Summary: Brooke's brother accuses Heinz of never divorcing Charlene, and they go to court because of it. (Judge Trudy and the bailiff from "The Amanda Show" guest star.)

This is kind of a The Amanda Show cross-over, but whatever.

Law and Disorder

*Heinz's Building*

Heinz, fully dressed, stood over his wife's sleeping form. He marveled at how peaceful she looked. The light of the morning was shining through the window, giving her long brown hair a golden hue.

"Aw," Heinz cooed softly, "she looks like a little angel." He nudged her. "Wakey, wakey, eggs and...something-y."

"Mm, put the lime in coconut," Brooke muttered as she slowly regained consciousness.

"Good morning," Heinz sang. "Do you know what day it is?"

Brooke groaned and grabbed her pillow. "The day I question why I married a morning-person?" She pressed the pillow against her face.

Heinz rolled his eyes playfully. "No, silly. It's the first Saturday of the month."

Brooke bolted upright, grinning. "I'm up!"

"I knew that would wake you up. As know - and I'm explaining solely so that the readers will understand what's happening - on the first Saturday of each month, I make drizzle drench toast (Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends reference), which is pretty much the only Drusselstinian food that tastes good. Or, that has any flavor at all, for that matter. I only make it once a month, because it wouldn't be special, otherwise. Also, when I was a small boy, my parents never let me eat it-"

Brooke, fully dressed her usual gray pantsuit with her hair up in a high bun, interrupted, "Heinz, I think the readers get the point."

"How did you get dressed so fast?"

*Doofenshmirtz Kitchen*

Heinz, Brooke, and Vanessa sat the table, eating Heinz's drizzle drench toast, which looked like brown french toast, covered in syrup.

Vanessa swallowed and smiled, "Dad, you have got to give us the recipe."

Heinz wiggled his finger. "No, no. It's a secret recipe that my mother gave to Roger, whom I stole it from. But, maybe if you ladies are really nice to me, I could show you a thing or two about-"

Brooke rolled her eyes. "Oh, brother."

"MAY I HAVE SOME DRIZZLE DRENCH TOAST?" Norm asked, poking his head into the kitchen.

Heinz glanced at him, somewhat amused. "Norm, we've been over this. You're a robot. You don't eat."

"UNDERSTOOD." Norm left.

The door bell rang, and Brooke stood up. "I'll get it." She walked to the door and opened it, revealing a man older than her, with slightly messy brown hair, brown eyes, and a frown on his face. "David? What are you doing here?"

"Hey, lil' sis," he greeted. "I need to speak with Doofus."

Brooke turned around and called, "Heinz, my brother wants to talk to you."

"Which one?" Heinz called back.

"Does it matter? They both hate you."

"Good point." Heinz and Vanessa walked in. "Oh, hello, David."

Vanessa smiled at him. "Hey, David."

David smiled back. "Hello, Vanessa." He frowned again and handed Heinz a piece of paper.

"What's this?" Heinz asked, examining it.

Brooke skimmed over it and exclaimed in dismay, "A lawsuit!?"

"What!?" Heinz was equally shocked. "Why would you sue me?"

David got in his face, frightening Heinz. "For marrying my sister, when you're already married to someone else!"

This drew gasps from the girls and Heinz, who was offended at the accusation. "I am not!"

"Oh, yes, you are! See you in court, pharmacist. David is out." He flashed two fingers as he left. "Peace!"

Brooke, still processing what just happened, closed the door.

Vanessa voiced her thoughts. "Uh, what just happened?"

Heinz, however, was panicking. "I'm not married to anyone else! I swear! I was framed! Charlene and I are divorced! My watermelon-"

Brooke, despite her confusion, spoke evenly. "Heinz, calm down. We'll get this sorted out."

"How? You know David hates me. He's probably gonna get the best lawyer in Danville and-"

"He's not getting the best lawyer in Danville."

Vanessa asked, "How do you know?"

"Uh, because I'm the best lawyer in Danville."

Heinz and Vanessa asked simultaneously, "You are?"

Brooke glared at them, a little offended. "Yes. Heinz, I'm going to do whatever it takes to help you win this case."

"Th-that's okay, Brooke. I can defend myself," Heinz assured.

Brooked laughed at this, then frowned. "That's not funny. No one wins without a good lawyer."

(This song is a parody of Technology vs. Nature from the episode, "Perry Lays an Egg.")

Courtrooms not made for people without legal training.

Trying to defend yourself is never done without complaining.

Lawyers know what's necessary 'cause they always pay attention.

That's how they close their cases without any intervention.

Now I got you on the run.

The plaintiff: zero, the defendant: one!

*music*

When a person sues someone, they never know just what is coming to them!

Law school teaches you the basics of the job.

Then, you establish your own ways to defend!

So, if you think that can handle your own case, then let it go.

'Cause us lawyers can do many things that you just wouldn't know

About.

Before we've even begun,

Game over!

The plaintiff lost, the defendant won!

Game over!

The plaintiff lost, the defendant won!

-Brooke-

So, how does it feel to have your briefcases handed to you on a plate, son?

*Court*

This is the courtroom of Judge Trudy. If you have a beef, don't take the law in your own hands. Put your beef in the hands of Judge Trudy. Okay.

Heinz peeked into the courtroom.

The bailiff - a chubby African-American man - stood in front and yelled, "On your feet!" in a comically squeaky voice.

