi went until he felt as if both their world's were crumbling and falling apart around them. He still didn't know how far that love stretched for, only that it was a distance Kakashi had no hope of reaching. The tall shinobi just wanted to rise above all of this holding his daughter's hand and being able to say "We made it."
With a loud sigh the silver haired Copy Ninja reluctantly stood, knowing he should get back soon and talk with Tashi about what had just transpired. Kakashi knew this was something he could not put off and this had to be done as soon as possible if he wanted to make a heartfelt amends.
So without further word, Kakashi darted into the crisp night air with the mindset of not screwing up once again.
A/N: Is this a good ending to this chapter? I didn't know how to end it but I think this gives me a good start to my next chapter. Let me know! Constructive criticism is wanted!