I own nothing not even this computer. Please remember to read and review. It is my life blood Sorry if this is a little on the short side.
Adrien flopped onto his couch and attempted to catch his breath. Kim had insisted that he sprint the entire way back to his house. While carrying all of their backpacks. Nino had not even attempted to keep up and simply said that he would meet them there as soon as he could. Kim on the other hand continued to goad Adrien along until they reached his house.
Now he was tired, sore and sweaty. And Kim still wouldn't tell him why he had forced him to do that. He liked exercise as much as the next guy, and he got a lot of it as Chat Noir, it was sort of his job after all...but Kim seemed obsessed with it...now that Adrien thought about it the guy might actually have a body problem.
"Okay! Now then we have to get into the specifics of how you're gonna start flirting!" Kim didn't even seemed phased by the run and Adrien actually felt a stab in his chest, an emotion he very rarely felt. Absolute and complete loathing towards a human being and their endless levels of stamina.
"Can I please have a minute to gather myself?" Adrien asked quietly.
"Did you dudes seriously sprint the entire way here?" Nino inquired as he walked in. He picked up his own backpack and began rifling through it. "Because that's almost two miles."
"We need to get him in the right state of mind!"
"Which is?"
"Pure unbridled adrenaline constantly flowing through your veins!"
"I am starting to put a lot of pieces together here." Nino said as he pulled out his notebook and started homework. It was a quick assignment, he finished it within five minutes. Adrien was meanwhile trying to catch his breath while Kim wandered around the room taking everything in. Like most of Adrien's classmates he had never been inside the rich boys room, it was always off limits. Probably having to do with how the boy was constantly scheduled to do a million and one things in one day, he never really had the chance to hang out with anyone else.
"Jeez. I knew you were rich but this just seems wasteful...how often do you use this thing?" Kim asked admiring Adrien's climbing wall. Adrien looked over, his hair sticking to his head and his face flushed a bright adorable piggy pink.
"I average around once to twice a week." Kim paused and looked at Adrien's stick figure like form.
"Take off your shirt." He said authoritatively.
"Won't Max get mad that you're cheating on him?" Nino said from where he sat on the floor going through a few papers. Adrien looked at the blushing stuttering athlete in surprise.
"You and Max are dating? I thought you liked Alix?" Adrien said surprised. This just caused Kim to get even more indignant and began spluttering and taking deep breaths, pushing his chest out and talking unintelligibly.
"What? Use actual language please." Nino spoke up, smirking, he was enjoying this immensely, even if this was going to spiral out of control drastically he was going to enjoy seeing Kim getting put on the spot. For all the boys tough talk he could get pretty worked up pretty easily.
"I am not dating Max! Or Alix for that matter?"
"Are you dating both? My Father introduced me to a trio who was like that, they were polygamists or something like that." Adrien spoke up again. Kim became quiet and just stared unnervingly at Adrien for a solid minute, Adrien continued the eye contact before finally snapping under the unrelenting gaze, his natural doll eyes doing nothing for the taller boys confidence.
"So why do I need my shirt off?"
"I just need to see how ripped you are. Look Nino and I will take ours off too so it isn't weird."
"This is the very definition of weird." Nino deadpanned to the two who had already pulled their tops off. Kim looked shocked at Adrien's body. Kim was surprisingly muscular for a runner. He had large well defined biceps, his abs stood out on him and his shoulders were easily three times the size of the average persons. Still he was looked weaker than Adrien. Where Kim was developed for sports Adrien's body appeared to be chiseled from marble. He had a six pack and well defined arms, his shoulders were smooth and Nino just then remembered that France had a modeling policy where if a picture was worked up or photoshopped then there would be a tag on it. Adrien's never had tags.
"Whoa."
"Dude." Nino said, positive that he was not, definitely NOT Taking his shirt off in front of the other two now.
"What?" Adrien looked down at his stomach, pecs and abs. He never really thought that he looked that different from other people. Sure a little stringy, but still being put on a work out regime at age four was normal right?