Everyone stood up, and the judge walked up to the podium. At least, Heinz thought she was the judge. She had short, curly brown hair and glasses and was probably younger than Vanessa.

"Alright," she said, "sit, sit, sit." She banged her gavel. "I am Judge Trudy."

Heinz closed the door. "Brooke, is the judge suppose to be a kid?"

Brooke gave him a strange look. "Kid?" She deflated. "Oh, please tell me it's not Trudy."

"Didn't you hear the narrator?"

"I didn't want to believe my ears."

To their surprise, Phineas came up to them. "Dr. and Mrs. D?"

"Phineas?" The couple said together.

Brooke asked, "What are you doing here?"

"He's my lawyer," David answered.

"Seriously?" Heinz asked.

Brooke chuckled in amusement. "Good luck, you two." She then muttered, "You'll need it."

Phineas ignored her. "Uh, guys, this won't put a strain on our friendship, will it?"

Heinz waved the question off. "Of course not, Phineas."

"Oh, good."

Heinz whispered to Brooke, "Unless he wins."

Brooke whispered back, "He's not going to win."

A man ran out of the courtroom, screaming, bees following close behind, while the others stared in shock and confusion.

The bailiff poked his head in the door, giggling. "He lost, so Judge Trudy had bees attack him." He left.

Brooke face-palmed. "And, that's only part of the reason why I don't like this judge."

"Next case!" Judge Trudy shouted.

"That's our cue."

The four of them walked in and took their places.

The litigants for the next case are entering the courtroom. I just realized my shirt is on backwards.

"Now, Mr. Wi-" Judge Trudy began.

"E-excuse me," Heinz said, earning an annoyed look from his wife. "A-aren't you a little young to be a judge?"

Trudy was visibly irritated by the interruption. "Let me answer that question with one of my own." She pointed with her gavel to Phineas. "Isn't he a little young to be a lawyer?"

Heinz glanced at Phineas. "Well, yes. Yes, he is."

"Then shut your flapper-hole!" Trudy banged her gavel.

"Hehehe. Flapper-hole. Hehehe," the bailiff giggled. "It's a mouth."

Trudy returned the matter at hand. "Now, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, Mr. Winters, I understand you have a problem with your brother-in-law."

"That's right," David confirmed. He pointed at Heinz in outrage. "This man married my younger sister when he was already married to someone else!"

"Ack!" Trudy exclaimed in disgust.

The audience booed and started throwing potatoes at Heinz and Brooke.

"Judge Trudy," Heinz whined, "these people are pelting us with potatoes!"

Trudy banged her gavel three times. "There will be no potato-throwing in my courtroom!" She paused. "If you wanna throw something at them, throw lemons." The audience did just that. When they stopped, the judge said, "Now, Mr. Doofus-Shirts-"

"A-actually, it's Dr. Doofenshmirtz," Heinz corrected.

Trudy was getting fed up with him. "Okay, Dr. Interruption-Pants. Will you please explain why you married a woman when you were currently married to some other woman?"

"I didn't!" Heinz testified, anxious. "I was married to someone else, but I got a divorce with that person!"

"And, do you have any proof of this alledged divorce?"

Brooke answered as she opened her briefcase. "We do, Your Honor." She pulled out a paper. "I have the paperwork, right here." She brought the paper to Trudy. "This document clearly states that my client did indeed file a divorce with his ex-wife."

"Your Honor," Phineas said, "my client has witnessed Dr. Doofenshirtz interacting with his ex-wife in public." David nodded in agreement.

Trudy looked at Heinz, as Brooke returned to her place beside him. "Dr. Doopleshmit-"

"Doofenshmirtz," Heinz corrected.

Exasperated, Trudy called, "Bailiff."

The bailiff walked up to Heinz spoke in a threatening tone. "Judge Trudy don't like gettin' corrected."

"Continue," Heinz squeaked in fear.

Trudy continued as though nothing happened. "Dr. Doomishmop, is it true that you interact with your ex-wife?"

"W-well, yes-"

"See?" David said triumphantly. "He admits it!"

Heinz continued, "But, it's in a platonic way!"

"Works for me." Trudy banged her gavel. "I find in favor of the defendant, Heinz Dorkenshnom." She glared at David, who couldn't believe he'd lost. "And, I sentence you to be tied to the giant floating baby head for the rest of the week."

"What?" David exclaimed.

"Ha!" Heinz gloated. "In your face, David! I won!"

The bailiff brought out the giant floating baby head and tied it to a protesting David. The bailiff then led them out of the room.

Judge Trudy banged her gavel. "Court dismissed. Bring in the dancin' lobsters."

Phineas and Ferb Remix from the episode, 'Drusselsteinoween,' played as several giant lobsters came in. Everyone but Brooke started dancing.

Brooke glanced uncomfortably at the audience. "This is why I hate this judge."

*Living Room*

Stacy and Ferb lie on the couch, exhausted.

Stacy spoke with a monotone. "All in favor of doing nothing for the rest of the day say, 'Ugh.'"

"Ugh," Ferb groaned.

Phineas came up to them and frowned when he saw the position they were in. "Whoa. Did I miss something?"

"You don't want to know," Stacy answered. "I'm just glad Perry found someone to take care of Candace."

Perry walked up to them. "Yeah, you two deserve some rest." He frowned at the startled looks the others gave him. "I'm still wearing a dress, aren't I?"

The End

Don't worry. I'll clear up that last part in the next chapter. Don't forget to review!