Chapter 4

11:00 p.m.

We decide to take a break for a glass of wine and a beautiful dessert Scully prepared. She cuts perfect slices of a fruit and custard tart and puts them on fancy little plates. Before we have eaten half of them, however, she is climbing on my lap and I am hard again, so I pick her up and carry her back into the bedroom.

"What do you want to do now?" she asks, between kisses.

"Do you like it from behind?" I ask, surprising myself with my own bluntness.

"We'll find out won't we?" she says. I briefly wonder if perhaps her sex life has been on par with mine lately.

I coax her up on her knees. This view is amazing. Her little ass is shaped like a heart. The position exaggerates her tiny waist. She has her head down and her butt up in the air, presenting herself to me. I slide into her, and this angle is different—she is tighter but so soft, slick, and warm. The curve of her vagina puts a delicious pressure on the head of my cock. I slide in and out a few times, unable to contain a moan. From this position I can see myself sliding in and out of her.

"My God Mulder this feels awesome." she groans, her voice breathless. I smile to myself. I lean over her so I can cup her breasts in my hand. My hands are big and her breasts are so delicate that they both fit in one hand. I tease her nipples one after the other. I groan again as they become hard at my touch, and I feel her tighten around me.

She moans something but I cannot understand her between her breathing and her face being down away from me. She repeats herself and I hear it this time. She's telling me to go faster.

I bring both hands up to grab her hipbones. I use them as leverage to push myself in deeper and harder, making her moan louder. I know why this position is a standard in adult movies—those movies that are not mine. It is incredibly primal—the very essence of fucking.

"Mulder, Mulder, oh my GOD" she cries out, as I feel her tighten hard around me, squeezing me. Her muscles tighten rhythmically, rippling up and down my shaft as I come to my own climax deep inside of her. "That was AMAZING." she sighs, her thighs still quivering slightly. I draw out of her and she rolls over onto her side and looks up at me from beneath her messy hair. "Mmmmmmmm" she moans, smiling.

I cannot believe how lucky I am to be right here right now. I've just had amazing sex with Dana Scully, the love of my life, whom I have waited for for 6 years. She is lying naked, sweaty, and unselfconsciously next to me, looking up at me through those beautiful green eyes. A delicious shiver courses through me. Her gaze is adoring. I have never felt like this before.

"Mulder?" she asks. I reach up and brush the stray hair out of her eyes and place a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"Yes?"

"Did you have any idea the evening would end like this when I invited you over?"

My mind sorts through my possible answers. Did I think this would happen? No. Did I hope this would happen? Well, yes. Did I have any notion of how amazing it would be? Never in a million years. I decide to tell the bald, unvarnished truth.

"Dana, when you invited me over, I was thrilled and scared. I decided that tonight I would tell you that I loved you, because it has been haunting me and gnawing at me for 6 years." I pause for breath. "I never told you before because I was afraid of your response. But I decided I had to tell you, because if you never knew, I just couldn't go on with that secret." She reaches up to stroke my cheek, her little hand leaving tingles in its wake.

"I'm so glad I decided to invite you." she grins at me. While I'm baring my entire soul to her, I decide to go one step further.

"So Scully. When you invited me over, did YOU have any idea the evening would end like this?" Suddenly she is turning red and looking away from me. For a moment I am scared, scared that I have offended her, but I realize she is giggling. If I have ever heard Dana giggle, it has not been very often. I certainly don't recall it. Blushing furiously, she looks back at me.

"I can't lie Mulder. The sexual tension between us has been...intense. You always said that you would never get involved in a relationship again after Diana, and I didn't want to push you." She pauses, as if gauging my reaction. I am feeling like a jerk—she has liked me for 6 years too and my big mouth has gotten the best of me again. "Whenever I felt like I was dropping too heavy of a hint, I got scared that I would hurt you and back off again." She takes a deep breath and goes on.

"So I decided I just couldn't handle it anymore. And...despite my deepest feminist inclinations, I decided to pull an old-fashioned seduction. I decided to cook you an awesome meal, get myself a little drunk, and see if I could find out the truth."

I laugh gently at her story. I find it utterly charming that she cooked that amazing dinner to impress me. It worked. I am completely impressed with her cooking, and absolutely floored by her tender care for my feelings. I am also still angry at myself for unintentionally pushing her away.

My default is to push people away. I feel often that loving people only ends badly. If you love no one, then the people you love cannot be taken away from you, and cannot hurt you either. Over the years I have built a wall around my deepest feelings—I am used to showing the world my dour exterior while I file away all the hurt, all the pain, all the fears and the nightmares and everything else.

But with Dana, I cannot help but allow that wall to break down. She has eroded it away with her sweet words, her lovely dinner, her constant caring and her amazing willingness to chase all over the country with me, believing me when no one else does, putting herself on the line for me over and over again. For the first time in more than 20 years, the wall is down. I feel vulnerable, yet in a way, it feels good. I feel like I can truly give over the care of my heart to her, and I know without a doubt she will not hurt me.

I break from my reverie to bend down and kiss her gently on the lips. The kiss deepens slowly and my hands reach behind her head, holding her to me. I pull away from her just enough to look deeply in her eyes. "You know that they say what you're doing at midnight on New Year's Eve is what you will be doing all year long." I whisper.

She turns her head to look at the clock. There are ten minutes left of this year. She reaches up and grabs my shoulder, pushing me back onto my back. "I know what I want to be doing when that clock strikes." she smiles at me saucily, and I cannot agree with her more.

She takes me slowly inside of her, straddling me, allowing her breasts to brush gently along my chest. Her hands go up behind my head, and she nibbles at my ear. She wraps her legs around me, effectively locking us together in our joined position. I am swelling to fill her, and I begin to tilt my hips into hers. Having fulfilled the primal urge that has tortured us both for 6 long years, we are now able to take it slowly, to enjoy the feeling of oneness, to look into each others' eyes, to allow our tongues to dance langorously around each other in an ever-deepening kiss. I run my hands up and down her sides, memorizing every curve, every hollow, every scar and freckle. I cup her buttocks in my hands and squeeze her to me, and I cannot feel where she ends and I begin.

When the clock strikes midnight, we are still intertwined, thrusting and grinding and sighing, kissing and touching each other, drinking in the amazing force surrounding us and filling us. "Happy New Year, Dana." I whisper in her ear, before kissing her again, so close to coming I am not completely certain whether I said the words aloud or not. I must have, because she responds, just as I reach my climax deep within her.

"Happy New Year, Fox." They are the sweetest words I've ever heard.