"This actually helps my plan out a bit. The date is going to go gaga if you flash her that package you got." Kim said looking his subject over as if he were planning on merchandizing Adrien for public consumption.
"Adrien he's joking, do not show your blind date your body." Nino cut in trying to protect his best friend from accidentally giving Marinette a heart attack.
"Jeez, those supermodel diets must do a wonder. I am both scared and impressed."
"Diets? What are you talking about?" Adrien asked confused. Kim and Nino exchanged confused looks before looking back at him.
"The doet...that you are on...your food consumption?"
"I'm not on any diet. I don't eat a ton of sweets but I'm not getting starved or forced to eat a ton of celery or anything...you know that's a law right? That models aren't supposed to be put into dangerous work out routines or dietary restrictions? It's for their health. It was a pretty big thing when France passed it?"
Kim raised an eyebrow and Nino had to keep the shocked look off of his face. If Adrien's body was one hundred percent natural than he fell easily into a one percent of humanity. That one percent consisting of lovely, bodily perfect, demigods. What Adrien left out was the fact that he worked out and got a lot of movement in as Chat Noir, something that drastically caused him to develop muscles.
"Okay! Moving on!" Kim clapped his hands and looked between the two guys in his possession. "Nino I need you to sit on the couch and pretend to be a girl for a few seconds."
"Yeah. I am not going to do that. That specific thing that you just asked me to do. Ever." Nino declined quickly and ferociously.
"Come on! I need to see his flirting game. I need to know what I'm working with here. And I can't do it up close, just do it and I'll owe you big time." Nino massaged his face before taking off his hat and sitting down on the couch next to Adrien.
"If this leaves this room I am going to hunt you down like a wild animal dude." Nino said as Adrien just chortled softly to himself. Kim looked between the two of them, held his hands up like a director.
"ACTION!" He shouted. Adrien stood up, walked around the couch a couple of times and then looked at Nino.
"I have no idea what I'm going to do here."
"CUT!" Kim shook his head and crossed his arms. This was going to be harder then he thought.
"Can I have a scene or something? What am I supposed to say to him?"
"First off when we are acting Nino is firmly a 'her' until further notice."
"Oh Jesus." Nino said putting his head in his hands.
"Second off, I've run off with my date. You are sitting down with your's just be yourself. Until I tell you to stop." Adrien nodded, content with a little direction. He knew exactly what to use. He did it all the time with Ladybug, he just needed to pretend that Nino was her for a few seconds.
He walked back and took Nino's chin in between his thumb and pointed finger.
"Aren't you just a lovely little sun beam. You brighten up my world my love." Nino's eyes widened and he tried to pull his head away. Adrien was looking at him with possibly the biggest bed room eyes he had ever seen and his entire mind was shouting to get out of there! He was really flattered but he didn't see Adrien that way at all!
"No! CUT! CUT! CUT! Not right! Not Right AT ALL!" Kim said exasperated, shaking his head angrily, his arms crossed firmly and eyes closed. "That was way too chick flick style! Where did you learn to flirt like that?" Adrien realized he might have gone overboard a little and looked down at the ground in embarrassment.
"Anime mostly, some manga." Nino snorted and covered his mouth. His friend was a total nerd! Adrien Agreste! A NERD!
"Well at least you didn't do any poor rendition of Korean or whatever." Kim said he rubbed his eyes. "Look you need to realize something here buddy. Girls don't want to be complimented. They like to be insulted, it gives them something to work towards. Your affection." Kim wrapped an arm around Adrien and steered him towards the window to overlook the next building.
"You see girls are like a game. And you want to win it, but the rules are rigged against you. So you have to be belittling and super confident at all times. Otherwise you instantly loose!"
"Okay. No. Dude. Just...No." Nino wrapped his arm around Adrien and steered him away from the frowning Kim. Adrien felt as if he were being competed for against two shoulder angles.
"That was crazy talk. Do not listen to it. Girls want to be complimented. Sure, everyone does. So complement them. If you insult them then you just get angry girls and dissatisfied guys. Why do you think he's never had a date?"
"HEY!" Kim shouted "I've had dates!More then you can-"
"Name two."
"I don't bother with names! I know one was from Canada!" Adrien turned back to Nino, he was seemingly the better and saner option currently.
"What you have to do is to establish that you have power. And confidence, he was right about that. Just make sure that you are stern, and silent, chicks do dig the mysterious angle. Give out fleeting and vague compliments. Don't mention their make up or hair though, you won't understand the terms. Compliment something safe like their shirt, if you don't know what kind it is just say 'nice top'."
Adrien was pushed back down onto the couch with Nino beside him.
"Now try again. Remember don't talk until I start, but be confident." Adrien thought for a moment before folding his lips in and looking off into the distance with a stoic slightly amused look on his face. His legs straight, posture powerful and controlling and hands on his knees.
"So...come here...often?" Nino said in a high pitched falsetto.
"Cut! What was that?"
"What was what?"
"That voice? What was it?"
"My girl voice. Can we just move on?" Adrien was shivering he was trying so hard not to laugh,
"Not really my scene." Adrien spoke purposefully before glancing downwards at Nino.
"What is your 'scene' then?" Nino continued. Adrien looked down at him through the corner of his eye.
"You are. I think you have nice shoes." Nino and Kim waited for a second before Kim finally spoke up.
"Now assert that you have power and dominance. Put your arm over his shoulder."
"Do I really have to?" Adrien said, he was uncomfortable, this took him out of his depth. He preferred his style more, it was getting Ladybug slowly to his side. Not to mention in every TV anime he had watched, guys like this were no fun...and reminded him of his father eerily enough.
"Do as I say!" Kim said authoritatively. Adrien groaned but wrapped his arm around Nino.
"Now say something witty, something to get you to go or do something."
"Want to dance? Or would you prefer to get out of here?" Adrien said with a hint of danger to his tone. He was decent enough at throwing his voice so it was no problem.
The door slowly slapped shut. The three boys looked up to see The Gorilla standing stoically watching the unfolding drama before him. His small simian eyes took in the two shirtless boys, the hatless one cuddled up to his employers son on the couch and the tall one with his hands like a camera. Gorilla calmly walked to Adrien's desk and put down a silver platter with a silver top to it. He left it on and simply walked out saying nothing the entire time.
"Thank you!" Adrien called after him as he opened and closed the door behind him.
"That was awkward." Nino said staring at the now closed door that the enormous frame had to squeeze through.
"Welp I am uncomfortable!" Kim said walking to the climbing wall. "I say we climb this thing fourteen times to get our spirits up and then choose your uniform tomorrow!"
"Uniform?" Adrien asked confused as Nino stood up to join Kim on the fake brick wall.
"FINALLY! I thought they were never going to leave!" Plagg said as he dove under the silver top and pulled out his precious stinky cheese. Adrien wrinkled his nose in disgust as the cat spirit began to devour the stinky cheese.
"Hey! Those are my friends Plagg you pig. I wasn't going to just kick them out." Adrien said indignantly, he had had fun today! Sure it was a little strange sort of fun but fun nevertheless, he had never raised anyone up his rock wall before. Kim with his superior upper body strength had beaten him every single time. But he wasn't complaining.
"Sure sure. Whatever." The black kwami responded stuffing his face. Not taking his 'masters' ire seriously. Adrien sighed before groaning and rolling his shoulder. Kim had slapped him hard on the back when leaving and left a red star there. Plagg paused in his gorging and looked up at him.
"You know this is probably going to be good for you. Going on a date, finding a mate, staying out late. I should become a poet." Plagg turned his attention to a light beam and started to tap his paw a little.
"I just don't want it to get out of control. This might be fun but I really should stay more focused on other things. Like school, or as my secret identity."
"Crate, Rate, Sate. This isn't Russia you know, you are allowed to have fun. And I am going to rub your face in it once you do."
"As you always do." Adrien responded as he sat down on his couch and began to flip through the channels. Plagg continued to eat and make up rhymes in his tiny bobbing head.
I own nothing, not even this computer, please remember to read and review.